Showing posts with label arguing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label arguing. Show all posts
Why Do People Go Back to One Another After a Break Up?
About nine years ago, I was curious as to why people go back to one another after a break up. I had noticed this pattern after a few honeymoon periods between victims and their abusive partners (as well as myself--thank God I have been free for over 20 years now) and men who I dated who were still thinking about and sexing the so-called ex.
The answer to that question provided results that were, too put it plainly, common sense, but didn't make the reasons right, good or altogether true. The answers from real people with real life experience can be found in the discussion I started here: Why People Go Back to One Another
The answer to that question provided results that were, too put it plainly, common sense, but didn't make the reasons right, good or altogether true. The answers from real people with real life experience can be found in the discussion I started here: Why People Go Back to One Another
"Why are they back together, why?"
Minor Disputes Will Not Kill Your Relationship
So you have been disagreeing with one another more frequently lately, did you really think you would always have a peaceful, loving, sweet, and agreeable partner? Just because disputes have increased between the two of you lately, doesn't mean that your relationship is coming to an end. If anything, it is a good sign that you both are maturing, learning more about one another, and feel more confident to speak your mind. In new relationships, many couples put on a good act, but once the newness wears off, now lies become truths and the realization of whether or not a lover is indeed right for them comes to the surface.
While you read this, there are couples all over the world having screaming matches, fist wars, and rages about personal property. Thank God, your relationship woes aren't as bad as others or are they? Disputes are inevitable and how you manage them will determine whether you really want to be in a relationship with that man or woman who keeps giving you the blues.
1. Ask yourself, "Is what my sweetheart saying really that bad?" Truth is that if someone stopped by and listened to what your partner was saying to you, it just might not be as bad as you are making it out to be. Maybe he or she is saying something that you don't agree with, rubbing you the wrong way about something you did or didn't do, or has some other issue with you, whatever the case if you don't look at the issue as "so bad," it won't be.
2. What else has been happening in your partner's life besides you? Sometimes sudden illness, accidents, abuse, death, job loss, pregnancy, and other issues alter one's personality. People don't always bounce back into that person we once knew. So you have a choice, deal with your changed partner or don't. Complaining will get you nowhere, but back into yet another argument. Offer your service, be nicer and more understanding and when all else fails, move on.
3. Are you doing all you can to make wrongs right? Disputes will continue between couples if no one doesn't bother to forgive and forget. Apologies can be difficult to give out if one believes that he or she is right most of the time, it isn't any wonder why you argue. Try humbling yourself, listening to your partner, and then learning from your mistakes.
4. When was the last time you gently touched your partner, made love, or enjoyed one another without distractions? If intimacy is lacking, the body will act out. There will be an increase of disputing. Eyes will roam. The grass might appear to look greener on the other side. It is obvious that life responsibilities are robbing you of your intimate relationship. Make time for one another!
5. Are you spending way too much time with one another? Needy individuals will suffocate their partners. They will expect way too much too soon. They will want their boyfriends and girlfriends to be very attentive and often consider their feelings. If you or your partner is like this, you will argue, because one or both of you are growing weary of one another. This is definitely the time to stop talking to one another, give each other space, and find something more to do with your lives besides sit in each other's presence. If a girlfriend or boyfriend sincerely wants to be with you, he or she will come back around, but if not, the person most likely was looking for a way out of his or her misery.
Now that you have been given five questions to ponder, remind yourself that your relationship is not over and that minor disputes are just that. If you are in a relationship that is sincerely meant to be, you and your partner will come out of this season of disagreement.
Nicholl McGuire also maintains Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate, When Mothers Cry and other blogs.
While you read this, there are couples all over the world having screaming matches, fist wars, and rages about personal property. Thank God, your relationship woes aren't as bad as others or are they? Disputes are inevitable and how you manage them will determine whether you really want to be in a relationship with that man or woman who keeps giving you the blues.
