Thursday

Thank You for Reading This Blog

I just wanted to take this moment to thank the contributors of this blog and all those who have shared their entries.  I am so glad that so many singles and couples have found it useful.  I look forward to having an even better year!

At this time we are welcoming any contributors who would like to be featured for their dating or relationship tips or challenges on this blog.  Also any individual or business who would like to purchase ad space, do make contact.

Feel free to reply to this post or contact me at nichollmcguire@gmail.com

Nicholl McGuire is the manager of this blog, a self-published author, inspirational speaker, and business owner originally from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. She has been a featured guest on television and radio talk shows on networks such as CBS and WPXI Channel 11.

Wednesday

Failed Relationships, Disappointments - A Blessing in Disguise

You probably thought the miserable relationship you or someone else is in is nothing more than a mere mess and all you want is to see yourself or a loved one out of it!  But not so fast, these failed attempts at make up and tearful moments thinking of all those disappointments and hurtful things said are actually blessings in disguise!

Take every argument, painful story, and other negative things related to a bad relationship and turn them all around for good!  Challenge yourself or the friend to do better in other areas of his or her life until you or the individual is ready to make a difference in the intimate relationship.  In the meantime, it goes on the backburner and you press forward using the hurt to get up off the floor of life and start playing again!

What in your life (other than a relationship) needs to be changed and rearranged?  What about other connections that are drama free--have they been nurtured lately?  Could you be doing something to make a difference in other people's lives while you think of a plan to break free from your own negative stuff?

You see the failed romance is a stepping stone on a bigger and greater you!  I know you can't see this right now, but it is!  Oftentimes we make mistakes, but learn not to do certain things again.  We get this on the job, when teaching young children and reflecting on our lives when we were teens.  So now use the same thinking now.  Sometimes it only takes one time to burn your hand on the stove or it just might take half your life to stop burning your hand on a hot stove, but you eventually get it and can then caution others.

Consider what those disputes, mistakes and mayhem is calling your attention to and what is it that you still have yet to accomplish in your life?  For instance, if a partner is cheating could this be a sign you need to step your game up and be more loving and caring toward yourself?  Notice I didn't say toward the partner--he or she messed up and will most likely cause further damage to the relationship.  Instead, you are going to use the pain you are suffering (whatever he or she did to you) and better you! 

People who undergo a true healing process don't fix themselves up for others.  These determined individuals learn to make changes to build up their own self-esteem, wealth, appearance, and more.  They redirect their focus from the bad that is going on in their personal lives and turn it all into something good in other areas.

This is what I have done myself for years and you can do it too!

Nicholl McGuire manages Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate, When Mothers Cry, and other blogs and has authored over 10 books and recorded many spiritual messages on YouTube channel: nmenterprise7. 

Monday

Regretting Meeting the Person You Are With Solves What Issue?

From the time you first laid eyes on one another to the day that you thought, "What was I thinking?"  In between the beginning and the near end of a challenging relationship are fillers.  Like stuffing inside a soft toy there are cushy things said to make the appearance of one in a relationship look quite appealing.  He makes promises and she believes.  He says how much he cares for her and she tells him how much she loves him.  Then there are those memorable places visited together, and even children born to one another, but the truth still remains that unsettling feeling that the person seated next to you or across the table is not The One or ever was.  You may trust him or her or that may have long left.

News flash:  there is no "One," a perfect being that is going to do all and be all for any of us.  That is a story for a great fictional work.  There is that person who might be attractive (and that fades fast along with the niceties).  The individual is flawed.  Like you, he or she makes a choice to either stick it out with you and your "issues" or not. 

It is quite easy to get along in a relationship initially because two people have never hurt one another and are just getting to know what buttons not to push or else ruin something they are starting to build or have been for quite some time.  But as the relationship gets older, the pair get quite comfortable saying and doing "whatever" without too much thought or care about the damage actions might cause in the short and long term.  There really is no single reason as to why things change in a relationship, they just do whether the influence was external or internal.  You either have the energy to weather the storm or you don't. 

The one mistake many couples make is to go all the way back to the good days and say things like, "How I never should have...Why did I?  I knew he wasn't right...She was trouble from the start!"  Well you slept with that person, dined with him or her, and did other things, so if he or she is a fool then what does that make you for keeping the individual around?  What current issue is going to be solved by looking back and regretting your every move with a lover/spouse while tarnishing what good there was or still is? 

Live for today, recognize what is happening now, and work toward change within and around you. 

On a side note, sometimes the person you are disputing with is the one that is meant to help you mature personally and professionally.  He or she may not be forever and always, but you do learn a lot about you good, bad and otherwise. 

Nicholl McGuire

Sunday

Partner Reminds You of Mom or Dad?

Are you dating or married to someone who reminds you of a parent or stepparent?  Childhood Connection to Present and Future Relationships  http://share.myflare.com/vk4TJk





Friday

Should I Go to the Party - Tips For Doubtful People Weary of Family Events





Available on Smashwords (not on Amazon at this time).

Dating Mr. Socially Sweet, Privately Cruel Yet?

If you haven't met him yet, you will the longer you date.  He is sweet, patient and kind.  The gentleman acts as if he is very much in tuned to you.  He likes much of what you like and is very thoughtful and helpful.  Yet, there is another side to him that peaks through his exterior every now and again--a dark side.  The strange man appears moody for no apparent reason, stares off into space or stares too long at you, acts very impatient at times, and has said his share of troubling things to you and possibly others.  The wolf in sheep's clothes may have told a story that made you question whether he really is as harmless as he claims to be.

Sometimes we women dismiss what we know to be true when it comes to people because we want to give them the benefit of the doubt.  But as you will read in Nicholl McGuire's book, Socially Sweet, Privately Cruel Abusive Men, one should never ignore her gut feeling.  Get this nonfiction work today on Smashwords.  You are better off safe than sorry later!

Wednesday

She's Crazy by Nicholl McGuire - a book for men in bad relationships with bad women


A man doesn't suspect after great food, sex, and cool conversation with a beautiful companion that there is a dark side to her. He doesn't anticipate that one day his partner might hurt him with her words and hands. Yet, there are crazy women who will not hesitate to abuse a man over almost anything! In this non-fiction book, Nicholl McGuire, author of "Tell Me Mother You're Sorry" and "Say Goodbye to Dad," speaks to the man who has been berated, misunderstood, wounded, and beaten down by a frequently irate and abusive woman. He might be your son, brother, father, uncle, cousin, or best friend. He hides his shame. He tells you that everything is okay when it is not. He shares nothing that would make you suspect that he is hurting inside due to his controlling girlfriend, emotionally abusive wife, or violent companion. He grins in front of you and grimaces when at home with her. He hates what his bad relationship is doing to him and possibly his children. He needs peace! If you are this man, let this book inspire you to speak and break free from a dysfunctional relationship with a controlling partner.

