Take every argument, painful story, and other negative things related to a bad relationship and turn them all around for good! Challenge yourself or the friend to do better in other areas of his or her life until you or the individual is ready to make a difference in the intimate relationship. In the meantime, it goes on the backburner and you press forward using the hurt to get up off the floor of life and start playing again!
What in your life (other than a relationship) needs to be changed and rearranged? What about other connections that are drama free--have they been nurtured lately? Could you be doing something to make a difference in other people's lives while you think of a plan to break free from your own negative stuff?
You see the failed romance is a stepping stone on a bigger and greater you! I know you can't see this right now, but it is! Oftentimes we make mistakes, but learn not to do certain things again. We get this on the job, when teaching young children and reflecting on our lives when we were teens. So now use the same thinking now. Sometimes it only takes one time to burn your hand on the stove or it just might take half your life to stop burning your hand on a hot stove, but you eventually get it and can then caution others.
Consider what those disputes, mistakes and mayhem is calling your attention to and what is it that you still have yet to accomplish in your life? For instance, if a partner is cheating could this be a sign you need to step your game up and be more loving and caring toward yourself? Notice I didn't say toward the partner--he or she messed up and will most likely cause further damage to the relationship. Instead, you are going to use the pain you are suffering (whatever he or she did to you) and better you!
People who undergo a true healing process don't fix themselves up for others. These determined individuals learn to make changes to build up their own self-esteem, wealth, appearance, and more. They redirect their focus from the bad that is going on in their personal lives and turn it all into something good in other areas.
This is what I have done myself for years and you can do it too!
Nicholl McGuire manages Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate, When Mothers Cry, and other blogs and has authored over 10 books and recorded many spiritual messages on YouTube channel: nmenterprise7.