When dating, most singles enjoy the rush they feel when meeting someone new. It feels great, and in some cases, you feel even more alive. However, those wonderful feelings come crashing down real soon when you start to realize that there are many differences and not as many similarities you share with a date. For some, they have already talked about marriage, children, moving in together, and more.
Do you bother to think how long it takes to drive from Point A to Point B and whether you are willing to keep it up or pay plane fare to see someone? At some point, you or someone you like will want some assistance with the transportation fees. Will you or he/she consider moving if things get serious? Is saving money more important than whether or not you and this person is sincerely compatible?
2. Ethnicity related issues
Face it, not every ethnicity (no matter how much you think you know about it) is easy to get along with when you factor things in like: economics, culture, background, customs, etc. Ethnicity issues will arise, so one best be prepared. How will your family and your date's kin treat you during the relationship process (we aren't talking first meetings, people fake support)? The personal, professional and societal issues related to interracial dating will grow and love just might not conquer all.
3. The parent of your date's children and his/her extended relatives you might one day meet over and over again
The idea that you might have to deal with the parent of your date's children should make you feel uncomfortable at first. No parent is going to feel completely okay with a stranger being around his or her children if that person sincerely cares about them. Also, there is the possibility that grandparents will want to see their grandchildren which means you will meet your date's ex and his or her family and possibly close mutual friends.
4. You will be helping your date care for children financially and physically sooner or later.
When you date someone with children you have to embrace everything that comes with them. If you are up for the task or think you can manipulate situations to keep children at a distance, think again! Strategies will be exposed and one day there will be no relationship.
5. Possible controlling or crazy in-laws
If a date complains of abusive parents and/or relatives. There is a good possibility that he or she has been significantly impacted negatively. If you have no patience for the damsel in distress or the abused little boy, then don't continue to date. People who can deal with survivors are usually very compassionate, patient, understanding, and caring individuals. You might think you can, but until you are repeatedly tested, you really don't know. He or she might still be connected with abusers and you might end up in a protector role having to verbally or physically battle with controlling and/or crazy in-laws.
6. Significant differences in one's religious faith
There will be those times when you might connect with someone who claims to be a believer in a higher power. Now you may or may not be a believer. Consider the following: if you are insincere when it comes to spirituality/religion, have many personal hang-ups with spiritual teachings, are unwilling to compromise, and more (or vice versa), do you really want to deal with someone who makes you feel uncomfortable inside everytime a spiritual topic about something very important or unimportant to you comes up?
7. Job responsibilities
Jobs can be demanding, so if you know you are the attention seeking type, you don't need to settle for someone who simply puts his or her job above everyone and everything else. The cell phone rings, "I got to take this..." There is an emergency at work, off they go. In addition, if you know you can't tolerate the work they do due to smells, frequent tiredness, appearance, and more, once again don't settle.
8. Rumors could be true
You heard some eye-opening things about a date and you might have dismissed them, don't. Find out what more is going on with them and are the rumors indeed true. Some folks don't take rejection very well, so protect yourself. Get as much information as you can about him or her before you cut them off. Take photos and video. Visit their home, workplace and other places. Record and keep crazy or strange messages. Go to police before things go from bad to worse. If need be, move, change phone numbers, etc. Don't reveal any vital information about yourself during the early stages and don't show your driver's license or tell them where your family members stay. If they already know a lot about you, they will reveal it subtly or boldly when you converse with them. This may or may not be a red flag unless he or she has a history of stalking exs. See if you can get this person to use an exs full name, location and more then look this person up. Find out what high school they went to and seek out old classmates. Chances are you will learn more about a possibly crazy date through an ex or former friends.
9. Their bad habits
If you don't like certain things about your date now, those little annoyances will turn into big issues later. Wait until that first argument. Know what you can tolerate.
10. Their lack of money
A person with money issues will expect assistance one day. Broke people are more needy than someone without money woes. Pay attention to those "I need" "Let me borrow" or "Could you pay for..." signs. You will be assisting with bills, helping with entertainment, buying gifts, and more for the needy fellow or gal with regret unfortunately.
11. Trust issues
When someone says they have "trust issues," believe it! They won't trust you much either. Be prepared for frequent questions about your daily activities, who you know, where you go, and he or she will check through your things when you aren't looking.
12. Revealing information about the past
Were you listening closely to the sense of humor about what a date said or did during a break up? Did you read between the lines when he or she told a story about something that happened to her? Had you noticed the pauses, lies, exaggerations, cover-ups, minimizing, denying, and blaming when you asked your date direct questions? What does all that mean for your future with him or her? Trouble.
Put aside the sweet, cozy feelings for a moment and get real with yourself. Don't play games with what you know to be true. When the writing is on the wall, read it! You can save yourself future heartache, an unwanted pregnancy, moving in together, money, time, and other things. Be wise!
Nicholl McGuire shares spiritual insight on YouTube channel: nmenterprise7.