Things Some Men Will Do to Get Women to Accept Their Cheating Ways

How did the single woman go from thinking she was his number one to accepting being his number two, three or even four? After all the wonderful times she has had with this man and all the inconsistent stories that came with them, she realizes this man has been playing her! But she isn't like most women, oh no, she is different. The lonely, desperate woman won't leave the man who has given her no commitment, honesty or even love when she finds out he is seeing another woman or women; rather, she agrees to be his friend with benefits—a lover who may go out on dates with her friend while giving him sex.

At first, she doesn't mind giving up the sex to this man all the while hoping that one day she might be his number one. She might even let him borrow her car, give him money or buy him gifts in the hopes that she will reach that coveted position in his life, number one. She thinks, "I don't care about those other women, he's going to be mine!"

Thinking that she has one up on the competition, because of her beauty and/or bank account, she keeps going along with this arrangement of, "he cheats on me, but I will stay true to him," until one day, she asks herself, "Am I happy? Do I really want to keep on living like this? How exactly did I get here anyway?" Usually it's at that eye-opening moment in her friendship with benefits relationship that she no longer wants to be the player's part-time fling, but his exclusive woman. Of course, her newly found revelation doesn't go over too well with the player.

Chances are you may have told your lover something when you two first started dating that sounded like this, "I'm not interested in anything serious...let's take it slow. We can be friends. I'm seeing other people too." So the player translated this to mean, "She's not marriage material, good, because I'm not ready for a wife!"

Let's face it getting married has gotten a bad reputation because so many get divorced. This man a single woman may be "creeping, cheating," playing with or getting played by isn't marriage material despite her wishing to be his number one. If he is already married, he isn't worth waiting for, because look at how he is treating his wife—he's with the single woman too!? The ever-popular question I have asked myself in the past and other women is, "Do you think he will settle down again, once he gets a divorce?" The newly divorced man might act worse, because he is legally a free man.

He makes promises.

The charmer sold the naive woman on promises like helping her build her dreams. He might have fulfilled a few too. But at some point, he will evaluate what she is doing for him, besides accepting his hand-outs and satisfying him physically. Most likely, an occasional lover isn't doing anything for him mentally, because if she was, he wouldn't still keep her and the other women around.

He acts like he needs her or can't live without her.

A man who is unstable in his own mind, needs mental help and usually the kind of help he needs doesn't come from human lips; rather it comes from having a faith if he is a believer or unfortunately, if he is backslidden or an unbeliever help may come from man-made substances. A friend, with benefits, might suggest, "Won't you start going back to church? Why don't you talk to a counselor? How about you hit this real quick, it will make you feel better? Drink this—it tastes good!" However, if he does any of these things he will have to sacrifice something whether it's his mind, body, soul and/or all three. Church usually isn't high on the priority list neither is seeking a professional for a substance abuse problem. He might have already taken some of his lover's advice and material wealth just to keep her around a little longer. The lover might have reasoned to herself, "He loves me...he's going to marry me." She may have told relatives and friends, who questioned her actions with him, "I'm just helping a friend." Meanwhile, he may be telling his friends, "She's nice, but I'm not in love with her." There are so many women being deceived daily by the bad boy who loves his mama, boys, God, car, but doesn't love his, wife, woman or mother of his children! Yes he needs you for the moment, but forever?

He creates fun distractions to keep her from asking questions.

The romantic movies, books, and music that women entertain themselves with are mere distractions that keep their eyes and ears closed all the while hoping for what they have seen on TV or read in a book. Welcome to reality to all my sisters who have been played or are being played by men! A woman arrives at second best, because she doesn't want to see the truth. Her lover doesn't want her to see the truth either so out comes all the gifts, flattering words, even visits to the movies so she doesn't have to ask too many questions.

The naïve, single woman doesn't want to see the man who kept looking at his cell phone during their first few dates, the man who made excuses as to why he couldn't go out in public with her, the man who said he was going out with his boys but really was with someone else, the man who said he loved women but really loves men, and on and on!

Women allow temporal feelings of excitement and lust to take them on that magical ride of "I love you, I can see myself spending the rest of my life with you" in the beginning of the relationship, but once they come down off that high to face reality, some of these single women are left feeling empty, alone, angry, and bitter—just another notch on his belt. So many women blame the man, his other women, and even the children, but rarely self for the poor decisions she makes when it comes to her choices in mates.

Until a jilted lover deems herself worthy of the truth, she will continue to look at that face looking back at her in the mirror, saying, "So how does it feel being second best?"

By Nicholl McGuire

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