Showing posts with label exs. Show all posts
Showing posts with label exs. Show all posts
Why Your Ex Doesn't Want You Back
He has his issues with his ex-girlfriend. She doesn't feel she can trust her
boyfriend. The more people keep inside
the worse things can get. This is why
many relationships come to a swift end.
Your ex may not want you back for any number of reasons. An important thing you should know is that if
you should force something that isn't meant to be, sooner or later you will
reap the consequences.
1. An ex may have
someone else that is showing him or her interest.
The two might not be dating, but whatever the chemistry, an
ex is curious. How can one emotionally
compete? Sometimes history together has
little to do with those growing feelings inside that tell a former partner,
"Why not explore new possibilities, he or she hasn't hurt you?"
2. The influence of
the ex's family and friends has a significant impact.
When an ex's ears are tuned into family there is little one
can do. His or her loved ones most
likely warned the ex from the start of the relationship it won't work. With enough pressure, an ex will not think
about jeopardizing his or her relationship with relatives, especially those who
give her or him much.
3. You blew it when
you wouldn't admit your wrongdoing.
Sometimes pride gets in the way and after awhile a partner
gives up on seeking truth. So if you
aren't transparent and you continue to lie, deny, minimize, and blame every
time a certain subject matter comes up, your former mate will shut down.
4. You have someone
else.
As strange as this may seem, but sometimes we chase after
the one that got away because there is something with a new partner that just
doesn't satisfy us. Even though we know
an ex isn't good for us and neither is the one we are dating, yet we let our
minds and hearts at times direct us where we shouldn't be. The ex picks up that your feelings are elsewhere, he or she isn't coming back.
5. Your ex has simply
moved on.
No explanation or analysis needed on why your ex doesn't
want you anymore. There isn't anyone
else, he or she isn't the least bit concerned about what loved ones think, and
couldn't care less about the time you two were together. This person just wants to get on with life
without you.
When you take a moment to think about things, you will feel
that maybe you aren't in love or like as much as you think with an ex. You may be lonely, in need of material wealth
or money, feel like a failure, or whatever else that has little to do with
winning an ex back, but has everything to do with getting personal desires
met. An ex might have seen negative
things about you that you have yet to discover about yourself and if this is
the case, why bother wondering anymore why he or she doesn't want you back, work on you!
Nicholl McGuire is an author and inspirational speaker. She is also the blog owner.
Nicholl McGuire is an author and inspirational speaker. She is also the blog owner.
How to Establish Boundaries with an Ex While Dating Others
The timing is usually all wrong when an ex wants to come back into your life. You are managing well personally and professionally. You are meeting some great guys or gals. The space to breathe and reconnect with your self has been most positive. Yet, there is a part of you that still has room for an ex-partner. You might love the thought of rekindling a romance with him or her or hate what might the future bring again. So how do you manage those emotions by giving an ex just one more chance?
1. Be realistic. This person hasn't changed in a week, two months, or a few years to the point that everything that was or still is wrong with him or her is completely removed. There will be some things that you still don't like about an ex that will show up sooner or later. Think about not only the good, but the bad too. List those issues and let them help you stay guarded with this person.
2. Fight the temptation to have sex. Romance and sexual intimacy doesn't heal, but enhances healthy, functional relationships. If there is dysfunction evident in any relationship, sex will just further complicate matters. Using physical romance to heal is like putting a band-aid on a broken bone. Put off talk about sex with an ex (you already know what it's like with him or her) and redirect your focus on those unresolved issues such as: the apologies you never received, lack of emotional support, cheating, lying, stealing, etc. whatever helped break you both up.
3. Stop lying to yourself. Until you face what you did to enable problems in the relationship, you will find yourself breaking every promise you told yourself you wouldn't do all over again. So be honest and do what you can to make past wrongs right.
4. Avoid moving in together especially to save money. Finances aren't nearly as important as inviting someone back into your life that could potentially wreck havoc on it. Slow down with the plans to cohabitate and the reasons why you should do it now rather than later. As soon as you open those doors, you will be opening yourself up to additional stress whether you choose to believe it or not. Cooking, cleaning, possible pregnancy, talk of marriage, in-laws, guests, respecting one's space, and more will still be topics of discussion.
5. Don't enable dysfunction. When those signs of control, denying, lying, blaming, etc. show back up again, it is safe to say you need to keep an ex at a distance. He or she might smile, joke or distract you from their true colors coming to the surface again. Don't fall for the tricks. State what you will not tolerate and create some distance so that you can carefully ponder whether getting back with an ex is indeed the right thing to do.
