Challenge and Controversy: Have You Experienced this Yet with a Date?

What's the rush to hop in a bed with a new friend or a lover?  You just might regret your decision soon after.  Dates can become increasingly controlling once they have had a taste of a good bedroom experience.  They can also be demanding too!  "So I was thinking about marriage...I was wondering about us living together...What do you think about quitting your job and relocating to...?"  What!?  You might be thinking, but when couples move fast, it won't be long before talk of marriage and a baby in a carriage is soon to follow.  So when is the best time to take a relationship beyond the dating experience?  When you have been through a series of challenging and controversial situations with your date.

If you have yet to observe your date under pressure and haven't had a serious enough argument where your palms are sweaty and your voice is loud, then why bother promising anything?  From a gift to sex, hold off on all those things that say, "We are a couple," until you have felt other emotions with this person besides warm and fuzzy ones.

Too often people discover once money is spent, contracts are signed, a belly is sticking out, and family is met that they simply don't like the person they are with as much as they once did.  They realize the beautiful or handsome guy has a lot that comes with him or her (seen and unseen) that they simply can't tolerate.  But these disgruntled folks with their selections, learned the hard way!  They ignored all sound advice that warned, "Take it slow...get to know her...don't rush...wait to see if it is love that you are really feeling."

True love isn't ready to throw the towel in every time one is offended, angered over a mistake, or doesn't understand what is being said during a heated discussion, but lust is.  Lust takes off, cools down, but is never quite the same.  Relationships rooted in lust have couples in them who are on shaky ground and are doubtful about the future.

Sometimes love is overlooked early on in the relationship because daters are too busy comparing their lives with others or wanting what their relatives and friends have.  If the best friend appears to be in love with his or her mate that is because they went through much to get to that point.  They permitted themselves to fall in love over and over again in good times and in bad.  Yet, people who enter into relationships with a fantasy in their minds of what they anticipate love to be are often disappointed when potential mates don't look or act in ways they had in mind.  Rather than cut their losses early, they stick around hoping to change others.  Unfortunately, the controlling and manipulation tactics used early on to keep a date interested blow up sooner or later.

Allow challenge and controversy to arise in a new relationship and watch how your date reacts.  You will be so glad you did.  This way you can make a fair observation on whether your date is really worth giving your money, body and time to him or her in good times and in bad.

Think about it.

Nicholl McGuire maintains this blog and others.  One is entitled, Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate and check out her latest audio/videos on YouTube.


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