Possessed Before Obsessed

You have witnessed the interviews of lovers who were caught in murder triangles, stalkers, and jealous spouses in media.  There is a lot said when you look at their troubled eyes.  Some cold, as if staring right through the interviewer.  Others appear to be lost in a world of confusion and rage.  The mind may have come back temporarily, enough to tell one's story, but when triggered it all comes back again through the eyes!  The killer blames the victim or pretends to be remorseful, those left behind take no responsibility for actions or in-actions to protect one's relative/friend, and the victim is left six feet deep without a story to tell.

When one is involved in an intense relationship, deep with passion and mystery or wild and volatile, a possession of sorts takes place.  One is overcome with emotion, so much in fact, that irregardless of the couple being a mismatch or burdened with past baggage, he or she feels the need to do whatever whenever to keep a relationship alive that simply wasn't meant to be.  Obsessed with not failing, a need to win at something, the lover is hooked to his or her partner like a drug addict to his or her stash.  "I need my next fix..."

Before obsession ever took root in the relationship, there was a possession of one's mind, body and spirit by his or her lover.  Some just have that X Factor.  They know how to charm, seduce, and catch you when you are weak.  It starts with being attentive, a warm smile, an appreciation for your beauty/talent/skills, and then those eyes, they stare as if hypnotised by you.  They draw you in, you think, "No one has ever treated me this way...I have never felt like this before, what is it about him/her?"  Meanwhile, you later learn he or she is nothing more than trouble--a good actor or actress that knows how to lure his or her victims into arms, bed, while draining one's spirit and possibly bank account.  Call her a black widow and him a snake! 

Spirits are real!  Many of them take over and before long, you are losing all control, doing things you thought you would never do for good and for evil just to stay in the miserable relationship that keeps you lying, guessing, obsessing, and dancing to the beat of your lover's drum.  You have permitted one to permeate your body in more ways than one; therefore allowing the spirits to enter and take over.  It's as if the manipulative mate has casted a spell over you.  Filled with much evil, he or she looks to dispense some of that pent up frustration, anger, bitterness, jealousy--typically experienced with someone else--on you in a way that looks and feels right until it all becomes exposed like a person wearing a mask on Halloween.  "Surprise!  I am not what you thought..." says the beauty queen or the handsome man of her dreams. 

Think about the people that pass you by everyday for a moment, many are possessed by someone or something and many more are obsessed with the one that claims to love them the most.  If these individuals aren't too careful, their worlds will come crashing down, because humans are flawed--their selfish, envious, unreliable, and deceptive when they aren't walking uprightly--they will stop at nothing to get their way when in love or in lust.

Love will not kill, steal or destroy your mind, body and spirit.  But lust will!  It will possess, then move you to obsess and later put you on a path to self-destruct.

Nicholl McGuire is the author of Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate.  See blog here.