6. Don't share your personal feelings and experiences about your dates to the ex. Making a former lover jealous might bring some satisfaction to some people, but it is never a good idea if you one day hope to get back together with an ex.
When you know your worth and have a love for self, you will not tolerate anyone including an ex overstepping their boundaries in your life. You won't be nervous, fearful, or stressed about stating how you feel, because you know yourself and realize the significance of standing up for you. Life is too short and no one is worth losing your mind, body and spirit over.
1. Be realistic. This person hasn't changed in a week, two months, or a few years to the point that everything that was or still is wrong with him or her is completely removed. There will be some things that you still don't like about an ex that will show up sooner or later. Think about not only the good, but the bad too. List those issues and let them help you stay guarded with this person.
2. Fight the temptation to have sex. Romance and sexual intimacy doesn't heal, but enhances healthy, functional relationships. If there is dysfunction evident in any relationship, sex will just further complicate matters. Using physical romance to heal is like putting a band-aid on a broken bone. Put off talk about sex with an ex (you already know what it's like with him or her) and redirect your focus on those unresolved issues such as: the apologies you never received, lack of emotional support, cheating, lying, stealing, etc. whatever helped break you both up.
3. Stop lying to yourself. Until you face what you did to enable problems in the relationship, you will find yourself breaking every promise you told yourself you wouldn't do all over again. So be honest and do what you can to make past wrongs right.
4. Avoid moving in together especially to save money. Finances aren't nearly as important as inviting someone back into your life that could potentially wreck havoc on it. Slow down with the plans to cohabitate and the reasons why you should do it now rather than later. As soon as you open those doors, you will be opening yourself up to additional stress whether you choose to believe it or not. Cooking, cleaning, possible pregnancy, talk of marriage, in-laws, guests, respecting one's space, and more will still be topics of discussion.
5. Don't enable dysfunction. When those signs of control, denying, lying, blaming, etc. show back up again, it is safe to say you need to keep an ex at a distance. He or she might smile, joke or distract you from their true colors coming to the surface again. Don't fall for the tricks. State what you will not tolerate and create some distance so that you can carefully ponder whether getting back with an ex is indeed the right thing to do.
6. Don't share your personal feelings and experiences about your dates to the ex. Making a former lover jealous might bring some satisfaction to some people, but it is never a good idea if you one day hope to get back together with an ex.
When you know your worth and have a love for self, you will not tolerate anyone including an ex overstepping their boundaries in your life. You won't be nervous, fearful, or stressed about stating how you feel, because you know yourself and realize the significance of standing up for you. Life is too short and no one is worth losing your mind, body and spirit over.
Nicholl McGuire also provides insight on Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate. Check out her books here.
When the Ex Says He Still Misses, Loves You
The conversation is going well. Feelings are warm and before long comments about still liking or loving you begin to surface. For some of you, you don't know what to do when an ex does this. Others grow cold and rush to end the conversation. Then there are others who welcome to the chat and are struggling with all sorts of emotions.
You really didn't want to hear how an ex feels, and you think, "If he loved me so much he would have never..." So what do you do? Some things to think about when talking to exes who miss or still love you.
1. Always best not to respond. You say something it might come out wrong especially if you are in a relationship with someone else. Keep in mind feels of nostalgia, those good ole day moments, are temporal. Back to reality, remind yourself, "He is a liar, he cheated...he is boring, a jerk...I couldn't wait to get away from him, so why would I even think about a future with him?"
2. He hopes you will share how you feel, don't do it. For some men, they aren't interested in a relationship, they just want to feel wanted at least for the time-being and if they can get some sex, they will try hopefully with no strings attached. A wounded ego drives a man that may have had a hard day with a woman he is dating or currently married to, so an exe that can make him feel good with her voice, body or kind words is a nice stroke to his self-esteem.
3. Don't open the door and he won't be able to walk in. If you welcome an ex or any man's charm into your life, then his body is sure to follow. Stop caring so much about him, being inviting and desiring his affection, and offering your thoughts and body to the ex. How are you going to move on with your life when you play mind games with yourself and him? Many women break up with men for good reasons, but then forget when they too become lonely, sexually frustrated, or need some kind of help. It is never too late to stop those friendly conversations, touching, and visiting with the ex. Do it before you get hurt again!
