Improve Your Online Dating Experiences, Prepare for What is Ahead

Let's face it, our Internet connections are technologically induced as well as the emotions that result. Images are altered to impress. Words are specially selected to persuade us to "choose me," chat and make an appointment to see a potential partner. Dating preferences are sometimes embellished to lure you in and keep you captivated. E-mail, text, and video stories are at times are vague, inaccurate or insulting. The voice on the other end of the phone or via video chat is controlled as well as behaviors. A stranger is careful not to irritate you or send you running. Most likely, these potential dates recall the arguments they had with exes and the barrage of insults they endured that revealed their weaknesses prior to connecting with you. Therefore, they know what to do to hide flaws so that they can attract new mates before the unsuspecting are on to their games.

So if you feel a tad bit tricked or cheated when it comes to online dating, you have been. There is only so much that one can do online as compared to offline. There are still many things about a person's body language, spirit, and demeanor that can be quite different when you see them face-to-face and spend much time with dates.

A young man approaches the computer screen eager to meet a woman who will give him some time, affection and possibly add benefits to his flourishing lifestyle. He joins an online dating website, fills out forms, answers survey questions, uploads his photo, and familiarizes himself with ice breakers and other features so that he is well-prepared and comfortable to generate conversation in the near future with the lovely ladies online. The bachelor doesn't pay too much attention to a dating websites rules and isn't the least bit interested in paying for any additional services. He just wants a companion. 

When it comes to meeting that special someone we don't always get what we ordered from the Internet as you will read in a later chapter. Yet, those emotions we experienced that swept us away from a mere computer screen projecting an image of someone that may or may not be real, feel so genuine.

As time goes on, this same young man, as described earlier, will grow weary of the dating pool on one site, and contemplate on joining another and another and may even pay to get better service. The longer he sticks it out using dating websites and apps the chances he will meet more than just a companion. Possibly a character created from one's fantasy world like a model or a special design (autobot). The longing man talks with anyone or thing in the hopes that what he hopes is human won't let him down in the short or long term.

Speaking of bots (fake profiles built to enhance communication to build revenue for the dating site) daters find out sooner or later on many of the money-grabbing sites that they have been hooked into nothing more than an altered reality. They speak about their experiences in reviews. The bot will never lead to anything offline. However, some gullible members of these dating sites will keep on talking anyway being entertained by hot, imaginary friends.

The opportunists are out there in dating world and they aren't much interested in meeting someone as much as getting specific needs met. You will read about their agendas and possibly your own in the next chapter. In addition, you will find thoughts, experiences and more about Internet dating and why one will need to put the brakes on some things if you are just getting started or know someone who is in the online dating arena. Read about the pitfalls as well that some find themselves in because they started off looking to meet someone on the Internet for all the wrong reasons. When it is all said and done, you will have come away from reading this book understanding fully why it is so essential to take it slow when dating.

Want to read more?  Too Much Too Soon Internet Dating Blues by Nicholl McGuire is now available on Barnes & Noble online.

Internet Romance Moving Way Too Fast? Book excerpt from Too Much Too Soon Internet Dating Blues by Nicholl McGuire

"I know you are excited. You really want to meet this guy but you might want to slow down. Listen, you don't even know this girl! What's up with you, stop moving so fast?" family members and friend warn over and over again. Sometimes those admonitions grow old, because the truth is some loved ones are just meddlesome and have their share of personal hang-ups especially about Internet dating, but others are really concerned for your safety. If you or they have a history of dating violent women or men or lost a loved one due to domestic violence, it is understandable why they are protective of you.

Unchecked emotions will move you to do much for a potential date even when you don't know one's middle or nickname, a birth city or a mother's maiden name. So let us look at some of those Internet issues that most singles don't think about before thoughts of sleeping with a stranger come into play.

1. Distance

2. Work hours

3. Job related travel

4. Money woes

5. Religious differences

6. Spends a lot of time with family and friends

7. Ethnicity related issues

8. Problems with exes

9. Unhealthy habits

10. Unruly children

You most likely can add many more to this list, but these are just some of the common ones to think about and I will share some thoughts about some on the list as follows. 

