STD? Need to Tell a Partner?

You may have contracted a Sexually Transmitted Disease (STD) while cheating, got it from your partner who was cheating, or it came up overnight and you can’t recall what happened. How it got there doesn’t matter as much as when will you tell your partner?

Hiding the truth

When you avoid talking to your partner about an STD, you will notice more stress is added to what may already be a troubled relationship. You find a gradual disinterest in sex with your lover. Negative thoughts about your partner begin to swarm your mind. Your health begins to decline especially if you haven’t seen a doctor. Your partner will begin to notice your sudden attitude change. He or she may start finding fault with you, hurling insults and accusations, because he or she doesn’t understand what is going on with you. Don’t allow your partner to be in the dark for long. You can’t blame your mate when he or she doesn’t know what to think, because you won’t say anything or when you finally do want to confess, out comes a lie.

Tell the truth

Hopefully you made a doctor’s appointment, but if you haven’t just yet, do it as soon as possible. The worse thing to do is to let this health problem drag out. Chances are your partner may have it too and the symptoms just haven’t showed up yet. In some cases, some people never show any signs. Either way, you don’t want the signs to do the talking for you or it just might start World War III in your home! So what will you say? Think about how it would make you feel if your partner knew all along that he or she had a disease and didn’t tell you. You can start by talking about your symptoms and asking if he or she has been experiencing anything different lately.

Finding out the truth

Let’s say you realize you didn’t give your partner the STD, but that he or she actually gave it to you. No matter how angry you get, remember anything you do to retaliate could possibly cost you more problems in the future like your freedom. When approaching your partner, ask rather than tell as mentioned before. For example, “I noticed something strange appearing on my skin the other day, did you notice anything on yours?” You will also need to think back to a time where your partner may have complained of some problems and avoided having sex with you. If this happened prior to your finding out about your own STD and you haven’t been sexually active with anyone else, then most likely you contracted it from her or him.

Now that you have expressed your concern to your partner about your STD, you will want to make a follow up appointment with your doctor to be sure that it is gone. You will also want to stock up on some condoms and avoid any unprotected oral or anal penetration. There are some STDs that can still be contracted even with protection. Turn on lights prior to sex. Learn to be more observant of your sexual partner’s body, his or her bedding and what he or she says before having sex. For instance, bumps and rashes in or around the genital area is usually a clear indication a sexual partner has an STD. Also, a person with a bump in or around his or her mouth may pass on a virus, so avoid kissing and performing in oral sex. Check bedding for what appears to be crumbs or lint look a little closer to be sure they don’t move; if so, they just might be crabs, lice or some other type of insects. Sometimes couples hint in conversation that they are seeing other people. They may talk about visiting with a friend, going out to the club, spending the night over someone’s house or going out with friends after work. Pay close attention to clues your partner is sleeping with others. If so, you are putting yourself at risk continuing to sleep with this person knowing that they have other lovers. There is nothing wrong with being overly cautious about sex, abstaining until marriage or protecting oneself no matter how long you have been in a relationship—it’s your life handle it with care.

By Nicholl McGuire

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