10 Questions To Ask Your OB-Gyn When You Are Trying To Conceive

When you and your partner make the decision that you are ready to start your family it can be a very exciting time in your life. First of all, you get to use baby-making as an excuse to rekindle some romance that may have slipped away with the daily routines of your lives. Second, the anticipation of a little one running around, while a bit scary, is invigorating. Finally, you're ready to join the mommy club.
You and your partner try month after month with no success. You're not worried yet because it has only been a few months. More than six months pass and you still are not pregnant. You start to become a little flustered. What do you do now? If you are under the age of 35, most doctors will tell you to try another six months before you consider alternative methods. Instead of just "trying" for twelve months, which can seem like forever when you want to conceive, I recommend talking with your doctor about some inexpensive initial fertility testing to rule out common problems, such as ovulation irregularities. However, if you are over age 35, then my advice is to talk with your doctor about fertility treatment options and the possibility of a referral to a Reproductive Endocrinologist (RE).
If you are new to the topic of infertility, you are probably not sure what to ask your doctor or where to look for resources or information. Below are ten important questions to ask your Ob/Gyn:
1. Do they take a reproductive history to determine if you have any infertility risks such as endometriosis, fibroids, recurrent miscarriages, etc.?
2. If your doctor hasn't done preliminary fertility blood testing, ask for a full-range of tests to determine if you have any infertility risks. It is important to be aware that some of these tests must be done at certain times in your menstrual cycle. Ask your doctor to explain why she is doing the tests when she is, so that you can be certain that your doctor is performing the test at the appropriate time.
3. Do they perform a semen analysis on your husband/boyfriend/partner? For example, if your spouse has sperm issues there would be no reason for your Ob/Gyn to prescribe Clomid (a common drug to stimulate ovulation). The goal is to minimize the drugs to which your body is exposed, the expense, and the emotional ups and downs you may experience.
4. What advice does your doctor offer for life style changes? For example, dietary changes can help increase your fertility as can regular exercise. However, sometimes even diet and exercise are not enough to resolve your medical issues.
5. What medications do they recommend or procedures do they offer for your condition(s)?
6. How much experience does he/she have with helping patients overcome their fertility issues? This is an extremely important question, as you do not want to stay with an Ob/Gyn who "dabbles" in fertility treatments because it could cost you time as well as money.
7. Who within their office can help you understand your health insurance benefits so that you can maximize your coverage for the fertility testing and treatments?
8. If they suggest Clomid, how many cycles will they recommend before considering additional testing or more advanced medications or treatments?
9. If they offer artificial insemination, known as intra-uterine insemination (IUI), do they monitor the number of follicles you produce via ultrasound before the insemination procedure takes place? Monitoring the number of follicles will alert them/you of the risk of twins or a high-order (three or more babies) multiple pregnancy.
10. Which REs do they recommend if advanced procedures are required?
There are four main organizations dedicated to helping the infertile community gather information as well as provide support either through articles, chat groups, or peer-lead support groups. RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association was founded in 1974 and advocates for the community in many ways, including mandated insurance coverage initiatives (see RESOLVE's website for information on the Family Building Act of 2007). INCIID, the InterNational Council on Infertility Information Dissemination, Inc., was founded in 1995 to provide infertility information and support. INCIID hosts discussion forums on its website. The American Fertility Association was founded in 1999 and offers easy to read informational and educational content on their website. Finally, Fertility LifeLines is a new educational resource for the community and offers discount coupons for certain medications.
Two of the most effective methods for surviving your fertility journey are to gather information and ask questions. For most of you, your Ob/Gyn will be your first step in the information gathering process. I urge you not to waste the opportunity to both gain as much knowledge as possible from your Ob/Gyn and to know when it is time to move on and seek the assistant of a fertility specialist.

