10 Things a Woman will Do When Still in Love with Ex
You have every right to question your girlfriend or wife about the ex especially if they have given you good reason. Despite what she says, the following actions are not okay in a relationship, and if you think they are then you are accepting her attempt to brainwash or deceive you into thinking that her negative and disrespectful behavior in the relationship is acceptable! She may tell you things like, “You are just jealous…insecure… you don’t know what you are talking about…it isn’t what you think…” Don’t ignore your gut on this one guys! She still has some unresolved feelings for the ex. Here’s what to look out for:
One. She frequently compares you to her ex.
Some men don’t really pay close attention to what their women are saying particularly when she is talking about the ex. When she brings him up, you should be listening for what she is and isn’t saying. If you are one of those guys who are more concerned about the latest stats on your favorite sports team then what your girlfriend or wife is saying about the ex (or any man for that matter,) then you will miss the clues she isn’t interested in you anymore. “My ex use to do that too…My ex use to say that…My ex and I use to go to that place together…” If you don’t want to hear about the ex, don’t bring up the ex, ask questions about the ex, or fake how you feel about her talking about the ex (or any man) at great length and with specific details. Admonish your girlfriend about how you feel about her constant comparisons and offer her the opportunity to be with the beloved ex if that’s what she wants.
Two. She talks often to him about things not related to the children with the ex.
If your girlfriend or wife doesn’t have any children or anything that tie her to the ex then why is he still around? You notice she often shares daily activities with the ex-boyfriend or husband like giving him updates about her family and friends, telling him about her goals, and other things she would typically share with you. Women who sincerely care about their current partners will not do or say things to make them feel jealous. The key to look out for when listening to her conversations with the ex is how long, how frequent, and how much personal and professional information she is giving to the ex. Sometimes the ex will lead her into a conversation about the past or something non-related to the subject matter (she can’t control what he says but she can control how she reacts.) Notice whether she is changing the subject or staying on the phone keeping him entertained? How often is she doing this? Does she primarily have these conversations away from you if you both live together? Don’t mention anything to your girlfriend or wife until you know the facts. Once you know what is going on, explain to her how her actions make you feel. But whatever you do, don’t scold her like a child. This can bring back bad memories from childhood: like those days when her parents use to eavesdrop on her phone calls, tell her how much time she was spending on the phone, and so on. Never approach her like a parent or you will get teen results such as her acting rebellious toward you for starters which will only set your relationship backward.
Three. She cooks for him.
A woman that spends time in the kitchen for her ex (even if he is an invalid) is a woman that is definitely showing signs she still cares for him deeply. Somewhere within her spirit, she still believes that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach even if he is her ex. If you don’t mind the arrangement, then by all means enjoy the mean with the ex, but if it doesn’t feel right, chances are there is something not quite right with the arrangement.
Four. She sends photos of herself to the ex.
Now is this really appropriate? Even if they are in business together, she should be considering a new business partner or sell her half of the business. There’s no reason why any woman in a committed relationship should be sending photos to exs. Ponder this for a moment, what do you think her ex-husband’s or ex-boyfriend’s girlfriend or new wife would think about seeing your girlfriend’s photos on her man’s computer?
Five. She tells her former lover, she misses and loves him.
When was the last time she told you this? But she can tell him that?! Why would she still be expressing her feelings to him if she is over him? Even if she still cares about the guy a little bit, she shouldn’t be telling him how she feels or you for that matter. Some information is better kept to oneself.
Six. She touches him.
Do you still touch your ex-girlfriend or ex-wife? Most likely you don’t, but if you do then what goes around comes back around again! Hugging, kissing, and/or hand holding with the ex means only one thing, “I still care…” Now depending on how the exchange is made, it may also mean we are still being intimate. However, a hug like the kind you give someone at a funeral or church service is altogether different and shouldn’t be misunderstood.
Seven. She invites him to events that you both are attending.
Something is strange if you keeping seeing the ex at these events you attend together. If they are working for the same company or attend the same church, understandable. But if you frequently see him at other events, there is something wrong. Could she be calling him and purposely arranging time with him at these social engagements? Does she disappear for a time at these events and you don’t know where she is hiding?
Eight. She shares intimate details about your relationship to him.
Another man shouldn’t know what you are doing to your girlfriend or wife privately. So how would he know? Oh yes, maybe one of her girlfriends spilled the beans then again maybe not. Consider this, why would she be talking to the ex about your private time with her anyway?
Nine. She spends time with the ex whether you know it or not.
Frequently cancelling dates with you, she isn’t at home when she told you she would be and seems increasingly angry and acts strange when you try to touch her, these are red flags. She may also pull disappearing acts even her family doesn’t know where she is half the time. Go with your gut on this one!
Ten. She flirts with the ex in front of you or out of your view.
She enjoys his company probably more than yours. You notice she perks up when he comes around and with you she doesn’t even smile a little bit. She could be bored with you while wishing to rekindle a lost romance with the ex. This one is a hard one to notice, you will most likely have to be very observant when the ex is around to see how she truly feels about him and you may also want to consider listening to some hearsay.
Your girlfriend or wife may or may not be trusted, but the only way you can tell is to redirect your attention from some of your hobbies and start paying attention to what’s going on in your relationship. She may have a great excuse for every single one of these previously mentioned activities and if you choose to accept them then you don’t need to read articles like these. However, if you aren’t one of those guys wearing blinders then consider everything discussed. Oftentimes women get away with cheating because of the following: the men are too busy cheating themselves, preoccupied with work, hanging out with the guys, seated in front of a computer or gaming system for hours, or watching sports every evening and weekends. If you sincerely want to take her mind off the ex, then be emotionally available to her. One thing that her ex knows that you may have not learned yet is where he failed in the relationship and if he is determined to get her back he will build up the mental and physical areas where he was once weak in his relationship with her--in other words, he will man up!
