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The Best Dating Advice - singles, friends

Improve Your Online Dating Experiences, Prepare for What is Ahead

Let's face it, our Internet connections are technologically induced as well as the emotions that result. Images are altered to impress. Words are specially selected to persuade us to "choose me," chat and make an appointment to see a potential partner. Dating preferences are sometimes embellished to lure you in and keep you captivated. E-mail, text, and video stories are at times are vague, inaccurate or insulting. The voice on the other end of the phone or via video chat is controlled as well as behaviors. A stranger is careful not to irritate you or send you running. Most likely, these potential dates recall the arguments they had with exes and the barrage of insults they endured that revealed their weaknesses prior to connecting with you. Therefore, they know what to do to hide flaws so that they can attract new mates before the unsuspecting are on to their games.

So if you feel a tad bit tricked or cheated when it comes to online dating, you have been. There is only so much that one can do online as compared to offline. There are still many things about a person's body language, spirit, and demeanor that can be quite different when you see them face-to-face and spend much time with dates.

A young man approaches the computer screen eager to meet a woman who will give him some time, affection and possibly add benefits to his flourishing lifestyle. He joins an online dating website, fills out forms, answers survey questions, uploads his photo, and familiarizes himself with ice breakers and other features so that he is well-prepared and comfortable to generate conversation in the near future with the lovely ladies online. The bachelor doesn't pay too much attention to a dating websites rules and isn't the least bit interested in paying for any additional services. He just wants a companion. 

When it comes to meeting that special someone we don't always get what we ordered from the Internet as you will read in a later chapter. Yet, those emotions we experienced that swept us away from a mere computer screen projecting an image of someone that may or may not be real, feel so genuine.

As time goes on, this same young man, as described earlier, will grow weary of the dating pool on one site, and contemplate on joining another and another and may even pay to get better service. The longer he sticks it out using dating websites and apps the chances he will meet more than just a companion. Possibly a character created from one's fantasy world like a model or a special design (autobot). The longing man talks with anyone or thing in the hopes that what he hopes is human won't let him down in the short or long term.

Speaking of bots (fake profiles built to enhance communication to build revenue for the dating site) daters find out sooner or later on many of the money-grabbing sites that they have been hooked into nothing more than an altered reality. They speak about their experiences in reviews. The bot will never lead to anything offline. However, some gullible members of these dating sites will keep on talking anyway being entertained by hot, imaginary friends.

The opportunists are out there in dating world and they aren't much interested in meeting someone as much as getting specific needs met. You will read about their agendas and possibly your own in the next chapter. In addition, you will find thoughts, experiences and more about Internet dating and why one will need to put the brakes on some things if you are just getting started or know someone who is in the online dating arena. Read about the pitfalls as well that some find themselves in because they started off looking to meet someone on the Internet for all the wrong reasons. When it is all said and done, you will have come away from reading this book understanding fully why it is so essential to take it slow when dating.

Want to read more?  Too Much Too Soon Internet Dating Blues by Nicholl McGuire is now available on Barnes & Noble online.

Dating Blues - Why Bother with Dating at this Time?

Over and over again a single woman is let down by a date. She swipes, scrolls, and taps looking for her next encounter that will make her forget about her last unsuccessful meeting. But to no avail, he seems to be more problematic than the previous male that caught her eye.

A single man finally decides to make arrangements to date again only to find out the dating scene hasn’t changed much. He is often disappointed with what appears to look good on a dating profile but falls flat once seen in person.

What is the problem with these two as well as many other hopeful singles? There is no single answer and with every online or offline exchange with a fellow single, you just can’t avoid the things you simply don’t like about people. It goes back to what I mentioned in a previous blog entry some years back, you have to accept the bitter with the sweet, the cons with the pros, if you are determined to make things work with someone.

I recall setting my standards both high and low and the outcome was the same, I still couldn’t connect with guys in the way that I wanted. When I found more strengths than weaknesses with a couple guys, those encounters led to marriages. As I learned more about myself and heard others’ dating experiences, I realized that many folks I talked to were either looking at all that was right or all that was wrong with their partners. You don’t get anywhere you want to go in a relationship when there is no balance on emotions, work, money, or anything else. Throw in the “all or nothing” concept when in a relationship with someone and that doesn’t seem to go over too well either. It starts to feel more like an ultimatum, a concrete rule that no one can live up to. 

“Now you want me to give you something that I’m not quite ready to give. Rather than ease into a relationship, you want me to be all things to you based on a list you conjured up in your mind, right?” says the one who feels like he or she has been backed up against a wall by a needy single.

If you know that you are just not doing good dating others on or offline, try giving yourself a long break.  Not the kind of break that lasts days, but how about months or yes, even years. There is nothing wrong with not looking for someone. It is usually when you are not seeking a partner that a good friend shows up in your life when you least expect it.

As much as some of you would love to meet Mr. Right or Ms. Right like right now, you will get out of the connection only what you are willing to put in and for many singles they are not finding anything more than sex. In time the sexual encounters lead to burnout and boredom, think about this, you meet the guy or gal of your dreams and you can’t deliver emotionally or physically in a way that they deserve. Take the long break and learn more about you and what you need rather than what you want as well as what weaknesses you are willing to tolerate in others.

Nicholl McGuire is the owner and manager of this blog.

Dating Apps and Websites Worth Checking Out for Singles

You are already familiar with most popular dating apps like: Tinder, Bumble, Match, Happn, and others, but there are apps around the world in and out of this country that are growing.  If you wish to try something new, you  might want to take a look at the following.

RSVP - Australia’s largest online dating service with new members every day and couples with success stories.

Single.de - German dating website that is free and fast to register.  It may be used via smart phone too.

Meetic - French dating mobile app with many available singles.  Check out photos, like, make a connection, view profiles, and more.

Appetence - known for being one of the dating apps that encourages singles to “take it slow.”  This slow matchmaking app allows users to decide when to display their profiles to those they may be interested in dating. People are connected when they have similar interests, hobbies, etc.

LDS Planet - dating site is free to sign up and browse.  Simple to use but you can’t check out dating site without registering first.

Hotline.dating - this dating app forces potential matches to call one another.  There is a reasonable monthly fee to use.  The app is designed for those who have trouble connecting in their community and aren’t doing so well with other dating sites.  It is only available via the App Store at this time.

Bristlr - a dating app that connects people with beards with those who want to stroke them.  Straightforward and to the point.  Enough said.  Available in the App Store and Google Play.

Paktor - this is a popular Asian dating social app.  Similar to dating apps where you view faces that you like and others that you pass on.  If someone likes you back, you have a match.  Name, age, body measurements and profession are seen below photo along with description.

OasisDating - a dating website with a large dating pool in the U.S. for people looking for romance, love or friendship.

Be safe using dating apps and check question and answer sections of the apps for any hidden fees or if you have problems.  Happy Dating!

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