4. He will promise never to hurt you again if you just give him one more chance. An ex will claim a lot of things when you are on his mind and things aren't going so well for him in his life. Don't believe the hype! Once the "I'm missing you" feelings fade away, it will be back to what drove you two apart in the first place. Jog your memory again. Think about the bad times.
Here are some things to do to stay out of a lonely, miserable ex's trap:
1. Shut your trap! That means your mouth and your you know what!
2. Avoid reminiscing about those good times.
3. Don't answer questions about feelings or respond to comments about how you make him feel.
4. Don't provide personal details about your current life especially involving a new mate.
5. Your ex might share some things about his life to entice you to say something. Remember he knows some aspects about your personality and he will try to trigger emotions like: jealousy, sexual desire, need, hope, love, and more. End the conversation, "Well, I got to go...nice talking...Take care."
6. Shorten your time with him over the phone or in-person. Also, keep in mind you never know who is watching or listening, so if you don't want rumors started, avoid long discussions with an ex.
7. When children are involved, contact them not him. Ask to speak to them. If need be, get them a cell phone so that you can call them directly. If he starts talking to you, remain quiet include a few "oh, huh, yes...wow...", and then go back to your request to speak to children. If you need to know certain things about your son or daughter, stick to the topic at hand. He knows that is what you are aiming to do so he just might say some things to anger you just to keep you on the phone longer or in his presence. Don't fall for it! Always have something to do. "Well, thanks so much for letting me speak to the kids...I have a lot to do, so I'm going to have to go...bye."
As tempting as it might be to talk to an ex about mutual friends, family and other people you know and common interests, avoid the discussion. Also, consider that one day a partner will share how he or she feels uncomfortable with how you communicate with an ex. You can be friendly about matters related to children or business, but anything outside of that will result in future conflict. If you still want a relationship with an ex, none of this applies. Just remember why you two broke up and let that be the determining factor on whether you should reconnect with him or let him go for good.
Nicholl McGuire shares spiritual insight on YouTube channel: nmenterprise7.
You really didn't want to hear how an ex feels, and you think, "If he loved me so much he would have never..." So what do you do? Some things to think about when talking to exes who miss or still love you.
1. Always best not to respond. You say something it might come out wrong especially if you are in a relationship with someone else. Keep in mind feels of nostalgia, those good ole day moments, are temporal. Back to reality, remind yourself, "He is a liar, he cheated...he is boring, a jerk...I couldn't wait to get away from him, so why would I even think about a future with him?"
2. He hopes you will share how you feel, don't do it. For some men, they aren't interested in a relationship, they just want to feel wanted at least for the time-being and if they can get some sex, they will try hopefully with no strings attached. A wounded ego drives a man that may have had a hard day with a woman he is dating or currently married to, so an exe that can make him feel good with her voice, body or kind words is a nice stroke to his self-esteem.
3. Don't open the door and he won't be able to walk in. If you welcome an ex or any man's charm into your life, then his body is sure to follow. Stop caring so much about him, being inviting and desiring his affection, and offering your thoughts and body to the ex. How are you going to move on with your life when you play mind games with yourself and him? Many women break up with men for good reasons, but then forget when they too become lonely, sexually frustrated, or need some kind of help. It is never too late to stop those friendly conversations, touching, and visiting with the ex. Do it before you get hurt again!
4. He will promise never to hurt you again if you just give him one more chance. An ex will claim a lot of things when you are on his mind and things aren't going so well for him in his life. Don't believe the hype! Once the "I'm missing you" feelings fade away, it will be back to what drove you two apart in the first place. Jog your memory again. Think about the bad times.
Here are some things to do to stay out of a lonely, miserable ex's trap:
1. Shut your trap! That means your mouth and your you know what!
2. Avoid reminiscing about those good times.
3. Don't answer questions about feelings or respond to comments about how you make him feel.
4. Don't provide personal details about your current life especially involving a new mate.
5. Your ex might share some things about his life to entice you to say something. Remember he knows some aspects about your personality and he will try to trigger emotions like: jealousy, sexual desire, need, hope, love, and more. End the conversation, "Well, I got to go...nice talking...Take care."
6. Shorten your time with him over the phone or in-person. Also, keep in mind you never know who is watching or listening, so if you don't want rumors started, avoid long discussions with an ex.