1. Ask yourself, "Is what my sweetheart saying really that bad?" Truth is that if someone stopped by and listened to what your partner was saying to you, it just might not be as bad as you are making it out to be. Maybe he or she is saying something that you don't agree with, rubbing you the wrong way about something you did or didn't do, or has some other issue with you, whatever the case if you don't look at the issue as "so bad," it won't be.
2. What else has been happening in your partner's life besides you? Sometimes sudden illness, accidents, abuse, death, job loss, pregnancy, and other issues alter one's personality. People don't always bounce back into that person we once knew. So you have a choice, deal with your changed partner or don't. Complaining will get you nowhere, but back into yet another argument. Offer your service, be nicer and more understanding and when all else fails, move on.
3. Are you doing all you can to make wrongs right? Disputes will continue between couples if no one doesn't bother to forgive and forget. Apologies can be difficult to give out if one believes that he or she is right most of the time, it isn't any wonder why you argue. Try humbling yourself, listening to your partner, and then learning from your mistakes.
4. When was the last time you gently touched your partner, made love, or enjoyed one another without distractions? If intimacy is lacking, the body will act out. There will be an increase of disputing. Eyes will roam. The grass might appear to look greener on the other side. It is obvious that life responsibilities are robbing you of your intimate relationship. Make time for one another!
5. Are you spending way too much time with one another? Needy individuals will suffocate their partners. They will expect way too much too soon. They will want their boyfriends and girlfriends to be very attentive and often consider their feelings. If you or your partner is like this, you will argue, because one or both of you are growing weary of one another. This is definitely the time to stop talking to one another, give each other space, and find something more to do with your lives besides sit in each other's presence. If a girlfriend or boyfriend sincerely wants to be with you, he or she will come back around, but if not, the person most likely was looking for a way out of his or her misery.
Now that you have been given five questions to ponder, remind yourself that your relationship is not over and that minor disputes are just that. If you are in a relationship that is sincerely meant to be, you and your partner will come out of this season of disagreement.
Nicholl McGuire also maintains Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate, When Mothers Cry and other blogs.
Just Had an Argument? What's One Thing You Love About Your Mate?
After an argument, a cold shoulder, or an eye roll, it's hard to think about that one thing you love about someone who has done these things to you. But try anyway, let's think.
1. The way he/she smiles.
2. How nice he/she smells.
3. The thoughtful ways he/she shows care ie.) gas in the car, back rub, brings me snacks, gifts, etc.
4. How great love-making feels.
5. He/she cleaning up messes around the home.
6. Comforting me when I am angry at others.
7. Calling me to say, "I was thinking about you...love you...I'm sorry."
8. Giving me time and space to cool down.
9. His/her good cooking.
10. How he/she cares for children.
11. Paying bills.
12. Compliments the way I look.
If most of these things and more make you feel good when you think about them concerning your mate, then chances are, this person is a keeper. Appreciate what you have while you still have this person in your life! There are so many widows in this world and people in dead relationships. Whatever your dispute, it happened, take into consideration what you have learned, and do better next time. It's just that simple!
Nicholl McGuire
1. The way he/she smiles.
2. How nice he/she smells.
3. The thoughtful ways he/she shows care ie.) gas in the car, back rub, brings me snacks, gifts, etc.
4. How great love-making feels.
5. He/she cleaning up messes around the home.
6. Comforting me when I am angry at others.
7. Calling me to say, "I was thinking about you...love you...I'm sorry."
8. Giving me time and space to cool down.
9. His/her good cooking.
10. How he/she cares for children.
11. Paying bills.
12. Compliments the way I look.
If most of these things and more make you feel good when you think about them concerning your mate, then chances are, this person is a keeper. Appreciate what you have while you still have this person in your life! There are so many widows in this world and people in dead relationships. Whatever your dispute, it happened, take into consideration what you have learned, and do better next time. It's just that simple!
Nicholl McGuire
Five tips for feuding couples
Five tips for feuding couples
Arguing - Nothing You Can Do About It
As long as two people live together with strong views about any and everything, there is nothing neither can do about arguing except try to listen and do what the other wants.
