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When a Date is a Reader and You’re Not

There is something about reading books that makes this bachelor cringe, but the woman in front of him is so attractive and lately he hasn’t had much luck finding a great match.  The book she holds in her hand is a turn-off.  He encourages her to do something else as she heads by the pool to read once again.  The reader thought it would be a good idea since the couple saw and did a lot earlier from dining out to watching a sporting event.

Once again, her date tries to entertain her and even throws a negative comment about her book selection, “I can’t believe people read that garbage, ha!”  Put-off by her date’s comment, she ignores him for hours.

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If books turns you off as much as the gentleman in the previous example, then don’t consider dating a reader.  People who enjoy books also are very knowledgeable about many subjects and like conversing about a wide variety of topics.  They also are open to taking additional classes to better them personally and professionally.  They may be prone to attend book fairs, libraries and special book related events like a live book reading.  If they write, they may want much time alone to prepare their work for publishing.

People who are often annoying to book readers are: those who don’t like books, people who are chatty and not respectful of one’s time and space, and ignorant people who prefer opinions over facts.  When you are not mindful of a person’s interest and prefer to be critical, you put yourself at odds with the book reader.  Consider one who enjoys sports immensely, if he was paired with someone who hates sports and was often critical of his sports watching, they wouldn’t get along.  This isn’t to say that book readers and those who don’t read books would have a bad relationship, but it would suffer because someone is not respecting the other’s interest.

Keep opinions about what someone is reading to yourself unless they ask.  Don’t assume anything about a book unless you read it from cover-to-cover not judging it based on condensed notes and reviews.  Be open to attending some of those events a date likes--never shut out all interests completely, you never know what you might learn and grow from.  Most of all, if you should want to date or continue to date someone who likes books, be sure you busy yourself while the books are open.  Be polite and respectful and ask when the book reader is available to reconnect.  If you want a peaceful partnership, consider the interests of another.

Nicholl McGuire is the author of Laboring to Love Myself and other books.  She is an inspirational speaker and shares faith-based advice here: NM Enterprise 7 on YouTube.