Showing posts with label sex. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sex. Show all posts

Sex That's All You Might Have in Common with a Partner

It happens, you end up with a partner that doesn't have too much to say outside of flirting, suggestions to have sex, and intimate talk about the next time you will have sex (sigh).  Doesn't this guy or gal know something more than sex?



When you don't have much in common but sex, it can be a challenge to have a quality relationship that goes the distance.  Think of those moments you really hit it off with someone, you did more than talk and have sex didn't you?

You fool yourself into thinking that there will be more in the future to discover about this person.  Usually whatever "more" is it just isn't as exciting and fun when your mind is programmed to say and do sexy things most often with this individual.



Find other things to think about and test this person on what he or she really wants from you besides sex.  Ask about personal interests outside the bedroom that inspire him or her to live his or her best life now.  Suggest places to see and recreational things to do together that don't involve heavy petting or sex like visiting an arcade, rock wall climbing, checking out a museum, touring a community, playing a sport, attending a concert, etc. 

You just might be disappointed about what you will learn about the person like he or she really isn't your ideal match for starters especially when he or she repeatedly turns down your suggestions.  It is better to know sooner rather than later that the only thing you two have is sex in common.

Nicholl McGuire is the author of Too Much, Too Soon Internet Dating Blues and other books.

Sex Changes Your Life

You want change to happen in your life. You are tired of having empty relationships with people. These dating experiences start off well, but then once sex occurs rather than get better they cycle downward. What happens between professing “I like you” and “I love you” while having sex that make people act like fools! This article explores the “why” and challenges you to think about why you shouldn’t waste valuable years, like others you may know, giving your “power” away to ungrateful, non-committed individuals.

First, what does it mean to give your “power” away more specifically your “sexual power”? In all of us we are comprised of mind, body, and spirit. When we agree to have sex with someone who may not be someone that is right for us, we are giving various parts of who we are mentally, physically, spiritually (and when moving in together) materially. We falsely assume we will receive something in return for all the energy we have vested into the relationship. Unfortunately, for many of us we have given so much energy, feelings, thoughts, ideas, belongings, and other things away when we lay down with someone. Having sex makes us vulnerable and when we are engaging in it with the right someone we are mentally and physically charged just like powering up a battery for a car, toy or some electronic device once it’s going the object will do what it was created to do.



When we are powered up spiritually, we will do what we are supposed to do, people who don’t understand things from a spiritual level never seem to be charged up for the long haul, they run a sprint, but when they need to run for miles they give out and never make the finish line (ie. divorce, adultery, separation, abuse, etc.) Rather, they are always mentally and physically “tired.” Here are some examples of what these spiritually draining sexual beings will say, “I’m tired of sex this way…I’m tired of empty sex…I’m tired of sex with her…I’m tired of having to wait for sex…I’m tired of you asking me for sex…I’m tired of worrying over whether he is having sex with someone else.” Sex does sap your physical energy, but it doesn’t have to take away from everything else too!

Now while we are thinking consciously about sex, we are also thinking about it subconsciously and this is when we tend to make the most mistakes. We allow our subconscious mind to fantasize about the “use to” and the “hope to” rather than face the facts that the conscious mind gives us like “I know she isn’t always a nice person so she could just be acting this way because she misses sex with me…and I need more than just sex from him and I hope he realizes that.” If the subconscious mind says, “We are having sex…”and the conscious mind says “We are not, I rather wait” then that is when we get into trouble for sending “mixed messages” to others.

Let’s meet Sam, known for being a player in the neighborhood. He use to be an attractive, fit young man, but the years have taken their toll on old Sam and now he looks like he is a year or two from the grave. When you listen to Sam talk about his past, he brags about the many sexual escapades he had and how he “use to do… use to have…use to look like…”

Notice how often washed-up Sammy mentions “use to” in his conversations. The reason why he does this is because his past and his present is pitiful and to make him feel better about himself in the presence of most likely nice-looking you he will brag about the past. In fact, Sammy didn’t know how powerful he could have been back in his day if he allowed his spirit to override his flesh. Meaning that if he had a bit of self-control and wasn’t so anxious to see the next hot body naked, he probably would have had and kept a “good” woman that would have slowed old Sammy’s prematurely aging body.

