Don't Let the Romantic Couple Fool You

I know it's hard right now for some couples in roller-coaster type relationships--up today and down tomorrow.  They are at their wits end with a partner who just isn't fulfilling a need, listening, showing affection, etc.  So your eyes start wandering, seeking couples out who appear to be in love.  You wish the nice-looking couple seated on the park bench, talking by the pool, or eating side-by-side at the restaurant were you and yours.  Well I got news for you...

Don't be jealous!  Don't want what they have!  I tell you it's short-lived and most always isn't what it appears to be behind closed doors no matter what they tell you!  Some people love to create false fronts, so that those around them will say, "What a great couple!  I wish that were me and..."  These romantic couples believe that if they can create an image of "happy" and "in love" that it will help their relationship and in some cases it might.  However, for some relationships, public displays of affection does nothing more than deceive those around them and puts yet another unnecessary burden on an already tensed relationship.  Sure, there are those couples who are honestly in lust and/or in love.  They will hug, kiss, cuddle, and more in public, but just like you experienced in years past, it isn't forever and always. 

Feelings begin to go downhill as people get more comfortable with one another and then they sharply decline after one, two, three or more arguments.  Now the once happy couple is looking around at other couples hoping that they could get back whatever they once had.

I think as a society, we have watched far too much romantic movies on TV and on the Internet.  There are no happy ever afters!  There are only happy sometimes afters (if that makes any sense.)  I have personally witnessed couples who have been together for years argue, cuss, fuss, and fight over the littlest of things then turn around within minutes, hours or days and act as if nothing ever happened.  I find that the couples who have been together for 20 plus years have just learned to let a lot go, it doesn't make them any better or special, they just go through the motions and then let go.  These couples HAVE LEARNED to give one another a pass on many things and don't hold one another to any particular standards that include, "You will...You better or else..."

So as much as we like to mimic a favorite romantic movie scene, we must realize that there is fantasy and then there is reality.  Take a moment to question what exactly you want from the relationship and then communicate it to your partner.  When the mood comes upon you to be romantic then do it, don't contemplate it!  Hold her hand, kiss his lips, or send your partner a nice card and/or gift.

Nicholl McGuire 


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