Tempers will flare in any relationship and that is normal. People will grow cold toward one another. Some will act violently, while others will take a long walk. Some people choose the silent treatment. Although a dispute may start out okay doesn't necessarily mean it will end okay, so a person in a relationship must use wise judgment when defending his or her point of view.
If you think you can be in a relationship with a strong-minded individual and not argue, forget it! There are those who are strong minds that can be quiet and tune people out, but how long do you think they can get away with that? Someone somewhere is catching hell because someone in a controlling relationship simply doesn't know how to vent in a healthy way that gets his or her partner to listen. Meanwhile, the partner is a hot-head ready to blow up about the slightest thing, because his or her partner chooses not to communicate with him or her.
If you think you can manage, control or regulate someone to get you to behave in the way you want, you have your work cut out for you! For the naive, ignorant and previously abused, a controlling partner might have some success with getting his partner to behave. However, a person who is far removed from his or her youthful foolishness and doesn't have the patience or strength to deal with someone trying to manage them, will not sit quietly and let you talk (at least not for long) especially if what you are saying doesn't have anything to do with the topic at hand, appears that you are lying or side-stepping on the issues, or acting strangely.
There comes a point when you will either have to make yourself learn how to present issues in the relationship in a positive manner complete with a nice dining experience or just watch the movie and stay out of the turbulent scenes. It won't be easy, because most likely your leading lady or man will want to bring you into the drama.
Couples who started early on in the relationship disputing most likely will continue, but not as often (keeping in mind there isn't nothing seriously affecting their relationship) this usually happens due to age, personal improvements, workplace changes, etc. However, you never know what might keep a couple arguing for years. Hormonal issues, past problems, cheating, relatives, a newborn, teenagers, physical and emotional problems, alcohol or drug abuse, any issue like these can keep two people at each other's throats. Nothing can be done about the arguing until someone makes up in his or her mind to get the help he or she needs.
So when you argue a point, try to do it fairly, wisely and most of all limit the time you are doing it. Hopefully, there will be peace in your home after the storm.
Nicholl McGuire
Tempers will flare in any relationship and that is normal. People will grow cold toward one another. Some will act violently, while others will take a long walk. Some people choose the silent treatment. Although a dispute may start out okay doesn't necessarily mean it will end okay, so a person in a relationship must use wise judgment when defending his or her point of view.
If you think you can be in a relationship with a strong-minded individual and not argue, forget it! There are those who are strong minds that can be quiet and tune people out, but how long do you think they can get away with that? Someone somewhere is catching hell because someone in a controlling relationship simply doesn't know how to vent in a healthy way that gets his or her partner to listen. Meanwhile, the partner is a hot-head ready to blow up about the slightest thing, because his or her partner chooses not to communicate with him or her.
If you think you can manage, control or regulate someone to get you to behave in the way you want, you have your work cut out for you! For the naive, ignorant and previously abused, a controlling partner might have some success with getting his partner to behave. However, a person who is far removed from his or her youthful foolishness and doesn't have the patience or strength to deal with someone trying to manage them, will not sit quietly and let you talk (at least not for long) especially if what you are saying doesn't have anything to do with the topic at hand, appears that you are lying or side-stepping on the issues, or acting strangely.
There comes a point when you will either have to make yourself learn how to present issues in the relationship in a positive manner complete with a nice dining experience or just watch the movie and stay out of the turbulent scenes. It won't be easy, because most likely your leading lady or man will want to bring you into the drama.
Couples who started early on in the relationship disputing most likely will continue, but not as often (keeping in mind there isn't nothing seriously affecting their relationship) this usually happens due to age, personal improvements, workplace changes, etc. However, you never know what might keep a couple arguing for years. Hormonal issues, past problems, cheating, relatives, a newborn, teenagers, physical and emotional problems, alcohol or drug abuse, any issue like these can keep two people at each other's throats. Nothing can be done about the arguing until someone makes up in his or her mind to get the help he or she needs.
So when you argue a point, try to do it fairly, wisely and most of all limit the time you are doing it. Hopefully, there will be peace in your home after the storm.
