Advice for the Mature Man Dating a Young Woman

You may have heard the phrase, "Grow up!" from a loved one. A statement such as this is normally said during an argument or after one has said or done something that appears childish or ridiculous. You may have used this statement while disputing with your partner or vice versa.
There comes a point in any new relationship where couples begin to evaluate whether their partners are mature enough to be in a relationship.
You may have experienced far too many arguments lately with a woman years younger than you. You noticed frequent emotional outbursts over the littlest of things that to any outsider would be considered "no big deal," but to your partner, it's the end of the world.
When her actions and reactions start trickling outside of the bedroom and into the car, in front of relatives at an event or witnessed by strangers on the street, then you know you have a serious problem on your hands! Are these outbursts sincerely legitimate or childish temper- tantrums?
Consider the following signs.
One. She finds fault with you and everyone else; rather than looking inward.
From her tardiness getting to work to her frequent mood swings, she believes you are the reason why she doesn't feel comfortable in the relationship. You can't bring a problem to her attention without her sighing deeply, rolling her eyes, or defending her actions with, "Well if you...and you should...why don't you..." She doesn't want to be held accountable for anything, it's always the other person's fault.
Two. She still thinks that clubbing is the only good form of entertainment.
Whenever she suggests a place to go, it's always the club, a bar or a place to drink. You may have enjoyed partying with her at one time, but now that lifestyle is getting old especially when you see she doesn't monitor her alcohol consumption very well. You may have shared your concern with her but all she can say is, "You're so boring!"
Three. She argues with her parents and others like she is still a teen.
There will be no getting through to your girlfriend, fiancé, or wife when debating. She will yell, cuss, and/or throw things to ensure that she doesn't have to listen to your negative feedback. "Besides moron, what about you!" She yells when confronted. Then she follows up her insults with a list of everything that is wrong with you. Relatives and friends have warned you about her sometimes in a nice way and other times in a bold way, "You could do better!" some have told you. Yet, you insist on taking this bad girl's insults and/or physical abuses all in the name of "love."
Four. She expects you to buy her out of her problems and grant her every wish.
She overdrafts her bank account for the umpteenth time and she sweet talks you into helping her out. She owes someone money and she begs for your help with promises to pay you back. She is angered with all the people who won't loan her any money. She makes excuses as to why she can't balance her checkbook.
Five. She gossips about everything from her best friend's relationship to celebrity dramas.
While laughing at yet another person's downfall, she expects you to join in on the fun. You don't think other people's problems are the least bit funny so you refrain from talking to her about them. She gets angry and accuses you of not listening to her and not caring about what she says. "You don't listen to don't like to talk to me!" You try to explain you aren't interested in that kind of subject matter, but she flicks you off and calls you a name or two.
Six. She thinks that getting married and having a baby will complete her.
You may have had this conversation in a round-about way if you aren't already married. But from the looks of things, the immature woman nor you are ready to have a baby much less do anything else. She tries to convince you of "how cute" a son or daughter with your eyes might be. She confides about how she wants to give her children a better life than she had and shares stories that make even your dog howl at the moon. She may talk of a wedding complete with all your family and how dapper you might look dressed in your suit. It all seems so nice until your next argument about that "b*tch at the restaurant staring at you" and "What!? You want to....her!" she screams.
Seven. She has no respect for authority or your family.
You introduced her to loved ones and friends and initially she seemed okay with them until they started doing the following: telling her what to do, talking about her to others and doing other little things to anger her. She didn't bother to come to you for advice; instead, she let them all have it! "I told my boss off...I won't let your mother talk to me any kind of way...if you think I will just let them do whatever..." There is a right and a wrong way to handle every situation, and she chooses to handle it in the most unorthodox and disrespectful way she can!
Eight. She cries, ignores or plots revenge on all who wrong her.
You may have heard her outline her plan with a girlfriend over the phone, read it on a piece of paper and/or she boldly told you what she will do to anyone who does something to her. A few times you may have been the victim or the accomplice in some of her evil schemes.
Nine. She loves junk food, detests healthy food and exercise and falsely assumes she will always look attractive.
Warning after warning you have given her about her junk food consumption and she just blew you off! "Listen, it's my body! I love my pork rinds, my coke, my chocolate candies..." Lately, you have noticed how her mid-section is increasing and her behind is spreading, but all she can say is, "Love me for me!"
Ten. She focuses far too much on receiving than giving.
"It's my birthday what did you get me? It's our anniversary what did you buy me? What did you bring me back...did you get me what I asked for..." However, when you ask her the same, she always has an excuse.
Now that you have ten signs that quite frankly tell you she hasn't grown up yet, use them to determine whether you want to stay in a relationship with this immature person. If you are only dating or engaged to a woman like this, there is still time to cut your losses. Yet, if you are married to a woman like this, you will need to find ways to manage each situation as it comes up.
Be honest with her at all times (otherwise you will be accused of acting immature,) share your feelings, and whatever you do, don't back down because she has a crying spell or a temper tantrum. Just like a child, she uses her emotional outbursts to control you in order to get you to back down.
Be clear as to what your boundaries are and how you expect to be treated from now on or there is no future with you. Ask her what she wants from this relationship and whether she is willing to go the distance. Find out what she is willing to do to "Grow up!"
By Nicholl McGuire
You can find more articles like this at Practical advice for both the older man dating a younger woman and vice versa.


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