Kelly Damron is the mother of twin girls conceived via IVF. She lives in Phoenix, AZ with her husband, Dave, and their daughters. She is an active volunteer with the March of Dimes and RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association. She wrote Tiny Toes: A Couple's Journey Through Infertility, Prematurity, and Depression 

Dating Mistakes to Avoid - Why Your Girlfriend Left You and How You Can Win Her Back

Has this ever happened to you?
You believe you've found the girl of your dreams. She's beautiful, intelligent and you both gel together remarkably well. You've introduced her to your family and friends and they like her. She's introduced you to her family and friends and they like you too.
Simply put, she's the ONE.
You treat her like a pure diamond rock found in the mountains of Sierra Leone. It's apparent to everyone that you really care for her.
Then all of a sudden things begin to change.
She no longer seems excited to go out on dates with you. While you used to have rich and fun hour long conversations with her in the past, you now struggle to keep her attention for 5 minutes. Then it finally happens. She calls you up and says she doesn't love you and she's started seeing someone else.
What happened, you ask. I thought she was meant to be the one.
Many guys have been in the same boat as you and have asked the same question. The answer to your dilemma lies in the fact that you flushed out the "attraction Juice" from your relationship. When a woman is no longer attracted to you, it can spell the end of a once vibrant relationship.
Are you making any of these 4 mistakes that could potentially cause your girlfriend to find another?
1. Regularly Declaring your Love
A woman wants a man and not a kid who cannot stand to be separated from his puppy dog. Declaring your love over and over again will cheapen the very thing you're trying to express to her.
2. Calling her too often
While you might have great intentions, this will come across as you being too needy and wanting her attention. Just remember that absence does make the heart grow fonder so easy with the phone calls.
3. Making her the Boss
What do you think when you see guys who answer to their woman's every beck and call? Wimps, right? Of course! Now a woman wants a strong man who is confident and able to stand his ground. If you cannot stand your ground against her, then what should make her think you'll be able to stand your ground against anyone or anything?
4. Being Over-sensitive
The main reason she went out with you was not for your sensitivity. Women are looking for a rock and once she detects you've turned into a rose flower, she'll begin to resent you. This is not to say you cannot express yourself emotionally but when this becomes the rule instead of the exception, then you're on the road to a break up.
Being a good guy is not enough to keep your girl. You have to learn how to maintain the attraction juice in your relationship to ensure the spark in your relationship never dies.

How to Build Trust in a New Relationship

Building trust in a new relationship is like building a fortress one block at a time. It may become deep and impenetrable or it may become sloppy with tiny holes. It all depends on how much effort you put into it and how solid you make the foundation.

You of course want a solid foundation with no holes because it can be hard to fill those holes in later. Those holes, or suspicious moments, hang around in the back of people minds and get referred to when another 'hole' appears. The more holes you have the less stable your relationship is and the harder it becomes to make it solid.

Here are a few things to remember when building your fortress of trust.

Be the real you at all times - If you are acting a certain way trying to please your partner you have to know that one day you will feel comfortable enough to be your real self. When that day comes your partner will wonder where the other real you, who was really the fake you, went. This is not just a hole but a huge missing block.

New relationships should be about learning what each other's likes and dislikes are and how compatible you really are together. You need to be honest and truthful at all times about who you are, even if you think it may hurt your relationship. Chances are it won't and if it does then it is better sooner than later.

Remember that actions speak louder than words - You may say that you like their favourite restaurant but if you sigh and make faces the whole time you are there then your actions are showing otherwise. No matter how much you say you like it you will not be convincing if your actions do not show it.

This leaves the other person to guess at what you 'really' think about the restaurant and, worse, it leaves it to their imagination.

Always keep your actions in line with your words to avoid trust issues that get propelled by imagination.

Communicate about everything - Proper and effective communication is the single biggest thing you can do to build trust in your relationship. If you are open and honest about everything then why would your partner have any reason to distrust you?

Plus sharing your thoughts, beliefs, and feelings with someone creates a tighter and tighter bond the more you do it. The tighter bond you have equals the more trust you have.

New Relationships take some work but you can build a solid and amazing relationship if you put the effort into it.

Bellaisa is an advocate for happy and stable relationships with yourself and with others and she has put together a site that has tips, articles, and resources for every stage of relationships called The Relationship Circle.