Long Distance Love

Let's say you are dating someone who lives a plane ride away, you will need much money to maintain a decent relationship. However, if you don't have the money, what do you think you will end up doing after a few months of dating? Either stop dating this person because it is getting to costly or convince him or her to start coming to see you or split the costs. You might also feel the need to live with him or her or vice versa to defray the expenses. It is never a good idea to cohabitate with someone because you like them and want to save money.

Opportunists

One fact we can't overlook when it comes to Internet dating are those individuals who are unhappy and looking for any way to be fulfilled. There are plenty of people going online just to find someone who they can date in a coveted state because they don't like where they live. Therefore, they need a connection that will help them move to the new location. If things take off, the opportunist will move in with the person while using him or her as a springboard to help them in the new town. Foreigners will marry to gain citizenship.

Workaholics

What about those long work hours that eventually leaves you little time to be together? Is an online date's schedule really going to be any different once you two start dating offline? Maybe in the beginning, but in time, the job will get in the way of the relationship. Most likely, that is why the workaholic is online seeking a partner yet again.

How about the one who is often traveling due to a "job," sometimes that excuse is untrue. If the person is doing much travel for the "job" when is he or she going to have time to work on a relationship with you?

Want to read more?  Purchase your copy of Too Much, Too Soon Internet Dating Blues by Nicholl McGuire.  Available in print and eBook.

The Highs and Lows of Online Romances

The warm feeling that comes over you when you see that special someone online and offline.  He or she makes you feel alive!  You haven't felt this good in years!  You can't get enough of talking to that special friend and drooling over his or her photos.  You want the world to know just how you feel, but you can't say everything or do as much as you want due to concern that the individual might sooner or later let you down or worse not be the one!

It is understandable to feel this way.  You don't always know whether a person is sincere about you like you are about him or her.  It is always best to slow down a bit.  Spend time talking and watching the person's mannerisms.  Find out whether he or she is in fact right for you and not just right for the moment.

I personally witnessed a friend go from enormous highs in her infatuation of the people she met online to great lows within days of meeting her dates.  She would start off with starry-eyed conversations of these guys like how good they look, how well they treated her during a date, and how wealthy they were, only to later be very disappointed with them.  "He's conceited...he's cheap....all he wants is sex...I don't know what I was thinking...I need to stay offline for awhile."

The poor woman refused to spend more time getting to know those handsome hunks outside of bedroom romps.  She would become defensive when I said anything that would burst her bubble.  I tried to get her to think about the good, bad, and ugly about each of her dates so that she wouldn't be going into these romances wearing rose-colored glasses, but she didn't act on the wisdom she attained.  Then when she would learn that they just wasn't into her, she would look so sad and sometimes not say much if anything to me.

Be careful of those romantic highs!  The upswing of online dating are times when you feel like you are on top of the world and all seems to be so right with a date.  You are getting along with that special friend, going to fun places, enjoying your time with him or her and sharing your plans about the future.  But then the lows, those down moments, come along:  someone is working too much, has some annoying habits, controlling relatives, unattractive once the make up or dress clothes come off, and has his or her share of past baggage and issues that get in the way of good times with you.

Online dating is comprised of a lot of people being on their best behavior for a limited time before everything starts to unravel.  When the low moments show up, you have to ask yourself, "Is a date really worth it?"  Be real with yourself and that person you are dating, do you really want to work on a relationship with this person or just a body?

Nicholl McGuire
Blog Owner and Author of Too Much, Too Soon Internet Dating Blues

Give It Some Time - Online Dating and Watching for the Crazies and Manipulators

Months go by and still one is trying to meet that special person, what gives?  You have been ghosted, lied to, analyzed, mistreated, manipulated...these people online are crazy, wild, wounded, and desperate.  It isn't you, right?  It's always them.

One of the biggest mistakes people make when dating on or offline is they simply don't be themselves.  They go about the dating world pretending to be easy-going, fun, sweet, nice or whatever else they wish to be.  Yet, as time goes on true colors are revealed and what was once so beautiful or handsome turns out to be a minion from hell!