In this compassionate and thought-provoking guide you will receive:
- Guidance on using the past to gain control of your present.
- Tips on recognizing warning signs a woman is abusive and not just having a bad day.
- How to exit a miserable relationship.
- Insightful information to help you rebuild your life.

You can feel confident knowing you are doing the right thing for yourself and family when you start working on having a new mindset about this abusive situation. Hitting, shoving, spitting, punching, slapping, biting, and other violent acts are abusive! Name-calling, isolating, economic abuse, ignoring, withdrawal of sex, and more are forms of emotional abuse. Get this book today, what you do with the content just might save your life! Purchase the book today, click here.

Tuesday

5 Tips on Looking Your Best Ladies for a First Date

Best tips on what to do before your first date with man of your dreams.

There are two kinds of people: Those who get nervous before a first date and...fine, there is just one kind of person, and we are all terrified of first dates. The following tips will make your first date perfect and unforgettable!

#1 Stay calm
It is natural that you are nervous before your first date, but you shouldn’t be overwhelmed. Try to relax: take a bubble bath with aroma candles, and then start your preparations. Choose a cozy cafe with relaxing music, where you can feel comfortable and confident. You can take a glass or two of wine, but be careful with alcohol.

#2 Choose a haircut
If you are at a loss and don’t know what to do with your hair, here are some examples of simple and beautiful hairdos for the first date.

⦁ Soft blow out. A smooth blowout with a soft bend and incredible shine—it is very romantic and nice. Just blow dry your hair with a big, round brush. And don’t forget to use a little bit of mousse for better volume.
⦁ Tousled ends. Again, blow dry rough your hair and then, curl only ends with the help of curling iron. Top it with fixing serum or gel.
⦁ Half-up with twist. Blow dry your hair, previously putting a mousse to your hair. Take one strand from each of your temples and twist it. Fix both strands at the back.

#3 Makeup
This is not the time for extraordinary, daring and extreme makeup on the first date. Stick to nude makeup with some light and natural colors. If you are going to have a late evening date, you can make timeless black arrows with red lipstick.

#4 Clothing
You definitely shouldn’t wear your shortest skirt on the first date. Try something classic, because you will not have another time to make a great first impression. Strapless top and jeans or little black dress – it depends on your particular date.

#5 Jewelry
You are not a Christmas tree, so keep it minimal. Small earrings and a tender necklace – this is very important.

Now you are ready for your first date. Use our tips and find your true love.

See more here http://bonbonsalon.com/

Victoria Howell

Wednesday

How to Establish Boundaries with an Ex While Dating Others

The timing is usually all wrong when an ex wants to come back into your life. You are managing well personally and professionally. You are meeting some great guys or gals. The space to breathe and reconnect with your self has been most positive. Yet, there is a part of you that still has room for an ex-partner. You might love the thought of rekindling a romance with him or her or hate what might the future bring again. So how do you manage those emotions by giving an ex just one more chance?

1. Be realistic. This person hasn't changed in a week, two months, or a few years to the point that everything that was or still is wrong with him or her is completely removed. There will be some things that you still don't like about an ex that will show up sooner or later. Think about not only the good, but the bad too. List those issues and let them help you stay guarded with this person.

2. Fight the temptation to have sex. Romance and sexual intimacy doesn't heal, but enhances healthy, functional relationships. If there is dysfunction evident in any relationship, sex will just further complicate matters. Using physical romance to heal is like putting a band-aid on a broken bone. Put off talk about sex with an ex (you already know what it's like with him or her) and redirect your focus on those unresolved issues such as: the apologies you never received, lack of emotional support, cheating, lying, stealing, etc. whatever helped break you both up.

3. Stop lying to yourself. Until you face what you did to enable problems in the relationship, you will find yourself breaking every promise you told yourself you wouldn't do all over again. So be honest and do what you can to make past wrongs right.

4. Avoid moving in together especially to save money. Finances aren't nearly as important as inviting someone back into your life that could potentially wreck havoc on it. Slow down with the plans to cohabitate and the reasons why you should do it now rather than later. As soon as you open those doors, you will be opening yourself up to additional stress whether you choose to believe it or not. Cooking, cleaning, possible pregnancy, talk of marriage, in-laws, guests, respecting one's space, and more will still be topics of discussion.

5. Don't enable dysfunction. When those signs of control, denying, lying, blaming, etc. show back up again, it is safe to say you need to keep an ex at a distance. He or she might smile, joke or distract you from their true colors coming to the surface again. Don't fall for the tricks. State what you will not tolerate and create some distance so that you can carefully ponder whether getting back with an ex is indeed the right thing to do.

6. Don't share your personal feelings and experiences about your dates to the ex. Making a former lover jealous might bring some satisfaction to some people, but it is never a good idea if you one day hope to get back together with an ex.

When you know your worth and have a love for self, you will not tolerate anyone including an ex overstepping their boundaries in your life. You won't be nervous, fearful, or stressed about stating how you feel, because you know yourself and realize the significance of standing up for you. Life is too short and no one is worth losing your mind, body and spirit over.

Nicholl McGuire also provides insight on Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate.  Check out her books here.

Thursday

5 Things Worth Researching about Relationships, Parenting and Lifestyle

Maybe your parents and grandparents didn't think they needed any relationship counselors, books, or anything else to help with their issues, but you and your partner aren't them and times have changed.  What worked for them may not work for you and your partner who live very differently with more stresses such as:  higher prices, constantly changing technology, new chemicals in food, smarter children, and longer work hours.   Consider seeking more knowledge about those problems that just don't seem like they are going away, before they become major ones!

1.   How Can We Communicate Better?
www.loveisrespect.org

1. Find the Right Time. If something is bothering you and you would like to have a serious conversation about it, make sure you pick the right time to talk. ...
2. Talk Face to Face. ...
3. Do Not Attack. ...
4. Be Honest. ...
5. Check Your Body Language. ...
6. Use the 48 Hour Rule.
2.  Why We Lie and How to Stop | Psychology Today
https://www.psychologytoday.com/.../why-we-lie-and...

