Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate: The Guilt-ridden, Ashamed Abusive Spouse
Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate: The Guilt-ridden, Ashamed Abusive Spouse: For every striking blow, curse word spoken, and silent treatment tactic used, a guilt-ridden and ashamed filled spouse will reap what he or ...
Sex That's All You Might Have in Common with a Partner
It happens, you end up with a partner that doesn't have too much to say outside of flirting, suggestions to have sex, and intimate talk about the next time you will have sex (sigh). Doesn't this guy or gal know something more than sex?
When you don't have much in common but sex, it can be a challenge to have a quality relationship that goes the distance. Think of those moments you really hit it off with someone, you did more than talk and have sex didn't you?
You fool yourself into thinking that there will be more in the future to discover about this person. Usually whatever "more" is it just isn't as exciting and fun when your mind is programmed to say and do sexy things most often with this individual.
Find other things to think about and test this person on what he or she really wants from you besides sex. Ask about personal interests outside the bedroom that inspire him or her to live his or her best life now. Suggest places to see and recreational things to do together that don't involve heavy petting or sex like visiting an arcade, rock wall climbing, checking out a museum, touring a community, playing a sport, attending a concert, etc.
You just might be disappointed about what you will learn about the person like he or she really isn't your ideal match for starters especially when he or she repeatedly turns down your suggestions. It is better to know sooner rather than later that the only thing you two have is sex in common.
Nicholl McGuire is the author of Too Much, Too Soon Internet Dating Blues and other books.
When you don't have much in common but sex, it can be a challenge to have a quality relationship that goes the distance. Think of those moments you really hit it off with someone, you did more than talk and have sex didn't you?
You fool yourself into thinking that there will be more in the future to discover about this person. Usually whatever "more" is it just isn't as exciting and fun when your mind is programmed to say and do sexy things most often with this individual.
Find other things to think about and test this person on what he or she really wants from you besides sex. Ask about personal interests outside the bedroom that inspire him or her to live his or her best life now. Suggest places to see and recreational things to do together that don't involve heavy petting or sex like visiting an arcade, rock wall climbing, checking out a museum, touring a community, playing a sport, attending a concert, etc.
You just might be disappointed about what you will learn about the person like he or she really isn't your ideal match for starters especially when he or she repeatedly turns down your suggestions. It is better to know sooner rather than later that the only thing you two have is sex in common.
Nicholl McGuire is the author of Too Much, Too Soon Internet Dating Blues and other books.
The Stress of Dating Someone Who is Stressed - family, tragedy, money woes, life
It can be quite stressful dating someone who is stressed about any number of things on any given day. Whether it is family concerns, a money problem, unruly children, or a crazy ex, your date's troubles can rub off on you!
No matter what the issue someone else is facing, you don't need to let their problems consume you. You are empathetic, but you have a life. You are sorry that they are going through much and offer assistance, but you know you can't afford to lose it too or go broke. Life goes on, there are highs and lows and hopefully your date will rise above his or her blues, but maybe not.
Now if your date is using the time you spend together to vent, allow him or her to do just that, but also provide suggestions that will help your date calm down a bit. From a favorite drink to a nice massage, think of ways to help him or her relax. You will discover what type of person you are connecting with by the way he or she responds or doesn't to your efforts. A moody, troubled, or difficult personality will draw you into some kind of crazy-making battle that makes no logical sense, distance yourself from that type--it only gets worse!
You might change the subject after listening to your date's long rant in a gentle way and ask what might uplift his or her mood a bit if you have no clue what else to say or do. If all else fails, give your date some space. Let him or her know that you care, but the time might be better spent in peace and quiet. Excuse yourself and spend the needed time alone unwinding. Remember you have a life!
The more you learn about a date, the more you can determine whether he or she will be a good partner even during tough times. Can he or she mentally keep it together? If not, well there is always more fish in the sea if you know you can't deal with all the baggage that comes with someone. Choose your partner wisely.
Nicholl McGuire author of She's Crazy, Too Much Too Soon Internet Dating Blues and Socially Sweet, Privately Cruel Abusive Men.
No matter what the issue someone else is facing, you don't need to let their problems consume you. You are empathetic, but you have a life. You are sorry that they are going through much and offer assistance, but you know you can't afford to lose it too or go broke. Life goes on, there are highs and lows and hopefully your date will rise above his or her blues, but maybe not.
Now if your date is using the time you spend together to vent, allow him or her to do just that, but also provide suggestions that will help your date calm down a bit. From a favorite drink to a nice massage, think of ways to help him or her relax. You will discover what type of person you are connecting with by the way he or she responds or doesn't to your efforts. A moody, troubled, or difficult personality will draw you into some kind of crazy-making battle that makes no logical sense, distance yourself from that type--it only gets worse!
You might change the subject after listening to your date's long rant in a gentle way and ask what might uplift his or her mood a bit if you have no clue what else to say or do. If all else fails, give your date some space. Let him or her know that you care, but the time might be better spent in peace and quiet. Excuse yourself and spend the needed time alone unwinding. Remember you have a life!
The more you learn about a date, the more you can determine whether he or she will be a good partner even during tough times. Can he or she mentally keep it together? If not, well there is always more fish in the sea if you know you can't deal with all the baggage that comes with someone. Choose your partner wisely.
Nicholl McGuire author of She's Crazy, Too Much Too Soon Internet Dating Blues and Socially Sweet, Privately Cruel Abusive Men.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
-
So you haven’t been in a relationship that long and you are already being accused of cheating when you know you haven’t. Chances are you ar...
-
Ever find yourself dating the same type of person over and over, only to end up frustrated, heartbroken, or completely drained? Maybe you’ve...
She's Crazy by Nicholl McGuire
Dating or married to an angry woman?