What Does it Take to Make a Difficult Partner, Friend See the Light?

Whether you are dating this person, kin to him or her, or been with a partner for many years, it can be emotionally challenging dealing with someone who refuses to see the truth about a relative, partner, friend, or themselves.  The person you like/love goes on about his or her way ignoring what you have said or acting meanly toward you because he or she didn't take too well to your feedback.

What is the truth?  You probably shared the kind of statements that convicted a partner or friend mentally, physically or spiritually and he or she doesn't like you too much because of it.  Truth brings you to an awakening, a realization that someone who you once worshiped, admired, respected, and more has something about him or her that is twisted, emotionally toxic, or physically controlling. 

People who are in like or love with someone never want to see the light.  So what does it take to make a person see truth and walk in it?  Sometimes it takes distancing one's self from the troubled individual and moving on with your life.  He or she will see truth when there is no distraction and when pain becomes much more frequent than pleasure.

I recall a time in my life that no matter what relatives and friends said about someone I was with, I refused to see anything wrong with him or her.  I was emotionally and physically entwined.  The man touched me in ways that others didn't.  I felt he was there for me and was genuinely concerned about me, but boy was I wrong!  Read Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate. 

Once we discover that someone is no longer listening to wise counsel and rather proceed ahead in misery, it is always best to safeguard our hearts during the process.  When we allow the individual and all that is connected to him or her to negatively impact us, we become caught up in their web of mess.  Do you want that?  Some well-meaning advisers wear their hearts on their sleeves and when they do that they also reap much.  They become verbal and/or physical punching bags.  Others find their money and time repeatedly wasted on someone who isn't the least bit interested in changing his or her evil ways.  Who has time for that?

Nicholl McGuire is the blog owner and author of many books including: When Mothers Cry, Tell Me Mother You're Sorry, and Laboring to Love Myself.

Are You In Denial that Your Man or Woman is Controlling, Manipulative?

 

Sometime back, I posted this video from my YouTube channel: nmenterprise7 and I asked my listeners were they in love or in manipulation?  Are you?  There are those times in our dating experiences or relationship struggles that we may find ourselves being manipulated or controlled by a partner without knowing.  You may be the one who is trying to wake up a relative or good friend, but he or she isn't listening.

 

 

When one is in love with a controlling or manipulative person, he or she is not going to see the truth until the relationship begins to spiral downward, it is then that this person will start to talk back to her partner, argue, or complain to relatives and friends about him or her.  When you know you are guilty of doing and saying things to make your partner go where you want to go, say what you want him or her to say, and perform in ways that you know really aren't a part of one's personality, upbringing, culture, etc.  Then you must step back from the relationship, look at it from the outside in, and ask yourself, "Am I doing these things?  Then immediately start seeking ways to stop persuading, suggesting, conning, and threatening your partner to perform your will when you know he or she doesn't really want to.

 

As for those in relationships where you feel like the world revolves around your partner, it is time to build a life that doesn't always include your partner.  Start watching TV shows alone, be busy with your own projects, avoid being so available to your partner everytime he/she wants you to do something, visit places you always wanted to see but your partner wouldn't let you, and cook, clean, and errand-run without relying on your partner so much or doing all these things so often for your partner.  Take a moment and think about what you have done or not done to permit someone to rule you.

 

Too often men and women in relationships get too comfortable with one another and create expectations for one each other that will not always be adhered to.  For example, a partner will forget to do some things for you it doesn't mean that it is the end of the world. Acting independently at times doesn't mean you will always stay that way, but you need to empower yourself and live the kind of life that is not making you or your partner miserable.

 

Nicholl is the author of When Mothers Cry and other books.