7. When children are involved, contact them not him. Ask to speak to them. If need be, get them a cell phone so that you can call them directly. If he starts talking to you, remain quiet include a few "oh, huh, yes...wow...", and then go back to your request to speak to children. If you need to know certain things about your son or daughter, stick to the topic at hand. He knows that is what you are aiming to do so he just might say some things to anger you just to keep you on the phone longer or in his presence. Don't fall for it! Always have something to do. "Well, thanks so much for letting me speak to the kids...I have a lot to do, so I'm going to have to go...bye."
As tempting as it might be to talk to an ex about mutual friends, family and other people you know and common interests, avoid the discussion. Also, consider that one day a partner will share how he or she feels uncomfortable with how you communicate with an ex. You can be friendly about matters related to children or business, but anything outside of that will result in future conflict. If you still want a relationship with an ex, none of this applies. Just remember why you two broke up and let that be the determining factor on whether you should reconnect with him or let him go for good.
Nicholl McGuire shares spiritual insight on YouTube channel: nmenterprise7.
Lying About the Ex to Cover Up the Truth About Self
So many enter into relationships hoping to sell the new person on the "new and improved Me" that they end up lying about who they sincerely are, exaggerate their skills, or leave out details about one's past. What's worse is comitted couples will put down exs in such a way as to make their current partners look better. Meanwhile, the lies and exaggerations of one's lover clouds vision, even common sense. Throw sex in the mix, and the niave mate doesn't see beyond whatever picture a spouse/partner is painting.
Some will use manipulative techniques when they think they might be losing some ground with the new person. Therefore, putting down an ex is one of many ways to distract a partner from the truth. Others will do this because they secretly still love, respect or admire an ex, but don't want the current person to know it.
Many individuals divorce husbands and wives or break up with boyfriends and girlfriends because they discover they have been lied to for months or even years! From white lies to lies of omission, the relationship's shaky foundation was built on nothing more than an "open communication" of lies! Oh, how some just love to talk about "how open we are with one another..." but woe to them! What is in darkness always comes to light--what better time than the start of a new year!
Couples arguing over what one has spent on this item and that one and where did unexplained money go in the joint account? Insecure women questioning men on their whereabouts and who they were talking to or texting on the phone. Angry men threatening to hurt their partners because they don't like to be questioned. Much story-telling flies out of nasty mouths, "That wasn't f^*k*ng me...I don't know about that...What the h*ll are you talking about? I love you, can't you see that!?" No, there is no love, just lust for sex, money, and power. One is protecting his or her assets in more ways than one.
These liars end up getting involved with others and so the cycle continues! Sometimes children are caught in the middle of all the silly head games. Liars will use sons and daughters to act as if their mother or father's former partner is the bad guy or gal for this reason or that one. A gullible new partner will of course pity "the poor children..." and will act as a rescuer. The ex has painted a fantasy world where he or she is either hero or villain turned hero. He or she might admit to some wrong-doing, but will downplay events as to appear like he or she is sane while everyone else is insane. "My ex was crazy...I needed to get away from my ex because...My ex did this...my ex said that and this is the reason why we aren't together" you fill in the blank. Did you really tell the truth about everything?
The reality is an ex is a flawed human being, just like you, and one should look at his or her own lifestyle before judging others. No matter how bad that person might have been, just be grateful you are free and do your best in your current relationship so that it won't end in disaster too. Consider what you have to deal with in your new relationship; rather than focus on an old one--there is always something you will have to tolerate with any man or woman if you want it to work.
Everyone has issues, some more than others, but how we handle those issues are left up to each one of us. You can only get a way with a lie or many lies before you are found out. Some have had their partner's backgrounds pulled, social networking sites scoped, and even connections interviewed only to find out that The One, who they are so-called madly in love with, is nothing more than a liar and a cheat.
We all must be mindful of reacting to exes as if they are bad people who are out to hurt their former lovers. Chances are the person with us might have hurt the ex back in some way or may have started much of the drama with a roaming eye, secrets, and of course lies! Exs are like lighthouses they shine on murky waters--they expose liars. But ignorant people, don't value good resources. Brainwashed individuals don't see truth. There isn't something so special about any one of us that makes all others terrible people even if the liar convinces you that "You are the best...you are wonderful...you are so great!" Although it is nice to be complimented and praised for one thing or another, we must realize that the man or woman with many words of flattery can be heartless, selfish, cruel, and arrogant. There is a good reason why he or she is an ex.
Nicholl McGuire is the author of Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate and Laboring to Love Myself
Some will use manipulative techniques when they think they might be losing some ground with the new person. Therefore, putting down an ex is one of many ways to distract a partner from the truth. Others will do this because they secretly still love, respect or admire an ex, but don't want the current person to know it.
