Are You Lonely? Here's 7 Tips to Make You Feel Good About Yourself
Are you a single person just out of a bad relationship, recently moved, retired, walked out of a cult church, or distant from trouble-making relatives or friends? You may be content with your decisions, but not happy with those lonely feelings that tend to come and go. You really want to make the most of your free time. You may have told yourself in the past, "When I get out of my situation, I will do this...I will do that." Well you got out of it, good for you! Yet, things aren't exactly as great as you thought. You may not be in that miserable relationship anymore, yet you miss him or her. You thought that you would be happy once you moved out of a relative or friend's home, but you find yourself often bored. You thought that by leaving the church, you would love being alone for awhile. However, these scenarios and others like them, are riddled with one thing, loneliness.
When and how did you start feeling so lonely? Was it when you started pondering too long about the past while listening to an old favorite tune or watching a movie? Was it when you heard from someone from a former group affiliation that passed on a message, "Missing you"? Could it have been when you had a dream about some of your recent actions which left you feeling like you made a big mistake? Whenever you first started feeling lonely while knowing what might have triggered it, will help you to avoid the people or things that keep making you feel this way. However, the cause of loneliness is only part of the battle, ask yourself, "What should I do to get out of this slump?"
One. You will need to look at your existing relationships. Do you have any one person or group that you periodically spend free time or have you isolated yourself from people for awhile and why? Your lonely feelings might be a clear indication your fast from people is over and now it's time to start socializing again. Check out local events in town. Take up a friend on an offer to visit a new place, attend a concert or just sit at a local restaurant and catch up. Do remember not to overwhelm yourself (familiarity breeds contempt) and keep your life open to more things besides intimate companionship.
Two. Avoid the need to substitute a friendship by chatting on a social media site. This is not as fulfilling as face-to-face contact. Notice how you feel once you shut off the computer and carry on with your day. Do you fantasize about your contacts online? Do you wish to be in their presence? Do you find yourself going back to your computer like a drug addict needing a fix? Allow your life to be comprised with more than your computer friendships. One day you just might meet someone of interest and the last thing you want to do is share how your days are comprised of nothing more than work, eating, computer activities, watching TV and sleeping--a life like this just might turn off your dream date leaving he or she to wonder what might a future look like with you.
Three. Think about visiting a new place locally, traveling out of state, or taking up a new interest. You will find that your new hobby will keep your mind occupied and gradually you won't think so much about being lonely.
Four. Try volunteering or looking for an additional job. This is a great way to keep your mind off of loneliness especially when you have financial obligations. When you aren't thinking about being lonely, that's when you will attract people to you.
Five. Think about joining a social group that will provide you with opportunities to grow mentally, physically and spiritually. When you are surrounded by like-minded people (that don't take up all your free time), they will make you feel like you are at home. You will begin to feel content about your present situation.
Six. When was the last time you contacted old friends and co-workers? You may want to arrange a lunch or dinner date and catch up. Sometimes people from the past hold the keys to what we should be doing now and into the future, so listen carefully to conversations.
Seven. Learn more about feelings of loneliness. Look for ways you can deal with lonely feelings and research how others cope.
Sometimes we remain lonely because we don't want to put in the effort to conquer lonely feelings. Let's face it can be challenging to meet new people. However, if you learn to pace yourself each day and do the kind of things that involve other people, you won't be lonely much longer. For some people, no matter what they do, they feel like they can't build any real relationships with people. If this describes you, find out what is holding you back from making people connections. You may be experiencing something much deeper besides lonely feelings. Watch for signs of illness, improper eating habits, lack of exercise, side effects from a new medication you may be taking and other things that could be contributing to feelings of sadness, depression and mood swings.
By Nicholl McGuire