Dating Advice, Relationship Problems

The warm feeling that comes over you when you see that special someone online and offline.  He or she makes you feel alive!  You haven't felt this good in years!  You can't get enough of talking to that special friend and drooling over his or her photos.  You want the world to know just how you feel, but you can't say everything or do as much as you want due to concern that the individual might sooner or later let you down or worse not be the one! It is understandable to feel this way.  You don't always know whether a person is sincere about you like you are about him or her.  It is always best to slow down a bit.  Spend time talking and watching the person's mannerisms.  Find out whether he or she is in fact right for you and not just right for the moment. I personally witnessed a friend go from enormous highs in her infatuation of the people she met online to great lows within days of meeting her dates.  She would start off with sta...

Abuse Might Go Into Hiding for the Holidays

A rush to find someone, look for the right look for a first date, communicate one's needs, touch, have sex, fall in love, get married, and have children.  Welcome to Internet dating!  Where the lonely, desperate, confused, crazy, and horny are in a rush to do everything only to crash and burn later. I was one of them. Yes, the inspirational speaker and author of many books, (I wasn't who I am now back then--although I wish maybe I wouldn't have been in such a rush) set out to connect online after a divorce (can we say vulnerable and an easy target).  My ex was cheating and seemed to be quite content with his mistress--a co-worker.  So me, being the kind of gal who wasn't going to sit back and watch their movie unfold right before my eyes, applied for a divorce and started looking online months later.  It felt so nice to be admired online.  I was ready to have some fun--woohoo! As we all know, who have been there and done that, fun doesn't come witho...

The Holidays: He Hit Her Again and She Said It was Her Fault

  When times are good, they are good, but when they are bad...know what you won't tolerate.   Socially Sweet, Privately Cruel Abusive Men by Nicholl McGuire

Do you feel suffocated in a relationship?  Is the partnership all about your mate?  Do you often feel powerless and frustrated?  Check out audio by inspirational speaker and author Nicholl McGuire on Sutros.  Podcast available here:  http://sutros.com/songs/47231-in-relationship-with-controlling-person October is domestic violence awareness month.

The woman you might call, "Crazy" wasn't that way when you first met her. You wouldn't have thought to call her such back then. The words you chose were most likely positive. "She is cute, funny, sweet, and smart," you said. In the past, there was no possible way for you to know about a date's oddities; therefore, start forgiving yourself (if you haven't already) for missing the clues. The odd woman didn't wear a t-shirt that said, "I'm a bit off," but if she had, you probably would have avoided her, unless of course the t-shirt was wet. Then you probably would have at least considered talking to her if nothing else. Some men think with their eyes and body parts then wonder why they can't seem to find the right partner, while others have been burned so much that they learn not to dismiss those warning bells that go off in their minds no matter how sexy, pretty, wealthy, or smart a woman might be. Chances are you have s...

Do you want to feel that "in love" emotion?  Well you can do some things to awake the sleeping heart in a relationship full of mundane routines.  Try the following: 1.  Plan special times together monthly discovering new activities you never experienced together. 2.  Separate for awhile.  Focus on goals, dreams, assist a relative in another state...getting away for an extended length of time is not only liberating, but will help you decide whether the relationship is worth saving. 3.  Find the time to communicate with one another outside of the norm. 4.  Share new things about one another or fun stuff that has happened during the day. 5.  Upgrade your appearance.  Do away with some things that don't enhance your look.  Exercise, watch your eating habits, and rid yourself of toxic behaviors from gossip to recreational drug use. 6.  Stop spending so much time with family, friends, co-workers...and bragging about everyone b...

Months go by and still one is trying to meet that special person, what gives?  You have been ghosted, lied to, analyzed, mistreated, manipulated...these people online are crazy, wild, wounded, and desperate.  It isn't you, right?  It's always them. One of the biggest mistakes people make when dating on or offline is they simply don't be themselves.  They go about the dating world pretending to be easy-going, fun, sweet, nice or whatever else they wish to be.  Yet, as time goes on true colors are revealed and what was once so beautiful or handsome turns out to be a minion from hell! Give yourself some time when online dating.  Allow at least four seasons to go by before committing to an exclusive relationship.  Also, don't assume that you know someone very well after a week of talking and a month of dating.  People who are good at deceiving others can keep up a false persona for a long time before their act begins to unravel.  Watch o...