3.  How to Raise a Child EffectivelyNine Steps to More Effective Parenting - KidsHealth

4.  How to Avoid Cheating
22 Ways to Avoid Cheating On Your Spouse - Marriage ...

5.  How to Manage Money and Bills

How to manage bills with a bill payment schedule

Once you start researching the obvious, before long you will be thinking about other things you didn't bother learning about.  Hopefully with increased understanding about relationship related issues and new ways to tackle them, your connection will be the success that it was meant to be or you may find that maybe you and a partner aren't suitable for one another.  Whatever you find, enjoy learning and growing!
 
List prepared by Nicholl McGuire author of Socially Sweet, Privately Cruel Abusive Men and other books, see blog here.

Tuesday

Breaking Up is a Hard Thing to Do - He Wants to But He Just Doesn't Know How to Tell You

Just when you think that all is okay in a relationship, the nagging feeling in your gut reminds you, "He's not into you..."  You can't keep ignoring the signs.  Someone has got to do something before things go from bad to worse!  When He Doesn't Know How to Break Up With You

Monday

When Wrong Thinking Gets in the Way of a Quality Relationship


On Losing a Man to Another Woman - You Won, She Lost

"No regrets," that's what some people have to remind themselves of when it comes to breaking up with someone.  I made certain before I left relationships that I had no "I really wish things could have been different" statements floating around in my head regarding exes.  I did the best I could, end of story.  I sleep well at night.  I hope readers of this blog are getting beyond those negative feelings that keep you bound to toxic people, places and things. 

Ladies, when you're in a miserable relationship and don't see any way out, you have a tendency to stay in your mess until a light bulb goes off.  That usually comes the day you find out your man has been cheating on you, it is then that you didn't lose, you just won!

I personally dislike titles that look like another woman took a man away from a wife like, "Suzie Q Lost Her Husband of 20 Years to Mature Mary."  Most likely Suzie Q had been slowly but surely disconnecting from her man long before Mature Mary showed up.  Suzie did it when she withheld sex, called the ex names, told him to leave her, yelled about not wanting to be with him anymore, threatened divorce, and more.  Her husband was no saint and that is why she went from being loyal to attack dog!  Whether a woman giving her man away is official or not, the guy will sooner or later get the message and off he goes.

Looking on the bright side, the woman who just couldn't put anymore effort into a tired, broken down, cheating, lying, or crazy-making partner actually got what she wanted, peace and freedom in his absence.  No more worrying about where that fool is, what he is doing, and where money has gone.  The arguments, stomach upset, headaches, and more gradually come to an end, okay!  He becomes someone else's problem.  So why invite that "issue" back into your life when you have won?

Nicholl McGuire shares spiritual insight about relationships and other topics on YouTube channel: nmenterprise7.




Sunday

You Don't Have to Like a Partner's Family But You Do Have to Respect Them

Every year families will get together for holiday events and there in the group will be those you don't like.  Who says you must be around these people annually?  Did you agree to this before you started dating or during the marriage? 

Being around a partner's family during certain times of the year is one of the down sides when you don't like them, but you are expected to respect them--you know treat people how you would want to be treated.  You can do this without bending over backwards for them or even going around them if you would like.  However, one sets his or herself up to be provoked to anger when you know someone doesn't like you yet you attend their events and all the while you want to appease your partner.  Doing this will make you mad at the enemy and your loved one.  "I told you I didn't want to go...They don't like me and I don't like them!" says an angry boyfriend.

Sometimes we tell ourselves, "Why should I respect his/her family when they don't even like or respect me?"  Because your partner loves them and if you love your partner you do find yourself going along with some things, but you don't have to go along with everything.  If a partner sincerely loves you and wants to make the relationship work, then he or she will not permit his or her relatives to act meanly toward you. 

Sometimes these trials related to family show up to test you on whether or not a relationship is really worth continuing.  It shouldn't be difficult to reach a decision that is beneficial to all when it comes to family related stuff.  Maybe it is better you stay home and your partner spends time with his or her relatives in peace without the worry of how you might respond to a rude relative.  If they are showing up at your place, is there somewhere you can go until they leave if it's that bad?  How about everyone goes elsewhere or stays together for the holidays?  Is it really necessary to see negative people who are not very supportive of the relationship?

The arguments will show up in full force if you go off and tell someone in the family just how much you hate their &^%$ and how you would love to put your foot *&$# but of course, you wouldn't want to present yourself as the crazy ^&*(*%!  Now would you?  As we all know, holiday seasons are supposed to be a cheerful time and if it brings you peace keeping away from those you don't like, then your partner will need to respect that.  But in turn, you show love by helping him or her pack the trunk to grandma's house, "Have a good trip, my dear!"

Nicholl McGuire is the author of When Mothers Cry and another blog about family related issues.

Tuesday

Negativity of Partner, Relatives Holding You Back, Suffocated Feelings?

In this audio by Nicholl McGuire, nonfiction author, spiritual speaker and virtual assistant, the wife and mother of four talks about those issues toxic people who keep us emotionally and physically bound and what to do from a spiritual perspective.  Listen to thought-provoking teaching and commentary here.

Monday

What Matters at the End of the Day is Love and Trust -- Without These Forget About It

"How can I convince you that I love and trust you?" you might think after you have repeatedly hurt someone you claim to love.  A partner is going to have a problem believing you when actions say otherwise.

Do you really love and trust your lover/friend/spouse?  The truth for many people is that they are in love with the idea of romantic love, but have little sincere, in-depth love to give when it comes to the "in sickness and in health" part of commitment. 

Trust is a major factor in relationships.  If you don't have a heart filled with trust for a mate, then you must then ask yourself, "Why am I staying with this person?"  Don't let children and things be your reasons.  Kids grow up and move on with their lives and things rust, break and tare. 

People who lack love and trust in one another are some of the most difficult people to remain in a relationship.  It isn't any wonder why so many couples just can't seem to get along with one another.

Nicholl McGuire is the author of Socially Sweet, Privately Cruel Abusive Men and an inspirational speaker at YouTube channel: nmenterprise7. 

Friday

Suspect You're Not Going to Get Along with Someone, Expecting the Worse in a Relationship? Why Bother?

Whether your status is casual dating or serious relationship, chances are you have your ideas of what you want in a mate/lover.  If you already have someone in mind, you might have some theories as to how this person might behave with you in the future.  If your attitude about dating and relationships hasn't been that good for awhile now and you have a long history of being rejected, then most likely your hidden thoughts might not be that positive about your current partner or any others you have in mind.

