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Arguing - Nothing You Can Do About It

As long as two people live together with strong views about any and everything, there is nothing neither can do about arguing except try to listen and do what the other wants.

Tempers will flare in any relationship and that is normal.  People will grow cold toward one another.  Some will act violently, while others will take a long walk.  Some people choose the silent treatment.  Although a dispute may start out okay doesn't necessarily mean it will end okay, so a person in a relationship must use wise judgment when defending his or her point of view.

If you think you can be in a relationship with a strong-minded individual and not argue, forget it!  There are those who are strong minds that can be quiet and tune people out, but how long do you think they can get away with that?  Someone somewhere is catching hell because someone in a controlling relationship simply doesn't know how to vent in a healthy way that gets his or her partner to listen.  Meanwhile, the partner is a h…

Is There Anyone Who Loves You More than the One Who Does Right Now?

Sometimes you will dislike your partner, even wish you never met him or her.  But, you have to ask yourself, is there anyone who will love you more than this person does right now (besides God and parents of course.)  The answer is, "No."  You might say, but what about this...or what about that..?  Love takes time.  Are you patient enough and determined to make love work the second, third, fourth or even fifth time or more again with this one or someone different? 

We might assume because someone else (that one who keeps looking at you at the workplace or the friendly girl down the street) who wishes to be a part of your life is Mr. Right or Ms. Right,  but don't be so sure. 

Love isn't about who makes you tingle inside and makes you feel 10 years younger as I'm sure you have already learned the hard way.  Love is far more deeper than that!  We should think, that maybe just maybe, the reason why the person who is currently in your life sticks around is because …

Thoughts on Reconciliation

Looking at the sheer number of people who break up and vow to never go back to an old flame, it seems that there just isn't any hope for couples who desire to reconcile.  Could it be that many of these "break up to make up" type of relationships end up not lasting unto death, simply because people are too caught up with the warm, fuzzy feelings that come with getting back together?

I decided to interview myself on this issue of reconciliation since I have been there and done that many times.  During my quiet meditation, I believe I had heard some of the wisest words in a long time from my Creator which many of you are already familiar.  I suggest you go to the Holy Bible and look up I Corinthians 13 and read about love.  He asked me to ask myself, "Can I be patient?  Can I be kind?   Can I no longer keep record of wrongs?"  How I felt about these questions and the way I answered them said a lot to me about reconciling with my past.

You see, all it takes is a re…

Something to think about...Be Nice to Your Mate

When you find yourself wishing that you could improve upon your existing relationship, be careful because it is only a matter of time that you will start listing everything that is wrong with your mate. 

Sometimes it is simply better to let your relationship just be.  So you had an argument the other day that was so bad that the cops should have been called.  Did anyone get physically abused?  If not, what you worried about?  Well, "he might hurt me in the future" or "she is crazy enough to punch my lights out."  Well if it is that serious, well you don't need me to tell you what you should be doing or maybe you should, visit: http:// laboringtoloveanabusivemate.blogspot.com if this describes you.  However, for those of you who just get really loud when you argue and look really crazy, let's talk about the relationship.

If your mate is oftentimes bringing out the best in you, then why not stay?  And seriously what do you need to work on in your relationship…

Break Up Withdrawal

If you have ended a relationship recently with someone, then you should know exactly what the title of this entry means, "Break Up Withdrawal."  Like a drug addict trying to sober up, a person who has recently broken up with someone is going to go through withdrawal. 

There are the stomach, head and chest aches whenever you think of this person or hear his or her name.  You may also experience mood swings that make you angry one minute and sad the next.  There is usually a strong desire to be with him or her, but after a lengthy discussion one realizes that his or her decision to let go was best. 

You will miss your ex and at times will go over in your head the events that led to your break up.  At times, you think he or she is the worst person in the world and may tell everyone so via phone, poetry, music, or counseling, but secretly you know he or she isn't that bad. 

