What to Expect if You Date a Cheater

There is a man or woman in your life that has captured your eye. You would love to pursue a relationship with this person; however, you heard that he or she had cheated on his or her last partner and has a reputation for "getting around." You reason that if this person of interest did cheat, then there must be a good reason; and if he or she is notorious for sleeping around, well maybe there is some truth, but the person may have changed.

What you hear from others about this handsome man or beautiful woman may not derail your thoughts of wanting to get to know him or her. You might even fantasize about this person one day settling down with you. But the reality is, the cheater most likely has been juggling women, men or both for decades and may not change. So what should you expect if you choose to date the cheater?

Know that this person will not be available whenever you want.

It's a lot of work to keep everyone happy and the cheater will often fail at it. He or she may forget an important engagement, run short of cash, or misplace something of importance simply because his or her mind is often preoccupied trying to juggle his or her dates' requests. Sometimes this person will not be available to answer your calls. Voice mails may go unanswered for days, maybe even weeks, depending on how much the cheater wants you involved in his or her life.

Someone might get pregnant.

Unless the cheater has taken care to prevent a certain part of the anatomy from impregnating or in the case of a woman become pregnant, he or she just might slip up one day. Most players don't want children, but there are some that are open to the possibility just so long as they don't have to stick around for long to care for his or her child. If you intend on dating this person, you will have to prepare yourself mentally for the possibility that you or the other lover might be a parent someday.

Your date or you might contract a disease.

No one plans on getting a sexually transmitted disease (STD,) but it happens especially when one or both parties refuse to use protection. You may be committed to the cheater, but that doesn't matter when he or she has multiple partners. Anyone of those he or she may be sleeping with may contract a disease from others. Therefore, you might find yourself visiting the doctor more than usual just to be sure you are STD free.

Jealous rages.

Sleep with a person long enough, and emotions will fly sometimes over the littlest of infractions. Although you may not anticipate getting angry about your date being with others, the more you get to know your cheating friend, the more likely you will experience intimate feelings. You may one day realize you are in love and if this is the case, you just might become very jealous particularly if your cheating partner is talking about a wife, girlfriend or other lovers in great detail.

This person may lie to you about cheating.

Let's say that you want to settle down and ironically the cheater decides that he or she is ready for a committed relationship. Can you honestly say that you will be able to trust this person? The relationship might be doomed from the beginning just from accusations and questions like, "I know you were out with him -- how come you didn't answer your phone? Where were you? Who were you with? Did I hear a woman's voice in the background when we were talking on the phone the other day?" In time the cheater will cheat on you, because the relationship is not what he or she might have imagined. Then he or she may lie to you about cheating, because he or she simply refuses to be truthful. It's his or her way to keep from arguing or letting you go before he or she is ready to end the relationship.

Expect uninvited guests at the cheater's residence while you are there.

If you can drop over your date's home unannounced, so can all the others. Don't be surprised if he or she goes so far as to invite you to stay or introduces you to his or her other partner. Some cheaters might even suggest a ménage a trios!

Cheaters are busy people and usually don't have time to focus on one person much less his or her needs. Their selfish behavior may result in frequent arguments and possible physical fights. They will also lie to you in order to keep you happy until they are ready to replace you with someone better. Also, do keep in mind that an unwanted pregnancy or an STD may result in this kind of relationship. Lastly, choosing to date a player may be difficult, time-consuming, and nerve racking.

In summary, when dating the cheating, player type, consider the following: this person is usually not in love with anyone, but self, your feelings usually aren't considered and never a priority (unless you have something he or she wants,) and you might fall in love with this person the more you sleep with him or her. If you should fall in love (or lust) know that your feelings (sooner or later) will be crushed by the cheater. Sometimes blatant disrespect may lead to physical violence, so if you know this person (or yourself) has the tendency to overreact and hurt people, avoid the cheater.

By Nicholl McGuire