By Nicholl McGuire
One. She frequently compares you to her ex.
Some men don’t really pay close attention to what their women are saying particularly when she is talking about the ex. When she brings him up, you should be listening for what she is and isn’t saying. If you are one of those guys who are more concerned about the latest stats on your favorite sports team then what your girlfriend or wife is saying about the ex (or any man for that matter,) then you will miss the clues she isn’t interested in you anymore. “My ex use to do that too…My ex use to say that…My ex and I use to go to that place together…” If you don’t want to hear about the ex, don’t bring up the ex, ask questions about the ex, or fake how you feel about her talking about the ex (or any man) at great length and with specific details. Admonish your girlfriend about how you feel about her constant comparisons and offer her the opportunity to be with the beloved ex if that’s what she wants.
Two. She talks often to him about things not related to the children with the ex.
If your girlfriend or wife doesn’t have any children or anything that tie her to the ex then why is he still around? You notice she often shares daily activities with the ex-boyfriend or husband like giving him updates about her family and friends, telling him about her goals, and other things she would typically share with you. Women who sincerely care about their current partners will not do or say things to make them feel jealous. The key to look out for when listening to her conversations with the ex is how long, how frequent, and how much personal and professional information she is giving to the ex. Sometimes the ex will lead her into a conversation about the past or something non-related to the subject matter (she can’t control what he says but she can control how she reacts.) Notice whether she is changing the subject or staying on the phone keeping him entertained? How often is she doing this? Does she primarily have these conversations away from you if you both live together? Don’t mention anything to your girlfriend or wife until you know the facts. Once you know what is going on, explain to her how her actions make you feel. But whatever you do, don’t scold her like a child. This can bring back bad memories from childhood: like those days when her parents use to eavesdrop on her phone calls, tell her how much time she was spending on the phone, and so on. Never approach her like a parent or you will get teen results such as her acting rebellious toward you for starters which will only set your relationship backward.
Three. She cooks for him.
A woman that spends time in the kitchen for her ex (even if he is an invalid) is a woman that is definitely showing signs she still cares for him deeply. Somewhere within her spirit, she still believes that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach even if he is her ex. If you don’t mind the arrangement, then by all means enjoy the mean with the ex, but if it doesn’t feel right, chances are there is something not quite right with the arrangement.
Four. She sends photos of herself to the ex.
Now is this really appropriate? Even if they are in business together, she should be considering a new business partner or sell her half of the business. There’s no reason why any woman in a committed relationship should be sending photos to exs. Ponder this for a moment, what do you think her ex-husband’s or ex-boyfriend’s girlfriend or new wife would think about seeing your girlfriend’s photos on her man’s computer?
Five. She tells her former lover, she misses and loves him.
When was the last time she told you this? But she can tell him that?! Why would she still be expressing her feelings to him if she is over him? Even if she still cares about the guy a little bit, she shouldn’t be telling him how she feels or you for that matter. Some information is better kept to oneself.
Six. She touches him.
Do you still touch your ex-girlfriend or ex-wife? Most likely you don’t, but if you do then what goes around comes back around again! Hugging, kissing, and/or hand holding with the ex means only one thing, “I still care…” Now depending on how the exchange is made, it may also mean we are still being intimate. However, a hug like the kind you give someone at a funeral or church service is altogether different and shouldn’t be misunderstood.
Seven. She invites him to events that you both are attending.
Something is strange if you keeping seeing the ex at these events you attend together. If they are working for the same company or attend the same church, understandable. But if you frequently see him at other events, there is something wrong. Could she be calling him and purposely arranging time with him at these social engagements? Does she disappear for a time at these events and you don’t know where she is hiding?
Eight. She shares intimate details about your relationship to him.
Another man shouldn’t know what you are doing to your girlfriend or wife privately. So how would he know? Oh yes, maybe one of her girlfriends spilled the beans then again maybe not. Consider this, why would she be talking to the ex about your private time with her anyway?
Nine. She spends time with the ex whether you know it or not.
Frequently cancelling dates with you, she isn’t at home when she told you she would be and seems increasingly angry and acts strange when you try to touch her, these are red flags. She may also pull disappearing acts even her family doesn’t know where she is half the time. Go with your gut on this one!
Ten. She flirts with the ex in front of you or out of your view.
She enjoys his company probably more than yours. You notice she perks up when he comes around and with you she doesn’t even smile a little bit. She could be bored with you while wishing to rekindle a lost romance with the ex. This one is a hard one to notice, you will most likely have to be very observant when the ex is around to see how she truly feels about him and you may also want to consider listening to some hearsay.
Your girlfriend or wife may or may not be trusted, but the only way you can tell is to redirect your attention from some of your hobbies and start paying attention to what’s going on in your relationship. She may have a great excuse for every single one of these previously mentioned activities and if you choose to accept them then you don’t need to read articles like these. However, if you aren’t one of those guys wearing blinders then consider everything discussed. Oftentimes women get away with cheating because of the following: the men are too busy cheating themselves, preoccupied with work, hanging out with the guys, seated in front of a computer or gaming system for hours, or watching sports every evening and weekends. If you sincerely want to take her mind off the ex, then be emotionally available to her. One thing that her ex knows that you may have not learned yet is where he failed in the relationship and if he is determined to get her back he will build up the mental and physical areas where he was once weak in his relationship with her--in other words, he will man up!
By Nicholl McGuire
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