Many individuals divorce husbands and wives or break up with boyfriends and girlfriends because they discover they have been lied to for months or even years! From white lies to lies of omission, the relationship's shaky foundation was built on nothing more than an "open communication" of lies! Oh, how some just love to talk about "how open we are with one another..." but woe to them! What is in darkness always comes to light--what better time than the start of a new year!
Couples arguing over what one has spent on this item and that one and where did unexplained money go in the joint account? Insecure women questioning men on their whereabouts and who they were talking to or texting on the phone. Angry men threatening to hurt their partners because they don't like to be questioned. Much story-telling flies out of nasty mouths, "That wasn't f^*k*ng me...I don't know about that...What the h*ll are you talking about? I love you, can't you see that!?" No, there is no love, just lust for sex, money, and power. One is protecting his or her assets in more ways than one.
These liars end up getting involved with others and so the cycle continues! Sometimes children are caught in the middle of all the silly head games. Liars will use sons and daughters to act as if their mother or father's former partner is the bad guy or gal for this reason or that one. A gullible new partner will of course pity "the poor children..." and will act as a rescuer. The ex has painted a fantasy world where he or she is either hero or villain turned hero. He or she might admit to some wrong-doing, but will downplay events as to appear like he or she is sane while everyone else is insane. "My ex was crazy...I needed to get away from my ex because...My ex did this...my ex said that and this is the reason why we aren't together" you fill in the blank. Did you really tell the truth about everything?
The reality is an ex is a flawed human being, just like you, and one should look at his or her own lifestyle before judging others. No matter how bad that person might have been, just be grateful you are free and do your best in your current relationship so that it won't end in disaster too. Consider what you have to deal with in your new relationship; rather than focus on an old one--there is always something you will have to tolerate with any man or woman if you want it to work.
Everyone has issues, some more than others, but how we handle those issues are left up to each one of us. You can only get a way with a lie or many lies before you are found out. Some have had their partner's backgrounds pulled, social networking sites scoped, and even connections interviewed only to find out that The One, who they are so-called madly in love with, is nothing more than a liar and a cheat.
We all must be mindful of reacting to exes as if they are bad people who are out to hurt their former lovers. Chances are the person with us might have hurt the ex back in some way or may have started much of the drama with a roaming eye, secrets, and of course lies! Exs are like lighthouses they shine on murky waters--they expose liars. But ignorant people, don't value good resources. Brainwashed individuals don't see truth. There isn't something so special about any one of us that makes all others terrible people even if the liar convinces you that "You are the best...you are wonderful...you are so great!" Although it is nice to be complimented and praised for one thing or another, we must realize that the man or woman with many words of flattery can be heartless, selfish, cruel, and arrogant. There is a good reason why he or she is an ex.
Nicholl McGuire is the author of Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate and Laboring to Love Myself
10 Things a Woman will Do When Still in Love with Ex
You have every right to question your girlfriend or wife about the ex especially if they have given you good reason. Despite what she says, the following actions are not okay in a relationship, and if you think they are then you are accepting her attempt to brainwash or deceive you into thinking that her negative and disrespectful behavior in the relationship is acceptable! She may tell you things like, “You are just jealous…insecure… you don’t know what you are talking about…it isn’t what you think…” Don’t ignore your gut on this one guys! She still has some unresolved feelings for the ex. Here’s what to look out for:
One. She frequently compares you to her ex.
Some men don’t really pay close attention to what their women are saying particularly when she is talking about the ex. When she brings him up, you should be listening for what she is and isn’t saying. If you are one of those guys who are more concerned about the latest stats on your favorite sports team then what your girlfriend or wife is saying about the ex (or any man for that matter,) then you will miss the clues she isn’t interested in you anymore. “My ex use to do that too…My ex use to say that…My ex and I use to go to that place together…” If you don’t want to hear about the ex, don’t bring up the ex, ask questions about the ex, or fake how you feel about her talking about the ex (or any man) at great length and with specific details. Admonish your girlfriend about how you feel about her constant comparisons and offer her the opportunity to be with the beloved ex if that’s what she wants.
Two. She talks often to him about things not related to the children with the ex.