When to Give Your Girlfriend a Promise Ring

When you are in love, you may say and do things that later you might regret. You may tell a special someone you love them; meanwhile, there is someone else you have recently met you feel you just can't live without. So how do you know when is the right time to commit to a woman? The simple answer is when you have that gut feeling, little voice, or realize this is someone you would regret ever letting go. However, for the man who has already realized that his girlfriend is "the one," but isn't quite ready for marriage, there is always the promise ring.

One. Think about her style.

When choosing a promise ring, keep in mind the kind of jewelry you typically see her wear. Does she like big, showy items such as large hoop earrings, large stones in her rings, and big face watches? If so, then you want a very interesting ring with various cuts and most of all sparkles. However, if she is the conservative type but has a favorite color, then get her something that isn't too flashy with a stone that represents her favorite color. Avoid getting birthstones since you are trying to make a personal statement about your commitment to the relationship. Save purchasing birthstone jewelry for her birthday.

Two. Plan what you are going to say at the time you give her the ring.

This is crucial! Let's say you don't plan anything to say and just give her a box, she will be thinking, "Oh my God, he is proposing!" You don't want to do that! Rather, talk to her about how you would like to give her something to show your love, appreciation and commitment to the relationship and as the relationship matures maybe one day you would be willing to take it a step further. Choose your words wisely otherwise you will lead her into believing something that isn't true to what you are feeling.

Three. Write down a note reinforcing your feelings and what the ring means to you.

This is also important, because sometimes when a person is excited, he or she isn't paying much attention to what someone is saying. So the note will be something to reiterated what you told her prior to her opening that special little box. It is also a nice keepsake for her.

Four. Consider when you will give her the ring.

Since this is only a promise ring, do not invite family and friends to observe the event. A promise ring can be given between the two of you while sitting in a car, walking around at a park, after things have cooled down from an argument, or placed at a special location for her to find it along with your note.

Five. Avoid the temptation to treat the ring like a marriage proposal.

If you aren't too careful and make a big deal surrounding the ring, then it will make her feel like your presentation is more of a marriage proposal than just a simple declaration of love and commitment.
When you are ready to take things to the next level such as presenting her with an engagement ring, go all out!

Article written by Nicholl McGuire

Why Your Dream Girl is Now Your Worst Nightmare

When you both started going out things were great! Of course, they were, she never said a single word to hurt you and you never did anything to make her feel bad -- you were both still getting to know one another! But one day or many days of fighting changed all that! At first you said nothing and excused her emotions as her just having a bad day, but her mood swings became more frequent. Meanwhile, she accuses you of changing too. "You just aren't that great guy anymore either. What happened?" she says. You are thinking, "How did this beautiful woman go from saying 'Please, thank you, I can't live without you'" to "I hate you! I wish I never met you! Just get me what I ask for!"

You will need to start brainstorming if you haven't received a clear answer from her on what you could be doing to drive her crazy. She may have already told you, but she was talking so fast, crying, screaming and doing other things that you simply forgot what you were supposed to be doing. If you really want to save the relationship, you will do what you can to restore peace on your end, but if you don't, why bother reading anymore?

She caught you in a lie.

This offense is more popular then you realize whether the lie was small or big whether you caught her in a lie a time or two, the point is she could still be holding an old lie or two over your head. If you ask any woman who has been dating on and off, she will most likely tell you that she caught her former lover in a lie. He said he loved her, but there was another woman. He said he would be staying late at work, but he hung out with the guys without telling her. He said he would be going to the store to pick up some groceries, but he really went elsewhere (like the porno shop.) There are many stories that both sexes tell, but since this article is about what possibly drove her crazy about you, we will stick to what's relevant. Women don't take too kindly to liars, so think about the lies you know she caught you in then think about the lies you think she doesn't know about. She may have a lot of pent up anger she doesn't know what to do with yet, so it may come out at its worst nearing her menstrual cycle and then trail off once its over. Sometimes unresolved anger just comes out when you have hit her trigger point (or last nerve.) Avoid talking to her when you think she is being unreasonable. Try again when things are better with her physically and she has been acting a tadbit nicer to you.

You didn't meet her expectations.