Sam is what some would call an “old fool,” simply because he never bothered to sit down and create a plan for his life and actually live it out. Instead, as “the feeling” moved him he went with it. If the feeling was warm he would act on impulse, cold he would open up his black book to find someone to make him warm again. The problem was that everything in his life was affected by his sexual encounters. When he slept with a woman she would later ask for a commitment, he would make her feel like she was the one and then when another came along he would tell her the same.

Eventually, one of the two women would get smart to his game and unfortunately poor Sam has a few nasty scars on his body as a result of his cheating ways. Not only that his children aren’t in his life, friendships were broken, money was long spent, precious family heirlooms stolen due to Sammy’s obsession with sex and the few minutes of pleasure it gave him until the woman, game or both grew old then he had to find something else to fulfill him such as drugs, gambling, and alcohol. If Sam would have told the young men he was supposed to be mentoring the truth, he would say, “I messed up my life. I let the “little man” dictate major life decisions. Now I am old with no wife and no children who bother with me. I wish I knew my children and they knew me, but I messed up and I don’t want you to do the same.” But as mentioned before, Sammy is a player and those who aren’t about to get their player card revoked by the young players in the game will not admit their faults in life – for they have too much pride.

Now, women can’t be left out of this article. There are those Jezebels out there who think that all they have to do is decorate their selves up like a Christmas tree and life will be happy ever after. The truth is that often Jezebel is mentally and physically abused because of one thing, she like Sam, performed sexually without a “real” commitment and we aren’t talking about promise rings, engagement rings that rest on fingers for years, or a wedding date that gets postponed every time there is a challenge that comes up in the relationship. She justifies her mistake with, “Well I didn’t want to get married anyway.” The truth is that somewhere down deep in every man and woman’s spirit is the word “commitment,” because if it wasn’t why do we experience that envious feeling that comes over us when our partner says, “I am going out on a date…” although your “partner” is just “a friend,” “boyfriend,” “girlfriend,” or fiancĂ©. Why do you wonder what they are up to, why call them hoping to find out details of where they have been, why say you like or love them, why even care about them if you could care less about a commitment?

So what if you don’t want to be like Sammy or act like Jezebel and you just want to be with a nice woman or man and “try” to live happily ever after, then don’t have sex until you know that you have a date in mind to tell your woman or man, “I love you and I am willing to spend the rest of my life with you this month on this specific date. We can have a wedding later, but a marriage as soon as possible!” Then you go down to the Justice of the Peace and make it happen. Even better, wait for sex which I know from personal experience can be extremely difficult! That’s right wait until he picks you up and drives you to the courthouse, wait until your mom and dad can help you pay for a “real” wedding, wait until he relocates to where you are, wait until your partner accepts God and actually walks the walk and talks the talk, wait until he is off of probation, wait until your children are living with the other parent, but wait! Whatever your wait is, do it! If you are a Christian, you may even say I am waiting on God – good for you! If more people waited at the stoplight until it turned green, there would be less car crashes. Whatever your red light is in your life at this moment, sit there and wait until you have enough signs that show green!

Nicholl McGuire is the author of Socially Sweet, Privately Cruel Abusive Men and She's Crazy


How to Know Whether a Date Wants You for More than Sex

Sometimes one must turn back the bedroom covers for awhile and really have that long talk with self.  No one wants to be used and abused, yet so many women and men allow this sort of thing to happen for any number of reasons.  Manipulators take advantage of the weak-minded who talk negatively about themselves.  They pretend as if they care so much about their sex partners, when in fact all that want is to experience a sexual release over and over again until they get weary of the body who once gave them so much pleasure.

You can prevent yourself from having much emotional turmoil in the future, if you can view your relationship like one who is looking on the outside in.  Do you really want to be just another lover or do you want something more?  Whatever more is, it should be something that benefits not only your physical needs, but your emotional and spiritual well-being.  Take a moment to self-evaluate.

1.  Does he take interest in other areas of your life?

2.  Does she mention talking about you to others?

3.  Does this person make plans to see more of you outside of the bedroom?

4.  When you are in need of financial assistance, help around your residence, or something from the store, does he or she make his or her self available or do you have to be always there for him or her?

5.  Do you have interesting conversations that include an exchange of personal thoughts and feelings?

6.  When you are together, do you feel like this person sincerely wants you around for a long time?

Once you have determined where your mind, body and spirit stands with your lover, start planning to discuss your needs and what your hopes are for the future with this individual, if he or she acts uninterested or gives you a hard time about what you are discussing, start thinking about a future without him or her.