Give yourself some time when online dating.  Allow at least four seasons to go by before committing to an exclusive relationship.  Also, don't assume that you know someone very well after a week of talking and a month of dating.  People who are good at deceiving others can keep up a false persona for a long time before their act begins to unravel.  Watch out for the following red alert signs when dating people who might potentially be a problem for you:

1.  They often say things that are inaccurate, misunderstood or downright strange.  You find yourself often puzzled, worried, or upset after talking to them.
2.  They pretend to know things that they really don't.  When asked specific questions, they contrive answers that are not comprehensible, deviate from the subject, or act as if you misunderstood them.
3.  They are easily upset or confused when under pressure and curse much about the littlest of things.
4.  They are often unhappy, miserable or ill.
5.  They fake happiness, but upon closer inspection you quickly realize the individual is messed up.
6.  They don't have any good relationships with others.
7.  They mismanage many things including: finances, household, children, job duties, etc.

Online dating isn't easy no matter how workable and convenient the dating apps and websites.  People are complex at times and don't always look or act in ways that we expect.  Brace yourself for the future disappointments.  As much as we want to believe that someone will always be one way or the other, we know that when life throws a curve ball, people do change.

Avoid assuming the worst about others, but don't be naïve and lose your common sense either--like shunning away those warning bells that tell you things like, "I don't trust this person...something is wrong...I suspect she is crazy...not my type." 

Keep in mind manipulators hope that you fall in love fast.  They hope you think the world of them so that they can start getting whatever they want from you sooner rather than later.  They know that one day you will find them out.

Nicholl McGuire

Detective Owl’s: Online Dating Safety Guide for Women

Online dating is a great way to meet your future partner. Last year alone, twice as many marriages occurred between men and women who met online versus couples who met in bars, clubs and at other social events combined.

If you’re new to online dating and considering jumping aboard the Tinder bandwagon, it’s worth taking the time to protect yourself and be safe... http://www.datingmetrics.com/online-dating-safety-guide-for-women/

Tutorial: How to Date Online (Humor)

Amy Webb: How I hacked online dating, TED Talks

10 Signs Your Online Date Has Hidden Mental Issues

Have you been in contact with someone online that you are doubtful about meeting in person?  Could it be that you picked up on some things about this person that make you doubt whether he or she is really a match for you?  With so many people being knowledgeable when it comes to using the computer and navigating the Internet, you never know what you might find on an online dating website.  More and more people with low IQs, unattractive looks, mental and physical illnesses, and unresolved issues from the past are flocking to the web in search of love too.  So for those who are very particular about who they want to enter their lives, be on the look out for people who have all sorts of mental and physical challenges hiding their issues amongst doctored up photos, flattery, and impressive dating profiles.

How do you know your online date has some hidden mental issues they don't want you to know about?

1. This person expects you to keep him or her entertained in conversation, while he or she says very little (or the individual might be overly talkative to the point that you can't get a word in.)
2.  He or she spends time complaining or blaming an ex over things that most people wouldn't make a big deal about.
3.  Your online date seems overly serious, sensitive or often angry and one's explanation for his or her personality issues seems to make no sense.
4.  You have caught your online date in lies, half-truths, or exaggerations and you feel like he or she is often hiding some facts about his or her self.
5.  You noticed that your date doesn't talk about job, family or friends without being prompted and when he or she speaks there is never anything much to tell or far too much to say to the point that you feel uncomfortable.
6.  The online dater sends you messages that sound as if this person has taken them from a book, song, or even someone else's profile.
7.  You feel as if your date is trying to say and do all the right things to please you, but you have yet to figure out what he or she really wants with you except the obvious, sex, money or both.
8.  He or she often talks about an illness he or she is grappling with and shares some information about taking a prescription medicine, missing work, having to pay hospital bill, or some other health related concern.
9.  Your online date doesn't mention doing much else with his or her life, but going to work.
10.  Whenever you ask a personal question or one that requires using some critical thinking skills, the response is poorly written, ignorant, weird, or downright stupid.

