The Highs and Lows of Online Romances

The warm feeling that comes over you when you see that special someone online and offline.  He or she makes you feel alive!  You haven't felt this good in years!  You can't get enough of talking to that special friend and drooling over his or her photos.  You want the world to know just how you feel, but you can't say everything or do as much as you want due to concern that the individual might sooner or later let you down or worse not be the one!

It is understandable to feel this way.  You don't always know whether a person is sincere about you like you are about him or her.  It is always best to slow down a bit.  Spend time talking and watching the person's mannerisms.  Find out whether he or she is in fact right for you and not just right for the moment.

I personally witnessed a friend go from enormous highs in her infatuation of the people she met online to great lows within days of meeting her dates.  She would start off with starry-eyed conversations of these guys like how good they look, how well they treated her during a date, and how wealthy they were, only to later be very disappointed with them.  "He's conceited...he's cheap....all he wants is sex...I don't know what I was thinking...I need to stay offline for awhile."

The poor woman refused to spend more time getting to know those handsome hunks outside of bedroom romps.  She would become defensive when I said anything that would burst her bubble.  I tried to get her to think about the good, bad, and ugly about each of her dates so that she wouldn't be going into these romances wearing rose-colored glasses, but she didn't act on the wisdom she attained.  Then when she would learn that they just wasn't into her, she would look so sad and sometimes not say much if anything to me.

Be careful of those romantic highs!  The upswing of online dating are times when you feel like you are on top of the world and all seems to be so right with a date.  You are getting along with that special friend, going to fun places, enjoying your time with him or her and sharing your plans about the future.  But then the lows, those down moments, come along:  someone is working too much, has some annoying habits, controlling relatives, unattractive once the make up or dress clothes come off, and has his or her share of past baggage and issues that get in the way of good times with you.

Online dating is comprised of a lot of people being on their best behavior for a limited time before everything starts to unravel.  When the low moments show up, you have to ask yourself, "Is a date really worth it?"  Be real with yourself and that person you are dating, do you really want to work on a relationship with this person or just a body?

Nicholl McGuire
Blog Owner and Author of Too Much, Too Soon Internet Dating Blues


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