If your girlfriend or wife doesn’t have any children or anything that tie her to the ex then why is he still around? You notice she often shares daily activities with the ex-boyfriend or husband like giving him updates about her family and friends, telling him about her goals, and other things she would typically share with you. Women who sincerely care about their current partners will not do or say things to make them feel jealous. The key to look out for when listening to her conversations with the ex is how long, how frequent, and how much personal and professional information she is giving to the ex. Sometimes the ex will lead her into a conversation about the past or something non-related to the subject matter (she can’t control what he says but she can control how she reacts.) Notice whether she is changing the subject or staying on the phone keeping him entertained? How often is she doing this? Does she primarily have these conversations away from you if you both live together? Don’t mention anything to your girlfriend or wife until you know the facts. Once you know what is going on, explain to her how her actions make you feel. But whatever you do, don’t scold her like a child. This can bring back bad memories from childhood: like those days when her parents use to eavesdrop on her phone calls, tell her how much time she was spending on the phone, and so on. Never approach her like a parent or you will get teen results such as her acting rebellious toward you for starters which will only set your relationship backward.
Three. She cooks for him.
A woman that spends time in the kitchen for her ex (even if he is an invalid) is a woman that is definitely showing signs she still cares for him deeply. Somewhere within her spirit, she still believes that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach even if he is her ex. If you don’t mind the arrangement, then by all means enjoy the mean with the ex, but if it doesn’t feel right, chances are there is something not quite right with the arrangement.
Four. She sends photos of herself to the ex.
Now is this really appropriate? Even if they are in business together, she should be considering a new business partner or sell her half of the business. There’s no reason why any woman in a committed relationship should be sending photos to exs. Ponder this for a moment, what do you think her ex-husband’s or ex-boyfriend’s girlfriend or new wife would think about seeing your girlfriend’s photos on her man’s computer?
Five. She tells her former lover, she misses and loves him.
When was the last time she told you this? But she can tell him that?! Why would she still be expressing her feelings to him if she is over him? Even if she still cares about the guy a little bit, she shouldn’t be telling him how she feels or you for that matter. Some information is better kept to oneself.
Six. She touches him.
Do you still touch your ex-girlfriend or ex-wife? Most likely you don’t, but if you do then what goes around comes back around again! Hugging, kissing, and/or hand holding with the ex means only one thing, “I still care…” Now depending on how the exchange is made, it may also mean we are still being intimate. However, a hug like the kind you give someone at a funeral or church service is altogether different and shouldn’t be misunderstood.
Seven. She invites him to events that you both are attending.
Something is strange if you keeping seeing the ex at these events you attend together. If they are working for the same company or attend the same church, understandable. But if you frequently see him at other events, there is something wrong. Could she be calling him and purposely arranging time with him at these social engagements? Does she disappear for a time at these events and you don’t know where she is hiding?
Eight. She shares intimate details about your relationship to him.
Another man shouldn’t know what you are doing to your girlfriend or wife privately. So how would he know? Oh yes, maybe one of her girlfriends spilled the beans then again maybe not. Consider this, why would she be talking to the ex about your private time with her anyway?
Nine. She spends time with the ex whether you know it or not.
Frequently cancelling dates with you, she isn’t at home when she told you she would be and seems increasingly angry and acts strange when you try to touch her, these are red flags. She may also pull disappearing acts even her family doesn’t know where she is half the time. Go with your gut on this one!
Ten. She flirts with the ex in front of you or out of your view.
She enjoys his company probably more than yours. You notice she perks up when he comes around and with you she doesn’t even smile a little bit. She could be bored with you while wishing to rekindle a lost romance with the ex. This one is a hard one to notice, you will most likely have to be very observant when the ex is around to see how she truly feels about him and you may also want to consider listening to some hearsay.
Your girlfriend or wife may or may not be trusted, but the only way you can tell is to redirect your attention from some of your hobbies and start paying attention to what’s going on in your relationship. She may have a great excuse for every single one of these previously mentioned activities and if you choose to accept them then you don’t need to read articles like these. However, if you aren’t one of those guys wearing blinders then consider everything discussed. Oftentimes women get away with cheating because of the following: the men are too busy cheating themselves, preoccupied with work, hanging out with the guys, seated in front of a computer or gaming system for hours, or watching sports every evening and weekends. If you sincerely want to take her mind off the ex, then be emotionally available to her. One thing that her ex knows that you may have not learned yet is where he failed in the relationship and if he is determined to get her back he will build up the mental and physical areas where he was once weak in his relationship with her--in other words, he will man up!
By Nicholl McGuire
One. She frequently compares you to her ex.
