Dating Advice, Relationship Problems

Where in the rulebook does it say you have to like your partner all the time?  Don't beat yourself up about your personal feelings or let others who may have observed your mood change to guilt you.  When a mate isn't giving you much reason to like or even love him or her lately it's okay.  Simply find ways to either rekindle positive emotions, communicate concerns, distance yourself for a time (absence makes the heart grow fonder), or use the quiet and space to grow from this difficult season and redirect your attention on the things that matter in your own life rather than pay so much attention on him or her.  Most mature couples reconcile gradually, but those that are seriously thinking about separating or divorcing, they usually never connect in the way they once did.  Sex is a mere bandaid for them, and doesn't satisfy emotionally.  Check yourself, think about what your partner may be going through, and say a prayer for you both.

Whether your status is casual dating or serious relationship, chances are you have your ideas of what you want in a mate/lover.  If you already have someone in mind, you might have some theories as to how this person might behave with you in the future.  If your attitude about dating and relationships hasn't been that good for awhile now and you have a long history of being rejected, then most likely your hidden thoughts might not be that positive about your current partner or any others you have in mind. Negative personal opinions and first impressions about people don't go away easily especially for critical individuals who tend to let their egos get out of hand.  Mr. or Ms. "I'm always right about people" is going to be difficult at times to love.  The unsuspecting date or partner just might find out during an emotionally charged dispute what one really thinks about him or her now as well as when he or she first met.  What a terrible way to discover that som

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It can become increasingly difficult to come home when trouble is there.  You wish to be anywhere else than with a partner who is showing all signs that he or she is falling out of love with you.  Some bitter partners resent those keys turning locks while secretly wishing that soon-to-be exes would get gone sooner rather than later. If anyone told you that they have been in worse and "don't worry about it, things get easier..." they obviously have a higher tolerance for upset than you when it comes to his or her own relationship.  Sure, things are easy when you have grown accustomed to the flaws of another human being, but when you aren't in that frame of mind where you are ready to settle with the idea that a partner is wild, crazy, rude, mean, cold, etc. it can be hard to want to stick it out.  In addition, you will have to reach a level of maturity in your relationship that has been long-suffering for years (not months) and be willing to accept the good, bad and

Working singles, career minded moms, busy divorced dads, you name it and someone somewhere on an Internet dating website is too involved with life to connect with people offline, so he or she believes that logging on is much easier to connect with fellow singles than attempting to find someone to date offline.  But the underlying issue remains when it comes to being too busy to do this or that.  It will come back to reveal itself sooner or later in a relationship. For many singles, as well as new couples, they make the time getting to know their love interests, but for how long will they keep the act up?  If you didn't have much time to connect with someone offline, how much time will you have to connect online and keep connecting long after the first meeting? The issue of busyness has destroyed many relationships.  A couple that once knew how to sit down, look at one another during conversation, and nurture the relationship, eventually burns out.  Then what?  Excuses are made

As much as many of us in current relationships would not want to admit how the past has affected our present and possibly our future, it did.  Whether the past was a bad break up, financial loss, death, or something else, upon careful reflection, we learned that much of our issues to date in a relationship have to do with past decision-making. You might have made a choice that is now costing you much year after year.  You may have assumed that a current partner would be all-too-understanding about an ex-partner and your children, but really isn't, or was okay about how many hours you work daily, but now shows signs he or she is a hindrance to progress.  Whatever the issue, it is a disappointment once you discover that if you don't change certain habits, make necessary adjustments, or do whatever it takes to maintain peace in a relationship that it most likely will come to an end. Sometimes a selection in a mate is detrimental to one's future, because we saw something i

So a lover brought a smile on your face when he or she bought a nice gift and planned a romantic evening.  Flattery makes one feel good and so does a warm meal, but it doesn't mean that a problematic partner is worth staying with just because he or she does a few thoughtful things. Tired of yelling, fighting, and ignoring a mate, a person might choose to take a temporary break from all the madness.  However, this doesn't mean that a dead-end relationship is suddenly headed somewhere.  Some couples deceive themselves into staying long past the expiration date just because they had a short-term honeymoon period. If he was ugly a month ago, chances are he is still that ugly guy just taking a break from acting ugly.  If she had been treating her guy wrongly for a long time, a couple of weeks of being nice to him doesn't mean that things are getting better, especially when she is still talking badly about the guy behind his back.  Temporal happiness is deceitful.  It make

Partners aren't always to blame for relationship issues.  Most often, what you do with your time and the attitude that goes along with it is to blame! - Nicholl McGuire Gone are the days when you and your partner were head over heels in love with one another.  As much as you tried to avoid the boring routines that tend to affect so many relationships, before you knew it, you fell into the trap.  You don't find him or her that interesting, you don't bother to create some time together, and you have little, if anything, to say about your partner that is positive. Three seemingly harmless issues that later become big problems in the relationship are often argued about, ignored sometimes, and wreck havoc on romance. 1.  Job The job is the all-too-important god in the relationship.  Everyone who lives with the one who is making the most money must adhere to the unspoken rules related to the job.  A few of those rules include:  One doesn't ask to do much during the