You may have told her how much you make per year, bragged about living in a great neighborhood, and presented yourself as having it altogether. However, now that the relationship has gotten older, she has found out you are really broke, busted and disgusted, your neighborhood is full of weirdos, and your idea of a great time is staying at home watching a movie on most weekends. No offense, but a penniless couch potato living in an insane neighborhood will drive anyone mad!

You thought you got rid of all the evidence of your exs.

She may have stumbled across something in the top drawer towards the back, up underneath the socks in a small box inside another compartment ...you get my point. Your partner may be giving you a different look these days. She may be bringing up what seems to be odd ball statements mixed with a little craziness. You have a choice: go through all your old mementos and throw away photos, erase exs' phone numbers out your cell phone, destroy videos and anything else that could possibly be casting a negative light on your relationship or keep your stuff and get rid of her! But whatever you do, until you take care of the offensive evidence, she will keep on acting strange.

She discovered your not that great in bed.

Now let's face it, some men just love to talk about what they can do in bed, how great they can do it, where they like to do it, and on and on. Yet, the reality is some don't know how to move their hips, their private member may be shorter than what their new lady friend is use to, and suggested sexual positions do nothing more than give her gas. If this is her problem, it's only a matter of time that she will just blurt out something about your wiener, your tongue or both after you called her a few choice names. The best thing to do is interview, interview and interview some more when it comes to finding out what satisfies her.

You didn't meet family and/or friend requirements.

All women talk to someone in their immediate family or a friend about their relationship. Chances are if you feel uncomfortable around her family, you have every right to be, because there is more to their negative mannerisms than meets the eye. You may have talked about your relationship issues with her until you are blue in the face and she may have told you a million times she is sorry, but her family, they would prefer to put your head on a platter and serve it to the pet or better yet convince her how bad you are complete with a plan of escape for her.

Now all of these things may not apply to many of you, but to the few men who are trying to get to the root of his woman's craziness, this just might help. Do what you can to communicate, even if all your doing is a bunch of yelling. At some point someone will have to shut up and listen. Once you have spoken to her about the issues that make her crazy about you (both good and bad,) try to adjust your behavior even if she isn't so quick in changing her evil ways. If she sees you are making an attempt to better the relationship, she just may follow your lead. But if she doesn't, well you know what to do, compromise or get out before she drives you crazy enough to do something you may regret for the rest of your life!

Written by Nicholl McGuire to create your own articles like this, visit this site for writers.

When Is it Not a Good Time to Say It With Flowers?

Don't get in trouble with someone you are trying to make a good impression, read this before you say it with flowers!

When Is it Not a Good Time to Say It With Flowers?

How to Breakup With Your Boyfriend

If you are sure you want to breakup with your boyfriend then there are a few things that you need to do in order to make it easier on you and less painful on him.

Many guys will think they need to keep trying to win you back after you have broken up with them and they don't fully understand the reason that you broke up with them in the first place, but you do, and you have to remember those reasons no matter what they say or do, unless of course they can rectify them.

So with that in mind you will also know that giving them any sense of false hope is not only teasing them it is making them try harder to win you back which you ultimately don't want.

First when you breakup with them give them clear reasons why you are doing so. Tell them the truth. Whether it's that they don't understand you or you feel they don't treat you right, tell them. They may not get it, otherwise they would have been treating you good all along, but at least you've said it as clearly as you can possibly say it. You've done your part.

Secondly, act firmly on your decision. Do not wavier in your decision when they say "I can change!" Just stay true to your feelings that brought you here in the first place. If you show any sign of weighing your options your guy will quickly follow up with another automatic sentence to try to make you change your mind.

Lastly, after the breakup, avoid him for a while. If you have too much contact after the breakup he will not be able to fully deal with and get over his feelings for you because he will see you and the fact that you are moving on and he will instinctively want to do what he can to make that not happen.

The other reason that you need space after a breakup is because if he does pull out every trick up his sleeve you may eventually fall for one of them and end up back in a relationship with him.

Chances are that once you get back together you will have a few good weeks that make you think you made the right decision and then you will fall into the same old relationship you had before.