Nicholl McGuire
Depression in Women - What Men Ought to Know - [Men Are Invited to Read This Article]
Healthy parents raise emotionally healthy babies and a mother’s influence towards the same is great. No body can deny it. Hence it is imperative that females should have good mental health. The reality is, about 20 to 25 percent of women suffers with depression in their life time against 7 to 12 percent of men. This shows that women are very much prone to depressed than men. Depression strikes older women more often than men
In addition to environmental stressors and psychosocial factors, women are also influenced by biological factors to get depressed. That is why women are much prone to getting depressed than men
Reproductive systems like menstrual cycle, pregnancy, post pregnancy, hormonal genetic systems, infertility, decision of not having children, menopause are the leading factors for getting depression for women as far as biological factors are concerned.
Also other factors like Psychological which are clusters of certain personality traits, physical or sexual abuse and inadequate ways of coping problems leads to depression in women. They also have difficulties, coping with the demands of adjustment in newly married lives. In any family women’s initiative in taking care of old parents and upbringing the children are crucial. In addition to that if a mom goes for work, then she has a great responsibility of managing both the work and family. This keeps her running all the time. If women is housewife or becomes old, then she gets a lonely feeling after the children goes for school or job and husband to work. She will start thinking that the busy husband and children are not hearing and understanding her feelings. And if there is no intimate relationship with the husband the problem will be still worse. It will be so severe in case of divorce.
Women face depression due to hormonal changes after giving birth to child. These hormones have an effect on the brain chemistry that controls emotions and mood.
1) Baby blues – It happens in the day’s right after childbirth. The mother’s mood will swing. One time she will be very happy and immediately she will become sad. They feel irritable, impatient, anxious and restless. This will be only for one to two weeks after delivery and do not require any medication .During this period the new mother should socialize with other new mothers. This will help them to become normal.
2) Postpartum depression (PPD) - It can happen immediately after giving birth or even months after child birth. This is strong and effective than baby blue and persists as long as one year. On seriousness it requires medication. This type of depression can happen after the birth of any child and not confined only to the first child.
3) Postpartum psychosis-It happens to new mother within three months after giving birth. This is serious and severe. The mother will go out of reality. The symptoms are insomnia and angry and they need treatment
Researchers indicate that 74.4% women are not depressed either antenatally or postnatally and 4.8% women are depressed on at least one of two occasions’ .But 1.4% women persistently depressed on both occasions.
During menstrual cycle, in some women there will be recurrent brief depression which will be very brief. Some women experience behavioral and physical changes during the phases of their menstrual cycle. In some women the changes begin after ovulation till menstruation starts. It is called Premenstrual syndrome (PMS) – If the same thing is very severe and occurs regularly with other emotional physical changes including irritability and depression then it is called premenstrual dysphonic disorder (PMDD) which requires medication.
In old age during the transition into menopause, some women experience an increased risk for depression. These problems are not for men. Hence women have double the chance of getting depressed than men.
Depression in women is very serious and as a chain reaction it affects the family. Even stress during pregnancy can increase the chance of child getting depressed when becoming an adult. Hence women should be careful and should be aware of depression on how to avoid it. During pregnancy men should take care of their partner and ensure their partner is happy.
The first thing is, all men should understand the biological factors of women which also lead to depression in them. Having understood about that, men should handle the feelings of women in women’s perspective. They should understand the responsibilities of women at workplace and in family. They should be supportive to women. Seventy five percent of the problem will get solved by this.
A woman cannot avoid the biological factors and family responsibility. But what is in her control is her approach towards the issues and how she manages it. Usually women who are very much pessimistic thinkers and having low self esteem are prone to depression.
Education which brings financial freedom for women plays an important role in improving self esteem. They should have good reasoning power and logical approach in dealing with the issues.
Women should be social, they should not be isolated. Having a good network of friends will help them to share the issues and get genuine inputs and solutions to solve problems; this certainly helps in the event of not able to solve the problems of their own. They should not be shy of sharing their problem with others. Women do not assume that others will think that they are worthless if they seek others help. In fact so many people will be glad to help.