If you notice most of these points in someone you have been talking to via the Internet, imagine what a future with this person might look like.  Will you be able to put up with the mood swings associated with his or her personality issues or physical handicap?  Are you patient when it comes to people talking slow or stuttering?  Do you exhibit self-control even when someone is having a mental fit around you?  Can you honestly say that you are a forgiving person and can you be supportive if your online date says or does something that is insulting, rude, or ugly?  What will this person really bring to your life--added happiness, peace of mind, financial support, a listening ear, love, etc.?

Take your time before you arrange to meet someone that might not be very easy to get out of your life in the future.  Think before you commit money, time, and body.

Nicholl McGuire, author of Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate, see blog here.  Also, check out my Internet dating guide that provides helpful insight on taking it slow with online dates and being more observant offline as well.  Get free sample here: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/616256

Social Networking Harassment

It may not have happened to you, but it can, social networking harassment. One day you are busily writing emails to people in your network and then suddenly without warning someone sends you a hateful email about something you may have posted in a forum, on a bulletin, or passed around in a note. You acknowledge their concern in a way they aren’t too happy about. They respond with a few expletives and insults trying to make you just as angry if not more than they are. You dismiss their email as childish and send another. This keeps going on until you put an end to it on your end, but this person wants to keep going. They blast your friend list with insults about you, they accuse you of being something you are not, and they may even create a group against you. This type of behavior is social networking harassment. So how do you know what signs to look out for and what can you do if this person wants to keep going on and on with their tirade?


If you are sending and receiving negative email on a consistent basis from someone then that is considered harassment. If you are the sender, you may want to stop while you are ahead. If the person you are sending the email to does something to themselves or to someone else as a result of the email you are sending them, you may be at fault.

If you (or the person who is harassing you) is attempting to rally up support to hurt this person maliciously by creating a group or doing other things such as blatantly lying or name calling, you could be sued for defamation of character.

There are some people who will send false complaints to tech support about the individual or group as a way to get their account suspended. This could backfire if you are the guilty party. However, if the concerns are legitimate they will be investigated and the person could be removed from the system.

Past images of nudity, lewd behavior, and other things you may have done can come back to haunt you. Most social networking sites will not allow graphic photos so you can contact the tech support asking that the photo be removed. However, if it isn’t bad enough to break the social networking site’s rules, then you will have to ask the person who posted it to remove it or get legal representation to help.

There isn’t much you can do if a person purposely embarrasses or belittles you like calling you out on a message board or puts your name in capitals on their profile page, but if what they are saying is bad enough to break the policies of the social networking site then you can ask tech support to get involved.

Some social networking sites can’t keep all hackers out of your account, so with that said, you will need to avoid putting anything on your site that could potentially hurt you in the long term.

Also, keep in mind that if anyone should threaten to do bodily harm to you or those that you know or if you should threaten him or her, the police will treat a threat the same way as if you said it to a person’s face. Contact the authorities in your harasser’s hometown and make copies of what they posted on their site and the emails that they sent you.

By Nicholl McGuire

Online Dating Advice - 5 Warning Signs of Fake Profiles

When you're on an online dating site, you open your heart in the hopes of finding someone special. Unfortunately, there are some people out there who want to take advantage of that. So even though you should still be open, you still need to protect yourself. Here are a few things online dating tips on what to look out for and how protect your online identity.
1. Protect your password: This is common sense. Think of it this way - you would never give your bank card number and password to someone just because they asked for it, would you? You should think of your password to whatever dating site you've joined. Never share your password with anyone inside or outside of the site. In fact, the only page that should ask for your user name and password is the login page.
2. Sharing personal information: It's called a public profile for a reason, as everyone on the site can see it. So if you don't want any Tom, Dick or Harry calling you up, don't put your personal contact information here. It's a different story once you get to know someone better - once you feel comfortable with another member, you can always choose to pass along your contact information.
3. Off-site communication: Be cautious when people try to lure you off of this site and onto another, usually one that requires credit card details to enter it. In this case, contact the dating site's customer service department and pass along that user's name. You'll be doing yourself - and other members - a great favor.
4. Go with your gut: Your gut always knows best and your instincts are the most accurate indicator when it comes to talking or meeting someone, so you should never ignore them. If you start to feel uneasy or unsafe about another user on the site, stop talking to them immediately and report them to that site's service agents.
5. General Tips: Here are some more tips on how to spot a scammer:
• They don't want to get to know you, and will usually ignore any personal questions about themselves.
• They will ask you for money or credit card information for various personal reasons, or they will try to lure you away from the site.
• Their profile pictures may look professional, almost "too good to be true." These pictures look like they have been taken by a professional photographer and the person featured looks like a model.
• Their profile may be incomplete, and says nothing about their personality.
• Insist on seeing current photos when contacting other members, and remember to give others the same.