Negative personal opinions and first impressions about people don't go away easily especially for critical individuals who tend to let their egos get out of hand.  Mr. or Ms. "I'm always right about people" is going to be difficult at times to love.  The unsuspecting date or partner just might find out during an emotionally charged dispute what one really thinks about him or her now as well as when he or she first met.  What a terrible way to discover that someone is just not one's match, but it happens.  The revised history of the past will put a damper on things and you just might not see that person in the same way ever again. 

Sometimes enough bad experiences with date after date or mate after mate and you start to assume that you aren't going to get along with someone for any and every reason.  "She's independent, I know how that type is...He is one of those couch potato guys, we won't last long.  I forgot why I just don't like that ethnicity, I was warned about those kind."  When the warnings flash before your eyes like "Not your type...Date someone else...Out of your league," you just might be doing yourself and that person a service by breaking up with him or her, but ignoring your personal thoughts about someone, whether right or wrong, is only going to grow into one big ball of resentment and guilt followed by a constant nagging to be anywhere with anyone but that person in front of you sooner or later.  Think of the many individuals who claimed to be compatible when they first met only to find out the hard way after marriages and children born, "I should have moved on a long time ago."  In many of these relationships, someone created a self-fulfilling prophecy for the relationship by provoking partners to be just what they had envisioned them to be.  For instance, if your notion is incorrect about someone being overbearing and the jealous type due to past programming from another relationship, you might consciously or subconsciously say and do things to make that person behave in those ways you originally predicted.  If the individual plays a role that you defined for him or her really well, your inner self will say, "See I told you so...He/she was just like I thought."  When the truth is you were wrong about a date, but you said and did things over time to make that person behave ugly with you.

The good news is that if you still want to be with someone, you can create a new chapter in your book about him or her where you don't dismiss a date or partner's feelings and choose to stop focusing on shallow things about him or her like attractiveness, education and material wealth; instead, you can work toward being that positive guy or gal for him or her.  The world is filled with enough negative people who expect the worst out of others, so why behave badly with someone you are really interested in or truly want to spend the rest of your life with?  But if you refuse to heed warnings, correct your offensive behaviors and don't want to work on being a better person personally and professionally (work oftentimes affects relationships too), then you will find yourself in and out of bed with others, never completely satisfied, and saying goodbye yet again to this partner and others in the future, so get ready to cry a good cry for a day, a year, or more until you are ready to break up once again. 

As you learn from life lessons (no matter your age and experience) and move toward positive change by removing distractions out of your life (including toxic relatives and friends who have their share of loveless partnerships), you will never be the same.  You will find that you are developing a more positive attitude with loved ones.  An intimate partnership might grow with you or remain stagnant and die if you and your lover/partner are unwilling to make a positive difference within to better your connection.

After being on many dates, married, divorced, and remarried again, if there is one thing I learned is to be certain that you want to be with someone before you invest any more time getting to know them or making plans for the future.  Forget about saving time and money when it comes to a relationship.  Far too many people will determine whether a relationship is worth holding on to based on a money-saving move or cutting a long distance drive.  Choose to prioritize emotional needs like: love, respect, appreciation, happiness, care, and honesty and before long days will grow into years and the relationship will flourish.  But when you are distracted by other people and things like saving money, you will miss what really matters when it comes to making a quality connection with someone. When you are doubtful about someone you are dating or in a serious relationship with, lazy when it comes to servicing the needs of this person, greedy for material goods, and/or selfish in and out of the bedroom, most likely your relationship will be headed toward nothing more than a dead end forcing you to turn around again and again only to find more dead ends, u-turns and detours.  That's not a relationship one might be in, but like the classic movie title, you are on "a street named desire."

Nicholl McGuire is the author of Socially Sweet, Privately Cruel Abusive Men, Laboring to Love Myself and other books.  She also provides inspiring and thought-provoking spiritual audio messages here.

 

Wednesday

8 Relationship Boundaries that are Often Compromised

There will be a time in a man or woman's life that he or she will meet someone and fall deeply in love losing all sense of self, purpose, and direction. Personal dreams will be put aside, goals will be undetermined, and life will carry on blissfully without a single care in the world for the sake of a relationship.

Then one day, the couple is hit with the reality of disagreements, insults, anger outbursts and illness; it is then that the barrage of incredible love and lust begins to take a downward turn. Now one is reflecting back on the mistakes he or she made early on in the relationship. "Is it too late to set boundaries? Is it too soon to end the relationship? Is my partner experiencing what I am feeling?"

The questions abound in one’s mind disappointed at how soon these rising feelings came crashing down.  Doubts keep him or her up late at night sometimes wondering what went wrong? Here are some thoughts on what could have went wrong during those early days of lust and bliss.

One.  You didn’t allow yourself enough time to get to know one another outside the bedroom. Why is it that couples always find themselves in the bed sooner than they would have liked? Maybe the word of advice should have been heeded, "Don’t begin dating when you are obviously in heat."

Two.  You tried too hard to be something you weren’t, such as appearing to have common interests that you really didn’t have or putting yourself out there to be challenged later on what you said and did. People attempting to make a good impression on one another tend to exaggerate, lie, or mislead one another and sooner or later the truth catcjes up to them.

Three.  You shared money and bought gifts with finances you did or didn’t have far too soon before you got to know the person. When this is done, the giver later becomes resentful of the receiver. The ever popular argument seems to come out of nowhere, "Look at all I've done for you?" No one put a gun to your head and told you to do those things. You let your guard down. Blame yourself, not your partner.

Four.  You didn’t bother to ask questions about issues that may have been significant to you such as politics, religion, sexual past, employment history, childhood experiences, etc. You went along just to get along whe you should have said, "I'm not interested...I don't care for. Please don't expect me to support you on that."

Five.  You avoided telling your partner how you really felt when it came to disagreements. "I would appreciate it if you don't call me names or act rudely when we debate. Handling me aggressively is a deal-breaker."

Six.  You compromised in areas that you shouldn’t have such as drinking when maybe you rather not or fornicating when you know you shouldn’t. "Some things I just won't do because they go against my personal beliefs."

Seven.  You ignored signs that maybe this was not the right time in your life to be dating. "I would rather be friends than lovers simply because this is just not a good time for me."

Eight.  You chose to proceed in a new relationship without giving yourself enough time to get over the old and resolve past issues. "I just got out of a relationship with someone, so I really think it is best that we just be friends without benefits. I'm sure you don't want to deal with the emotional baggage I just might bring to the table, because the wounds are still fresh."

