Dating Advice, Relationship Problems

Check out this new podcast by Nicholl McGuire, blogger of this site.  Thought-provoking commentary regarding relationship and dating topics that affect men and women. Why Men are Drawn to Weak Women

There will be a time in a man or woman's life that he or she will meet someone and fall deeply in love losing all sense of self, purpose, and direction. Personal dreams will be put aside, goals will be undetermined, and life will carry on blissfully without a single care in the world for the sake of a relationship. Then one day, the couple is hit with the reality of disagreements, insults, anger outbursts and illness; it is then that the barrage of incredible love and lust begins to take a downward turn. Now one is reflecting back on the mistakes he or she made early on in the relationship. "Is it too late to set boundaries? Is it too soon to end the relationship? Is my partner experiencing what I am feeling?" The questions abound in one’s mind disappointed at how soon these rising feelings came crashing down.  Doubts keep him or her up late at night sometimes wondering what went wrong? Here are some thoughts on what could have went wrong during those early da...

What's the rush to hop in a bed with a new friend or a lover?  You just might regret your decision soon after.  Dates can become increasingly controlling once they have had a taste of a good bedroom experience.  They can also be demanding too!  "So I was thinking about marriage...I was wondering about us living together...What do you think about quitting your job and relocating to...?"  What!?  You might be thinking, but when couples move fast, it won't be long before talk of marriage and a baby in a carriage is soon to follow.  So when is the best time to take a relationship beyond the dating experience?  When you have been through a series of challenging and controversial situations with your date. If you have yet to observe your date under pressure and haven't had a serious enough argument where your palms are sweaty and your voice is loud, then why bother promising anything?  From a gift to sex, hold off on all those thi...

Any criticism that brings out one's flaws is not going to be well-received no matter how nice you state what is bothering you.  Sure, he or she will smile and say, "Thanks for telling me," but if this person is the sensitive type, vindictive, typically rude, or thinks more highly of his or her self than he or she ought, they are going to feel bad about what you said. So he has smelly feet, she has stinky breath, and the both of you could use a bath, how might we communicate those things about the other in a way that hopefully won't come back to haunt us later? 1.  Get to the point. Mention the flaw in a way that you aren't saying, "You need to...You should...You ought to...You might want to..."  Notice all the Yous?  Starting "you" off when talking to someone is like taking your finger and pointing it in the person's face depending on your facial expression and tone of voice.  Instead of beginning with a you statement say, "What ...

For some men and women who like one another a lot, they really don't know what to call their partnerships, relationships or friendships.  They date, attend events together periodically, and may even date other people, but emotions between the two are signaling something that says, "He might be the one...I want something serious...I don't want to let her go.  I can't stand when he goes out with other women." Jealous emotions tend to rise within you when you desire something more from someone that you just aren't getting.  That special someone seems to be having a good time a part from you, appearing to like another more than you, and may have some great things happening to him or her.  You want to be a part of your friend's world, but your position has yet to be defined.  If you are in that space of not knowing who or what you are to this person, then you will want to have a serious conversation that will make your date begin to think ab...

When you are in love, you don't want to think about the "what ifs" when it comes to the future of your relationship, rather all you want to do is bask in the glory of being loved and loving!  You don't want anyone telling you anything either, for fear that they might bring a negative energy to your partnership. For now, you might simply believe that your new lover is much better, nicer, sweeter, etc. then that last one.  But the truth of the matter is, maybe this person is better, but you haven't changed much if not at all.  You are still that person you were who your last partner complained about "...not ever having this, not ever wanting to do that, and why are you always...?"  Maybe for now you are doing certain things for your partner, because you want to make a good impression, but sooner or later that old person in you is going to show up (that is unless you have a faith and feel accountable to the Lord then you might suppress him/her).  When the...

In 2008, there was a reality show entitled,  Beauty and The Geek .  It was advertised back then as a social experiment.  Beautiful women with low IQs were paired up with men high in intellect, but weak in social skills.  After watching episodes of this show and thinking back to my own dating experiences, I reasoned the only way that one could manage to stay with the other is if he or she would be able to compromise a big chunk of who he or she was when the lights and camera were put away.  Unless a person is constantly evolving and willing to try new things, in other words come out of his or her shell, a relationship like this simply can't work. There are always those exceptions to the rule.  The married couple who have been together for 30 plus years.  The college guy dating the ditz.  The broke, busted and disgusted beautiful girl dating the geeky looking computer guy.  Kudos to them!  However, let's just be honest.  How ma...

It's a new year, happy new year to you and yours!  You know when a new year comes, people can't help but start looking around for things to clean up.  One area of their lives they start to take a closer look at is their relationships--uh oh!  Now this article doesn't suggest any break up tips or anything that would cause more challenges in your relationship.  But what this article does do is encourage you to learn more about that person you are dating, living with, engaged to, or just creeping with on the side.  Oh yeah, some of you reading this have been playing two even three partners and you know that it's time to get serious this year!  Narrow your choice down to one, so that you can focus on other things like your career for starters! So what should you know about your partner?  You should know more than your neighbors that's for sure!  Some couples are so busy doing other things that the neighbors know their schedules.  These cou...

Building trust in a new relationship is like building a fortress one block at a time. It may become deep and impenetrable or it may become sloppy with tiny holes. It all depends on how much effort you put into it and how solid you make the foundation. You of course want a solid foundation with no holes because it can be hard to fill those holes in later. Those holes, or suspicious moments, hang around in the back of people minds and get referred to when another 'hole' appears. The more holes you have the less stable your relationship is and the harder it becomes to make it solid. Here are a few things to remember when building your fortress of trust. Be the real you at all times - If you are acting a certain way trying to please your partner you have to know that one day you will feel comfortable enough to be your real self. When that day comes your partner will wonder where the other real you, who was really the fake you, went. This is not just a hole but a h...

When you both started going out things were great! Of course, they were, she never said a single word to hurt you and you never did anything to make her feel bad -- you were both still getting to know one another! But one day or many days of fighting changed all that! At first you said nothing and excused her emotions as her just having a bad day, but her mood swings became more frequent. Meanwhile, she accuses you of changing too. "You just aren't that great guy anymore either. What happened?" she says. You are thinking, "How did this beautiful woman go from saying 'Please, thank you, I can't live without you'" to "I hate you! I wish I never met you! Just get me what I ask for!" You will need to start brainstorming if you haven't received a clear answer from her on what you could be doing to drive her crazy. She may have already told you, but she was talking so fast, crying, screaming and doing other things that you simply forg...

We have all been guilty of it -- allowing so much time to pass staying indoors lovemaking that we forget how to date outside of the covers. In time, we grow bored with one another and wish that we would have taken it slow. Well if you feel like your relationship is headed in that direction, then do something, anything to keep it fresh especially if you aren't a mother or father yet! Once you both realized your pregnant, things change and don't let anyone tell you any different! Your time is not your own when the newborn shows up! All the sweet talking about how great a family would be is nice when there is no family to worry over. All the wonderful visions of a daughter with eyes like yours and a son with a grin like his are beautiful, but put that off for as long as you can! Spend a lot of time appreciating, learning, and spending time with one another. If more couples would have taken this kind of advice seriously, they wouldn't be openly or secretly resenting thei...