Nicholl McGuire
 

The Side Effects of Going Without Sex

When was the last time you had sex? If you answered, “last night” then this article isn’t for you. Check out my articles on other relationship topics. However, for those people who can’t remember when they last had sex or choose to deliberately go without sex, this article is for you. There are many reasons people go without sex. Your mate or you may be going without it for religious reasons, a pregnancy, illness, a lack of trust, or dare I say it, for strategic reasons. Sad but true, some people will cut off sex in their relationships if they feel other needs aren’t being met such as a desire to marry, obtain material possessions, and receive attention.

Whatever your reason or your mate’s for not having sex, the following ten points will help you understand and prepare for the “side effects” that may happen.

Irritability. It’s like the feeling you get when someone calls you too many times to do something. The slightest thing that happens around you sets you off, because you just want to be left alone. A mentally stable human being is designed to desire another’s affections. As early as infancy we knew to cry to get someone’s attention whether it was to be fed, held, changed, or something else. A touch would let us know as babies that someone is tending to our needs. As adults if we don’t receive a touch from the one we love, we can easily assume this person isn’t interested in tending to our needs.

Anger Outbursts. Someone or something just may catch one of these. It may be a small oversight on the part of our mate, they may have forgotten to do or say something, so we explode. The real reason we are angry isn’t about the forgotten things, but it is really due to the lack of sexual intimacy.

Insecurity. “Where were you last night? Who called you? What are you looking at on the Internet?” If he or she hasn’t asked you so many questions before, then it is fair to assume that the lack of sex is catching up to him or her. However, you might be the one asking the questions and if so, then you may need to make the time to communicate your needs, reach a compromise, and hopefully make love some day soon.

Sadness. This feeling will suddenly come without notice. You will begin to think about the past and how great it felt being sexually active with your mate. The feelings of sadness may be so intense at times it may make you cry. Be careful because this feeling can easily turn into a depression if it lingers too long. Watch out if you find that you or your mate is beginning to let their appearance and body go downhill and if the things they use to enjoy they don’t anymore.

Withdrawal. This reaction may result from the depression. He or she isn’t interested in communicating with you anymore or vice versa. You may find he or she is annoying now that the two of you aren’t intimate.

Temptations. He or she may begin to take notice of co-workers and friends. This may be happening with you too. If you find that your mate is talking about one particular person more than others or suddenly becoming very vague about the details of his or her day, this is a warning that slowly but surely a casual lunch may turn into a bedroom romp.

Dreams. Have you ever dreamed of an ex or an attractive co-worker? It doesn’t necessarily mean you want to be with them (unless you secretly do,) but it could mean that you and your mate have some unresolved differences that need to be addressed. The ex and co-worker are also symbolic of a desire to escape the problems of your current relationship and a reminder of what you need to do in your waking life to make things right before it’s too late.

Negative Thoughts/ Finding Faults. At times you may experience feelings of dislike, anger toward your lover or place blame. You will begin to ponder on his or her flaws as a way to turn off feelings of wanting to be with them. You may think, “She isn’t all that pretty anyway. I don’t know what I ever saw in her.” Don’t take these thoughts too seriously. This is just your mind and body warning you that you are on your way to falling out of love with him or her if you or they don’t start changing attitudes about sexual intimacy.

Eye Rolling. You may have been caught by your mate being negative with your eyes or they may have been guilty. Eyes are truly the windows to the soul.
Eyes that once admired you will no longer when needs aren’t being met.

Separation/Breakup. This is the worst side effect of all. When needs have been discussed and changes don’t occur, mates will plan to leave. First, the mind begins to lose interest. Next, the heart loses feelings. Lastly, the soul desires to take it all and go away. It’s just that simple.

Whether you are a Christian struggling to make a change sexually in your relationship or your lover is disgruntled and just can’t seem to forgive, know that to suddenly stop having sex in a relationship that once had been, will only hurt the one you love. It is better to look for alternatives to enhance your relationship with both God and man.

Crazy Sex and Relationship Issues

Is it worth it?  Having wild sex with someone who leaves you in pain, mentally confused, or downright crazy?  Sex is meant to be enjoyed between two consenting individuals who love one another.  However, oftentimes sex is nothing more than a recreational sport that leaves some people bleeding, sick, and hurting emotionally and physically.