Some men don’t really pay close attention to what their women are saying particularly when she is talking about the ex. When she brings him up, you should be listening for what she is and isn’t saying. If you are one of those guys who are more concerned about the latest stats on your favorite sports team then what your girlfriend or wife is saying about the ex (or any man for that matter,) then you will miss the clues she isn’t interested in you anymore. “My ex use to do that too…My ex use to say that…My ex and I use to go to that place together…” If you don’t want to hear about the ex, don’t bring up the ex, ask questions about the ex, or fake how you feel about her talking about the ex (or any man) at great length and with specific details. Admonish your girlfriend about how you feel about her constant comparisons and offer her the opportunity to be with the beloved ex if that’s what she wants.
Two. She talks often to him about things not related to the children with the ex.
If your girlfriend or wife doesn’t have any children or anything that tie her to the ex then why is he still around? You notice she often shares daily activities with the ex-boyfriend or husband like giving him updates about her family and friends, telling him about her goals, and other things she would typically share with you. Women who sincerely care about their current partners will not do or say things to make them feel jealous. The key to look out for when listening to her conversations with the ex is how long, how frequent, and how much personal and professional information she is giving to the ex. Sometimes the ex will lead her into a conversation about the past or something non-related to the subject matter (she can’t control what he says but she can control how she reacts.) Notice whether she is changing the subject or staying on the phone keeping him entertained? How often is she doing this? Does she primarily have these conversations away from you if you both live together? Don’t mention anything to your girlfriend or wife until you know the facts. Once you know what is going on, explain to her how her actions make you feel. But whatever you do, don’t scold her like a child. This can bring back bad memories from childhood: like those days when her parents use to eavesdrop on her phone calls, tell her how much time she was spending on the phone, and so on. Never approach her like a parent or you will get teen results such as her acting rebellious toward you for starters which will only set your relationship backward.
Three. She cooks for him.
A woman that spends time in the kitchen for her ex (even if he is an invalid) is a woman that is definitely showing signs she still cares for him deeply. Somewhere within her spirit, she still believes that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach even if he is her ex. If you don’t mind the arrangement, then by all means enjoy the mean with the ex, but if it doesn’t feel right, chances are there is something not quite right with the arrangement.
Four. She sends photos of herself to the ex.
Now is this really appropriate? Even if they are in business together, she should be considering a new business partner or sell her half of the business. There’s no reason why any woman in a committed relationship should be sending photos to exs. Ponder this for a moment, what do you think her ex-husband’s or ex-boyfriend’s girlfriend or new wife would think about seeing your girlfriend’s photos on her man’s computer?
Five. She tells her former lover, she misses and loves him.
When was the last time she told you this? But she can tell him that?! Why would she still be expressing her feelings to him if she is over him? Even if she still cares about the guy a little bit, she shouldn’t be telling him how she feels or you for that matter. Some information is better kept to oneself.
Six. She touches him.
Do you still touch your ex-girlfriend or ex-wife? Most likely you don’t, but if you do then what goes around comes back around again! Hugging, kissing, and/or hand holding with the ex means only one thing, “I still care…” Now depending on how the exchange is made, it may also mean we are still being intimate. However, a hug like the kind you give someone at a funeral or church service is altogether different and shouldn’t be misunderstood.
Seven. She invites him to events that you both are attending.
Something is strange if you keeping seeing the ex at these events you attend together. If they are working for the same company or attend the same church, understandable. But if you frequently see him at other events, there is something wrong. Could she be calling him and purposely arranging time with him at these social engagements? Does she disappear for a time at these events and you don’t know where she is hiding?
Eight. She shares intimate details about your relationship to him.
Another man shouldn’t know what you are doing to your girlfriend or wife privately. So how would he know? Oh yes, maybe one of her girlfriends spilled the beans then again maybe not. Consider this, why would she be talking to the ex about your private time with her anyway?
Nine. She spends time with the ex whether you know it or not.
Frequently cancelling dates with you, she isn’t at home when she told you she would be and seems increasingly angry and acts strange when you try to touch her, these are red flags. She may also pull disappearing acts even her family doesn’t know where she is half the time. Go with your gut on this one!
Ten. She flirts with the ex in front of you or out of your view.
She enjoys his company probably more than yours. You notice she perks up when he comes around and with you she doesn’t even smile a little bit. She could be bored with you while wishing to rekindle a lost romance with the ex. This one is a hard one to notice, you will most likely have to be very observant when the ex is around to see how she truly feels about him and you may also want to consider listening to some hearsay.