How many is too many lovers?  How much time is too much time when it comes to staying online meeting and communicating with new friends?  What is the dollar amount on spending too much when dating? Some people go into the dating world blindly and they don't bother to put any limitations on time, money or anything else.  When this sort of thing happens it isn't any wonder that people argue, fuss, break up, obtain STDS, have unwanted pregnancies, go into debt, end up in jail, and more.  There are simply no boundaries! When you date far too many people, you exhaust yourself of them sooner or later.  They all start looking and sounding the same in your mind.  You find yourself disinterested in those you should be interested in and settling with those in between sheets that you really don't like that much. Spending much money on dates has caused many hardships for singles as well as married individuals.  Falling behind in bills won't bring a...

Online dating is a great way to meet your future partner. Last year alone, twice as many marriages occurred between men and women who met online versus couples who met in bars, clubs and at other social events combined. If you’re new to online dating and considering jumping aboard the Tinder bandwagon, it’s worth taking the time to protect yourself and be safe... http://www.datingmetrics.com/online-dating-safety-guide-for-women/

Are you in like or love with a woman who is already engaged or married?  If so, take heed to the following spiritual message.  There is much challenge ahead for you if you choose to ride the waves of such a relationship.  Prepare yourself for unfavorable treatment with her family and children, added emotional stress, and listening to her many stories about her husband/fiancé/boyfriend. Click here:  http://yourlisten.com/nichollmcguire/in-love-with-a-married-or-engaged-woman

You can't say for sure what might happen to your relationship, but you can pay close attention to enough signs early on to determine whether it will survive and become a reasonably quality relationship or a dysfunctional one that might eventually come to an end.  Consider the following signs there are storms ahead. 1.  You or your partner is buying much of the stuff related to the relationship from the gas in the car to go out on a date to the rent for the place you both have sex in. Most likely, you will also be the one paying for more things in the future like his or her child from a previous relationship, a family trip, bailing him or her out financial problems, or paying for medical bills.  Disagreements will occur about money.  If you or partner is in control of paying for most things, you might eventually act prideful and disrespectful about all of what you are doing for this person. 2.  Sex happens either too much or no...

Is there someone that you don't feel comfortable enough with to share how much you love, need and want him or her?  Inspirational speaker Nicholl McGuire also author of Socially, Sweet Privately Cruel Abusive Men and She's Crazy is sharing spiritual wisdom about relying on people and our vulnerabilities.  Click on audio message:  Spiritual Encouragement

It is time to take a long break when you see a bit much of your daddy, mommy, sister, brother, uncle and others in the people that you date.  What is happening are familiar spirits at work.  You are attracting the people that you may not want in your life.  Dysfunctional relationships with loved ones tend to spill over in intimate relationships. A daughter has daddy issues, a son has mommy issues, and all have issues with other loved ones as well.  Think of those you dated in the past that reminded you of someone and why things didn't work with them and why they are still not working with the person you are currently with possibly. We focus on those positive things that make the relationship and dismiss those that don't.  So if you respect, admire, and love a trait in someone, it would make sense to seek that.  However, what some will do is receive all that is wrong and negative with someone because he or she reminds them of some things they experienced...

He was there for you back in the day.  She had done much for you way back when.  But lately things don't look very good because there is far too much arguing.  You start to forget about the positives of the past and you ponder much on why the relationship is just not going to make it in the future. You might need to sit with your social circle and hammer out some details about YOU!  Notice I didn't mention your partner.  A lot of what we go through has much to do with us.  We have issues that go beyond just the minor infraction that caused a disagreement in the first place.  Sometimes we have personal desires to just move on--break up.  However, we self-deceive.  We tell ourselves we want to remain in toxic relationships when we really do not.  We notice the emptiness, the lack of appreciation from a partner, the declining attraction between one another and more early on in relationships, but refuse to do anything about those moments....

The death of a loved one, a job loss, a relocation, sudden wealth, pregnancy, illness, new opportunities, group affiliations, addictions, aging, etc. will change the attitude and behaviors of a partner. Too often couples overlook change while hoping that they both treat one another the same and others. However, this doesn't occur as we mature and new responsibilities and other life challenges begin to grow on us.  The one who wishes/hopes/prays for some things to be unchanging is in for a rude awakening!  This is why some relationships that started off so sweet, nice, ad wonderful end up spiraling down fast. When one is relating to others he or she has to realize that people will change.  They won't always be respectful, kind, considerate and in love or like with the individual.  It hurts, but it is a harsh reality.  The sooner one wakes up to the fact that things are much different in the relationship since the early days the better.  We all have to...