When you find that a supposed relationship has become nothing more than sex talk, sex shows, and sex here and sex there, then it's time to take a sex break.  You might want to ask yourself, "What more do I want out of a partnership besides sex?"  Can your intimate partner advise you in the areas of spirituality, finances, employment, etc.?  Does this person really care about you and your interests?  Do you see yourself one day being married and having children with him or her?

There are young men, women, teens, and worse children who have a poor concept as to what it means to be in a healthy relationship that uplifts them emotionally, mentally and spiritually.  They fail to understand that not everyone in this world is thinking about or even having sex contrary to what you see on the television screen or on the Internet.  There is so much more to living besides having sex with someone.  The best relationships earn the title of being "wonderful, great, good" because two people have their priorities in their proper place (and I must add are mature).  Having good communication, a steady income, goal-setting, and more are far more important than how often a couple has sex and where they do it.

For many couples, they have had less issues with partners when they didn't have sex so frequently.  They became less jealous, angry, controlling, and sad because they didn't feel the pressure to have to give everything to someone who they may or may not be convinced he or she would indeed handle them with care.  Think about this, a young person giving up time, money, possessions, and his or her body to an individual who cheats, lies, curses, and abuses them.  For most of us, we would say, "That's sad...Why would he/she do it?"  But the truth of the matter, many people have done just that!  This is why so many are divorced.  They prematurely gave everything for nothing.  They didn't bother to put the brakes on when it came to intimacy and allow feelings to grow in time.  They falsely assumed that the person smiling back at them cared about them just as much.  Days, weeks, or even months later, they learned the hard way when they would see a lover looking at other men/women, having sex with others, lying/covering up whereabouts, and often name-calling or cursing them.

So take a moment and reflect on your relationship and your future.  Break from sex and see whether you and your significant can have a partnership without such an emphasis on love-making.  For some of you reading this, you just might find out that all that glitters really isn't gold.

Nicholl McGuire

Note:  If you are a child reading this and are engaging in sex with an adult, know that you are being abused.  The adult is mentally sick and needs help.  You have a right to protect your body.  Get help and break free from abuse!  Visit Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate and see child abuse.

Learn More About Your Date Without Jumping Into Bed

If you made the mistake once, you most likely made it more times than you can count, take a date home with you only to have sex and then afterward ask yourself, "Do I really know her/him?"

It is such a let down when you find out you really don't have too much in common with your date after far too many episodes of sexing it up then meeting parents, moving in together, a possible proposal, a pregnancy, and more.  You feel like running away, ending it all because, "I should have...I could have...I wish I had..." a little too late when mistakes are already made, some you just have to live with.  But how does one minimize the regrets in a new relationship?

One.  Keep dates out of your apartment/home for as long as you can.

The day you opened that door and let her/him "to stay awhile" is the day that you said, "Let's have sex."  Whether you verbalized it or not at some point he or she is going to expect some action in your bedroom.  Remind yourself, "I don't really know my date well enough to share a glass of water much less a bed together!"

Two.  Don't plan an intimate vacation together that includes a hotel room.

At some point in the relationship one or both of you will want to go somewhere out of town, but is it necessary to room together?  Why awaken something between you two that has yet to fully develop?  Are you seriously considering a committed relationship with this person?  What if she becomes pregnant?  What if he has an incurable STD?  Think before you sleep!

Three.  Value time alone.

Spending time alone helps you think about many things as it relates to your date.  You can prepare questions, conduct research, talk to others about this person, and plan for fun things to do that don't involve a bed.

Here are some things you can do that will not only be interesting, but will help you determine whether your date is compatible with you.

Let's say you like sporting events, then offer to take your date to a game, but watch her/his reaction and then use the opportunity to find out if he/she is a couch potato, beer drinking, loud mouth who doesn't miss a game.  With that information, you will know what most weekends will look like when the newness of the relationship wears off.

Invite this person to a crowded venue.  Use the people atmosphere as a test to see how he or she handles being around others.  Does it irritate him or her that there is so much activity happening around you both?  Does he or she act strange around crowds?  When you see the behavior is odd maybe this person might not do well when you invite him or her to your professional events.

