He is Never There for Me When I Need Him Most

Have you ever felt like your husband or partner just doesn’t seem to understand what his role in your life is supposed to be? You have explained to him many times how you feel about him and how you want him to be pro-active in your life, but even with the long speeches, the cries, and the anger outbursts, he still proceeds in the relationship as if he doesn’t care about you or the things that matter to you most like your family and friends.

Every woman in this situation has a choice and the obvious one is you either put up with his nonchalant, insensitive attitude or you tell him goodbye. Why is it that some men behave in this way? The answer is quite simple they don’t understand women and aren’t interested in learning more about them either. A man who truly respects , admires, and most importantly loves his woman is going to do what it takes to make a relationship work. Sometimes he needs her to guide him to the self-improvement book, drive him to the relationship counselor, or walk him to the bedroom -- wherever the problem is in the relationship, it is up to her to give him the resources to help him along, but when you have done this repeatedly and he still doesn’t seem to want to make an effort to make things work, this is when you will have to do your part for your own sanity and redirect your focus from him to you. Whether it means start dating others, move out of the home you two share, find a hobby or interest, take a class, or spend more time with your family – whatever you choose to do he has to be shown that he is no longer the center of your world.

Sometimes women are caught in relationships hoping that if something really bad happens to them that somehow this man who never really acted like he cared, would suddenly care. That is the furthest thing from the truth. He may be attentive to you for a little while if he stands to lose or gain something, but sooner or later he will go back to his old ways again leaving you feeling alone.

I think of the time in my own life when I was in a financial bind and I think it was $20 I needed from my man to help me until payday. I had never asked him for anything during almost a year of dating; yet when he was in a bind that cost me over $800.00,I thought he wouldn’t hesitate to help me. Boy was I wrong! He had an instant attitude. Needless to say, I couldn’t help but think this man was not going to be beneficial to my life when I needed him the most, despite all of his claims that if I needed anything just ask.

I now look at every problem that comes up in a relationship as a test. It’s a great way to determine whether this person is a keeper. If he or she can be there for you when you are in a financial bind, diagnosed with an illness, your child is going through the motions or a relative passes away, then they are a keeper. I shouldn’t have to call a man all day or night, wait up for him, or talk myself into believing that he cares for me, he just forgot to call. Yet, there are those men that will demonstrate the upmost support until you are well and then they are expecting an immediate handout, they will bring up everything they did for you and expect you to do far more than they ever did. “Remember when I helped you,” he says. “Yes and I can’t help you right now but if you wait until…” you say. He doesn’t want to hear about waiting for you to do anything for him, like a pimp he wants his money, sex, or both now!

What good is a man if you can’t rely on him to help you when you need him the most? Why should you have to walk on egg shells hoping that he doesn’t ask you to pay him back with interest? I was told long ago that you never accept anything from a man unless you are willing to give something in return and usually what that something is falls somewhere between your stomach and your thighs!

There are women who are reading this thinking of the times when they thought the love of their lives would come through for them when they were in a bind, but failed them. Remember how your stomach dropped in shock, the ache settled in your chest, and you just cried! How could someone be so cold? You may have been like me at one time seated at work bent over with menstrual cramps hitting your stomach every few seconds and all you wanted was for him to come pick you up from work? You may have wished for him to be the one seated in the audience admiring you after one of your great performances. Wherever you were and whatever you had hoped from him, the bottom line he wasn’t there! He wasn’t there when your relative died, when money was short, when your child needed to be watched, when the rent was due, when you needed a car --- simply put he took more from you then you ever asked of him!

So how do you get a man to be there for you when you need him most? You start taking yourself seriously. You set boundaries. You allow him to wallow in his challenges without bailing him out. In time you turn your back on him and find someone who can demonstrate what it sincerely means to be your better half that is what you do!

By Nicholl McGuire

No comments:

She's Crazy by Nicholl McGuire

She's Crazy by Nicholl McGuire
Dating or married to an angry woman?
Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...

Relationship Topics of Interest

about this blog abuse abused men abusive marriage abusive mate abusive relationship abusive women accused of cheating age gap dating andropause anger arguing art therapy bad dates baiters being in love best way to kiss black white relationships blind date blog owner books about men by men borderline personality disorder boring boyfriends boyfriend break up break up tips break up withdrawal breaking up breaking up with man breaking up with woman breakup building a strong relationship celibacy cheating christian dating cohabitation communication compatibility complex post traumatic stress disorder conflict controlling parents controlling partners crazy relationship date rape dating dating a cheater dating a divorced man dating a Sugar Daddy dating a widow dating a womanizer dating adventurous people dating advice dating advice for men dating advice for single women dating advice for women dating and money dating and relationship resources dating app dating apps dating arts and crafts lovers dating attire dating attractive people dating black women dating book and game lovers dating burnout dating filipino women dating men dating mistakes dating mothers dating older men dating profiles dating silly people dating single mothers dating sites dating tips dating tips for men dating tips for women dating violence dating websites dating while broke dating women depression disagreements divorce domestic violence dumb daters emotional abuse emotional cheating emotional intimacy emotional withdrawal engagement ex boyfriends ex girlfriend expectant fathers exs faith based relationships fake people fallen out of love family fighting first date first date gift first date ideas first date tips flirting free dating website free interracial dating websites friends friendship get in the mood music God and relationship good men good relationship healthy relationship histrionic personality disorder holidays how to catch a cheating partner how to forgive cheater how to get a woman how to get free exposure on this site how to get over someone how to get your ex back how to know he's interested in you how to take it slow humor husband husbands boyfriends immature men inlaws Internet dating interracial dating interracial online dating services intimate partner violence irish dating isolation jealousy liars lies lonely long distance relationships losing your mind love love yourself mama's boys manipulative relationships marriage marriage resources married men married women men men cheating midlife men mood swings naive women narcissism need life coach negative people new relationship new years no contact obsession older men dating younger women older women dating younger men online dating free site online dating services online dating tips paranoid personality disorder passive aggressive personal time while dating physical cheating physical chemistry planning a family players pms poems prejaculation pretend believers promise rings psychopath reconciling couples regret rejection relationship relationship advice relationship advisor relationship books relationship commitment relationship concerns relationship counseling relationship experts relationship faithfulness relationship goals relationship help relationship issues relationship problems relationship tips relationships religious dating romantic couples romantic dinner tips roommates sex sex advice sex problems sexless marriage silent treatment single single christians single parents social networking sociopaths speed dating tips spirituality stale relationship stalkers stalking std stds stuttering suicide swearing teen dating the other woman tips meeting parents tips to get your ex back toxic people trust twitter unavailable men valentines day verbal abuse ways to get your ex back what women like about men widow women women cheating


This content is not yet available over encrypted connections.


This content is not yet available over encrypted connections.

Google Search

Love Dating Advice Blog Archive