When you have may relationship problems now, you can always reflect on the past to find out how you went from there to here.  However, simply knowing about the challenges, but doing nothing about them will not make your issues go away.  If you want to maintain a relationship that is filled with problems, you and your partner must be willing to work on trying to come up with solutions.

Nicholl McGuire is the author of Socially Sweet, Privately Cruel Abusive Men and other books.

Thursday

Socially Sweet, Privately Cruel Abusive Men by Author Nicholl McGuire

Sometimes you just don't see the public charmer/private abuser coming your way.  The man who appears to be so sweet, nice and friendly during those first meetings ends up being the one who breaks your heart and runs away with all that you value the most.  You didn't anticipate it--you were caught off guard.  But it happens, my friends. So what might we have overlooked in our quest to love and be loved?

In my book, Socially Sweet, Privately Cruel Abusive Men, I show you the personalities and schemes of various males (both young and old) and the games they play to get women to trust them during the early dating phase while exposing our weaknesses.  I also share personal stories where I am an observer and a victim of charmers.  This is a truth-telling book, one you won't forget and a must-read if you have a daughter, niece, or female relative who is just getting her feet wet when it comes to dating.

Please show your support by making a purchase.  Socially Sweet, Privately Cruel Abusive Men by Nicholl McGuire

Monday

Is your Man in Menopause? Recognizing the Symptoms of Andropause


Bad Relationship with Your Father Will Influence Your Dating, Relationship Experiences

Author of When Mothers Cry, Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate, and other books, Nicholl McGuire shares insightful details as to why sons and daughter must sever toxic emotional ties to a father that is ineffective, controlling, or worse deceased. 

The more we stay bound to negative people, places and things associated with them, the harder it is to break free emotionally, physically and spiritually.  If you sincerely want a healthy relationship with your current partner, recognize the "daddy issues" and deal with them.  Say Goodbye to Dad is here to help!  Get the book here.

Monday

In Love with Mr. Potential - an audio message by author Nicholl McGuire

Ladies, so you want to press on in a relationship with Mr. Potential rather than Mr. Right?  This is a message for believers who continue to remain in relationships with those they are unequally yoked with doesn't married, dating seriously or casually--a wake up call!  Click here to listen: Vocaroo Voice Message

Wednesday

What to Expect When a Date Has an Adventurous Spirit

You enjoy getting outdoors, trying new things, having fun, and going to places that you have never been before. However, it can be challenging to find someone who has the same interests as you. Some people fake their adventurous side and you soon learn that these folks can’t stand bugs, rain, heights, and other things. So you feel as if your time has been wasted and declare that in the future you will be more selective when it comes to dating.

Daring people, who sincerely enjoy living their lives to the fullest, are quite bold about what they say and do. They have stories, photographs, witnesses, and other things that will back up all the adventure they have experienced so far in their lives. However, charlatans know how to impress the unsuspecting as well. This is why you just might have to make a few phone calls, perform some online research, check in with buddies at the locations they claim to know people, and more to find out whether the online date is in fact being truthful.

Interview these "I like to have fun" types. Test them on their knowledge of things. Ask basic questions, but also inquire about things they can’t simply look up on the Internet. Ask them to share personal opinion, discoveries, and people they have met on their journeys. Include trick questions and pretend as if they are correct. Once you have found the truth about this so-called brave person faking interest and pretending to be something he or she is not, ignore him or her.

Those that sincerely love the outdoors, animals, water, travel, and more will have much in common with you. Every time you talk to these courageous dates you find yourself more and more interested in them and their lifestyles. Share plans about what you like to do and if the date is indeed a diehard fan of adventure, he or she will contribute knowledge to your story-telling.

Adventurous people tend to take risks in other areas of their lives too. This can be a good thing or a bad thing. Some have habits that affect themselves and others immensely from porn addictions to substance abuse. Others don’t manage money well and will not hesitate to leave a responsibility to try something new and different. This can be disheartening to later find out especially if you tend to have balance in your life. You know when to have fun and when to work. Those individuals who have yet to manage work and fun tend to mix business with pleasure.

When dating someone who claims to be adventurous, a risk taker, enjoys new discoveries, and more, be certain that he or she is also responsible. You can test a date by posing hypothetical questions. Listening to responses and then testing again later to compare answers. When the time comes to meet, notice his or her conduct when in public environments. Some "fun" types can also be quite emotional and struggle with personality disorders. They can be up on some days and then come crashing down on others. Others tend to rush getting to activities and sometimes you find that their interests are more like obsessions. Keep in mind that those who just love certain adventure will not quell their passions just because they are in a relationship with someone, so don’t expect your adventure seekers to do this. If what they do bothers you, it would be better to move on with your life then to wish for these individuals to change.

Nicholl McGuire is a blogger, ghost writer for dating websites, and author of Tell Me Mother You're Sorry and Say Goodbye to Dad.

 

Monday

When a Date Loves Arts and Crafts


The date who loves creating, displaying, and attending art and crafts events is a passionate, creative, often independent, and flexible person at times. He or she will enjoy your company if you too have hobbies that inspire you. However, if you are one who has little reverence for the arts and could care less about a date’s passion, you will turn this person off. You might continue to go out on dates, but the relationship will suffer challenges and may end up being nothing more than a dead end for you.



Artsy people, a slang way of describing people who enjoy creating things, are sensitive, happy, sometimes depressed, and other times odd folks. They feed off of love, pain, sickness, emotional turmoil, life, death; you name it to obtain their muses. What most would just view and walk away from, the creative person embodies it. These people can be a joy to be around and you can learn much from them, but they can also be deeply troubled.



When the imaginative type is on an emotional high, you will either be welcomed into his or her world or shut out for a time. You will need to be mentally strong to handle those up and down times with the creative individual. Needy, insecure people don’t like when they are shut out of anything and others who aren’t very considerate of those who might be more talented than they, can be a burden to be around.



It isn’t a requirement to be the painter, musician, writer, dancer, actor, architect, and other similar types, but it does help. A date that can be understanding about his or her partner’s work and can relate to the challenges is a welcome addition. Those that are in other fields can be a good match if they too are respectful of the date’s craft. However, there are many who are not appreciative of creative types and tend to laugh, joke, or insult them for the work that they do. That type of negative attitude merely starts arguments and makes the artistic individual withdraw from the relationship.



