Arguing - Nothing You Can Do About It

As long as two people live together with strong views about any and everything, there is nothing neither can do about arguing except try to listen and do what the other wants.

Tempers will flare in any relationship and that is normal.  People will grow cold toward one another.  Some will act violently, while others will take a long walk.  Some people choose the silent treatment.  Although a dispute may start out okay doesn't necessarily mean it will end okay, so a person in a relationship must use wise judgment when defending his or her point of view.

If you think you can be in a relationship with a strong-minded individual and not argue, forget it!  There are those who are strong minds that can be quiet and tune people out, but how long do you think they can get away with that?  Someone somewhere is catching hell because someone in a controlling relationship simply doesn't know how to vent in a healthy way that gets his or her partner to listen.  Meanwhile, the partner is a hot-head ready to blow up about the slightest thing, because his or her partner chooses not to communicate with him or her.

If you think you can manage, control or regulate someone to get you to behave in the way you want, you have your work cut out for you!  For the naive, ignorant and previously abused, a controlling partner might have some success with getting his partner to behave.  However, a person who is far removed from his or her youthful foolishness and doesn't have the patience or strength to deal with someone trying to manage them, will not sit quietly and let you talk (at least not for long) especially if what you are saying doesn't have anything to do with the topic at hand, appears that you are lying or side-stepping on the issues, or acting strangely.

There comes a point when you will either have to make yourself learn how to present issues in the relationship in a positive manner complete with a nice dining experience or just watch the movie and stay out of the turbulent scenes.  It won't be easy, because most likely your leading lady or man will want to bring you into the drama.

Couples who started early on in the relationship disputing most likely will continue, but not as often (keeping in mind there isn't nothing seriously affecting their relationship) this usually happens due to age, personal improvements, workplace changes, etc.  However, you never know what might keep a couple arguing for years.  Hormonal issues, past problems, cheating, relatives, a newborn, teenagers, physical and emotional problems, alcohol or drug abuse, any issue like these can keep two people at each other's throats.  Nothing can be done about the arguing until someone makes up in his or her mind to get the help he or she needs.

So when you argue a point, try to do it fairly, wisely and most of all limit the time you are doing it.  Hopefully, there will be peace in your home after the storm.

Nicholl McGuire

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