Past Unresolved Relationship Issues Can Get in the Way of a Happy Future

As much as many of us in current relationships would not want to admit how the past has affected our present and possibly our future, it did.  Whether the past was a bad break up, financial loss, death, or something else, upon careful reflection, we learned that much of our issues to date in a relationship have to do with past decision-making.

You might have made a choice that is now costing you much year after year.  You may have assumed that a current partner would be all-too-understanding about an ex-partner and your children, but really isn't, or was okay about how many hours you work daily, but now shows signs he or she is a hindrance to progress.  Whatever the issue, it is a disappointment once you discover that if you don't change certain habits, make necessary adjustments, or do whatever it takes to maintain peace in a relationship that it most likely will come to an end.

Sometimes a selection in a mate is detrimental to one's future, because we saw something in that person that reminded us of someone from the past.  Therefore, the ghost of one's past shows up in our choice of a present partner and might negatively impact the future.  Once this is discovered, most individuals typically want out of the relationship.  We are turned off with the idea that we are with an ex all over again.  The point of dating someone new was not to keep an ex's memory alive, but to rid ourselves of the past.  But when one had a good experience with an ex, it can be hard to distance his or herself from a familiar person.  Those who are Christians know from biblical passages to be cautious of familiar spirits.  When one reminds you of others this is usually not a good sign. 

When relationship challenges increase and you know you are at fault, it would make sense to reflect on what you are saying or doing that is disrupting the flow of the relationship.  Most issues can be resolved, but far too many couples are unwilling to make needed changes.  As a result, they find themselves often arguing over the same things that should have long been dealt with.  Past issues will affect the present and possibly the future.

Nicholl McGuire also writes poetry at


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