How to Breakup With Your Boyfriend

If you are sure you want to breakup with your boyfriend then there are a few things that you need to do in order to make it easier on you and less painful on him.

Many guys will think they need to keep trying to win you back after you have broken up with them and they don't fully understand the reason that you broke up with them in the first place, but you do, and you have to remember those reasons no matter what they say or do, unless of course they can rectify them.

So with that in mind you will also know that giving them any sense of false hope is not only teasing them it is making them try harder to win you back which you ultimately don't want.

First when you breakup with them give them clear reasons why you are doing so. Tell them the truth. Whether it's that they don't understand you or you feel they don't treat you right, tell them. They may not get it, otherwise they would have been treating you good all along, but at least you've said it as clearly as you can possibly say it. You've done your part.

Secondly, act firmly on your decision. Do not wavier in your decision when they say "I can change!" Just stay true to your feelings that brought you here in the first place. If you show any sign of weighing your options your guy will quickly follow up with another automatic sentence to try to make you change your mind.

Lastly, after the breakup, avoid him for a while. If you have too much contact after the breakup he will not be able to fully deal with and get over his feelings for you because he will see you and the fact that you are moving on and he will instinctively want to do what he can to make that not happen.

The other reason that you need space after a breakup is because if he does pull out every trick up his sleeve you may eventually fall for one of them and end up back in a relationship with him.

Chances are that once you get back together you will have a few good weeks that make you think you made the right decision and then you will fall into the same old relationship you had before.

This is because he will be on his best behaviour during those few weeks doing everything he thinks will please you so that you will be caught in his trap again. Then once he realizes that your relationship is solid again he will fall back into old ways unless he has actively gone out and put effort into changing.

When breaking up with your boyfriend remember to be honest, straightforward, and committed to the breakup.

Bellaisa is an advocate for happy and stable relationships with yourself and with others and she has put together a site that has tips, articles, and resources for every stage of relationships called The Relationship Circle.

You can check it out at http://relationship-circle.com and be sure to join the newsletter for free e-books and information.

How to Break Up With a Woman You Are Dating

Over the past few months, I've endured the hardship of breaking up with various partners, inspiring me to write this newsletter. The break up was the part of the whole sharking process that I really hated; sometimes even scaring me away from entering into relationships in the first place. It was always extremely uncomfortable as I was sensitive to the woman's reaction. However, if there wasn't any real, lasting connection or love, then I had to break up so as to not waste the time of the respective girl. It was definitely easier for me and the girl to end things earlier rather than later.

Many recommend giving the woman respect, thereby meeting her and breaking up with her face-to-face.... I disagree! I think it's much harder for them, if you tell them face-to-face and extremely awkward and uncomfortable for both parties. At the most, I would meet after there had been a short period of respite, waiting for the initial emotional hit to settle, subsequent to my sending of a message first either via text or e-mail.

My main strategies for breaking up with a woman include the following:

Tip 1: To break up with your partner, maybe meet her with less and less frequency, seeming to be increasingly busier, and employing increasing periods of silence.

Fading out the relationship is relatively non-confrontational, and if there is any attack, it will come from her side, thereby giving you an even better excuse to break up. This happened with a girl of mine earlier in the year, whereby I gave excuses of being sick, traveling abroad, working, meeting friends who were visiting from overseas.... In the end, she sent me a raging text message, also saying (of herself), 'I'm not stupid!' She then disappeared, deleting me as a Facebook friend as well.

Tip 2: To break up with your mate, maybe wait for a moment when she blows up at you for something (no matter how small), maybe even facilitating this, and then use this as your cue to storm out, blowing things out of proportion, blaming her for attacking you.

Tip 3: Gather enough arguments for yourself in order to give a valid reason to break up, and maybe make these reasons clear to your partner.

A recent girlfriend of mine was super-negative and criticizing me for a lot of things. In the end, I sent a text message, saying, 'It's very hard for me to deal with your negative comments. It seems to me that we're not well suited for each other.' She responded totally shocked, apologizing and stating that she would still be happy to talk if we ever met by chance when out partying.

Tip 4: In breaking up, you could be totally honest about your feelings.

A while ago, I began ignoring a girl that I was seeing. After some time, I finally picked up the phone when she called and said, 'Sorry, I just don't feel that I love you.' She completely understood, and respected my answer, acting very civil about the whole affair.

Tip 5: To a more bothersome, casual lay, you can state that you now have a girlfriend if you want to get rid of her.

Tip 6: If you're an expat, maybe say that you'll be leaving the country soon, and thus there's no point continuing with each other (thereby wasting each other's time).

I used this excuse on a girl once, who I incidentally met some time afterwards. She asked, 'You're still here?' to which I answered, 'I came back.'

Tip 7: If she still doesn't get the hint about breaking up, then you probably have to be more direct.

Just this week, I had to take more drastic means with a girl I been trying to get rid of nicely and subtly. I sent her the following text message, 'Sorry, I just can't be serious about a relationship. It's not the right time for me now. I hope you understand.' Her response was, 'Yes, of course. I feel. No problem:) I also don't want to continue.'

Tip 8: Maybe disappear for a while, saying, 'I need to be alone for a while,' and hopefully the relationship will run out of steam.

At the time modern day pickup theory was still in its infancy, an alternative philosophy was being independently developed by an elite team of womanizers in Eastern Europe. This fresh concept of seduction, was termed Zero-In.

John Stevens, one of the 3 founding members of Zero-In, decided to detail his account as a womanizer (over a one year period) in a novel.

He also decided to summarise the main teachings of the group in a more structured way via an audio presentation series.

http://www.zero-in.eu