Wednesday

On Relationship Issues: Do You Want to Go Home Tonight?

It can become increasingly difficult to come home when trouble is there.  You wish to be anywhere else than with a partner who is showing all signs that he or she is falling out of love with you.  Some bitter partners resent those keys turning locks while secretly wishing that soon-to-be exes would get gone sooner rather than later.


If anyone told you that they have been in worse and "don't worry about it, things get easier..." they obviously have a higher tolerance for upset than you when it comes to his or her own relationship.  Sure, things are easy when you have grown accustomed to the flaws of another human being, but when you aren't in that frame of mind where you are ready to settle with the idea that a partner is wild, crazy, rude, mean, cold, etc. it can be hard to want to stick it out.  In addition, you will have to reach a level of maturity in your relationship that has been long-suffering for years (not months) and be willing to accept the good, bad and ugly with someone while refusing to control or change that person--this is a feat!  When you often watch media that tells you how relationships should look and when you read about what comprises a good relationship and compare it to your own, it can be disheartening.  The good news is that most relationships don't look anything like what the movies portray.


Relationship reality doesn't typically have couples holding hands while walking to the store or kissing passionately waiting for service at an event; instead, most don't touch or talk much to one another.  They are typically busy working, getting ready for work, tending to basic needs, and preparing to go to bed usually with no sex.  Take a look at relationship polls around the web and you will realize just how normal your relationship is as compared to others.  There are up days and down days and those in between where not much happens and it is all okay.  The couples get through the storms and life goes on.


Now there are those relationships where coming home tonight will bring unwanted issues.  Some will scream, fight, threaten, and do other things.  These people, who worry much about a partner's potential meltdown, have cause for concern.  They don't want to come home, but do anyway.  It isn't until they no longer want to face another day of physical and mental abuse that they will stop returning.  See http://laboringtoloveanabusivemate.blogspot.com


If you often feel like you don't want to come home, do the following:


1.  Self-reflect on why this is.  Does your partner say and do things that make it hard to forgive him or her?  Do you like the environment?  Could you be confusing what you are feeling about the partner with the community and building that you are living in?
2.  Be prepared to discuss your feelings and observations with your partner in a way that isn't critical of him or her.  You want this person to really hear you and this won't happen if you approach the him or her in a way that is combative and judgmental.
3.  Ask your partner to share his or her personal observations about you when you come home from work and how does what you do and say make him or her feel?  Although this is difficult to hear, it will help in the process of making some changes if you and your partner are willing.
3.  Do what you can to bring peace to your home.  You live there too; therefore, whatever you can do to make yourself look forward to coming home do it!  Don't assume your partner will always be available and do the things you want to make you happy.  Remember you are responsible for your own happiness!


Nicholl McGuire shares spiritual insight on YouTube channel: nmenterprise7.

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She's Crazy by Nicholl McGuire

She's Crazy by Nicholl McGuire
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