By Miranda Patterson

10 Online Dating Mistakes Men Make

Have you tried online dating yet? If so, you might be one of the 90% of men who quit online dating within the first few months because they weren't getting any results.
How frustrating this is when you think about all the possibilities that online dating presents.
Well, I'm about to share with you 10 fatal mistakes which men make while online dating, and how you can avoid them and turn your results around.
Mistake #10: Picking Crappy Sites
This one mistake can cost you hours and hours of your time. The trick is full of lousy dating sites, some of which create fake female profiles in order to beef up their member base.
So men sign up for accounts on these low-budget sites, send out a bunch of emails...and of course, they get very few (or none) back. Better to make the investment in a membership at one of the more reputable sites.
Mistake #9: Not Taking Enough Action
Most men don't realize how rare it is to get responses from emails sent to women on online dating site. On average, you're only going to get one out of every 10 e-mails back...and that's if you're good. Some men have to create dozens of e-mails just to get one response.
So if you want to succeed at online dating, you have to take a lot of action.
Mistake #8: Long Emails
Attractive women on dating sites get dozens of emails a day and they don't have time to read all of them. So if you're writing emails that are really long, your chances of getting a response are very low.
Mistake #7: Boring Headlines
Considering how many emails women get on online dating sites, you can bet that the emails with Boring headlines aren't going to get read. Most men make the mistake of using headlines like: "hi" or "what's up?" or "Like your profile." Boooring!
Mistake #6: Bad Profiles
Your profile should talk about what you're looking for and some of your interests. Many men make the mistake of complaining about their past negative experiences or talking about what they DON'T want.
Listen, everyone has had enough bad experiences of their own...if you vent yours in your profile, women are going to move on to someone who has less baggage.
Mistake #5: Poor Pictures
The Internet is full of scammers who create dating profiles in order to meet women and ask them for money. These scammers normally only have one picture in their profile...so it's a common belief among experienced online daters that one picture profiles are not the real person.
Post several pictures of yourself and avoid pictures where you have your shirt off or where you have a drink in your hand...and have a few pictures of you and your friends to show that you have a life.
(and please guys...no fake pictures or lying about your age, weight or height).
Mistake #4: Being Nasty
If a woman doesn't email you back right away, don't send her a nasty email. Instead, send one polite follow-up and then move on. Remember, women get a lot of emails online and many of them will respond to persistence...but if you're nasty you blow your chances.
Just be sure to send only one follow up..no cyber stalking.
Mistake #3: Not Read Profiles
Women hate getting generic e-mails which don't mention anything about their profile. Yes, it will take you some time because you have to send out a lot of emails..but read their profiles and make a comment about something they said...
...otherwise you're wasting your time writing.
Mistake #2: Being too Interested Too Soon
Most men find a profile that they like and decide that they're interested in the woman already. Really!? You don't know anything about her... she could be lying on her profile or posting false pictures.
Instead, send the email with the intention of getting to know more about her.
Mistake #1: Dating Online
Online dating sites are a great place to meet women...but they're a terrible place to build a relationship. Once you meet someone you're interested in, don't let any more than three emails go by before you ask for a phone number.

