10 Tips on Catching a Cheating Girlfriend or Boyfriend
You may need to catch your partner cheating for your own peace of mind. You are tired of wondering, wishing, hoping, and waiting for him or her to change back into the prince or princess you once met. So what will you need to do to catch your partner cheating? Well, before you start setting traps, you need to be sure that you want to end your relationship with your partner in the event you find out the truth, because if you aren’t ready, guess what your relationship is going to run into? Another break up to make up scenario! The same kind of relationship you may have been critical about with other couples. You will end up being the one complaining to your friends about your woes with your partner, while everyone is talking about how you are a fool for staying with him or her after he cheated on you. Avoid putting yourself on that emotional merry-go-round of a ride and do what will make you feel happy, free, and peaceful from the start (before you find the evidence.) Don’t be burdened or stressed any longer about where he went or who she is with. Plan what you are going to do in advance before you gather evidence and what you will do once you know the truth. Now let’s get on with the plan of “what to do if” first and then later we will discuss how to catch your cheating partner.
What if you do find out that he or she has been cheating with someone you know? Will you confront this person as well as your partner or will you quietly make an exit?
What if you don’t know the person? Will you make a scene, call the person on the phone, or take up your issues with your mate exclusively?
What happens if you discover the infamous note, a greeting card, email, or text message? What will you do? Immediately confront your partner or wait awhile until you can get plenty of information about the other relationship.
What other outcomes could result if you find he isn’t cheating, but doing something else to cause you worry? What will you do? How you will address each concern before you set your traps?
As for the traps, depending on your situation, you may only need one or two rather than trying to get everything that is out there to catch your cheating spouse.
First, start collecting any and every thing he or she uses or receives outside of the home (if you haven’t done this already). From store receipts to the cell phone bill, don’t leave any stone uncovered, he or she at some point will bring the mess from outside indoors. It may be the following: an unfamiliar scent, an unexplained make up stain, a receipt with a time date stamp that doesn’t match up with a story told about being elsewhere, and a cell phone that has text messages coming in or one that was sent out stating details that don’t add up with a story your partner told you.
People in your community can also be a help. The neighbor or family member that looks at you strange or talks to you in a way that sounds as if he or she is warning you will put you on notice. The bottom line is you need to open up your eyes and start looking at the evidence that is right under your nose rather than being like some who will reason, “She just wants my man, she’s jealous, he always liked my woman.” Never talk yourself out of the truth no matter how you feel about your mate.
What about gifts that seem rather personal and expensive from certain co-workers? They will reveal whether your mate is liked a lot, but can be tricky when trying to determine if he or she is cheating or not, so don’t jump to conclusions. How about a particular co-worker’s name that seems to frequently come up in conversation and your mate doesn’t mind bragging about specific details about the way he or she looks or what they say almost daily? What about the assistant(s) he or she never talks about, but discovers more about him or her from your mate’s other co-workers?
Second, go to those boring work events with your partner. Opting out may keep you out of knowing what is going on. Honest people will drop hints to you about your partner’s activities. He or she may know this and may never invite you to company events. You may want to befriend the receptionist or someone else in the building that your partner works to find out about company holidays and other events. You can go a step further and act as if you are an outside contractor interested in the company to find out about upcoming events, work hours, obtain department head names, and other pertinent information that you may suspect he is lying about.
Third, don’t purchase any tracking devices or hire a private detective if you know that your gut is turning knots whenever your mate is around. That feeling you have will save you lots of money! It’s a clear indication that your partner has strayed! You can save the cash that you would have paid buying all your tricks and used that to move out or take your partner to court if need be. We all have an innate ability to just know things, but some are better in tuned with their bodies than others. Think of past times after sleeping, you had awakened feeling very strange then at some point during the day you heard about a tragedy and you said to yourself, “I knew something bad was going to happen!” Do you remember how you felt before you received the news? That churning gut feeling which never seemed to go away or some other thought or bodily signal. When it comes to pending trouble in a relationship the same thing happens. The fact that you are reading this article is a good indication that your partner is guilty of something.