Messages for the Soul  with Nicholl.  Podcasts at Your Listen http://www.yourlisten.com/nichollmcguire

Check out this new podcast by Nicholl McGuire, blogger of this site.  Thought-provoking commentary regarding relationship and dating topics that affect men and women. Why Men are Drawn to Weak Women

Do you talk about relationship and dating topics?  Would you like to be featured on this site too?  We share some of the best information around the web about dating and relationships.  This dating blog has been around for many years and has been a help to hundreds.  So if you have something inspiring, useful and really want to help our readers, then send your links, video, etc. for a future blog post to nichollmcguire@gmail.com and we will highlight your work here.  Looking forward to viewing your material!  

Tips Dating Older Men, Dating Younger Women: Over-sexed: Histrionic Personality Disorder and Na...

About nine years ago, I was curious as to why people go back to one another after a break up.  I had noticed this pattern after a few honeymoon periods between victims and their abusive partners (as well as myself--thank God I have been free for over 20 years now) and men who I dated who were still thinking about and sexing the so-called ex. The answer to that question provided results that were, too put it plainly, common sense, but didn't make the reasons right, good or altogether true.  The answers from real people with real life experience can be found in the discussion I started here: Why People Go Back to One Another "Why are they back together, why?"

You might be angry with yourself for all the times you believed that your companion was into you when the truth could be she pretended like she enjoyed everything you were into. You see this now, but you didn't back when you were having a good time with her. It doesn't help matters when we persuade people to go along with doing things that we know they just aren't into or we appease them just to make them smile while we hurt within. Yet, inside you are thinking, "I don't like any of this! The things we do for love!" Once again, you spoiled the woman or maybe she ruined you by doing everything you wanted. She went along with your selection of places to eat; exaggerated how good you were at doing something, your pick in a movie selection, or what you do for others. Too much of the actress can be unnerving, so you pull back and you want time alone or you want to go places without someone in the passenger seat. She probably gave you hell fo...

Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate: Things are Never the Same - First Insult, Slap, Ki... : You don't understand how did we go from talking about something so simple to blowing up.  Two people had personal qualms with the other...

If you aren't too careful, defending your dear mother, father and other relatives and friends when your partner brings up issues more than a few times just might cost you your relationship. Is it really worth it? Many people ended up in divorce court because selfish, manipulative and controlling relatives put just enough pressure on their relationships to send them there.

Where in the rulebook does it say you have to like your partner all the time?  Don't beat yourself up about your personal feelings or let others who may have observed your mood change to guilt you.  When a mate isn't giving you much reason to like or even love him or her lately it's okay.  Simply find ways to either rekindle positive emotions, communicate concerns, distance yourself for a time (absence makes the heart grow fonder), or use the quiet and space to grow from this difficult season and redirect your attention on the things that matter in your own life rather than pay so much attention on him or her.  Most mature couples reconcile gradually, but those that are seriously thinking about separating or divorcing, they usually never connect in the way they once did.  Sex is a mere bandaid for them, and doesn't satisfy emotionally.  Check yourself, think about what your partner may be going through, and say a prayer for you both. ...

by ebowdublin . From Visually .

Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate: Attentive, Common Interests, Loving, Sexual, Intox... : Watch for signs...the early days of meeting one's abuser. Narcissists, borderline personalities, anti-socials all exploit people! ...

With the rise of black men dating white women, just a friendly reminder, just because someone is white doesn't make them right and once you go black, you can always go back to what you know.  If you listen to how some black men down their mothers, exes, and more and white women talk about white men on places like YouTube, you can't help but think that hate is what they are advocating.  Some of the more popular channels are most likely paid or encouraged to continue to broadcast stupidity.  Interracial relationships are challenging enough, but when you are in a relationship with someone who promotes self-hatred, has low self-esteem, or has a misogynist mindset, whether he or she is indirect or direct with personal offenses, it is only a matter of time that the self-hating, smiling white woman or black man will turn on one another (and others) like snakes.  This is also true with other mixed couples like: Latino and Cau...

How to Keep the Spark Alive in Your Relationship

It's not what a lover does that makes him or her so special.  There are plenty of great actors out there.  Ask yourself, "What am I willing to put up with after the niceties begin to fade?" -- Nicholl McGuire http://laboringtoloveanabusivemate.blogspot.com

Relationships and Dating She's Crazy and So is Her Mother Too 2 of 2 - Video Dailymotion

You didn't think it would ever come to this, thoughts of breaking up, but considering recent events, you are about ready to call it quits.  Do you really want this?  See here:  Divorce

What to Expect When Dating a Jealous Woman