'Secrets Most Men Will Never Know About Women' full of tips and advice on how to find, attract and keep the hottest women.

How to Attract a Man If You're Single and Recently Divorced by Avoiding These Online Dating Mistakes

Online dating can be an excellent way to meet men. This is especially true if you are a single that has recently gone through a divorce or breakup. The reason what makes this method of dating so powerful is because it allows you to slowly ease your way back into the dating scene without being overwhelmed. However, it is the same convenience of being protected from being overwhelmed that can be your downfall in actually finding and attracting the right man again.

You see, what usually happens is, when many women that are in a similar situation to you get back into the dating scene, they will continue to talk about their past relationships. This is normal because they are still getting over the whole ordeal of that relationship. Unfortunately, most men who are looking to date woman online find this off-putting to a certain degree. Yes, there are those that take pity in a woman that has gone through a lot of emotional heartbreak. Unfortunately, what you are really looking for is someone that truly finds you interesting for who you are and not because they have pity on you.

My advice to you is this; as much as is it can be painful at times to get over a past relationship, always look at the future as a way of building something new. It won't be easy, but sooner or later time will heal any hurt. The only way that this can happen is through your own active participation in moving forward. Therefore, when meeting with other men through online dating sites, try to shut out your past and focus on that potential partner in terms of who he is and what he might be able to offer you, as well as what you might be able to offer him as a potential partner as well.

By keeping your messages positive, you will not only attract a potential partner, but you will also begin to find that your overall feelings become positive. So in the end, it is a win-win situation for you.

Another mistake that you should always avoid is by throwing your anger onto other men because of what happened in your relationship. Remember, just like every woman is different, the same applies to men. So, while one man might have hurt you in the past, it does not necessarily mean that any future potential partner will do the same to you. By trying to remind yourself about this all the time, you will find that communicating with men through online dating will become easier. It will also attract more men to want to speak with you if they don't feel that you have any resentment towards them.

Now just as online dating can be a great way to slowly ease you into the dating scene again, be careful not to get too comfortable with this approach. In the end, you will need to make a real face-to-face contact with other men. A good way of doing this is by using an online dating site that also offers outings and events for singles. What they will do is arrange an event that can last a few days or week where groups of singles get to meet together. By doing this, you are still able to ease yourself into the relationship simply because you are not doing the old traditional one-on-one date.

If you would like to know which free online dating site offers these types of events, click here.

Give Your Date a Night to Remember - Dating and Singles Tips !

I am communicating with somebody from a dating site and we are close to getting out on our opening date. Wherever are the most proficient places for our first date?

The bulk of online daters hold their first date at a café. It is a very instinctive and easy surrounding where you are able to create an immediate departure or stay on for hours depending on how the date advances. So what is the most common spot was for a first date, more importantly “the best spots”. Here are a few more options…

1) Miniature golf game.
What’s neat about miniature golf is that it's an activity date where you aim to experience the new person whilst undergoing some fun. In a locale such as this, it’s more comfortable for your persona (and your date’s persona) to shine.

2) Hole in the Wall Eat Out.
This constitutes among those humble spots that hardly any people know about that deliver absolute great table service and food. It can involve a lot of research on your part uncovering it, but once you discover this gem, it will very much impress both your date and you.

3) Local Comedy nightspot.
Let’s face it,partaking in an entertaining experience during a first date could help build a fast bond. Plan on getting to the comedy club early with your date to get time to know one an other prior to the “main event”. Being able to joke and experience fun on your date is a recipe for a great night. But if you consider your date might be shocked by forceful language or sexual insinuations from a comedian, perhaps it’s better to look somewhere else for a first date.

4) Local carnival or Theme Park.
Reports indicate that proceeding on a date at a theme park assists building a bond as the playfulness related to the event is every bit related with who the event is shared with. Hence getting together at a theme park or local funfair can offer great interactivity and amusement.
While imagining a site for a first date, be creative, but not over the top. Be sure the locale is a spot your date can meet you at (it is never a smart thought to pick up your date or permit yourself to be picked up on a first date). Your initial date might have been to a café, however being a shade imaginative (and unusual) will assist you to stand out from the bunch.

