How to Breakup With Your Boyfriend

If you are sure you want to breakup with your boyfriend then there are a few things that you need to do in order to make it easier on you and less painful on him.

Many guys will think they need to keep trying to win you back after you have broken up with them and they don't fully understand the reason that you broke up with them in the first place, but you do, and you have to remember those reasons no matter what they say or do, unless of course they can rectify them.

So with that in mind you will also know that giving them any sense of false hope is not only teasing them it is making them try harder to win you back which you ultimately don't want.

First when you breakup with them give them clear reasons why you are doing so. Tell them the truth. Whether it's that they don't understand you or you feel they don't treat you right, tell them. They may not get it, otherwise they would have been treating you good all along, but at least you've said it as clearly as you can possibly say it. You've done your part.

Secondly, act firmly on your decision. Do not wavier in your decision when they say "I can change!" Just stay true to your feelings that brought you here in the first place. If you show any sign of weighing your options your guy will quickly follow up with another automatic sentence to try to make you change your mind.

Lastly, after the breakup, avoid him for a while. If you have too much contact after the breakup he will not be able to fully deal with and get over his feelings for you because he will see you and the fact that you are moving on and he will instinctively want to do what he can to make that not happen.

The other reason that you need space after a breakup is because if he does pull out every trick up his sleeve you may eventually fall for one of them and end up back in a relationship with him.

Chances are that once you get back together you will have a few good weeks that make you think you made the right decision and then you will fall into the same old relationship you had before.

This is because he will be on his best behaviour during those few weeks doing everything he thinks will please you so that you will be caught in his trap again. Then once he realizes that your relationship is solid again he will fall back into old ways unless he has actively gone out and put effort into changing.

When breaking up with your boyfriend remember to be honest, straightforward, and committed to the breakup.

Bellaisa is an advocate for happy and stable relationships with yourself and with others and she has put together a site that has tips, articles, and resources for every stage of relationships called The Relationship Circle.

You can check it out at http://relationship-circle.com and be sure to join the newsletter for free e-books and information.

How to Break Up With a Woman You Are Dating

Over the past few months, I've endured the hardship of breaking up with various partners, inspiring me to write this newsletter. The break up was the part of the whole sharking process that I really hated; sometimes even scaring me away from entering into relationships in the first place. It was always extremely uncomfortable as I was sensitive to the woman's reaction. However, if there wasn't any real, lasting connection or love, then I had to break up so as to not waste the time of the respective girl. It was definitely easier for me and the girl to end things earlier rather than later.

Many recommend giving the woman respect, thereby meeting her and breaking up with her face-to-face.... I disagree! I think it's much harder for them, if you tell them face-to-face and extremely awkward and uncomfortable for both parties. At the most, I would meet after there had been a short period of respite, waiting for the initial emotional hit to settle, subsequent to my sending of a message first either via text or e-mail.

My main strategies for breaking up with a woman include the following:

Tip 1: To break up with your partner, maybe meet her with less and less frequency, seeming to be increasingly busier, and employing increasing periods of silence.

Fading out the relationship is relatively non-confrontational, and if there is any attack, it will come from her side, thereby giving you an even better excuse to break up. This happened with a girl of mine earlier in the year, whereby I gave excuses of being sick, traveling abroad, working, meeting friends who were visiting from overseas.... In the end, she sent me a raging text message, also saying (of herself), 'I'm not stupid!' She then disappeared, deleting me as a Facebook friend as well.

Tip 2: To break up with your mate, maybe wait for a moment when she blows up at you for something (no matter how small), maybe even facilitating this, and then use this as your cue to storm out, blowing things out of proportion, blaming her for attacking you.

Tip 3: Gather enough arguments for yourself in order to give a valid reason to break up, and maybe make these reasons clear to your partner.

A recent girlfriend of mine was super-negative and criticizing me for a lot of things. In the end, I sent a text message, saying, 'It's very hard for me to deal with your negative comments. It seems to me that we're not well suited for each other.' She responded totally shocked, apologizing and stating that she would still be happy to talk if we ever met by chance when out partying.

Tip 4: In breaking up, you could be totally honest about your feelings.

A while ago, I began ignoring a girl that I was seeing. After some time, I finally picked up the phone when she called and said, 'Sorry, I just don't feel that I love you.' She completely understood, and respected my answer, acting very civil about the whole affair.

Tip 5: To a more bothersome, casual lay, you can state that you now have a girlfriend if you want to get rid of her.

Tip 6: If you're an expat, maybe say that you'll be leaving the country soon, and thus there's no point continuing with each other (thereby wasting each other's time).

I used this excuse on a girl once, who I incidentally met some time afterwards. She asked, 'You're still here?' to which I answered, 'I came back.'

Tip 7: If she still doesn't get the hint about breaking up, then you probably have to be more direct.

Just this week, I had to take more drastic means with a girl I been trying to get rid of nicely and subtly. I sent her the following text message, 'Sorry, I just can't be serious about a relationship. It's not the right time for me now. I hope you understand.' Her response was, 'Yes, of course. I feel. No problem:) I also don't want to continue.'

