Dating Advice, Relationship Problems

Sometimes you just don't see the public charmer/private abuser coming your way.  The man who appears to be so sweet, nice and friendly during those first meetings ends up being the one who breaks your heart and runs away with all that you value the most.  You didn't anticipate it--you were caught off guard.  But it happens, my friends. So what might we have overlooked in our quest to love and be loved? In my book, Socially Sweet, Privately Cruel Abusive Men , I show you the personalities and schemes of various males (both young and old) and the games they play to get women to trust them during the early dating phase while exposing our weaknesses.  I also share personal stories where I am an observer and a victim of charmers.  This is a truth-telling book, one you won't forget and a must-read if you have a daughter, niece, or female relative who is just getting her feet wet when it comes to ...

Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate: Not Ready to Leave Your Partner Even Though You Kn... : You walked in late one night from hanging out with your friends, may be it was work, or visiting with relatives, "Whatever you were do...

Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate: Emotionally Abused for a Sickness You Can't Help : God permits all sorts of things to happen to us human beings as we age.  Some things we have pills and potions for while others not so much...

There are people in this world that simply could care less about others.  They lie, connive, abuse, and do other things that mentally and/or physically break down others.  They are uncaring and seem to only react when negative things occur to them.  They are unavailable to advise, assist those in need, and would prefer to be alone most of the time.  Although many individuals are aware of how negative they can be when dealing with others, there is still an innate need to want to be loved.  Mean-spirited people associate love with sex and desire "obedient" or "loyal" companions that will do more listening than talking to them. Deceptive lovers dress well or poorly, they can be beautiful or ugly.  They can have many interests or few.  They can be kind at times or ruthless.  Some things they do that drive those they claim to love include: 1.  Accuse you of misunderstanding a story, thought or...

Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate: Is Your Date/Boyfriend/Husband Driving You Crazy? ... : Most women who meet men are seeking to be loved, respected, and protected.  The last thing they want is a man that is troubled or mentally c...

So, you have met someone in a club, in the park or you and him/her were introduced by a friend. You have gone out with that person on a couple of dates and that person seems so perfect, so right! You decide to take this dating to the next level, so you start a relationship with this person. After months of seeing this person, you decide to move in with him/her; next thing you know, you are being abused by that person. You can evade this whole scenario every time you go out on a date and trust that person that you are considering having a serious relationship with. Remember, many people are not honest about who they are until they are in deep in a relationship. Now, you should not be scared when it comes to dating but you should be careful, here are some tips on how to spot an abuser. You can spot an abuser on your first 3-5 dates with that person, as long as you listen correctly. A date is all about knowing a person, not their whole life but at least the most important details and w...

Another opportunity has come to discuss a problem in the relationship, you want to tell your lover how you feel, but you don't want the problem to go unresolved like last time. The last time was one of those times that ended with "You just love to argue, don't you?" It wasn't that you loved to argue, but how many times must you keep on having to bring up problems before your mate gets the point? What will you have to do to get through to them? The following tips will help you make your point whether loud and in their face or quiet and polite. First, try the "we are two reasonable adults" approach. Ask to speak with them a moment and let them know you will only be a minute. Tell them what is on your mind in the most polite way. The best way to describe your tone and demeanor would be like speaking with a sales clerk at your favorite store. "I just need for you to help me with something I have been trying to figure out. When would be a good time...

When a woman first meets a man she doesn't know his upbringing, the company he keeps, what he likes to do in his spare time and most of all whether he has a disease or not. She can only make a determination of the man's character initially by how he looks, his mannerisms, what he says and how he treats her and the people around them. As she becomes increasingly more interested in him, she begins to trust him and will gradually let her "guard down". She will buy him gifts, offer to help him with cooking and housework, impress his family and friends and take part in his interests. While she is growing a fondness for him, he may be ready to have a relationship with her, but struggle with a dark past in the process. What is in this man's dark past that the woman is not aware? For some men, it is a pattern of abusive behaviors toward women. It may have started when he witnessed his mother being beat by his dad, a live-in boyfriend or someone else. There may have been a...

It happened again. You loved someone more than you loved yourself and now rather than this person walking out of your life, suddenly they died. Now of course this is a scenario that hasn't yet happened to most of us, but what if it did happen? What if everything you ever did or said with this person became nothing more than buried six feet deep in the ground? How would you move on? Do we ever really give thought to something so serious when we are enjoying the company of our mate, most likely no, but we should. We need to step back and look at how much of who we are is wrapped up into our mates. For those of you who are spiritual, you know that God has a way of giving and taking away without explanation. So now it is time to reflect and begin to take action that will make us more self-reliant and protective of our hearts. 1. Ask yourself how much time are you spending with this person? 2. What have you gave up to be with this person? 3. What do you do with your free time when this ...