Free Internet dating sites can often be a great place to start for dating ideas. The Internet has many free online dating sites and free chat rooms that offer dating related articles for singles who are looking for dating ideas. Participating in singles chat rooms is a fantastic way check out what other singles are getting up to on their latest dating adventures.

Recent Internet dating research suggests that 30% of singles now use free chat rooms and online dating sites in an attempt to meet new friends and singles.

by Mr Online Dating

Online Dating - 10 Rules Everyone Should Know

Online dating is an exciting frontier, filled with possibilities around every corner - but before you begin returning those enticing emails, there are 10 rules you should abide by.

Your love life may be stalled for a number of reasons. A recently ended relationship might leave you stranded with a condensed social circle and feelings of loneliness. You might have experienced a recent change, like a divorce, graduating from college, or moving to a new city. No matter what the circumstance, it is hard to meet new people. Enter the world of online dating - full of variety, spice, and excitement. If you're new to the online dating scene, there are several things that everyone should know.

1. Plan ahead

Are you looking to just spend some time entertaining yourself in chat rooms? Looking for someone to hang out with on the weekends? Seeking a one night stand? Trying to find Mr. or Ms. Right? Determine your goals for online dating and stick to them - otherwise you might hurt the feelings of others or find yourself scraping up the pieces of another failed relationship.

2. Ask your friends

Online dating and chat rooms are standard tools for people of all walks of life looking for love or a little fun. Ask your friends what sites have worked for them in the past. Trust the opinions of those you already know rather than choosing a service at random.

3. Start slow

You may need to spend some time in chat rooms, email correspondence, or even via the telephone before you feel comfortable enough to meet someone. Take your time - there is no rush! Enjoy the process and embrace the excitement.

4. Tell the truth!

If you really want to experience success with online dating, you must be honest. While you cannot control the actions of others, maintaining accountability to yourself will thwart the temptation to attach someone else's picture to your profile or lie about your past.

5. Organize and prioritize

Online dating can be overwhelming. It's a lot easier to browse profiles of individuals that you know are looking for a relationship than to strike up a conversation with someone at the bar. Choose a few of the most interesting profiles, take notes, and limit yourself to corresponding with them at first. You can always look again if they don't work out, and this will avoid too much activity and confusing emotions.

6. Don't believe everything you see or read

If he or she sounds too good to be true, it's very possible that you're looking at a bad egg. Take your time getting to know someone. Check their story. If you have arrived to the point where personal information has been revealed, there are ways you can verify details. If a person claims they work at the local community college, you can check the phone directory for their name. Public record is a valuable resource!

7. Chat room etiquette

That old adage "if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all" still applies to online dating. Chat rooms often give people a sense of invincibility. When the fingers start flying, things tend to move fast and have the potential to get steamy. Stop. Think. If you wouldn't say it to a complete stranger face-to-face, don't say it at all.

8. Paying for an online dating service might not be so bad

Websites that charge for entering chat rooms or making an online dating profile may turn you off at first glance. You might feel embarrassed or afraid to shell out hard earned money to a dating website; however, you can rest assured that if someone is willing to make the investment it costs to participate in online dating circles, it's possible that they are very serious and willing to go the extra mile for you!

9. Be available

Don't have access to the internet everyday? This might cause problems in the online dating world. Those who try this method of socialization like to think they'll receive quick responses. Be available, consider setting aside a specific time to spend in the chat room, and respond to emails in a timely fashion. Otherwise, you might find your potentials losing interest.

10. Safety first, second, and third

When you've gathered your confidence and found somebody you want to meet face-to-face, remember that you don't know what to expect. Meet in a public place. Drive your own car so that you can maintain control of your environment, and leave if you feel uncomfortable. Even if the first date leads to a second, or third, keep in mind that you've only just met, and there is no need to rush.

Aelicia Anderson has been involved in online dating sites for over ten years and is widely considered an expert in the industry. When not writing her popular dating advice column Aelicia can often be found hanging in her favourite chat rooms.