This is because he will be on his best behaviour during those few weeks doing everything he thinks will please you so that you will be caught in his trap again. Then once he realizes that your relationship is solid again he will fall back into old ways unless he has actively gone out and put effort into changing.

When breaking up with your boyfriend remember to be honest, straightforward, and committed to the breakup.

Bellaisa is an advocate for happy and stable relationships with yourself and with others and she has put together a site that has tips, articles, and resources for every stage of relationships called The Relationship Circle.

You can check it out at http://relationship-circle.com and be sure to join the newsletter for free e-books and information.

How to Break Up With a Woman You Are Dating

Over the past few months, I've endured the hardship of breaking up with various partners, inspiring me to write this newsletter. The break up was the part of the whole sharking process that I really hated; sometimes even scaring me away from entering into relationships in the first place. It was always extremely uncomfortable as I was sensitive to the woman's reaction. However, if there wasn't any real, lasting connection or love, then I had to break up so as to not waste the time of the respective girl. It was definitely easier for me and the girl to end things earlier rather than later.

Many recommend giving the woman respect, thereby meeting her and breaking up with her face-to-face.... I disagree! I think it's much harder for them, if you tell them face-to-face and extremely awkward and uncomfortable for both parties. At the most, I would meet after there had been a short period of respite, waiting for the initial emotional hit to settle, subsequent to my sending of a message first either via text or e-mail.

My main strategies for breaking up with a woman include the following:

Tip 1: To break up with your partner, maybe meet her with less and less frequency, seeming to be increasingly busier, and employing increasing periods of silence.

Fading out the relationship is relatively non-confrontational, and if there is any attack, it will come from her side, thereby giving you an even better excuse to break up. This happened with a girl of mine earlier in the year, whereby I gave excuses of being sick, traveling abroad, working, meeting friends who were visiting from overseas.... In the end, she sent me a raging text message, also saying (of herself), 'I'm not stupid!' She then disappeared, deleting me as a Facebook friend as well.

Tip 2: To break up with your mate, maybe wait for a moment when she blows up at you for something (no matter how small), maybe even facilitating this, and then use this as your cue to storm out, blowing things out of proportion, blaming her for attacking you.

Tip 3: Gather enough arguments for yourself in order to give a valid reason to break up, and maybe make these reasons clear to your partner.

A recent girlfriend of mine was super-negative and criticizing me for a lot of things. In the end, I sent a text message, saying, 'It's very hard for me to deal with your negative comments. It seems to me that we're not well suited for each other.' She responded totally shocked, apologizing and stating that she would still be happy to talk if we ever met by chance when out partying.

Tip 4: In breaking up, you could be totally honest about your feelings.

A while ago, I began ignoring a girl that I was seeing. After some time, I finally picked up the phone when she called and said, 'Sorry, I just don't feel that I love you.' She completely understood, and respected my answer, acting very civil about the whole affair.

Tip 5: To a more bothersome, casual lay, you can state that you now have a girlfriend if you want to get rid of her.

Tip 6: If you're an expat, maybe say that you'll be leaving the country soon, and thus there's no point continuing with each other (thereby wasting each other's time).

I used this excuse on a girl once, who I incidentally met some time afterwards. She asked, 'You're still here?' to which I answered, 'I came back.'

Tip 7: If she still doesn't get the hint about breaking up, then you probably have to be more direct.

Just this week, I had to take more drastic means with a girl I been trying to get rid of nicely and subtly. I sent her the following text message, 'Sorry, I just can't be serious about a relationship. It's not the right time for me now. I hope you understand.' Her response was, 'Yes, of course. I feel. No problem:) I also don't want to continue.'

Tip 8: Maybe disappear for a while, saying, 'I need to be alone for a while,' and hopefully the relationship will run out of steam.

At the time modern day pickup theory was still in its infancy, an alternative philosophy was being independently developed by an elite team of womanizers in Eastern Europe. This fresh concept of seduction, was termed Zero-In.

John Stevens, one of the 3 founding members of Zero-In, decided to detail his account as a womanizer (over a one year period) in a novel.

He also decided to summarise the main teachings of the group in a more structured way via an audio presentation series.

http://www.zero-in.eu