You might surprisingly think about an ex from long ago and want to reconnect, because you desire a spa…

Don't Let the Romantic Couple Fool You

I know it's hard right now for some couples in roller-coaster type relationships--up today and down tomorrow.  They are at their wits end with a partner who just isn't fulfilling a need, listening, showing affection, etc.  So your eyes start wandering, seeking couples out who appear to be in love.  You wish the nice-looking couple seated on the park bench, talking by the pool, or eating side-by-side at the restaurant were you and yours.  Well I got news for you...

Don't be jealous!  Don't want what they have!  I tell you it's short-lived and most always isn't what it appears to be behind closed doors no matter what they tell you!  Some people love to create false fronts, so that those around them will say, "What a great couple!  I wish that were me and..."  These romantic couples believe that if they can create an image of "happy" and "in love" that it will help their relationship and in some cases it might.  However, for some relat…

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He is Never There for Me When I Need Him Most

Have you ever felt like your husband or partner just doesn’t seem to understand what his role in your life is supposed to be? You have explained to him many times how you feel about him and how you want him to be pro-active in your life, but even with the long speeches, the cries, and the anger outbursts, he still proceeds in the relationship as if he doesn’t care about you or the things that matter to you most like your family and friends.
Every woman in this situation has a choice and the obvious one is you either put up with his nonchalant, insensitive attitude or you tell him goodbye. Why is it that some men behave in this way? The answer is quite simple they don’t understand women and aren’t interested in learning more about them either. A man who truly respects , admires, and most importantly loves his woman is going to do what it takes to make a relationship work. Sometimes he needs her to guide him to the self-improvement book, drive him to the relationship counselor, or walk h…

After Finding Out She's Cheating

So she told him the other day that he wasn't affectionate enough.  He listened to her, then promised he would consider her feelings more and periodically kiss and hug her for no reason, but to say, "I love you." 

Days turned into weeks then weeks turned into months and business continued as usual.  He gave her a list of complaints.  Things like what she was and wasn't doing while never following up with anything that showed he appreciated her actions much less her existence.  He debated about frivolous matters and often ignored her.

One day he found out that he wasn't the only man in her life and that there wasn't just one, but many men in her life.  They all fulfilled a purpose, and for some strange reason, he wondered what role did he play.  The truth of the matter was right before his eyes, his role had been long revoked--he no longer played any role.  His woman had been mustering up the courage to tell him it was over weeks prior, but he found out before…

10 Actions You Do that Make Your Boyfriend or Girlfriend Think You're Cheating

So you haven’t been in a relationship that long and you are already being accused of cheating when you know you haven’t. Chances are you are conducting yourself in a way that is making your partner feel insecure. What could you be doing to make him or her feel that way? Here are some tips.

1) Being extremely private. One can understand in the days of identity theft that you want to be extra careful password protecting your accounts, watching where you leave your cell phone, and locking up your private files, but when a situation comes up where you may need your partner’s assistance or need to share information between one another and you act overprotective with him or her about it, you are giving them a reason to suspect you are up to something whether you are or not. Some couples will share a password only temporarily and then as soon as their partner’s back is turned they change their password. This sends a message that “I don’t trust you. I have something to hide” even though you …

How to Free Yourself from a Dead End Relationship

When you first met your partner you didn’t see him or her as being flawed. Rather, you have seen a human that fulfilled your needs at the moment. For some of you reading this, you had a need for a companion, financial issues to contend with, a bad relationship previously and other circumstances that gave you the motivation to want to start over again in a new relationship. Notice there is no mention of love. Because love usually is not the driving force in relationships that start off in this way. You most likely came to the realization already that love was never what you felt, but an excitement, lust, and just an overall feeling of temporal peace because you now have someone who will lay beside you at night and go to events with you periodically. This may have worked in the past, but now you know it is no good for you.


You tried repeatedly to make things work and he or she gave you the cold shoulder, cursed you, or even worse cheated on you. You forgave them for their misdeeds, but …

6 Reasons Why She Will Leave You So You Best Be Prepared