Tip 8: Maybe disappear for a while, saying, 'I need to be alone for a while,' and hopefully the relationship will run out of steam.

At the time modern day pickup theory was still in its infancy, an alternative philosophy was being independently developed by an elite team of womanizers in Eastern Europe. This fresh concept of seduction, was termed Zero-In.

John Stevens, one of the 3 founding members of Zero-In, decided to detail his account as a womanizer (over a one year period) in a novel.

He also decided to summarise the main teachings of the group in a more structured way via an audio presentation series.

http://www.zero-in.eu

What to Do When You Catch Him Cheating

The phone call that Justine just received feels like the equivalent of a tornado. The words that a woman from her book club just said to her have shaken her-- both inside and out.

The woman said, "I saw your husband with another woman. He is having an affair."

Justine can't believe that her husband-- who appears so trustworthy and loyal-- has been caught cheating.

There are a multitude of ways that you might catch your man cheating, if that's what's going on.

You might overhear him talking to someone on the phone. You may read an e-mail exchange. You could put together many of his out-of-character behaviors.

And you might walk into your home, his workplace or somewhere else and literally catch him cheating.

Assess the reliable facts.
With a few stark exceptions, what you might be hearing or seeing could mean something completely different than what you assume it to mean. This can go either way.

It's vital that you learn how to assess the RELIABLE facts that are available to you.

For instance, while the woman who told Justine that her husband is having an affair is in her book club, this woman is new to the group. Justine doesn't really know much about her.

This doesn't necessarily mean that Justine should discount the woman's words. It does mean that Justine probably wants to gather more information to make sure.

Make a choice you can live with 5 (or more) years from now.
Remember that you have choice. Once you know for sure that your man is, indeed, cheating (or not), you need to make a decision about what's next for you.

While it is understandable that you might be compelled to yell and scream at your husband or to confront the other woman, give yourself some time to calm down and get clear.

Will your lashing out point you toward the future that you want for yourself? Of course, it's healthy to express your feelings; but don't do so in a way that you'll later regret.

You may not know exactly where you'll be (and with whom) in 5 years. But make sure that the choices you make after finding out about the affair are ones that you can live with.

If your man is (or may be) cheating and lying and you need help deciding your next step, check out this free report.

Relationship coaches and authors Susie and Otto Collins, have written many books and programs including: Should You Stay or Should You Go? and No More Jealousy.
If you suspect that your partner is lying and cheating and are looking for help determining the truth, check out Susie and Otto's newest program Where There's Smoke There's Fire, How To Tell If Your Man's A Cheating Liar

Having Trouble With Your Marriage?

You may have read an article online, a blog post elsewhere and even subscribed to someone's Twitter account for advice on your marriage. You may still be coping with feelings of frustration, bitterness and even anger as it relates to the marital advice you have received from others. Some people just don't know how to provide some practical advice that you can put into practice today! If you are looking for a book that provides detailed insight as to what you need to do to save your marriage, Click Here!

What Does it Take to Make a Man Fall in Love with a Woman?

Are you tired of listening to women tell you how to keep a man? Well consider reading and studying this:

"How to Captivate a Man, Make Him Fall in Love with You -- and Give You the World!"
The secret to understanding men -- and using it to your advantage
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If you would like to take advantage of his comprehensive book today, Click Here!

He Hates Me I Know It - The strange things we think about as women

You have a great relationship with your man normally, but sometimes he doesn't call you or come around during the day. Meanwhile, you are busily going about your day until someone says or does something to trigger a negative thought in you about your man, you think, "I wonder if he hates me...what if he still has feelings for his ex...he only bought me that gift the other day because he has something to hide." Now where did those thoughts come from? Remember you have a great relationship with your guy? Can we say paranoia, insecurity, or maybe even a mild case of schizophrenia has begun to set in all because you are listening to others or making a mountain out of a mole hill because he doesn't always call or come around you? Why do we do this? Take something so nice and mess it up with ridiculous, negative thoughts?

Most men just don't think like we do, and if they do, well you can put two and two together and he probably was around a lot more women than men and if so, he maybe just as crazy as you (LOL.) So he didn't call or come around, does he do it often? If you suspect something is going on with him, you need more than sporadic moments of him not calling or coming around you. Some women play head games with themselves and their men hoping they can find a logical explanation or an answer they can live with in the midst of game-playing. Adults don't play games, children do. The simplest piece of advice for any woman who is going through the "wonder what he meant by..." or "why is he acting this way" is to talk to him. Find a good time, when his favorite sports team isn't playing on television, and just talk to him.