It is hard living by your self at times, watching couples hold hands, kiss, talk intimately, smile warmly at each other on TV and when you are out in public. These reminders are of what you use to have with someone you once loved. The desire to have a mate may come at a time when you are vulnerable with nothing to do or when you are feeling excited, happy about life and would like to share it with someone special. Yet, you made a promise you would give yourself time to get over someone, focus on your goals, build a foundation for yourself or help someone in need. Whatever your reasons, you are still human and no matter how much praying, fasting, or creating distractions you do, the desire to have someone can sometimes be overwhelming. Before you do something foolish like stay up late looking at pornography, go out to a club to pick up someone or call off work to watch erotica movies all day, there are various ways to overcome your desires and get focused again. First, examine what is e...

The following tips will help you with your quest to find someone who is right for you online. 1. When reviewing the photos of people on social networking sites, be sure that you don't pick someone who is seen in all his or her photographs smiling with their mouth closed, wearing a hat, sitting down, wearing an unusual amount of makeup, or standing behind someone or something. This person is obviously trying to cover up their hidden flaws. They may be balding, obese or very short, have terrible looking teeth, covering up birthmarks, freckles or pimples or they may have some kind of handicap. 2. If you should find someone who has done this in all there photographs, ask them in your email to send you a recent photo. Now he or she may not have one, but give them enough time to get one taken. If they are always coming up with an excuse, move on. 3. Don't rush to ask for phone numbers. If you find that you are anxious to speak to this person over the phone, think about why. Is it bec...

The frustration of writing and re-writing a story over and over again until it's just right, putting together a piece of furniture for hours, fixing something broken that can't be fixed, perfectionists can relate. Bawled up papers everywhere and tools strewn around, loved ones visiting your mess while helping you pick up your thoughts off the floor, consoling you with, "Is there anything I can do." Gently rubbing your shoulder, "Why don't you take a break?" You respond, holding back your tears of frustration, "I'm fine, thanks." Memories of trying to stay between the lines of some goofy image you had to color back in elementary school come back to haunt you while sitting on the floor ready to give up. The voice of your parents standing over you, "Now that isn't your best work, try to color nicer. Stay in the lines." No matter how hard you tried, the white spaces never seemed to fill in quite right and crayon lines seem to go o...

They smile at you, appear to be friendly, seem to have it altogether and most of all they seem just a bit too overjoyed to see you as they put their arms around you. Chances are you have felt uneasy around them although they have a bright, beautiful smile on their masked faces. The politician, preacher, mother, friend or foe are masters at wearing masked faces. So what exactly is a "masked face"? It is a front, disguise or a well-rehearsed expression that appears on the face. Underneath it all these faces are crying inside. They are battling with past hurts, resentment, bitterness and anger. "I have to smile," they tell themselves. "Because I don't want the world to see my pain." As we all know, the world isn't kind to emotional people. We are uncomfortable around a man or woman crying. We try to "make light" of situations. We say uncompassionate things like, "Shake it off!" or "It isn't that bad." When in all actu...

Let's face it, it isn't easy getting the woman you want, there is alot of work involved; and then even after the fresh haircut, new wardrobe and some extra cash, things still don't work --it can only mean one thing, back to the drawing board! If you are willing to invest in your look, then you are willing to invest in the education of "How To" get a girl and we aren't talking about freebie tips from the Internet. Visit www.improverelations1.blogspot.com It is at this link you will find some books written by experts skilled in solving relationship issues. Proven strategies that work. So put on your thinking cap and click today! But if you still would like a few freebie tips to get you started finding the woman that is right for you, then do the following, if you haven't already: 1. Revaluate you appearance and body. Oftentimes men are in search of women without a care about their extra belly fat or smelly breath. Ask a close relative or friend what is it ab...

You ever wonder why some people you meet seem to be "out of their right mind" when talking about their relationships with the opposite sex? They tend to laugh often when nothing is funny, say things that make no sense, become extremely anxious over the littlest of things, and their judgment when it comes to relating to the opposite sex seems rather toxic. What is it about these people that make you say, "She's crazy or a little off. He's odd?" In some cases, he or she may be on a prescribed medication, participating in drug use, had a past injury or even a nervous breakdown, but in a not so obvious case, he or she may have had a traumatic break up with a mate they had been head over heels in love. Now some of you reading this would say, breaking up with someone can cause mental issues? Yes it can. The following information will tell you how to spot signs in your own behavior that show you are gradually losing your mind in your current relationship. One - Obs...

Her abusive boyfriend from the past cheated, lied, robbed, raped, abused, and misused her. When you first laid eyes on this gorgeous woman, the last thing you thought was you would be inheriting her wounds from yesteryear. Yet, you did and now you feel at times stuck with both his and her mess. You aren't ready to break up with this woman you love, but you can't see a future with her either. So what do you do about this past baggage that tends to show up on days that you think everything is perfectly okay? The following tips should help you get some peace of mind, reach a decision about the relationship, and help you help her to heal. There is a big difference between a woman who calls herself a victim of domestic violence and one who calls herself a survivor. The survivor most likely has evolved from her experience and shows no signs of having ever been a victim. She has received the support she needed to move on and has taken the necessary changes to live her life to the fu...