Dating Advice, Relationship Problems

Some young women make their lives complicated by dating men that they are clearly not compatible with, but due to money, fame, power, daddy issues, or something else they will remain in unhealthy unions.  Make this new year a start in the right direction, choose your dates wisely! When one feels like she is just not connecting with an older date, she will want to consider that the age gap relationship just might not be something she is still interested in continuing.  People don't get any younger and unfortunately the older we get, the more issues we have.  If you are a young woman who wants more out of life, you might want to reconsider dating a mature man with issues such as, being tired and lazy often.  Many older men have low-T or testosterone challenges.  However, lucky for some of you readers, you may not be in too deep with your mature partner; therefore take notice of signs early on that a tired, lazy older man just might be pretending to be something that he is really n

A relationship that has some light at the end of the tunnel just might survive.  But how do you know if there is any light/hope/better days?  1.  You and your partner will finally make up in your minds to stop the foolishness.  Anything or anyone who keeps bringing trouble to your relationship will be cut off, cut out, or cut back. 2.  When you look in the mirror and recognize the error of your ways, you come to the understanding that you must do something.  The self-reflection haunts you like a bad memory and you can't seem to shake it until you start doing something. 3.  You or your partner will start seeking out counsel in media and elsewhere for whatever is upsetting the relationship.  You will actually start implementing the advice given to you. 4.  When you make necessary adjustments that have been hindering progress based on what your partner has told you about yourself, you are well on your way to a better relationship. 5.  When your partner comes to the realizat

Some women don't want to hear the truth.  They rather falsely believe they are "good" women and the men who walked out on them, divorced, found someone else, or did other things were all bad.  They take no responsibility for driving men away, to the bottle, to the dating website, and elsewhere.  They refuse to correct destructive attitudes, bad habits, and more.  When you think of some of the most educated, prideful, articulate speaking, and argumentative women in your family, what do you see? In the past, I saw my share of hen-pecked men, those who weren't as educated as their partners and didn't make nearly as much as them, sit quietly in the foreground and do as they were told when called upon.  The women berated, threatened, and even hit them behind closed doors.  These were men who cheated on these women in the past, got laid off temporarily, lost jobs, had part-time hustles, or simply made less money then their women. On the other hand, there were those m

As much as many of us in current relationships would not want to admit how the past has affected our present and possibly our future, it did.  Whether the past was a bad break up, financial loss, death, or something else, upon careful reflection, we learned that much of our issues to date in a relationship have to do with past decision-making. You might have made a choice that is now costing you much year after year.  You may have assumed that a current partner would be all-too-understanding about an ex-partner and your children, but really isn't, or was okay about how many hours you work daily, but now shows signs he or she is a hindrance to progress.  Whatever the issue, it is a disappointment once you discover that if you don't change certain habits, make necessary adjustments, or do whatever it takes to maintain peace in a relationship that it most likely will come to an end. Sometimes a selection in a mate is detrimental to one's future, because we saw something i

So a lover brought a smile on your face when he or she bought a nice gift and planned a romantic evening.  Flattery makes one feel good and so does a warm meal, but it doesn't mean that a problematic partner is worth staying with just because he or she does a few thoughtful things. Tired of yelling, fighting, and ignoring a mate, a person might choose to take a temporary break from all the madness.  However, this doesn't mean that a dead-end relationship is suddenly headed somewhere.  Some couples deceive themselves into staying long past the expiration date just because they had a short-term honeymoon period. If he was ugly a month ago, chances are he is still that ugly guy just taking a break from acting ugly.  If she had been treating her guy wrongly for a long time, a couple of weeks of being nice to him doesn't mean that things are getting better, especially when she is still talking badly about the guy behind his back.  Temporal happiness is deceitful.  It make

Some husbands are just not very good guys although they work real hard at deceiving family and friends.  They trick some into thinking that they love, care and respect their wives, but from the disappointment displayed in their partners' eyes, relatives know different.  The observant see through the smoke and mirrors.  No eye contact, not the slightest touch (or way too much touch), distance between the couple, and the disrespect displayed when a husband is talking to a woman that is not his wife, are obvious signs, the man would have been better off staying at home.  So what might those irritating things he does that make his ride home with his wife a quiet one? 1.  He smiles and talks too much to the attractive women at the family event.  He manages to find some subject to talk about with them, but at home, he doesn't say much to his wife. 2.  He will pretend as if he is madly in love with his wife when he sees her talking with a handsome man who is not a family member