No money + no intimacy = DRAMA! One might think that things are still the same within one's mind, body and spirit after a job loss, but quite the contrary.  People change when they make a substantial income and people change when they lose it! There are side effects that some couples might experience as a result of one or both having no steady income, but a savings to live on and whatever other money they can get elsewhere. 1.  Irritability. Becoming angry over the littlest of things, one or both begin to dispute over some minor things.  They may act out in public such as ridiculing the other, saying things they don't mean, and treating each other rudely like ignoring a partner when he or she is trying to communicate a thought.  Money is on the mind and the mind is on the money! 2.  Fluctuating sex drive. Today a mate might want sex and then a drought season occurs where there is no sex.  Then a period of having sex followed by another drought.  Meanwhile, one or b

Are you often irritable, moody, and ready to sleep in any room but the one you sleep in with your mate?  It happens.  A date enjoys the company of her mate until he sleeps over.  The sound that comes from his nose and mouth are terrible!  She tries suffocating the annoying sound by placing a pillow over her ears, bumping him in the bed, using headphones, etc.  She suggests every snoring aid known to man and none seem to work.  What is the purpose of such an awful sound coming from what appears to be a gentleman?  What demon lurks within that keeps up noise throughout the night?  He's not a cave man or a devil!  He doesn't need to scare away the lions, tigers, and bears as he sleeps!  What gives!? For many women as the relationship grows older, they get use to their partners' snoring, but when things are relatively new, it takes time.  Talking about the issue will bring awareness, but it won't make change happen overnight.  Frequent reminders and quite possibly repeat

From forgetting to do something that a partner was expecting you would get done to disciplining  children who tend to cause more problems than solutions depending on the season, relationship conflict will happen.  More money, more children, more things, more family, more friends, more activities, more work hours, more of anything, and one day a lover, who didn't normally have an issue with one's partner, will!  Less truly is best if it is an interference in your relating to one another in a positive way!  Being in an intimate relationship will not always be "nice, understanding, better than those other people, or anything else," you thought it might be.  Selecting a mate can be like buying a car, chances are you're dating, engaged or married to a lemon, someone's reject from yesteryear--a real problem!  Sounds harsh?  Well, it's true.  Why do so many singles deceive themselves into thinking that every new face will always be The One--the answer to one

It seems, many obstacles come up after one decides to commit to a relationship for better or for worse.  Exes call, arguments increase, job losses, unanticipated pregnancies, sexually transmitted diseases, toxic relatives and friends--you name it, trouble seems to come out of nowhere!  But can you deal with all that comes with you and someone who claims to love you?  When is enough, enough!? When you are exploding on everyone, but the one who is causing you the most issues. When relatives and friends are warning you almost daily to stop being with the person you are with and start planning an exit. When there is a firestorm of concerns and complaints coming from strangers who can't get to your partner, but they can get to you. When you can't seem to go on and feel like you are going to jump a bridge. When your world is falling a part.  For instance, bills aren't getting paid, an increase in personal health issues, and the needs of yourself or loved ones aren't get

When you find yourself wishing that you could improve upon your existing relationship, be careful because it is only a matter of time that you will start listing everything that is wrong with your mate.  Sometimes it is simply better to let your relationship just be.  So you had an argument the other day that was so bad that the cops should have been called.  Did anyone get physically abused?  If not, what you worried about?  Well, "he might hurt me in the future" or "she is crazy enough to punch my lights out."  Well if it is that serious, well you don't need me to tell you what you should be doing or maybe you should, visit: http:// laboringtoloveanabusivemate.blogspot.com if this describes you.  However, for those of you who just get really loud when you argue and look really crazy, let's talk about the relationship. If your mate is oftentimes bringing out the best in you, then why not stay?  And seriously what do you need to work on in your relations

As we are all social animals, we are bound to have different kinds of relationships with each another. The relationship you share with your parents would be different to the one you share with your spouse and so on. It’s also true to say that these relationships and their importance do change over a period of time. Several reasons can be attributed to this phenomenon. You could individually be going through a personal crisis, professional downslides, and financial worries and so on. All these factors and many others could have played their part in increasing frustration, depression and anxiety levels in you. No wonder then that your relationship goes through ups and downs more often than not. It is up to you to realize this and to sort out the problems. Although, your opinions, beliefs, judgments, preferences and reactions to other people’s voice are a part of your conditioning, they are all caused by none other than yourself. No doubt, they would be have been triggered

Are Your Friends Hurting Your Relationship? Author: Richard Nicastro, Ph.D. You exist within a web of relationships. For instance, if your friend is going through tough times, you may find yourself feeling an emotional heaviness throughout the day, thinking and worrying about your friend. As this colors your mood, your partner may start to notice that lately you've been preoccupied and down. Since emotions are contagious, this will impact your partner in some way and her/his interactions with others may now be different as a result of what your friend shared with you. How is this relevant to your marriage or relationship? Your relationship exists within a larger social context, and your friends, coworkers, family, and even the society in which you live can directly or indirectly impact your relationship. Think of your relationship as one link on a never-ending chain of connectedness. This was evident with two couples I recently coached: A brief story of relationship isolation: Tad

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People define cheating differently. Some people define it as an emotional act as well as a physical act and others just define it as a physical act. That topic alone can cause some issues in a relationship if both parties define cheating differently. So, in order to eliminate obstacles that may later come into play it's always best to make certain you know how the other person in the relationship defines something like that. Although it's not pertinent that couples are exactly alike, there are obviously some important areas in a relationship which help uplift it rather than hinder it. And this type of topic can be one of those things. Truthfully, I believe that it's difficult to keep the romance alive and a relationship on a positive note if you're unable to work in unity with your spouse. Especially if one of you defines cheating in one way and the other defines cheating in another way. Usually, physical cheating is what we all refer to as cheating. It's a general