When dating the person who loves arts and crafts, do the following:



  1. Show your support for the work. Since there are many creations and some you won’t like, your personal interest has nothing to do with being encouraging to the date who enjoys his or her hobby.
  2. Offer to attend an event with him or her. This can be a turn on for a date, because it shows you care.
  3. Allow for time and space to create. If the person you are dating wants to be left alone for awhile, do it.
  4. Don’t expect a creative person to always be interested in you and the relationship. Many artistic people use their hobbies/work as an escape from upsetting things and if under too much pressure, they will lose interest and won’t be as nice and receptive as they once were to you.
  5. If you find the creative person is too odd for you, don’t fake interest, move on.

Saturday

Roaming Eyes at the Cookout - Your Date is Watching

There are things you can get away with when you have been in a relationship for a long time, but when it comes to just getting to know someone, do you really want to be caught checking out the attractive man or woman standing at a distance? 

Cookouts, family reunions, or getting together over someone's home staying in an atmosphere for hours at a time with people you barely know can get boring, so you start looking around, entertaining yourself while your date glances over to see you observing the finest looking person in the room--BUSTED!

So how to stay out of trouble this hot, sexy summer?

1.  Keep your eyes on that plate of food in front of you when the half -dressed lady comes strutting by.  If you have no food, look at the food somewhere nearby, the sky, a car passing by, your shoes, etc.
2.  Don't let your eyes roam in that direction where the guy with the tight shirt showing off his abs is looking at you.  Instead, compliment someone in front of you on the nice piece of jewelry they are wearing then find a spot to sit where you aren't staring at Mr. Sexy.
3.  Ignore those who bump you and say, "Check out him...Look at the rack on..."  When you think your date isn't listening he/she is and so are those who you might not think wouldn't go back and tell what you said to him or her too.
4.  Avoid the temptation to want to exchange phone numbers (even if it is just a business card) your date knows better.  "I was just networking..." Sure.
5.  Stay close to your date and converse with him or her about the festivities, rather than looking for the opportunity to talk with the hottest looking man or woman in the room.

If you take the time to consider your date's feelings, who knows you just might have some fireworks tonight!

Nicholl McGuire author of Tell Me Mother You're Sorry and Say Goodbye to Dad.  She has a YouTube channel: nmenterprise7.  Feel free to stop by!

Friday

Avid Book Readers and Gaming Dates Not Your Types?


She says she loves to read. He enjoys playing board and video games. These people might be a good match for someone else, but for you? Some of these singles are attractive, have nice jobs, drive good cars, and other things, you might be easily impressed.



Sometimes we make ourselves believe we can adapt to someone else’s personality. Yet, when we start dating people with interests, different from our own, we hope that they might change. We find out they love their hobbies a bit more than we thought. We also notice how we react to what they do in their spare time and it isn’t always positive. Not everyone enjoys gaming. Some singles prefer to stay active doing more “fun” and “interesting” things outdoors.

What makes some of these dates so dull is how long they tend to an activity? Maybe a date enjoys going to a friend’s house weekly to play video games or enjoys spending evenings on a couch curled up with a good book. This isn’t attractive to those who prefer parties, shopping, and travel. Now if the date has other hobbies besides, reading and gaming, then chances are he or she just might be a good fit for the more outgoing one.



Disinterest tends to show up when we least expect it while dating some people, because we have adapted to their routines rather than keeping up with our own. We think that by being more tolerant of people different than us, that somehow the treatment will be reciprocated. Unfortunately it rarely is when one has been passionate for years about certain hobbies. Some may have ended previous relationships because they loved reading and gaming far more than love-making.

If you find you are dating a real bore, you can always mention how you feel, but be advised that person will not change for you especially when he or she has been that way for years. The avid reader loves her books and the game enthusiast loves his games. You might notice during the early part of the dating phase the reader might put down her books for you and the guy who enjoys gaming will move away from the screen long enough to learn more about you. However, once the newness of meeting you has worn off, this is when the invites to come join them in their hobbies might be offered. If you enjoy the same things, you most likely won’t have any issues—that is unless a date is a fanatic. If this is the case, you will have to be clear about your likes and dislikes early on. If he or she respects your boundaries, you just might enjoy dating the gamer or reader.



Now there are some signs you might want to look out for when dating people who love their quiet activities and gaming times. Consider the following. They might be late for dates, ignore phone calls, and cancel going out if the hobby is really interesting to them for the moment. Maybe the gaming guy is trying to beat an opponent or turn over a video game. The reader might be on a really good chapter of a book. If this is the case, you might be temporarily forgotten. The hobbyist makes excuses, lies, or even covers up just how much he or she is committed to his or her passion depending on how dates respond to him or her. If you notice the hobby is taking up too much of a date’s time, bail out early, he or she is letting you know that having a quality relationship is insignificant to him or her.

Nicholl McGuire is the author of Tell Me Mother You're Sorry, When Mothers Cry, Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate and other books.

Wednesday

What to do about a Date who is too Warm and Friendly

Some bachelors are simply too affectionate with dates and others. These flirty types can be a bit much when they are talking to others. From friendly stares to kisses on cheeks, these single men and women can irritate you with all their warm, friendly and very flirty behaviors.

There is normal affection between people, but then there is over-the-top behaviors that make you question whether a mother and son are sleeping together, a date is in love with the waiter at the restaurant, or a peculiar exchange between your partner and a stranger on the street. It is safe to say some people misbehave due to hormonal issues, things they have been exposed to while growing up, and alcohol and/or drug influence.

When you find that a date is doing things like: moving a bit too fast with his or her hands, pressuring you into having an intimate encounter or talking wildly about sex, you might want to step back and observe this person for awhile.

People, who tend to be a bit too flirtatious, have a long history of break ups, have home wrecked, and caused chaos in their own families are not good partners. Those that don’t bother to analyze why these troubled lovers behave like they do, are use to their shady conduct, tend to make excuses for their inappropriate ways, look the other way, or won’t say much especially family members. 

You will know when something doesn’t feel or look right with your "too warm and friendly" date. You might even question others on what you experienced. Take some time to research what you have witnessed with the flirty individual and you just may find a label for the person’s personality like histrionic or bi-polar disorder for starters.

Those, who can handle people that display much friendliness, are usually used to them because of influences they have experienced in the past with others. If you have not been exposed to people like this, their actions will definitely make you feel uncomfortable. You will also find this very affectionate person will trigger a myriad of emotions within you including: jealousy, rage, distrust, and depression. People like this, act as if they are very much into you, but then you later see the same behavior being displayed with everyone else. This can be unnerving! You don’t feel very special nor do you feel like the date is trustworthy.

These very friendly people are not only sweet and sexy with their partners, relatives and friends, but they can also be quite unprofessional. They will encourage inappropriate workplace conversations and permit prohibited touch with leadership and co-workers while making excuses for their conduct.