Consider taking a class together.  This is a good way to know whether or not your date is sincerely open to learning new things.  If he or she complains a lot, acts impatient, and often tells you, "I don't like..." then find out what he or she likes and suggest you two take a class together in that too on a later date.  Then compare how he or she behaves between the two classes.  This will also help you find out more about him or her in an environment he or she enjoys and whether or not you could tolerate your date's interest in a committed, long term relationship.

Bring your date to a family event.  Can your date do well amongst curious, bold talking relatives who only want to protect you?

From the grocery store to the library, there are many places you could go together to learn more about one another's interests.  When you look beyond the bedroom, you just might discover things about your date you would have most likely overlooked had you been intimate.  Pay attention to his or her facial expressions when interacting with others.  Notice how he or she dresses and smells when going out with you.  Mix up settings so you get a good idea how he or she dresses for each.  Test this person who might one day be your wife or husband.  Ask a controversial question, make a bold statement about one's views, and question immoral decision-making.

When one is considering someone to be in their lives in the most intimate way, he or she needs to know what is a date bringing or not bringing to the table.  Establish your boundaries early.  Don't give into tempting situations just because your date says, "It's okay...I like you...I love you...you are the best date I ever had...I want to marry you...I will give you money to help you with your problem...I care."  All of these statements are nothing more than lures when one chooses to ignore your boundaries so that he or she can get sex.  Remind this person of your boundaries and mean what you say.  If he or she respects your wishes, then who knows, your date might be a keeper!

Nicholl McGuire

Read more of her work at http://tipsdatingoldermen.blogspot.com

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12 Things to Know Before Starting Your Next Sexual Relationship

These days you may find yourself pondering on having sex with your new friend. There is something special about he or she and you may be starting to fall in love. It is a wonderful feeling knowing that this person may be "the one", but do you really know him or her? What could you possibly be risking in the future by having sex now? The following tips may help you decide whether having sex right now is really a good idea.

1. Know the person's first, middle and last name.

Although this tip may seem obvious, you would be surprised at how many people have sex with someone and are unsure whether they have a middle name, what there last name could be and whether the first name is their birth name.

2. Find out where they were born, where they currently live and where do their closest relatives live.

Let's say an emergency occurs while you are with he or she and they are unable to speak. What would you say if the police asked you, "Where does your friend live and can you get in contact with his or her relatives? It would be very embarrassing if you couldn't answer these two simple questions.

3. Know more than one phone number to reach them, and an email address (if they have one.)

Think about the future. Many situations may arise and a secondary phone number may be extremely helpful. Whether you or they have a concern or need to be contacted by family and friends, people should know where to find you.

4. Ask questions about where they work and how long they have been employed.

The good times don't last for long, so it may be to your benefit in the future to know whether they are employed or not and where. If you ever have to serve them with court documents and can't reach them at home, you will be able to contact them at work. Worse case scenario, if you ever need help from the police, they will know where to find him or her. This is also helpful information to determine whether they are hoping to use you as a future meal ticket.

5. Find out when was the last time they visited a doctor and a dentist.

This is important for your own health and safety. Don't have sex with someone who can't seem to keep up with his or her doctor's appointments. They may have a disease that has yet to surface.

6. Be certain they are or aren't ready for a family.

Women have been known to get pregnant rather quickly in a new relationship simply because they may be more likely to let their guard down when they are attracted to a new mate. If you know you aren't ready for a family, take the initiative and bring your own contraception. This way you know it hasn't been tampered with prior to having sex.

7. Be prepared to reveal your sexual history.

When you start asking question about his or her sexual history, know that yours will also be called into question. Tell the truth. He or she doesn't need to know how many partners you have been involved or that you have been seeing a psychiatrist for sexual abuse, but he or she does have the right to know if you have a sexually transmitted disease. If you take the time to explain what you have and how he or she can protect themselves, you may be surprised he or she may still want to have sex. It is unfair not to tell. If you want a relationship built on trust and honesty, then tell the truth.

8. Encourage them to talk about the people they are most often in contact.

You can do this by asking the following questions: Who is their best male or female friend(s)? How often do they hang out with their friends? Where does he or she like to go? Do they keep in contact with old classmates from high school and college? Are they affiliated with any professional or social organizations? Do they go on business meetings with female co-workers, often work late and attend happy hour with his or her friends? The plan here is to find out how serious they are when it comes to a relationship. They may have friends they enjoy having a little more than an occasional lunch date.

