Is It a Relationship or Not? When You Want Something More

For some men and women who like one another a lot, they really don't know what to call their partnerships, relationships or friendships.  They date, attend events together periodically, and may even date other people, but emotions between the two are signaling something that says, "He might be the one...I want something serious...I don't want to let her go.  I can't stand when he goes out with other women."

Jealous emotions tend to rise within you when you desire something more from someone that you just aren't getting.  That special someone seems to be having a good time a part from you, appearing to like another more than you, and may have some great things happening to him or her.  You want to be a part of your friend's world, but your position has yet to be defined. 

If you are in that space of not knowing who or what you are to this person, then you will want to have a serious conversation that will make your date begin to think about you from a different perspective.  Chances are he or she doesn't see you as nothing more than a friend one day and a lover the next.  You might not be carrying yourself in a way that says, "I am serious about you."  You may not be ready to be in a committed relationship if you are still carrying around the baggage from the past, talking on the phone to other singles, having sex with others, and more.

Know what you want and what it takes to get your needs met.  Do you seriously want this person in your life for always or was your last encounter just a nice date or great sex? 

From talking to spending more time together, state how this person makes you feel then give this person the space he or she needs to take in everything you have said.  When your friend seems to be drawing near to you and sharing what kind of relationship he or she wants, talk about the future, but don't say too much like "I want you to be my wife/husband..." or else you might scare this person away. 

Now if he or she doesn't seem interested in a committed relationship and is actually drawing away from you, then you should know where you stand in this person's life.  Therefore, create a safe distance emotionally from him or her so that your feelings don't get in the way of logic.

Nicholl McGuire maintains this blog and others including: Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate and Work Place Problems


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