Four things to pay attention to when dealing with a very flirty person includes:
  1. Whether they have boundaries when it comes to sexy talk with you and others.
  2. Do they respect you and what you say about their behavior?
  3. Do they often defend their actions?
  4. Do you feel like they want you to change your ways while justifying their inappropriate actions with others?
If you detect a date is being a bit too flirty with yourself, relatives, friends, and strangers, you will want to confront this person. Mention what you saw and share how you feel about it. If the date’s behavior doesn’t change, then most likely this person has deep-rooted issues and may not be a good fit for you.

Nicholl McGuire also contributes to another dating blog specifically for young women dating older men and vice versa.  See here.

Sunday

Compassionate Dates, Chocolate Lovers and Comedians

If you have dated a long time, then you have met your 3 C dates: Compassion, Chocolate and Comedian. These three types of dates are very similar and require much time and patience. Although on the surface they are kind, sweet and funny, they also are deeply troubled individuals if they have yet to be free of their personal demons.

Compassion

This is the date who loves everyone and everything. He or she is compassionate about the people who are hurting, the decline of the environment, and desires to have a family of his or her own. Compassion might weep when listening and sharing a story. He or she might be quite passionate when talking about a controversial topic. This person tries to see the good in humanity. However, these people sometimes talk much, are involved in many activities, and are on the prowl for some help. If you are equally compassionate about a person, place, cause, or thing, then you will win over your over-the-top concerned date.

Chocolate

The chocolate reference has nothing to do with one’s skin tone, but has everything to do with enjoying the sweetness of life. Chocolate lovers use their desserts to escape, to feel at peace, and to ponder during quiet moments. Sometimes these folks, with a sweet tooth, eat much which results in a number of health and mental issues for them. In addition, the chocolate type can be emotional, easily angered, and will not hesitate to argue one’s point with words or fists depending on what he or she has been through in life. If you don’t like chocolate, so to speak, and find it too expensive to buy, don’t date Chocolate. However, if you love chocolate too and have your share of issues as well, then you just might be a good match.

Comedian

A date with a funny bone is a real joy. He or she uses jokes to make people feel at ease. You will have a good time with the Comedian going places, laughing at stuff, and feeling alive. But these people tend to have their share of problems that are no laughing matter. The jokes are a mere tool to cover up pain, past childhood issues, and possibly abuse. When the Comedian is not in the mood to be funny, you most likely will have to endure the personality change until the funny guy or girl emerges once again.

When dating any one of these types, be sure that you have the patience and time to dedicate to a relationship. However, don’t be surprised if one of these dates suddenly doesn’t want to go out with you anymore. Sometimes it doesn’t take much to trigger negative emotions, and if that happens, then Compassion will focus on her cause, Chocolate will indulge in her sweets, and Comedian will lose himself in yet another joke.

Nicholl McGuire is the author of Floral Beauty on a Dead End Street, Tell Me Mother You're Sorry and other books.

Wednesday

How to Tell if a Date has a Good Sense of Humor

Some people couldn’t make a baby laugh much less an adult. Boring, dry, and humorless people who often take themselves too seriously are most often unhappy. When they do laugh, it must be something terribly funny or for some, quite bizarre—the kind of things that most people wouldn’t dare think was laughable.

A person, who considers his or herself funny, might want to think about whether others believe he or she is funny too. If you have support from many people that show you are the kind of person who can make an audience laugh their socks off, then you most likely are beyond just funny, you could put together a stand up act. However, for the majority of people they aren’t funny like comedians, but on a good day, they do have a sense of humor.

Now, how would you know whether a date is a person who could take a joke, laugh at faults, listen to funny stories about events, and not feel guilty? Well, you would have to test this person periodically. See how he or she responds to your wit. Some people are able to laugh about almost anything and not feel bad, while others not so much. If you find that your date is not responsive or looks at you peculiar, take note, he or she may not find you amusing.

If one having a sense of humor is high on your list, then don’t settle for someone who is often serious. You will find later that your personality and your date’s might not be compatible. A person doesn’t have to be equally funny, but he or she just needs to be a bit laid back and open to some humorous story-telling. Judgmental or critical people tend to hold their laughter and will expect you to do the same. They may look at you with piercing eyes admonishing you to, “Be quiet, shut up…That’s not funny!”

A date who struggles with making his or her dates laugh is trying just too hard. Sometimes comical things just show up in daily life and when they do you have to take advantage of those moments. You might want to repeat the hilarious incident later to get another laugh from your date. You could add your own personal twist to the event.

Watching funny movies, attending a comedic event, or listening to a comedian while you are in the car with a date will break the ice. It will also create a pleasant atmosphere that just might be memorable for the two of you.


You can learn a lot about a person based on what he or she laughs at. Some people have a dark humor that can make you feel quite uneasy. Most likely, these individuals have a dark side too. Others have a child-like humor that can be quite annoying. There’s a good chance these folks are immature in other areas of their lives as well. Then there are those who have a simplistic outlook on life that includes laughing at the little things. These people might be mature. Whatever one’s sense of humor as long as the person is upbeat like your self, he or she just might be a keeper.

Nicholl McGuire is the author of many books including: Laboring to Love Myself, Tell Me Mother You're Sorry, When Mothers Cry, Know Your Enemy: The Christian's Critic.

Sunday

12 Things You Just Don't Deeply Think About Before You Date People


When dating, most singles enjoy the rush they feel when meeting someone new.  It feels great, and in some cases, you feel even more alive.  However, those wonderful feelings come crashing down real soon when you start to realize that there are many differences and not as many similarities you share with a date.  For some, they have already talked about marriage, children, moving in together, and more.

1.  Location

Do you bother to think how long it takes to drive from Point A to Point B and whether you are willing to keep it up or pay plane fare to see someone?  At some point, you or someone you like will want some assistance with the transportation fees.  Will you or he/she consider moving if things get serious?  Is saving money more important than whether or not you and this person is sincerely compatible?

2.  Ethnicity related issues

Face it, not every ethnicity (no matter how much you think you know about it) is easy to get along with when you factor things in like:  economics, culture, background, customs, etc.  Ethnicity issues will arise, so one best be prepared.  How will your family and your date's kin treat you during the relationship process (we aren't talking first meetings, people fake support)?  The personal, professional and societal issues related to interracial dating will grow and love just might not conquer all.