For women--Avoid stress, have good eating habits. Think great of you. Always try to be happy. SMILE. Have good sleep. Importantly, plan your finances. Done, you won’t be affected by depression.
About the Author
http://sites.google.com/site/contenttree/ email: 1.rejuvenate@gmail.com
In addition to environmental stressors and psychosocial factors, women are also influenced by biological factors to get depressed. That is why women are much prone to getting depressed than men
Reproductive systems like menstrual cycle, pregnancy, post pregnancy, hormonal genetic systems, infertility, decision of not having children, menopause are the leading factors for getting depression for women as far as biological factors are concerned.
Also other factors like Psychological which are clusters of certain personality traits, physical or sexual abuse and inadequate ways of coping problems leads to depression in women. They also have difficulties, coping with the demands of adjustment in newly married lives. In any family women’s initiative in taking care of old parents and upbringing the children are crucial. In addition to that if a mom goes for work, then she has a great responsibility of managing both the work and family. This keeps her running all the time. If women is housewife or becomes old, then she gets a lonely feeling after the children goes for school or job and husband to work. She will start thinking that the busy husband and children are not hearing and understanding her feelings. And if there is no intimate relationship with the husband the problem will be still worse. It will be so severe in case of divorce.
Women face depression due to hormonal changes after giving birth to child. These hormones have an effect on the brain chemistry that controls emotions and mood.
1) Baby blues – It happens in the day’s right after childbirth. The mother’s mood will swing. One time she will be very happy and immediately she will become sad. They feel irritable, impatient, anxious and restless. This will be only for one to two weeks after delivery and do not require any medication .During this period the new mother should socialize with other new mothers. This will help them to become normal.
2) Postpartum depression (PPD) - It can happen immediately after giving birth or even months after child birth. This is strong and effective than baby blue and persists as long as one year. On seriousness it requires medication. This type of depression can happen after the birth of any child and not confined only to the first child.
3) Postpartum psychosis-It happens to new mother within three months after giving birth. This is serious and severe. The mother will go out of reality. The symptoms are insomnia and angry and they need treatment
Researchers indicate that 74.4% women are not depressed either antenatally or postnatally and 4.8% women are depressed on at least one of two occasions’ .But 1.4% women persistently depressed on both occasions.
During menstrual cycle, in some women there will be recurrent brief depression which will be very brief. Some women experience behavioral and physical changes during the phases of their menstrual cycle. In some women the changes begin after ovulation till menstruation starts. It is called Premenstrual syndrome (PMS) – If the same thing is very severe and occurs regularly with other emotional physical changes including irritability and depression then it is called premenstrual dysphonic disorder (PMDD) which requires medication.
In old age during the transition into menopause, some women experience an increased risk for depression. These problems are not for men. Hence women have double the chance of getting depressed than men.
Depression in women is very serious and as a chain reaction it affects the family. Even stress during pregnancy can increase the chance of child getting depressed when becoming an adult. Hence women should be careful and should be aware of depression on how to avoid it. During pregnancy men should take care of their partner and ensure their partner is happy.
The first thing is, all men should understand the biological factors of women which also lead to depression in them. Having understood about that, men should handle the feelings of women in women’s perspective. They should understand the responsibilities of women at workplace and in family. They should be supportive to women. Seventy five percent of the problem will get solved by this.
A woman cannot avoid the biological factors and family responsibility. But what is in her control is her approach towards the issues and how she manages it. Usually women who are very much pessimistic thinkers and having low self esteem are prone to depression.
Education which brings financial freedom for women plays an important role in improving self esteem. They should have good reasoning power and logical approach in dealing with the issues.
Women should be social, they should not be isolated. Having a good network of friends will help them to share the issues and get genuine inputs and solutions to solve problems; this certainly helps in the event of not able to solve the problems of their own. They should not be shy of sharing their problem with others. Women do not assume that others will think that they are worthless if they seek others help. In fact so many people will be glad to help.
For women--Avoid stress, have good eating habits. Think great of you. Always try to be happy. SMILE. Have good sleep. Importantly, plan your finances. Done, you won’t be affected by depression.
