7 Dumb Dater Signs We Ignore

Are you a dumb dater? Of course, you would say no to this question, because you consider yourself pretty knowledgeable about dating, but what if I told you that after reading this you just might realize that you aren’t as smart as you think you are especially if you are still dating someone you know you should have dismissed a long time ago. So what is it that you should be listening for in your date’s conversation that will quickly eliminate them from being in a future relationship with you? The following is a list of issues that you should be alert to when conversing with your date. Hopefully, he or she will be open and honest with you so that you don’t have to spend any more time or money than you need to on a relationship you know will not go anywhere including between the sheets!


One. Dumb daters ignore money issues.

A person who talks often about saving money, investing money, or anything related to money and doesn’t work with money is someone you may want to watch closely. Is he or she a big spender, cheap skate, unemployed, or low income? People who sincerely are doing well with their finances do not have to brag about it. People who aren’t doing so well can’t get enough of it. Watch how they spend money. There are those who overspend and those who will buy the cheapest thing they can afford. Research the job title they give you to find out approximately how much they are bringing in each month. If they mention they recently graduated from college or had problems with financial aid, chances are they are paying back student loans or are in default. Relatives may help them then again they may not. Notice what they say about their relatives when it comes to money matters. If they become angry talking about their lack of support, then you know they aren’t getting too much from them and may look to you to support them if they aren’t doing so well.

Two. Dumb daters ignore substance abuse.

Alcohol and drug abuse run in families. Sometimes it may start with a great grandfather, then a grandfather, skip his son, but fall on his son’s son. When your date shares with you that she absolutely loves to drink or your male date says he loves to party, this should be a red flag for you. Start paying close attention to how much your date drinks and how the alcohol (or drugs) takes an effect on them. Some people take prescribed medicines. Notice their behavior before and after they take their medicine. There are those people who enjoy using recreational drugs, but may hide their addiction. Pay attention to red eyes, unpleasant scents on their clothing, scars on arms, burn marks on the tips of their fingers, constant touching of one’s nose, jittery movements, scratching, and other strange behaviors.

Three. Dumb daters ignore verbal/emotional abuse.

Name-calling, whether cute or insulting, isn’t necessary when you are first meeting someone. However, some people will do just that and usually if they feel comfortable enough to call you these names, they may also feel open to call you a few more. Watch how this person describes the servers at the restaurant, people along the street, his or her exs, and family and friends. If they can talk about these people in such a negative way, then think about what they may say about you.

Now some people are sensitive about everything a person says to them whether they disagree, point out a flaw, or look at them wrong. These sensitive people may resort to the silent treatment. They pout, act distant, don’t want to participate in activities, or may even walk away from you while you are talking, imagine what a future would look like with this person?

Four. Dumb daters ignore physical abuse.

A date may have been irritated by something his or her partner said then as the date progressed became angry because he or she misunderstood a statement. They argue. Before long there is a shoving match maybe a few punches thrown and some things are broken. No matter how apologetic these two maybe with one another, chances are they will become violent again with one another. Some people will reason, “Well if I had never said…or if I would have…he or she would have never reacted that way.” Violent people have problems with controlling their anger and it doesn’t matter what a person says or does, this violent tempered man or woman sincerely needs professional help. The best thing you can do for your own mental sanity is keep away!

Five. Dumb daters ignore insecurities.

As you start seeing your new date more often, he or she may question, "Who was that and where were you?" quite frequently. Some people will dismiss this behavior as if their date "just wants to know the details of my day because they love me." The problem with this kind of thinking is that it blinds people from seeing the insecurities that their date is experiencing. They may have come from a relationship where a lot of cheating was involved. They may have problems trusting the opposite sex because of past abuse. Whatever their insecurity, don’t take it lightly, because without help their insecurity will be coming along for the journey into your new relationship.

Six. Dumb daters ignore age differences.

Some older men and women have a sickness that everyone seems to know about but them. There are fears of death, desires to have fun, sexual fantasies with younger men or women, and other issues that are all related to hormones that are completely out of whack! When two people know they don’t have much in common they usually move on, but there are some older men that will refuse to move on and keep their younger companion on their arm with money and material things. There are older women who will do the same. Daters must look to the future to see the bigger picture. Can you honestly see a life with someone who is more fit, attractive and virile than you being faithful? What if he or she wants children? How will your family receive this individual? Will you stand up for your relationship when it’s being tested?

Seven. Dumb daters ignore talk about their partner’s family, friends, and exs.

He or she tells you how close they are to their family; right away all red flags should go up! Some people will assume that “This is great because this means that they will one day be equally as close to me!” Not necessarily all this says is that every move you make will be discussed with the family, you will need to be open to the family visiting and you attending family events, and most of all you will probably have to share your date a lot with the family. You will most likely hear plenty of stories about the family as well and at times may be the peacemaker when dealing with the family. Notice how much family is mentioned in this short paragraph that’s about how much influence the family will have on your staying or going.

Daters also overlook their date’s friends. When a person talks about spending lots of time with their friends it may seem like it’s a great thing initially, but that also tells you that if you were to move in with this person one day, he or she may not compromise when it comes to him or her spending time with friends. So you will need to ask your date a very important question regarding family and friends, “How close is close?”

Some people will share on a date how amicable they are with an ex because of a business, children, or some other thing that connects them with the ex. What you will need to do is watch how often they mention the ex, what they look like when talking about the ex, how frequently they see the ex, and what other contact they have with the ex. Also, you will want to watch how the family interacts with you. They may still be communicating with the ex. Some new daters will right away assume that they should make it a competition of sorts and will try to do some things to fit in, don’t bother. Rather, be who you are and if you should ever feel disrespected by family or the ex then express how you feel. If your date doesn’t support you, then he or she may still have feelings for the ex.

Now that you have seven dumb dater signs we tend to ignore when dating, keep these in mind before you set up your next date. Whenever possible spend more time learning about this person over the phone. People are usually more open on the phone. This way you can get down to the bottom of things is this person a keeper or not?

By Nicholl McGuire

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