He Doesn’t Show Any Interest in Me
You are a talented, beautiful woman who has been told by many people that you are going places and doing great things. But your husband doesn’t see your attributes anymore. Out of all the compliments and praises from well-meaning people, your husband’s words would mean the most is if he could say something without you having to pull teeth! So how do you get him to act interested in you and what you do?
Change your appearance.
You may have wondered why women who have suddenly broke free from problematic relationships, do something drastic with their appearance. They do that because it is a sign to the world that they are free to be who they want to be. Maybe their ex loved their long hair, she rebels and cuts it. She may have changed her appearance in the relationship just to suit him. Now she wants to find who she is again without him. You can do the same without breaking up with your mate. Send him a message that up underneath the hair scarf, baggy t-shirt, and jogging pants is a curly perm wearing, thong modeling, sexy superstar! Even if this only gets his attention for that moment, it’s a start.
Go places without him, the children or your relatives.
If you routinely go places with him and the children in tote, change your routine. Maybe take one child one day rather than both, then on another day only you leave the house and so on. Sometimes predictiability becomes boring with a man, surprise him! It also keeps him on his toes wondering what you are doing. When you come back have a gift in hand for him, share with him your experience then invite him on the next trip.
Do something different.
People not only have hobbies or create projects for themselves simply because they love them. They create these things to do because they also want to appear interesting to the world. People enjoy being around interesting people. We are fascinated by celebrities because they represent a part of ourselves that we are either too afraid, too politically correct, too religious, too this or too that to tap into. When you decide to come out of your comfort zone and do something positive for yourself and others, your partner will be curious about you and may even want to be a part of this new world that you have created for yourself.
Find the time to get the things on your “to do” list done.
Sometimes thgere are projects that need to be done in the household individually or as a group. The quickest way to get everyone’s attention off of one another in your household and distract them from their activities outside the home is to start projects that everyone’s input is needed. Whether it is planning a trip or cleaning out the garage, it’s time to call a family meeting and include your partner in on what is needed for the home.
Plan an event and invite your family and his.
You didn’t get married alone or tell everyone he was your partner without him agreeing to it, so why not get everyone to come over for a family gathering to reconnect. They all got together to celebrate your marriage, why not invite them to your anniversary? When was the last time you celebrated your birthday or his? Sometimes when you preoccupy yourself with other people besides your spouse, it will remind you of why we should count our blessings every day.
Work longer hours.
How one spends and saves money in a relationship tends to be a popular conversation. Maybe your biggest issue with your spouse is how you spend money, if so, you may have to work longer hours or get a second job if you aren’t willing to cut back. Your absence may be missed and he may start paying more attention to you when you are around.
Buy new things for the home.
Sometimes money isn’t a problem in a relationship, but the lack of things is. The household may be falling apart and a little organizing and decorating may cheer everyone up. Why not sit down and discuss with him how you intend to enhance the household and would like his input. Be sure that you have a plan on where you would like to shop and how much you would like to spend.
Meet new people and introduce them to your husband.
You may need new friendships in your life. Sometimes the old ones can be energy sapping, leaving you with no energy for your man. When you have new friendships, they may enlighten you and challenge you to think about ways to better yourself. When your mate sees you are making great strides to change mentally, physically, and spiritually it may cause him to rethink the way he has been treating you and he may start to feel jealous which is a good sign that he still wants to be a part of your life.
Start attending meetings in your community, joining organizations, and volunteering.
When you show a genuine care for others that you didn’t ordinarily have, your mate can’t help but wonder what has come over you! Allowing yourself to experience more with others makes you not only more exciting to be around, but will also be an asset to your partner if he should ever need to change careers.
If yo haven’t typically read books, now would be a good time to start! Your partner will want ot know what you are reading and may also be envious. They know that whatever you are reading at some point they will see the results manifest in your life. Whether you choose to sign up for a college or trade school, just know that you will get his attention. He may become nervous thinking that at some point you will get your degree and move on without him. He may discourage you if he doesn’t have his life together. He may commend you , because he knows that if you obtain more knowledge, the possibility of you bringing home more money is inevitable!
When you have those feelings that he doesn’t seem to be interested in you, remember to shift your thoughts from him to yourself. What can you do to make yourself more interesting to you and anyone you may come in contact with. Sometimes women make the mistake of allowing themselves to be like planet earth revolving around the sun and making the sun their partners. When the sun isn’t shining on your world, don’t be miserable, find sunshine in the walk you take without him and the book you read around him.
By Nicholl McGuire