From Valentines Day to birthdays, buying your mate things will not help your relationship blues that only go into hiding temporarily only to come out worse after all the half-hearted smiles and laughs dissipate. By spring, you will notice how strange it seems that so many couples will be announcing breakups on and off television. "But they seemed so happy around Christmas and then when I saw them after Valentines Day..." looks can be deceiving. But enough about them, what about you?
Don't make the same mistakes, putting a band-aid on a bleeding heart just because it is a holiday. Avoid the temptation to fix things in your relationship by putting a ring on them (this goes for women too who think they are getting a ring because Beyonce subliminally programmed you during Superbowl 45) or ignoring them like some of you do when your mate criticizes you about what you are and aren't doing in the relationship. And definitely don't say, "I do" to anything from making a baby to freaky sex when you really mean, "I don't..." just because you think you can keep your man or woman interested in you awhile longer. Instead, he or she will start to resent you and might leave you with the baby and the freaky costume next year.
So many couples just settle in relationships knowing full well they aren't even a least bit interested in their mates outside of the bedroom. Why? Because the ideas of being alone or starting over with someone else leaves them feeling miserable, so they just throw in the towel.
Using holidays such as Christmas, New Years and Valentines Day to start over work well for those couples who are getting back together and 100% committed to building a lasting relationship. However, these events will do nothing for those who do the following: frequently argue, rarely celebrate holidays, have a McDonald's income but have caviar taste, and don't believe in their relationships any longer and often wish to be with anyone else but the person in front of them.
Opting out of the holiday celebrations, saving money, and focusing your attention on your relationship ills and whether or not you can tolerate them any longer is what works best in both the short and long term. Then you create an action plan to execute for
any time of the year rather than centered around what the government tells you is a holiday.
Maybe you don't know how you really feel about a date, revisit that topic next month and create your own holiday. But whatever you do, be sure you explain why you feel the way you do if you are the one who just doesn't "feel" the holiday celebrating with one who does.
If you are too late, already bought the ring, the roses, the candies, the gifts, etc., then down-play what you did or don't show the person anything right now. Moving forward, you might want to be clear that you don't celebrate holidays if you are tired of feeling pressured by everyone and everything, yet have no serious relationship concerns. However, if you do have some major problems, then address those and leave the holiday celebrating out of them.
FYI: Christians, check out articles, videos and blogs on all the pagan holidays and seek God on what you should and shouldn't be doing.