We think we know so much as women, but the truth is we only know what someone or something tells us. If his signals say, "I hate you." Then most likely your gut feeling is correct if you have some proof to back it up. However, if a man has given you no indication that he hates you (maybe tired of you, but not hate you) why worry? A lot of our worry, as women, comes from things we have gone through in the past. There is a little woman inside of us who is still hurt. She won't allow any man to get away with what the last one put her through. So she is always talking, asking questions. "What did he mean by that? You know your ex told you the same thing." We start comparing what our new guy did with what the last guy did and so on. Now we have worked ourselves up and we are ready to give him a peace of our mind all because he said or did something that was out of the norm. Before long, your feeling of "he hates me I know it" does come to pass. As women, we can make things come to pass just by setting up the scenario we fear just by what we say and do. Telling the man what we really think of him when it would be better to take control of our emotions and be silent is one way. Meanwhile we could be waiting to see if our man will do or say anything that will make us feel better especially if he says he loves us.

When you feel out of control and those voices in your mind are talking a mile a minute, try telling yourself, "I will not put myself through this today. If there is anything I need to know I will simply ask."

Nicholl McGuire, creator of this blog. Feel free to follow @datingdramas on Twitter.

Funny How Time Flies: A Tale of A Sour Relationship

Crinkle in the middle of your forehead like an accordion.
Dragging your feet, a sound like someone sweeping the floor.
As you carry your half-broken heart from yesteryear's loves.
Head turned to the left as you pass me by
Careful not to look my way.
Hoping I can't see what you are thinking.

You don't like me.
But if you closely look into my glaring eyes,
you would see I don't like you.
I am settling, standing on your empty promises.

When I speak, you are annoyed as you take your seat.
It's only a commercial.
"What?" You say.
"Nothing." I retort.

I really don't like you!
That's why I hold my nose as you sigh.
Hoping I don't smell your breath.
It's stale, old just like this relationship.
Please don't exhale, keep that to yourself!
It's not like anything will change!
You will just stink up the atmosphere like you always do
then find a way to blame me.

What happened to the young guy I once knew anyway?
He was full of life.
Freshened up a room with an inviting odor like fresh flowers of bright reds and yellows,
you use to brighten my day.
Then again I misunderstood those happy feelings I once had for you.
I gave you credit you didn't deserve --
that was God, his mercy, his joy, my bad.

But nowadays?
I guess too much sex over the years wilted you.
Didn't have enough manhood to sustain your inner being, huh?
Fall apart at every moan, every rejection, and every lie.

That's right you lie, always hiding your "real" emotions.
Replacing them with incomplete thoughts decorated with past memories.
Oh how I sicken of hearing what we did in the past!

You move like a grandfather, you will be dying soon -- I know it.
There is nothing more you can give to anyone unless you are strangled, and beaten emotionally. Your ex taught you well.
Its too much to give to another without he or she having to ask, you always want to know, "What's in it for me?"

Who are you anyway?
Sometimes I think, "a minion of the devil."
Trying to claim a mystery that you really don't possess.
The only secret you have -- boredom.
You bore easily, because you are boring.
There is nothing more to you.

What great wonder are you?
You abandoned the one who created you - He made you the once interesting, entertaining happy-go-lucky being that people use to talk about.
Without him, you are fruitless, meaningless -- always looking to blame others for your short-comings.

We already seen your movie.
I held my applause.
I'm not offering you a tissue.
Too busy wiping my own nose.
Don't want to see the replay all over again.

Let's break up, okay?
No making up this time.
Won't stay connected to your draining spirit through sex.
That liberating action is now a holy inaction reserved for the one who I couldn't wait for -- that's why I got you.

But I can wait...now! Oh Lord I can wait!!!
Looking at your mean face everyday,
taught me to wait for the one my heart so desires!!!

The wait won't be long. I can feel it!

My bus is coming and this time I won't be answering your call.
My boxes are already packed.

The best feeling of never being in your sorrowful presence again!


Nicholl McGuire is the creator of http://lovepoetrybynicholl.blogspot.com

No Time for Dating When in Love

We have all been guilty of it -- allowing so much time to pass staying indoors lovemaking that we forget how to date outside of the covers. In time, we grow bored with one another and wish that we would have taken it slow. Well if you feel like your relationship is headed in that direction, then do something, anything to keep it fresh especially if you aren't a mother or father yet! Once you both realized your pregnant, things change and don't let anyone tell you any different! Your time is not your own when the newborn shows up!

All the sweet talking about how great a family would be is nice when there is no family to worry over. All the wonderful visions of a daughter with eyes like yours and a son with a grin like his are beautiful, but put that off for as long as you can! Spend a lot of time appreciating, learning, and spending time with one another. If more couples would have taken this kind of advice seriously, they wouldn't be openly or secretly resenting their husband, wife, and/or children. They wouldn't be on the phone gossiping about how he or she "can't stand...hate...dislike...or wish things would have been different..."

If you happened to stumble on this site and you are presently in a new relationship, please heed this advice it will save you both money (buying diapers, formula, health care bills for a baby and more when you are not ready) and feelings of resentment in the long term! When we get involve in relationships that knock us off our feet we fail to plan for the long term and before long short term plans of "we could do this" and "we could do that" go out the window. Don't let it happen to you! If you haven't been to a ski resort in awhile, click on the link below. Do take the time to enjoy one another outside of the sheets!

Nicholl McGuire is the author of When Mothers Cry and she tweets @nichollmcguire about a variety of things including relationships.