9. Know whether he or she has been married before, divorced and has children.

He or she may have marital problems, but still live with their spouse. They may also be separated, but not officially divorced. What would happen if after you had sex, you decided you wanted to marry, but he or she is still married? If he or she has children, consider whether or not you want to be a future step-parent.

10. Ask questions about family history.

Make a note of patterns of alcohol, drug, physical and verbal abuse amongst the family as well as mental issues. There is a good possibility that he or she may be severely impacted by their family history. Also, you may want to consider asking questions about religious and political affiliations. You don't want to have a relationship with anyone who is unwilling to settle or compromise when it comes to your beliefs. Avoid unnecessary trouble in your life by seeking relationships that you know you will not have to change the things that you do and say that build your self-esteem and overall make you happy!

11. Be sure you have a good idea of his or her daily routine.

What is a typical day like for them? Do they usually work and come home the same time everyday? Do they visit their family through the week or on weekends? Are they outgoing or a homebody? How often do they eat and usually what time of day? What you are looking for when you are making observations are patterns. You don't want to ask too many questions that you could find the answers just by watching. The last thing you want is for them to make false assumptions about you. Part of getting to know someone is knowing what their schedule usually is like from one day to the next. This way if you begin to see a series of patterns that are different from the usual, you will be able to detect whether he or she is telling you the truth about their life when they aren't in your presence.

12. Notice the details of his or her vehicle such as the gas tank whether it is often full or empty and how much money he or she spends or saves.

When ever you get in his or her car notice if the gas tank is full or often empty, he or she either is forgetful or just doesn't have the money to keep the tank full. Observe the detail of the car and how it runs. A man or woman who can't maintain their only means of transportation is struggling with money.

Also, listen to the kinds of restaurants and entertainment facilities he or she suggests you both visit as well as places he or she may have traveled. You will be able to make the determination whether you have something in common. In addition, you will also learn whether you can afford to go out with his or her type.

When you take a moment to ponder these issues prior to sex, you will save yourself years of heartache. Think of how quickly you will be able to determine whether this person is irresponsible, a liar, flirt, gold-digger, an abuser, or other things that could cause future relationship problems. As you have heard, sex complicates the relationship particularly when you have it prematurely. You may learn more about this person simply by giving yourself time to observe his or her behaviors, know family and friends, and most of all build trust!

For more articles by Nicholl McGuire Click Here!

How to Deal with Sexual Desires When You Are Single

It is hard living by your self at times, watching couples hold hands, kiss, talk intimately, smile warmly at each other on TV and when you are out in public. These reminders are of what you use to have with someone you once loved. The desire to have a mate may come at a time when you are vulnerable with nothing to do or when you are feeling excited, happy about life and would like to share it with someone special. Yet, you made a promise you would give yourself time to get over someone, focus on your goals, build a foundation for yourself or help someone in need. Whatever your reasons, you are still human and no matter how much praying, fasting, or creating distractions you do, the desire to have someone can sometimes be overwhelming.

Before you do something foolish like stay up late looking at pornography, go out to a club to pick up someone or call off work to watch erotica movies all day, there are various ways to overcome your desires and get focused again.

First, examine what is enabling your desires recently to have sex that wasn't there before. Was it a new attraction that crept up into your life such as a potential mate, movie, music, conversations or books? If you aren't ready for a relationship, then you will have to do whatever you can to distance yourself from the temptation. Don't go out with the person alone. Avoid inviting he or she to your apartment or going over his or hers. Spend time in public places, rather than private ones. Stop reading romantic books, watching sexually explicit movies or participating in conversations that are feeding your desires.

Next, avoid stressful activities. Sometimes if you find yourself working out, almost obsessively, you could be triggering emotions to find another form of release. Spending long hours at the office might not be helping any more. Working with the opposite sex closely, when you don't have to, may also cause stress (particularly if you find him or her attractive.) Too much of anything isn't good. Find a healthy balance.

If you aren't working out, drinking alot and participating in other behaviors that aren't good for your health or are too embarassing that if anyone knew they would run away from you, then start making an attempt to quit. Know why you do what you do, what you need to do to stop and make up in your mind that you will do whatever you can to quit. Some of the things you may be participating in could have contributed to break-ups in the past. It's time to stop blaming your past and make yourself accountable for what you did to contribute to a cycle of bad relationships.