Your girlfriend or wife may or may not be trusted, but the only way you can tell is to redirect your attention from some of your hobbies and start paying attention to what’s going on in your relationship. She may have a great excuse for every single one of these previously mentioned activities and if you choose to accept them then you don’t need to read articles like these. However, if you aren’t one of those guys wearing blinders then consider everything discussed. Oftentimes women get away with cheating because of the following: the men are too busy cheating themselves, preoccupied with work, hanging out with the guys, seated in front of a computer or gaming system for hours, or watching sports every evening and weekends. If you sincerely want to take her mind off the ex, then be emotionally available to her. One thing that her ex knows that you may have not learned yet is where he failed in the relationship and if he is determined to get her back he will build up the mental and physical areas where he was once weak in his relationship with her--in other words, he will man up!
By Nicholl McGuire
How to Win Ex Girlfriend Back With an Apology - 3 Quick Tips
A break up is something that is tough on everyone and you always try and beg for their love back but if this is what you have done you're already digging yourself a big hole. If you have made a big mistake and lost your girlfriends love constantly apologizing, begging, and saying you will change is not the path you want to take which is why I am writing this, I want to help you salvage you relationship and teach you how to win ex girlfriend back with an apology.
First thing you need to get clear in your head is that if you want to know how to win ex girlfriend back with an apology you can't be beating yourself up constantly you have to come to terms with the way things are. Yes this is a lot easier said than done and probably impossible but the trick to this is at least make it look like you have come to terms with what has happened. You can't let the emotion of your past mistake get in the way of what you are trying to accomplish and carrying that guilt and shame will only make things harder.
Secondly you need to know exactly what you are apologizing for, you can't just go in and start yelling and crying that you're sorry it has to be meaningful and heartfelt and if you don't even know what you are apologizing for it's the complete opposite of meaningful and heartfelt. when wondering how to win ex girlfriend back with an apology the most important and essential part of making the apology is just know what you're apologizing for and it will go a long way.
The apology that you now come up with has to address two points if you're serious about figuring out how to win ex girlfriend back. Make sure that you use the apology to convince your ex girlfriend that you have completely understood her point of view and also that you're one hundred percent ready to change that behavior. Don't start saying that you have already changed and you are a new man because lets face it you aren't and you won't be until you work things out for yourself.
If you cheated on her it's not the end of the world but again saying that you've changed will do nothing, you have to figure out for yourself why you cheated for yourself first and then you can talk to your girlfriend about it and let her know the process that you have gone through to come to terms with it and how you can make sure it won't happen again.
When you go to talk to your girlfriend, as you attempt to answer your question how to win back ex girlfriend, make sure you give her space to say what she has to say and listen with sincerity. Do all of the above and you're well on your way to getting her back.
By John Jordan Brady
First thing you need to get clear in your head is that if you want to know how to win ex girlfriend back with an apology you can't be beating yourself up constantly you have to come to terms with the way things are. Yes this is a lot easier said than done and probably impossible but the trick to this is at least make it look like you have come to terms with what has happened. You can't let the emotion of your past mistake get in the way of what you are trying to accomplish and carrying that guilt and shame will only make things harder.
Secondly you need to know exactly what you are apologizing for, you can't just go in and start yelling and crying that you're sorry it has to be meaningful and heartfelt and if you don't even know what you are apologizing for it's the complete opposite of meaningful and heartfelt. when wondering how to win ex girlfriend back with an apology the most important and essential part of making the apology is just know what you're apologizing for and it will go a long way.
The apology that you now come up with has to address two points if you're serious about figuring out how to win ex girlfriend back. Make sure that you use the apology to convince your ex girlfriend that you have completely understood her point of view and also that you're one hundred percent ready to change that behavior. Don't start saying that you have already changed and you are a new man because lets face it you aren't and you won't be until you work things out for yourself.
If you cheated on her it's not the end of the world but again saying that you've changed will do nothing, you have to figure out for yourself why you cheated for yourself first and then you can talk to your girlfriend about it and let her know the process that you have gone through to come to terms with it and how you can make sure it won't happen again.
When you go to talk to your girlfriend, as you attempt to answer your question how to win back ex girlfriend, make sure you give her space to say what she has to say and listen with sincerity. Do all of the above and you're well on your way to getting her back.
By John Jordan Brady
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She's Crazy by Nicholl McGuire
Dating or married to an angry woman?