Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate: Signs of Cheating Men - Unfaithful Men Facts
Men: In Like or Love with an Engaged or Married Woman
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When a Woman Cheats
1. She often thinks and communicates her concerns about the relationship.
A woman who is on that path toward cheating on her man is going to talk to him, relatives, and friends about what bothers her. If her intimate partner is too busy, emotionally wounded or has other issues, and doesn’t recognize or acknowledge his negative contribution to their relationship woes, then she is going to start contemplating whether the grass is indeed greener on the other side.
One of the worse things a man who still loves his partner can do is to start taking back every nice thing he has ever said or done especially during an angry fit. A woman who reasons that “cheating is okay because he is probably doing it too” will replay every wrong thing her man has ever done to validate her accusation even if it proves to be untrue. Those that usually have some idea that something is going on with the woman and doesn’t see her mate in a good light usually will withdraw or ignore her man because they don’t want to get involved in her relationship dramas. Some will enable the woman because they too are in unhappy relationships. When the woman attempts to discuss her woes with her mate, typically a man busy with work and other responsibilities, cheating, or doing other things that cause him to pay less attention to his partner will not view her needs as important. Therefore, he misses the clues that his mate his thinking about stepping out on him.
2. She becomes more particular about her appearance.
When a man doesn’t bother to express his appreciation for his woman and overlooks the things she does to improve self, she will feel slighted. As a result, she will have just one more reason to want to cheat on him.
If the way she looks wasn’t important in the past, it most likely will be when a new man comes into her life. Now one can’t assume that a woman alters her appearance for a man if there is no proof. But if her partner isn’t complimenting her and others are, watch how she reacts and pay close attention to a certain man’s name that keeps popping up in conversation.
3. She is no longer interested in spending as much time with partner and family.
When opportunities come to vacation with family, visit with relatives, and others, she is often declining invites, not staying home, but out and about. Her mate has no idea where she might be. She is often texting, emailing, or calling someone out of view. A partner might notice that his cheating mate is often bored, argumentative or short with the family and leaves the family home without saying much.4. She finds the time to do the things she wants while often forgetting or ignoring the needs of her family.
How many times is she going to forget picking up the children from grandma’s house? When does she plan on sitting down and talking with her mate or even having sex with him? Why is she talking so much about her male friend/co-worker and can remember what he likes and what time he needs for her to be somewhere? Why is she always late coming home? When you put everything together, don’t just pick out one or two things to ponder, consider patterns.
5. If she is spiritual, she begins to stray away from God and things related to Him.
Pray for your partner if you have a faith. It is obvious that she is no longer respecting the Holy teachings, and isn’t interested in spiritual things like she did at one time when she use to go to church but stopped going. Sometimes cheaters will go to church more and stay home less. Could it be guilt or is the one she is cheating with at the church? This is why husbands should be going to churches and other spiritual events with their partners. The temptation can be greater in the House of God then anywhere else!
6. She often finds fault with her man.
From how he looks to what he says, it appears that every time her partner says or does something she becomes visibly irritated with him. Sometimes she complains to others about him in such a way that it sounds like she is ready to leave him. She may not have found someone yet or slept with a love interest, but she is preparing herself for the future.
7. She may realize that her lover(s) are not what she really wants and proceeds to stop seeing or talking to them.
When all else fails, she might stop going out with them, conversing over the phone or Internet with them, and doing other things. But most women once they start cheating, need some good reasons to want to stay in a relationship that is unsatisfying, most likely someone or something has changed for her to want to continue being with her partner.
A disgruntled wife or girlfriend who has repeatedly shared her concerns with her partner about things that are bothering her, will look the other way. Some women will cheat with minds and eventually bodies, while others might play with the idea of being with anyone but with their current mate. Women are similar to men when they aren’t happy at home, they will be tempted to go elsewhere.
Nicholl McGuire author of When Mothers Cry
Why People Cheat
Relationships are like the children’s story about Goldilocks and the Three Bears; everyone is like Goldilocks searching for a bed that is just right, not too hard and not too soft. We all have had our experiences with cheating whether we have been the cheater or the all-knowing or unsuspected victim. Most people who want to know why people cheat are usually clueless as to the many mental illnesses associated with cheating; for instance bipolar disorder. They also forget that cheating can also come from what one has learned as a child from watching those around them deal with relationships. In addition, there is the widely held belief that cheating comes from things we do in the relationship that cause one to say, “I can do better with someone else.”
Cheating robs you of your mind, body, and soul. One day you are thinking this man or woman is all yours and you are reveling in the wonderful ways he or she makes you feel and then as the days, grow into weeks, and the weeks turn into years, you find yourself wondering why is this person acting differently toward you? Some cheaters say they cheat because they get bored in the relationship, others say they just can’t stay committed, and then those who are self-centered say, “I do it because he doesn’t give me what I want. She doesn’t make me feel as good as the other one does.” Whatever the reason, cheating is cruel and when one knows that he or she has a problem with staying committed and has a long history of hurting people because of it, he or she should get help.
Cheating kills family relationships, causes disease, corrodes trust, cost too much money, and contributes to the breakdown of morals. How can one teach their child not to steal, lie, or kill when he or she is stealing another person’s spouse, lying about their whereabouts, and killing their family? The cheater will quickly argue, but you don’t understand. We can all relate to the times our partners have said or did something to make us wish that we had never met them, but does that give us an excuse to cheat on them? One will reason that he or she doesn’t love the person they are seeing, that their spouse is most likely cheating on them, and so on. However, would two wrongs make the reason for cheating right? Of course not, does that mean your partner will suddenly be the man or woman you always wanted, because you cheated on them? Not hardly.