Think of other things that you can do to detract from your needs to have sex. For instance, don't stay up late at night watching TV or surfing the Internet. Advertising on both mediums late at night appeal to your demographic. Ads that are sexual in nature come up more often during this time. Companies know that most people who stay up late at night don't have too many responsibilities and will likely watch TV when there isn't much else to do. Instead, listen to a minister on television, watch the news, an intense documentary, children's cartoons, or a G rated movie with no intimacy involved.

Consider making some extra money by taking on a job that you will get some fulfillment. Maybe you always wanted to work at a certain restaurant, amusement park or somewhere else, use the opportunity of freedom to get yourself out of debt and build a substantial savings for the future. Your potential mate will definitely appreciate you for it!

Make a plan to travel your neighborhood, surrounding areas, out of state or overseas. Read the newspaper or register with a website that alerts you to current happenings locally. Make a list of what it is you would like to do. You may enjoy visiting nearby coffee houses or taking bus rides. Being able to entertain yourself without someone will make you more interesting when you are ready to have a relationship.

Learn something new. Check out the classes that are offered in your local community and select something you may be curious about. This will make you more marketable, interesting and knowledgeable. Employers can appreciate anyone working for them that enjoys learning new things.

Spend time with family. You may not come around them very often, but at least make some additional time in your schedule to visit, help with chores, or take someone out to eat, run errands, go to a play or visit a park. Back when you were in a relationship, you may have promised them many times you would see them and never got around to it. Make up for lost time. You never know you may need them one day to watch your future children. Remember holidays and if you don't show up, send a card or gift. Show them that you care.

Become a volunteer for an organization whose values you believe. The sky is the limit when picking a charity, research the legitimacy of the company, where the money goes and how long have they been around. Check to see what contributions they have recently made to society. The seeds you invest in a cause will always come back to affect your life in various ways.

Start a business. Is there anything you are talented in that you can turn into a business? You have all the time you want to stay up late, run errands for your business needs, invest money and so much more to build a business. The freedom you have to dedicate to a dream business is a blessing! Once you know your talent, research similar businesses to find out how they are doing. Find out is it really worth the investment. Talk with retired professionals for insight. Read books about your business. Create a business plan. Save money. Then when you are ready to begin and are sincerely passionate about it, follow your plan and get it done. Set timelines to get things done.

If you are a divorced parent, consider making more time with your children. Schedule an appointment to see your children's teacher, go on a field trip or attend meetings for parents. When you had a relationship with your significant, you may not have spent the time you would have liked with your children. Schedule times with your children that you will be able to obtain now and in the future. Don't ever put your children off to be with someone.

Catch up on all your medical appointments. No need to keep putting them off. Later, when you are ready to settle down with someone, you won't need to cover up the fact that you haven't visited a dentist or doctor in years. Also, if you may have to start a medication for a health problem, at least you are doing it in privacy and you don't have to worry about hiding pill bottles. Hopefully, you won't need to take any medication by the time someone new comes into your life, but if you do, at least you will be comfortable in sharing the information with he or she by that time.

Consider visiting with a counselor for any unresolved mental or physical issues you may have. For instance, if you had a traumatic event that recently happened, you may want to talk with a professional about it. The last thing you would want to do in the future is bring unresolved emotional baggage to the new relationship. No one will ever need to know about your counseling sessions unless you to tell them. Do it now while you can privately without being judged. Be sure that all of your paperwork is put away.

Visit churches with friends. Once you find one you like, be active. Join the choir, help with church related tasks or accompany the staff on trips. You may be surprised at what you might learn being around people who have a faith.

Value your moment of being single to save money. This is a time for you to do everything you had always wanted to do with your money. As you know, when you are in a relationship everything has to be discussed. It is better to do and buy the things you want before someone comes in with an attitude of control, jealousy or any other emotion to keep you from doing what you want to do. Buy the sports car, motorcycle, ward obe, take the trip or whatever else you want to do. It's your life enjoy it by yourself and be willing to share it with someone you love later! He or she will appreciate you for having it altogether!

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She's Crazy by Nicholl McGuire

She's Crazy by Nicholl McGuire
Dating or married to an angry woman?