Give It Some Time - Online Dating and Watching for the Crazies and Manipulators
One of the biggest mistakes people make when dating on or offline is they simply don't be themselves. They go about the dating world pretending to be easy-going, fun, sweet, nice or whatever else they wish to be. Yet, as time goes on true colors are revealed and what was once so beautiful or handsome turns out to be a minion from hell!
Give yourself some time when online dating. Allow at least four seasons to go by before committing to an exclusive relationship. Also, don't assume that you know someone very well after a week of talking and a month of dating. People who are good at deceiving others can keep up a false persona for a long time before their act begins to unravel. Watch out for the following red alert signs when dating people who might potentially be a problem for you:
1. They often say things that are inaccurate, misunderstood or downright strange. You find yourself often puzzled, worried, or upset after talking to them.
2. They pretend to know things that they really don't. When asked specific questions, they contrive answers that are not comprehensible, deviate from the subject, or act as if you misunderstood them.
3. They are easily upset or confused when under pressure and curse much about the littlest of things.
4. They are often unhappy, miserable or ill.
5. They fake happiness, but upon closer inspection you quickly realize the individual is messed up.
6. They don't have any good relationships with others.
7. They mismanage many things including: finances, household, children, job duties, etc.
Online dating isn't easy no matter how workable and convenient the dating apps and websites. People are complex at times and don't always look or act in ways that we expect. Brace yourself for the future disappointments. As much as we want to believe that someone will always be one way or the other, we know that when life throws a curve ball, people do change.
Avoid assuming the worst about others, but don't be naïve and lose your common sense either--like shunning away those warning bells that tell you things like, "I don't trust this person...something is wrong...I suspect she is crazy...not my type."
Keep in mind manipulators hope that you fall in love fast. They hope you think the world of them so that they can start getting whatever they want from you sooner rather than later. They know that one day you will find them out.