Days of not having a good night sleep, moments where something didn't smell right under covers, and daily late night Internet surfing and TV watching can not only affect sex, but set a relationship back!  1.  Snoring Loud noises throughout the day, chatty co-workers, nerve-racking toys, and other irritating things can overwhelm anyone.  The only peace one might have is when he or she lies on a nice, comfy bed and closes eyes at night.  However, if one is sleeping with a partner who snores loudly, how much rest are you really getting?  Think of the mood swings, the tiredness during the day, and overall how you feel, most likely you are not getting a quality night sleep due to snoring.  Those who have struggled with snoring for years need medical help, over-counter medicines simply don't work for some.  If a partner often complains about snoring and not being able to rest, don't wonder why he or she is more interested in sleeping and less interested in having sex.  If yo

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Anyone who has ever loved or been loved, may have wished to do some things differently in their lives when it comes to dating.  One day I thought of some things I had wished I knew about dating before I started meeting people. 1.  Some memories never go away. It would have been wiser to think longer about things before I did them.  Now when certain things are said or done, my mind goes back to memories that should have never been created in the first place. 2.  Being selective about who you date really does make a difference in how you view relationships in the future. Going out with just anyone doesn't help with building a healthy view on how to create a quality relationship.  Taking the time to think about why you like or settle with certain individuals will help you discover more about what you do and don't like about yourself and others.  The more troubled people you date, the more you start thinking negatively about relationships in general. 3.  Appreciate lonel

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Most people who could get out of spending the holidays with boring, troublesome, or downright crazy in-laws would.  As much as one loves his or her mate, the idea of sitting with people who are not necessarily a likeable bunch can be nerve-racking.  If one's partner really loves you, he or she would be understanding. Over the years, I have sat out from spending time with boyfriends', lovers' and partner's families simply by stating, "I won't be attending this year.  I prefer some quiet time at home."  Sure, a partner was disappointed at times, but when the time came to visit my relatives, did I even bother to ask?  Nope.  I know what it feels like to be pressured into going somewhere with a mate or a friend to see their people, their events, their whatever they are doing and you really have no interest.  How long will one keep up the act?  So I don't bother to pressure or place a guilt trip on any loved one or friend to be anywhere I will be.  Besid

A woman leaves her man then returns to him in the hopes that things will get better, but they don't.  A man breaks up with his girlfriend only to wish to be with her again, so he goes back to her and hates it.  In both situations, they broke up times before, but this time something tells them, "This is it." When you have reached that point in your own relationship, when there is no turning back and it is all forward from here, you are giving up your last bit of energy to make it work.  You know deep within that if it goes bad this go around, there is no getting back together.  You may have felt this way times before, but there is just something different that happens inside when you know a relationship is coming to an end for good.  Exs who have been through something like this have talked about the last break up being worse than others before.  Its as if you are grieving the death of the relationship long before it actually happens.  Remember when a loved one was

If you were in a physical fight with someone, would you attempt to walk away from the match while fighting with your back turned?  Of course not.  You don't know what that person might pick up and use against you.  You wouldn't want to be blind-sided; therefore you would keep your eyes on your opponent.  Well, when it comes to heated relationship disagreements which might include threats, pushing, punching or throwing things, some couples won't always fight fair.  A jealous, hot-tempered, and often irritated partner just might be after blood if you aren't too careful.  As much as many couples would like to think they could just say whatever is on their minds, then go to bed at night, think again! A hormonal woman, a man having a mid-life crisis, or two people with personality disorders, substance abuse issues or health problems in a relationship is nothing to sleep on!  Trouble is always right around the corner.  There are many stories both on and off the internet wh

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I am taking this time just to thank those of you who faithfully come to this site seeking a bit of advice to use or pass on to family and friends.  I have been contributing to this blog for years and have spent many hours selecting relevant material for an eclectic mix of people in a variety of relationships who visit this blog. I find that the more we date or remain in serious relationships, the more we learn about ourselves.  We find that we won't tolerate certain people, places and things and we also communicate better with partners about our wants and needs.  Although we all fail sometimes, we still get right back up and try anyway while hoping that our partners will be receptive. I sincerely wish nothing but the best for all of you who are seeking partners and are in relationships.  Please do keep reading and don't hesitate to comment. Nicholl

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