About the Author
http://sites.google.com/site/contenttree/ email: 1.rejuvenate@gmail.com
Relationship Communication Problems - The Crisis in Male-Female Conversation Crying Out For Attention
Relationship communication problems are very common. There are a number of ways we can look at what these basic relationship problems are all about.
One of the first things to say is it seems men are primarily responsible for the issues associated with marital and relationship problems to do with communication.
I imagine a lot of men reading the last sentence would become very defensive about that statement and think it is another example of male bashing.
On the other hand there is every chance many women reading it would identify with what is said and wholeheartedly agree with the statement.
Adele Horin, a columnist in the Sydney Morning Herald, writes about relationship communication problems. She says there is a "..shortage of men that women can relate to. The crisis in male-female conversation cries out for more attention. Relationships are being destroyed, or aborted at first date..."
She goes on "Say a woman has found a man... Before long she has detected the fatal flaw. 'He just doesn't listen. He won't talk to me.' She thinks it is an individual problem, and that a more sympathetic conversational mate can be found..But this conversational crisis is bigger than any individual. It is gender-wide. And it starts young."
Boys imitate the modeling of other men and she says, "..boys - with exceptions of course - soon develop the minimalist style mothers, girlfriends and wives despair of."
A male reader responded to Adele's column in the letters page of the "Herald". He wrote, "..The fact is women are terrible communicators."
He added, "Women arrogantly take the stance that their way is superior, against all the evidence, and refuse to be rational, constructive and inclusive. Instead of trying to change male behavior to suit themselves - a tactic that seems to be failing - perhaps it would be better to accept their own shortcomings and work on modifying them."
Can you imagine the relationship communication problems experienced with someone like this man. I think he is so extreme and when I first read it I thought he might have been saying all this with his tongue in his cheek, but I don't think so. I think he is serious.
Horin asks the question about how men are like this when she says, "Who knows how these patterns are established?"
I have some idea how it has happened and I will explain this and show how it has created relationship communication problems.
There has been a widespread belief in the world that men are superior to women. This was the accepted view for thousands of years. Some think this is no longer the case, yet there is ample evidence to suggest it is still firmly in place.
It is not my intention to expand on this here, but simply to state it as a fact. I am now going to show how this has impacted males to bring about the conversational crisis.
If, as males, we see ourselves as superior, this places us on a higher level and women on a lower level. On the whole, men seem unable to feel equal to women: they must be superior or they are inferior.
It's like a competition, it is win/lose. If I'm not in charge or on a higher level, then she will be, and I'll be on a lower level and she'll be in charge, and it's not supposed to be like that.
So when it comes to relationship communication problems, it is paramount men demonstrate how the proper structure is in place. What better way of doing this than not listening or taking any notice of women.
It is like men might as well be saying, "who do you think you are, you are not on my level, I don't have to listen to you, or acknowledge you. You don't count anyway, so what you have to say is not important."
When we listen to others, we are acknowledging they are on the same level, and are equally important to us.
Other aspects of this are, when it comes to feelings, if we see ourselves as being superior, it follows we are above all that. It's okay for you inferior lot to get caught up in that rubbish, as that is the stuff of weaklings, but we are not like that.
The other matter related to this that creates relationship communication problems, is the issue of the ability to understand and share the feelings of another - in other words empathy.
Men are notorious for their lack of empathy. It is just like the listening question. Given women are inferior and therefore don't count, why should men be concerned about how they feel, because women don't matter.
This is the only way I have been able to make sense of these relationship communication problems. I'm sure many women can identify with my explanation, and I hope I have given men some things to think about, and how they can make changes.
Author Bio: Leo Ryan is a counselor with over twenty years experience in the field dealing primarily with relationships. He has given many talks, seminars and workshops on the subject, as well as being interviewed by all sectors of the media about his work. He is passionate about people having great relationships, and his website is dedicated to that purpose.He is the author of the ebook "How to Have An Extraordinary Relationship". http://www.relationship-tips-for-you.com
One of the first things to say is it seems men are primarily responsible for the issues associated with marital and relationship problems to do with communication.
