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Showing posts from July, 2010

Counseling For Engaged Couples

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Marriage is more than a long term relationship. And counseling for engaged couples is one of the places you first learn that. As long as you take responsibility for the effectiveness of the counseling, you may never find yourself ending this long term relationship called marriage. You can make pre-marital counseling more than something you check off your to do list, turning it into a rite of passage that helps you enter your new adult world of being married. And if this is your second or third time around the wedding vows, you can use pre-marital counseling to make this one last a lifetime!

In this day and age where so many couples have been together for years prior to the wedding day, here are some reasons to take counseling for engaged couples as seriously as you would if you had already been married for years and were going through a significant life change. People do not only seek out counselors with the words, "I need help with my relationship!" Some seek …

Meddling Inlaws

Marriage. A new life together, Just the two of us?
Well so we thought. Too often the meddling in-laws start sticking their nose in or one of the spouses runs home to Mummy and Daddy at the first hint of trouble in the marriage.
Why do you think there are so many In-law jokes, actually there is no relationship that has more jokes attributed to it. These jokes can defiantly be funny, but in reality an in-law to close with no set boundaries is no joke at all and is the cause of all sorts of marriage problems.
When we enter into marriage we have expectations on the various roles each of us will play eg: finances, children, around the home. These sometimes take a bit of ironing out as we go but with good communication a good partnership is formed. Teamwork.
However, In-laws that are too close either emotionally or geographically can impose or push the boundaries too far on their amount of input regarding decisions to be made by the couple. Will they both work, have children,…

Is the "Silent Treatment" a Case of Emotional Abuse?

The silent treatment, also known as the "cold shoulder treatment," consists of feigned apathy, total silence, and being distant on purpose. One person displays an attitude of complete disinterest for the spouse, as if the other person would be a complete stranger.This form of emotional abuse can be very disorienting. Being ignored on purpose by your husband, your most intimate ally, crumbles your whole being. The experience can leave you thinking that you have been reduced to the level of a ghost, if your presence is systematically ignored and turned irrelevant.Typically, the abuser does this as a form of non-physical punishment, with the purpose of showing his anger by making you feel less worthy, not valued, unimportant, and not cared about. Is a very strong negative message delivered in a way that doesn't leave external traces: there are no signal of physical abuse.Between the lines, what your abuser is trying to do is to manipulate you in the area of yo…

Forgiving a Cheater is Possible

When a husband or wife discovers that their spouse has cheated on them, they have two choices: they can end the marriage or they can try to forgive their spouse and rebuild their relationship in an effort to save the marriage. Forgiving a cheater is an often difficult decision, that takes a valiant effort on the part of both the person who was cheated on and the person who cheated. Forgiving someone who you love who has hurt you in this way may well require more effort than anything you have ever done before.
The forgiveness process will take time and there will be lots of sadness, anger and confusion to wade through. It's important to know that forgiveness does not mean you are condoning the actions of your spouse. It also does not mean that you will forget what has happened. What forgiveness does mean is that you want to move past the cheating and toward the future. The only way your marriage can recover from this damaging event is through the act of forgiveness. I…

10 Questions To Ask Your OB-Gyn When You Are Trying To Conceive

When you and your partner make the decision that you are ready to start your family it can be a very exciting time in your life. First of all, you get to use baby-making as an excuse to rekindle some romance that may have slipped away with the daily routines of your lives. Second, the anticipation of a little one running around, while a bit scary, is invigorating. Finally, you're ready to join the mommy club.
You and your partner try month after month with no success. You're not worried yet because it has only been a few months. More than six months pass and you still are not pregnant. You start to become a little flustered. What do you do now? If you are under the age of 35, most doctors will tell you to try another six months before you consider alternative methods. Instead of just "trying" for twelve months, which can seem like forever when you want to conceive, I recommend talking with your doctor about some inexpensive initial fertility testing to …

Dating Mistakes to Avoid - Why Your Girlfriend Left You and How You Can Win Her Back

Has this ever happened to you?
You believe you've found the girl of your dreams. She's beautiful, intelligent and you both gel together remarkably well. You've introduced her to your family and friends and they like her. She's introduced you to her family and friends and they like you too.
Simply put, she's the ONE.
You treat her like a pure diamond rock found in the mountains of Sierra Leone. It's apparent to everyone that you really care for her.
Then all of a sudden things begin to change.
She no longer seems excited to go out on dates with you. While you used to have rich and fun hour long conversations with her in the past, you now struggle to keep her attention for 5 minutes. Then it finally happens. She calls you up and says she doesn't love you and she's started seeing someone else.
What happened, you ask. I thought she was meant to be the one.
Many guys have been in the same boat as you and have asked the same question. The answe…

How to Build Trust in a New Relationship

Building trust in a new relationship is like building a fortress one block at a time. It may become deep and impenetrable or it may become sloppy with tiny holes. It all depends on how much effort you put into it and how solid you make the foundation.You of course want a solid foundation with no holes because it can be hard to fill those holes in later. Those holes, or suspicious moments, hang around in the back of people minds and get referred to when another 'hole' appears. The more holes you have the less stable your relationship is and the harder it becomes to make it solid.Here are a few things to remember when building your fortress of trust.Be the real you at all times - If you are acting a certain way trying to please your partner you have to know that one day you will feel comfortable enough to be your real self. When that day comes your partner will wonder where the other real you, who was really the fake you, went. This is not just a hole but a huge mi…

When to Give Your Girlfriend a Promise Ring

When you are in love, you may say and do things that later you might regret. You may tell a special someone you love them; meanwhile, there is someone else you have recently met you feel you just can't live without. So how do you know when is the right time to commit to a woman? The simple answer is when you have that gut feeling, little voice, or realize this is someone you would regret ever letting go. However, for the man who has already realized that his girlfriend is "the one," but isn't quite ready for marriage, there is always the promise ring.
One. Think about her style. When choosing a promise ring, keep in mind the kind of jewelry you typically see her wear. Does she like big, showy items such as large hoop earrings, large stones in her rings, and big face watches? If so, then you want a very interesting ring with various cuts and most of all sparkles. However, if she is the conservative type but has a favorite color, then get her somet…

Why Your Dream Girl is Now Your Worst Nightmare

When you both started going out things were great! Of course, they were, she never said a single word to hurt you and you never did anything to make her feel bad -- you were both still getting to know one another! But one day or many days of fighting changed all that! At first you said nothing and excused her emotions as her just having a bad day, but her mood swings became more frequent. Meanwhile, she accuses you of changing too. "You just aren't that great guy anymore either. What happened?" she says. You are thinking, "How did this beautiful woman go from saying 'Please, thank you, I can't live without you'" to "I hate you! I wish I never met you! Just get me what I ask for!"

You will need to start brainstorming if you haven't received a clear answer from her on what you could be doing to drive her crazy. She may have already told you, but she was talking so fast, crying, screaming and doing other things that you simply forg…

When Is it Not a Good Time to Say It With Flowers?

Don't get in trouble with someone you are trying to make a good impression, read this before you say it with flowers!

When Is it Not a Good Time to Say It With Flowers?