Why Marriage Isn’t for Everyone

For years, a companion might talk of marriage, but when it comes down to actually doing it, they are put off by the idea. Visions of a wedding don’t go over too well with some people. They know the significance of marriage vows. They worry over not being able to stay true to them. They are also concerned about things like: not being a good parent, not being able to take care of family due to a shortage of finances, divorce, death, and other issues. With so much on their minds when it comes to marriage, those with commitment phobias talk themselves out of getting married.

Marriage is such a touchy subject for some, that they break out in sweats, argue, break up, disregard the topic, or become silent. They reason that being in a relationship without getting married is good enough. In addition, these fearful individuals will convince any partner willing to go along with their plan to stay without the contract. Yet, if the intimate partner should desire marriage, the worried lover might fake interest and promise commitment, meanwhile knowing full well he or she will not marry.

The thought of commitment scares some.

Whatever may have happened in the past or what might have been witnessed over the years was so negative, that the individual who avoids marriage like a plague, doesn't find anything about it attractive. Thus, he or she will do almost anything to avoid it including orchestrating a break up if the topic comes up too often.

A single man or woman feels like he or she is giving up her freedom.

Marriage has been described as an institution, the old ball and chain, and other words that don’t give anyone a good feeling about it. No one wants to feel like his or her freedom is being taken away just because he or she chooses to marry. But an individual, who resents the idea, will not even bother to reason anything positive about it. One’s freedom is far more important than marriage.

Some people love work more than they could ever love being in an intimate relationship.

A man or woman who feels like a marital relationship is a dream crusher will not think of it as being a good thing. So if there are high hopes for job success or plans to make a major career move, marriage is not anything he or she would want.

Too many outside activities.

When one is already inundated with things to do, thinking of meeting a husband or wife’s needs is yet another burden that the already busy person doesn't want. Life is complicated enough for some, and having to obligate one’s self to yet another is a turn-off.

No desire to remain faithful to a single person.

A man or woman who immensely enjoys dating a variety of people will not commit. For some, they may desire a committed relationship, but then find themselves cheating. Past relationship drama has taught them marriage just isn't for them.

When one notices the unenthusiastic attitude concerning marriage and the pessimistic statements about it coming from the mouth of a date, know that this is a person who most likely will not change his or her view for a long time if ever. Too many people enter into relationships hoping to get married only to have hopes deferred for years because partners just don’t want to commit.


Nicholl McGuire authored Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate, Laboring to Love Myself, When Mothers Cry and other books.

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