3.  The parent of your date's children and his/her extended relatives you might one day meet over and over again

The idea that you might have to deal with the parent of your date's children should make you feel uncomfortable at first.  No parent is going to feel completely okay with a stranger being around his or her children if that person sincerely cares about them.  Also, there is the possibility that grandparents will want to see their grandchildren which means you will meet your date's ex and his or her family and possibly close mutual friends.

4.  You will be helping your date care for children financially and physically sooner or later.

When you date someone with children you have to embrace everything that comes with them.  If you are up for the task or think you can manipulate situations to keep children at a distance, think again! Strategies will be exposed and one day there will be no relationship.

5.  Possible controlling or crazy in-laws

If a date complains of abusive parents and/or relatives.  There is a good possibility that he or she has been significantly impacted negatively.  If you have no patience for the damsel in distress or the abused little boy, then don't continue to date.  People who can deal with survivors are usually very compassionate, patient, understanding, and caring individuals.  You might think you can, but until you are repeatedly tested, you really don't know.  He or she might still be connected with abusers and you might end up in a protector role having to verbally or physically battle with controlling and/or crazy in-laws.

6.  Significant differences in one's religious faith

There will be those times when you might connect with someone who claims to be a believer in a higher power.  Now you may or may not be a believer.  Consider the following:  if you are insincere when it comes to spirituality/religion, have many personal hang-ups with spiritual teachings, are unwilling to compromise, and more (or vice versa), do you really want to deal with someone who makes you feel uncomfortable inside everytime a spiritual topic about something very important or unimportant to you comes up?

7.  Job responsibilities

Jobs can be demanding, so if you know you are the attention seeking type, you don't need to settle for someone who simply puts his or her job above everyone and everything else.  The cell phone rings, "I got to take this..."  There is an emergency at work, off they go.  In addition, if you know you can't tolerate the work they do due to smells, frequent tiredness, appearance, and more, once again don't settle.

8.  Rumors could be true

You heard some eye-opening things about a date and you might have dismissed them, don't.  Find out what more is going on with them and are the rumors indeed true.  Some folks don't take rejection very well, so protect yourself.  Get as much information as you can about him or her before you cut them off.  Take photos and video.  Visit their home, workplace and other places.  Record and keep crazy or strange messages.  Go to police before things go from bad to worse.  If need be, move, change phone numbers, etc.  Don't reveal any vital information about yourself during the early stages and don't show your driver's license or tell them where your family members stay.  If they already know a lot about you, they will reveal it subtly or boldly when you converse with them.  This may or may not be a red flag unless he or she has a history of stalking exs.  See if you can get this person to use an exs full name, location and more then look this person up.  Find out what high school they went to and seek out old classmates.  Chances are you will learn more about a possibly crazy date through an ex or former friends.

9.  Their bad habits

If you don't like certain things about your date now, those little annoyances will turn into big issues later.  Wait until that first argument.  Know what you can tolerate.

10.  Their lack of money

A person with money issues will expect assistance one day. Broke people are more needy than someone without money woes.  Pay attention to those "I need" "Let me borrow" or "Could you pay for..." signs.  You will be assisting with bills, helping with entertainment, buying gifts, and more for the needy fellow or gal with regret unfortunately.

11.  Trust issues

When someone says they have "trust issues," believe it!  They won't trust you much either.  Be prepared for frequent questions about your daily activities, who you know, where you go, and he or she will check through your things when you aren't looking.

12.  Revealing information about the past

Were you listening closely to the sense of humor about what a date said or did during a break up? Did you read between the lines when he or she told a story about something that happened to her? Had you noticed the pauses, lies, exaggerations, cover-ups, minimizing, denying, and blaming when you asked your date direct questions?  What does all that mean for your future with him or her?  Trouble.

Put aside the sweet, cozy feelings for a moment and get real with yourself.  Don't play games with what you know to be true.  When the writing is on the wall, read it!  You can save yourself future heartache, an unwanted pregnancy, moving in together, money, time, and other things.  Be wise!

Nicholl McGuire shares spiritual insight on YouTube channel: nmenterprise7.

Saturday

Family and Friends: Just How Important are They to a Date?

Some will talk of how much they love and appreciate their family and friends, while others will express little, if any, emotion about their so-called loved ones. The truth is not everyone likes or loves their kin. Therefore, if you’re single and dating, expect it.

When dating someone, who mentions one or a few relatives quite often in negative ways. Think about just how much influence the loved ones has over this person and how much time he or she spends listening and doing what these people say. There is a good possibility that the date is quite close to his or her relatives even if this person might be angry at times when talking about them. Now if a date doesn’t tell you too much about his or her family, then most likely they don’t find much worth telling, because they may be boring, busy, or bad. You will need to listen and learn just how strong or weak is one's family connection.

Not everyone who claims something is wrong with their family is as bad as they would want you to believe. Some daters are liars, exaggerators, look for pity, and have a variety of personality disorders. You won’t know the severity of the family issues until you get the other side’s version. Compare what you know from a partner with what you learned from them and you will find the following: whether or not your date is a manipulator, if he or she is really such a nice, outgoing or friendly person, and if you can tolerate the date and relatives if they are quite negative with one another.

Too much talking about family and friends isn't good particularly when one is not that close to his or her family--the conversations can be quite overwhelming, emotional, redundant, boring, and crazy.  If you should correct, warn, or say something unflattering about a date's relatives, you just might find yourself in a verbal battle.  In addition, it is usually a bad sign the date has not matured yet emotionally and still very much needs his or her family’s support on many things. 

If you should notice the cell phone is often buzzing, an email inbox is flooded with mail from relatives, and every time there is a family gathering your date is expected to attend, you will have to determine whether you can endure so much family involvement. You might be able to handle it if your family is equally involved in your life. But if you are not use to this sort of thing, it will begin to grate on your nerves. You will think, “Does he/she ever do anything without his or her family?” The longer you stay in the relationship with the date, the more tempted you will be to want to keep this person away from his or her family on most occasions. This will cause arguments.

Establishing family boundaries is one good way of keeping one’s intimate business private. You never want to share so much about your date and what you like or don’t like about him or her as well as activities you do together with family members. There will be those who will not like your date or you. 

Family can be bias and don’t always have your best interests in mind. If you notice a date is often defending the relationship, it would be a good idea to communicate your concerns and establish some boundaries. Look for ways to problem solve while protecting what might turn into a future marriage.


The more you and your date discover about family members early on, the less likely you will argue about them later as your partnership matures.

Nicholl McGuire 

Twitter @nicholl mcguire
email nichollmcguire@gmail.com

She's Crazy by Nicholl McGuire

She's Crazy by Nicholl McGuire
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