Fourth, if you must purchase any items, buy the one that you know you will most likely get some solid feedback. Let’s say that he travels a lot then a GPS tracking device might not work, since he is going all over the place every day. But what if he has a pattern of coming home late, a GPS device might help since he may be going to the same place every other night after work. People who cheat develop patterns. They may consistently call from work, but never call anyone in the evening. They may have all conversations away from the home or only when they do certain things like shop for groceries on Saturday or visit the Laundromat every Sunday. Notice they are never at home having conversations. Ask why they never leave their cell phone on when they are around you. Challenge them to answer their cell phone when they are in your presence.
Cheaters may take up a hobby that gets them out of the house, but never comes home right after. You might want to consider purchasing a lie detector that you can use while talking to him or her over the phone. For more on this, search “liar card.” There are also ways to find out the content of his or her email by discovering his or her password. Sometimes you can find out if he or she is chatting online with someone by simply using their computer occasionally. There are pop-up windows from your mate’s friend list that will come up while he or she is logged into their email. You can also type words into Internet search engine windows like “spy software and keystroke tracking” to find out more about his online activity.
Fifth, people who cheat usually expect that their partner’s routines will never change. You can throw your mate off by changing your schedule. You can occasionally pop up on him or her for a lunch date. You can make a point in your schedule to consistently call him or her around the time your mate takes lunch. You can arrive earlier to meet your partner at a location just to see who he or she may be talking to and who might be dropping your mate off. Follow your mate sometimes when you have “that feeling.” Change your plans to go to work one day when you know your mate will be staying at home and see if he or she has any visitors. Call or visit the office unexpectedly when your mate says he or she will be working late. When you tell them one thing, sometimes do something else, vary your routines. When cheaters feel guilty, suddenly you are the topic of conversations. If he or she reverses the conversation on you, reverse it back on him or her and use it to your advantage to upset him or her enough that they will be spilling a few lies you can catch them in or spilling a few truths with the intention of hurting you. That’s what you want – the truth no matter how bad it hurts! A guilty person wants to avoid confrontation at all costs!
Sixth, bring something to the job your mate may have forgotten at home or surprise him or her with something special no matter the time of day. A surprise visit, phone call or gift in the mail here or there has a way of uncovering some things. Leave your name off the tag on gifts and see if your mate will mention what he or she received at work today. If they suspect that you sent the first gift they may say something, but another gift so soon after the first, they may not mention anything assuming that it came from the person they are cheating on you with.
Seventh, don’t be a stranger when it comes to your mate’s family and friends. If they have an event, show up and put on your best face and smile. People love to talk and at some point they will reveal all you need to know about him especially those who don’t like him.
Eighth, put your partner’s face up on your social networking site. You will be surprised at how small the Internet world is. Someone may recognize your mate and send you some information about him or her.
Ninth, pay attention to the time when your mate says he or she is leaving. If he or she goes shopping, notice what your mate brings back when they say, “I am going grocery shopping.” Notice how long your mate is gone. Look at the time stamp on the receipt.
Lastly, sometimes use your mate’s items. Things such as, your mate’s vehicle (check the trunk, under the seats, glove compartment, etc.) a cell phone, the computer (as mentioned earlier), gym bag, and other belongings will uncover lies or reveal the truth. If you find that his or her inbox is squeaky clean and you know that your partner loves to text and his or her computer has very little activity visiting websites on the computer, yet you know your mate uses it a lot, then he or she is covering their activity for a reason. It doesn’t mean that he or she is cheating, but there could be something else going on that they don’t want you to know about. You will have to do some more investigative work to get to the bottom of things.
Now, if you feel you have to go through all of these measures to find your peace before deciding to break up then by all means do what you must. But if you feel it will bring you greater peace not even knowing about the scandalous activities that are going on with your mate, then don’t dig for anything just make a plan to end the relationship without drama. However, if you do break up, don’t go back if you suspect that there was someone else, because once the trust is broken it will take a long time to get it back and sometimes relationships are best worked on when two people are just friends and nothing more.
By Nicholl McGuire