Most cheaters never planned on cheating “it just happened” as some will say. Well we all know that nothing in this life just happens, behind everything there is a process, a plan, a designer, no matter how chaotic. He or she allowed him or herself to be led down the path to cheat and although this person may not have planned it that way subconsciously someone wanted something to happen. He or she spent more time consulting with the guy or girl at work, in the neighborhood or at the gym about their relationship ills then they did talking about their issues with their mate. He or she may reason, “Well she doesn’t understand me.” It’s up to you to make her understand you. This person may have gone out on far too many lunch dates then they should. He or she may have often kept in contact with one another via email, phone or both. They are more personal than professional and often put themselves in situations that will make it challenging for them to say no to temptation. Most importantly, they allowed this person to rule their minds with their sweet words, attractive physique, and anything else that caused them to wish that their partner was more like so and so.
Cheating can be prevented if one sincerely wants to fight the temptation; however, if they want to be lead by: the stare, sweet words, warm sensation over the body, tingling between the legs, the invite for a bite to eat, the desire to help the damsel in distress and all the other things that lead to the path to cheat then they ought to be prepared for the consequences. Their partner is not going to sit idly by and just allow things to just happen or keep happening; he or she will make the cheater’s life very difficult. Cheaters everywhere should be advised that there is a high price to pay. From losing your partner who is the mother or father of your children to losing all your assets, there are many famous and not-so famous people that are wallowing in regret. The “if onlys” in life are plaguing their minds as you read this. “If only I hadn’t cheated…If only I would have kept walking…If only had I said no…” The grass didn’t turn out to be greener on the other side in most situations. If anything, the cheater finds out that the grass wilts very fast. The mistress now suspects that he is cheating on her with the wife. The unfaithful husband assumes that the mistress will cheat on him with his co-workers or friends. No one trusts one another. If anything, they find themselves right back in the situation with this new person that they were with the old. They fuss, argue, lie to one another, and most importantly, they don’t respect one another. How can you respect a person that is just as bad as you? He or she lied to their partner on the side, took their money and bought the one they cheated with something, and kept any and everything they could a secret from their partner, so what makes one think that they are going to be true to you?
Society seems to have a solution for some of the most complex challenges when it comes to technology, but when it comes to human behavior they don’t have a cure. They can’t give you something to give to you or your mate that will keep you from looking at someone else and wondering, “What would it be like to be with him or her?” They can only give you various reasons like this article provides on why, but it is up to the one who is cheating to do something about the illness that keeps him or her wanting to stray, the past childhood that has him or her emotionally unavailable but all too willing to have sex, or the issues of being self-centered and expecting everyone else to dance by the beat of his or her drum or else which is usually cheating. Until women and men stand up and tell these cheaters, “No, I will not be a part of your game.” The cheaters will continue to manipulate, misuse, and abuse whoever comes in his or her path.
Love Two People? Cheating? What to Do?
She is attractive. The other is okay, but is very smart and mom likes her. He is handsome. His friend is even better-looking and is looking to get into business for himself. The woman and man who loves these people is often upset, confused and praying for a sign that will eliminate at least one of these relationships.
This might be you, caught between two loves. Both as you know, don't have the same qualities, and one is technically better than the other. Yet, your heart loves them both and what one looks like doesn't really matter as much as how the person treats you, right? Yet, they both treat you well, at least that's what you think, but what if you could go behind the scenes to see what is really happening with these two people that claim they love you?
The truth be told, no one loves you as much as you think they do. We all love one another in different ways. The key is to find out what is each individual's definition of love and not the one that is in a dictionary either. More like the definition of love that is in the Bible, the one that Jesus showed to his followers. What is it about you that makes them love you? Could it be that you are so focused on the fact that you love two women or two men that you don't see the signs that your lovers' definition of love is not what you think it is? Maybe your love interests take time with you, because of your material possessions, connections, and what you are willing to give them. You will need to dissect this people who say that they love you to find their true reasons.
Another thing, you will want to consider, is how often are these people coming around you. We tend to miss people more when we don't see them as much. You could very well have feelings for one of your love interests more because you don't see him or her as much. As we all know, that is no way to determine whether a person is worth being in your life forever and always. For example, look at all the celebrities who marry when times are slow and then when their careers take off again, they divorce.
Also, think about what are these people doing for you? Maybe you enjoy one person more than the other, because he or she is a good lover while the other is a good cook. Which is more important to you? Will the talent keep you interested for a life time? You can't have it all, but you can try to get the things you consider most important in a mate.
Take into consideration these people's flaws and which ones you think you can handle more than the other. Couples don't think about this before they marry. They only think about the good times and deal with the bad times later or not at all. They don't want to face harsh truths, they rather sweep them under the rug.
There are those people we keep around in our lives, because someone has told us that we should. Could you be keeping the other person around because someone told you to? You may have history with this person and so does your family and friends; however, that shouldn't be the only reason why this person should be in your life. We are to learn from our past in order to move forward with our lives. One of your loves may be your past, while the other is your future. One may be learning and growing with you while the other is stagnant. Which one do you prefer?
Take the time to look at each person as an individual. Avoid the temptation to compare. You will not reach a good decision by comparing an apple to an orange. Know what you want simply by looking inward more. Sometimes we look to people to make decisions for us that we should be making ourselves. Could these two people represent areas in your life, you are trying to deal with personally? This may not be a good time to have either person, what do you think?
By Nicholl McGuire
She's Crazy by Nicholl McGuire
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