Dating Tips and Break Up Advice for Those Dating Emotionally Abusive People
Early Signs Your Date is Emotionally Abusive by Nicholl McGuire
When first dating, pay attention to the way your date looks when you speak positively to the opposite sex. Does he or she eye roll, deep sigh, look angry, or make you feel uncomfortable for speaking to that person?
Pay attention when your date makes subtle or harsh comments about your personal beliefs, the people around you, or stories you tell. Does he or she act judgmental? Does this person make negative comments about your lifestyle, faith, or those you know despite not knowing all the details?
If you find yourself being critical about you, moreso than you have ever done before, when in this person's presence, that is a clear indication that your date's jokes/comments/criticisms are starting to influence you, not for the better but for the worse! (Save yourself some future grief, get out while you can!)
What you might think is simply a debate about political, social, religious, or family issues with an emotionally abusive person are really red alert signs that this person enjoys playing mind games. He or she might insult you by saying things about your mind, body or spirit to the point that it sends you in the next room crying or ready to punch a wall.
Fear will drive you to stay with a person for days, weeks, even years! Fear of the ramifications of rejecting this person, fear of having to take on financial obligations by yourself, fear of becoming pregnant or getting one pregnant, disease, etc. All of these fears will put you on a path with someone who has been emotionally abused and will abuse others. It doesn't matter skin tone, social class, or intellect, anyone can be susceptible to an emotional abuser.
Don't dismiss your doubts, questions, or feelings about your date. Don't talk yourself into continuing to date someone like this. List the pros and the cons of being with this person. Even if the pros outweigh the cons, still take heed to your innermost feelings. Avoid believing in your date's sales pitch in an effort to keep you coming back to him or her. Distract yourself with other people, places and things so as not to be involved with an emotional abuser. Many abusive people are nice-looking, but their hearts are poisonous. Withdraw from the emotionally abusive individual by staying busy--don't allow idle time to send you back into his or her arms!