I imagine a lot of men reading the last sentence would become very defensive about that statement and think it is another example of male bashing.
On the other hand there is every chance many women reading it would identify with what is said and wholeheartedly agree with the statement.
Adele Horin, a columnist in the Sydney Morning Herald, writes about relationship communication problems. She says there is a "..shortage of men that women can relate to. The crisis in male-female conversation cries out for more attention. Relationships are being destroyed, or aborted at first date..."
She goes on "Say a woman has found a man... Before long she has detected the fatal flaw. 'He just doesn't listen. He won't talk to me.' She thinks it is an individual problem, and that a more sympathetic conversational mate can be found..But this conversational crisis is bigger than any individual. It is gender-wide. And it starts young."
Boys imitate the modeling of other men and she says, "..boys - with exceptions of course - soon develop the minimalist style mothers, girlfriends and wives despair of."
A male reader responded to Adele's column in the letters page of the "Herald". He wrote, "..The fact is women are terrible communicators."
He added, "Women arrogantly take the stance that their way is superior, against all the evidence, and refuse to be rational, constructive and inclusive. Instead of trying to change male behavior to suit themselves - a tactic that seems to be failing - perhaps it would be better to accept their own shortcomings and work on modifying them."
Can you imagine the relationship communication problems experienced with someone like this man. I think he is so extreme and when I first read it I thought he might have been saying all this with his tongue in his cheek, but I don't think so. I think he is serious.
Horin asks the question about how men are like this when she says, "Who knows how these patterns are established?"
I have some idea how it has happened and I will explain this and show how it has created relationship communication problems.
There has been a widespread belief in the world that men are superior to women. This was the accepted view for thousands of years. Some think this is no longer the case, yet there is ample evidence to suggest it is still firmly in place.
It is not my intention to expand on this here, but simply to state it as a fact. I am now going to show how this has impacted males to bring about the conversational crisis.
If, as males, we see ourselves as superior, this places us on a higher level and women on a lower level. On the whole, men seem unable to feel equal to women: they must be superior or they are inferior.
It's like a competition, it is win/lose. If I'm not in charge or on a higher level, then she will be, and I'll be on a lower level and she'll be in charge, and it's not supposed to be like that.
So when it comes to relationship communication problems, it is paramount men demonstrate how the proper structure is in place. What better way of doing this than not listening or taking any notice of women.
It is like men might as well be saying, "who do you think you are, you are not on my level, I don't have to listen to you, or acknowledge you. You don't count anyway, so what you have to say is not important."
When we listen to others, we are acknowledging they are on the same level, and are equally important to us.
Other aspects of this are, when it comes to feelings, if we see ourselves as being superior, it follows we are above all that. It's okay for you inferior lot to get caught up in that rubbish, as that is the stuff of weaklings, but we are not like that.
The other matter related to this that creates relationship communication problems, is the issue of the ability to understand and share the feelings of another - in other words empathy.
Men are notorious for their lack of empathy. It is just like the listening question. Given women are inferior and therefore don't count, why should men be concerned about how they feel, because women don't matter.
This is the only way I have been able to make sense of these relationship communication problems. I'm sure many women can identify with my explanation, and I hope I have given men some things to think about, and how they can make changes.
Author Bio: Leo Ryan is a counselor with over twenty years experience in the field dealing primarily with relationships. He has given many talks, seminars and workshops on the subject, as well as being interviewed by all sectors of the media about his work. He is passionate about people having great relationships, and his website is dedicated to that purpose.He is the author of the ebook "How to Have An Extraordinary Relationship". http://www.relationship-tips-for-you.com
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So you haven’t been in a relationship that long and you are already being accused of cheating when you know you haven’t. Chances are you ar...
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Ever find yourself dating the same type of person over and over, only to end up frustrated, heartbroken, or completely drained? Maybe you’ve...
She's Crazy by Nicholl McGuire
Dating or married to an angry woman?