You just met someone and have found yourself enjoying every moment you can be in his or her presence. You find yourself falling head over heels in love with him or her quickly. You feel burdened to want to share your feelings, so how do you open your heart to this person without scaring them away or making them feel uncomfortable?
Observe actions and listen closely to conversations about feelings.
One major mistake couples make early on in relationships is not listening to one another. Although you may feel like opening your heart up, you will need to be sure that your partner is ready to listen. If he or she is talking often about an ex, you don’t want to reveal your feelings until he or she is completely over the past. In addition, you don’t want to open your heart if this person is still talking about his or her ex in a way that makes you feel uncomfortable. Your current partner is most likely noticing something in your demeanor that says you too may have ex issues. So until you have everything straightened out with your past and vice versa, lip service just won’t do.
Your partner should be showing signs that he or she enjoys your company. You shouldn’t have to be concerned about whether this person’s actions in your presence are consistent with how he or she behaves when you aren’t around. Watch and listen to how he or she expresses his or her feelings about you.
When you are unsure about how your partner feels about you, ask questions before revealing how you feel. Ask questions like, “Do you think we are ready for a committed relationship? What is it about me that may bother you? What would you be willing to do differently to bring us closer?” Asking questions like these and more, alerts the one you are with that you are serious about dating him or her exclusively.
Schedule time together around both familiar and unfamiliar surroundings.
You will desire to get to know this person more as your feelings increase. So what better way to do it is by taking the one you are falling in love with to places where his or her emotions will be tested? There are certain personality types that don’t do well in different social surroundings with others like a church, concert, club, or school. These people become very selfish and controlling about their mates especially if the opposite sex is frequently talking with him or her. Sometimes controlling personality types come out at home and/or work creating a tensed environment for all parties involved. How will you truly discover who you are falling in love with if you have never been at this person’s home, office or even a favorite hangout spot?
Some people tend to act very anxious in unfamiliar settings. Observe how your partner handles the pressure of slow service, traffic, and long lines. Pay close attention to how your feelings might be impacted.
Meet relatives and friends.
Most new couples want to put off meeting the family for as long as they can especially if they had a bad experience in the past. The sooner one meets the family, the better. When you are experiencing real feelings for this woman or man that may lead to marriage one day, you will need to find out things like: how close your friend is to his or her family, what kind of people are they and will you be able to get along with them?
Go shopping together.
What better way to find out if your girl or guy is cheap, a spendthrift, a bargain shopper or just plain boring is to take him or her shopping. What you will find out when you schedule shopping trips will be things like your friend’s spending habits and interests and whether you can handle them. If the topic of money is plenty important to you, then hold off talking about your feelings until you know you can effectively communicate your money concerns with your future partner.
Introduce a controversial topic.
When first meeting someone it is usually not proper to discuss religion, politics, money etc. but you have known this person long enough to challenge him or her in these areas. Share deep feelings with him or her that might lead to marriage, so why not find out what ignites this person’s fire besides sex. How passionate is he or she about God? What does your friend think about abortion? How concerned is he or she about the environment? Know where your partner stands on the issues that might affect your relationship in the future. Often we are so concerned about where politicians stand on issues that we overlook our partner’s stance.
Well now that you have some food for thought hopefully you will be cautious about opening your heart up to your new partner until you are certain about some of those significant relationship issues like money matters, relatives, and religious views that make or break up a relationship.
by Nicholl McGuire