Friday

When You Don’t Love a Date, You Pity Him or Her by Nicholl McGuire

So a date is not the type of person you had in mind?  Yet, you give a date the chance to prove his or herself. Even with some quality time spent getting to know the individual, you don’t see a future with this date. But you have a weakness for people with problems, and this date has more than a few.

Money issues, problems with relatives, no family in town, or personal struggles, you believe that if you stick around and help a date with his or her life challenges maybe you might love this person one day. The damsel in distress or the desperate man has softened your heart with “I love you” or “I want to be with you.” You feel connected to this person.

But love is not what is happening here, it is pity and lust between you two. One is dependent on the other. The one doing the most in the relationship is acting like the rescuer. In time, if there is no love shared between the two the relationship becomes dysfunctional. The savior becomes controlling while the needy type behaves like a puppet, doing what is asked of his or her master.

You might pity this person, because he or she is going through a tough time. Further, you enjoy the rush you get when you help a person in need. However, being a good friend to someone is not the same as building one’s life with him or her. If a date has mentioned commitment, he or she most likely expects that one day you will want the same. Yet, if that is not what you have in mind, you might want to think about ending the relationship sooner rather than later. One can remain friendly without being sexual. Having sex with a needy person creates a strong bond and if you are not into him or her your attitude will show.

The date who believes that what he or she is experiencing is love is most likely in lust. It feels good when someone is doing nice things for another. But nice deeds don’t mean that a person who is doing them is in love. If you should find a date seems to be quick about expressing feelings and planning a future, know that this person is more concerned about getting out of a troublesome situation above everything else. Notice what might be happening in his or her life that is pushing him or her into your arms.

Sometimes a date will mention things about a costly expense like a current living arrangement, transportation, childcare, and utilities in the hopes that you will help. Couples have been known to rush cohabitation only to regret it. They have assumed they loved one another when later they learn what they were experiencing was a lust for one another. They conversed with one another about much, but failed to discuss how their decision might affect others such as children.


When one discovers that pity is driving a relationship and not feelings of love, step back and start making adjustments. Never lead a person into thinking that you could one day fall in love with him or her when you know that is the furthest thing from the truth!

Nicholl McGuire shares more tips for women and men in turbulent relationships, see here.

No comments:

She's Crazy by Nicholl McGuire

She's Crazy by Nicholl McGuire
Dating or married to an angry woman?
Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...

Relationship Topics of Interest

about this blog abuse abused men abusive marriage abusive mate abusive relationship abusive women accused of cheating age gap dating andropause anger arguing art therapy bad dates baiters being in love best way to kiss black white relationships blind date blog owner books about men by men borderline personality disorder boring boyfriends boyfriend break up break up tips break up withdrawal breaking up breaking up with man breaking up with woman breakup building a strong relationship celibacy cheating christian dating cohabitation communication compatibility complex post traumatic stress disorder conflict controlling parents controlling partners crazy relationship date rape dating dating a cheater dating a divorced man dating a Sugar Daddy dating a widow dating a womanizer dating adventurous people dating advice dating advice for men dating advice for single women dating advice for women dating and money dating and relationship resources dating app dating apps dating arts and crafts lovers dating attire dating attractive people dating black women dating book and game lovers dating burnout dating filipino women dating men dating mistakes dating mothers dating older men dating profiles dating silly people dating single mothers dating sites dating tips dating tips for men dating tips for women dating violence dating websites dating while broke dating women depression disagreements divorce domestic violence dumb daters emotional abuse emotional cheating emotional intimacy emotional withdrawal engagement ex boyfriends ex girlfriend expectant fathers exs faith based relationships fake people fallen out of love family fighting first date first date gift first date ideas first date tips flirting free dating website free interracial dating websites friends friendship get in the mood music God and relationship good men good relationship healthy relationship histrionic personality disorder holidays how to catch a cheating partner how to forgive cheater how to get a woman how to get free exposure on this site how to get over someone how to get your ex back how to know he's interested in you how to take it slow humor husband husbands boyfriends immature men inlaws Internet dating interracial dating interracial online dating services intimate partner violence irish dating isolation jealousy liars lies lonely long distance relationships losing your mind love love yourself mama's boys manipulative relationships marriage marriage resources married men married women men men cheating midlife men mood swings naive women narcissism need life coach negative people new relationship new years no contact obsession older men dating younger women older women dating younger men online dating free site online dating services online dating tips paranoid personality disorder passive aggressive personal time while dating physical cheating physical chemistry planning a family players pms poems prejaculation prejaculation.com pretend believers promise rings psychopath reconciling couples regret rejection relationship relationship advice relationship advisor relationship books relationship commitment relationship concerns relationship counseling relationship experts relationship faithfulness relationship goals relationship help relationship issues relationship problems relationship tips relationships religious dating romantic couples romantic dinner tips roommates sex sex advice sex problems sexless marriage silent treatment single single christians single parents social networking sociopaths speed dating tips spirituality stale relationship stalkers stalking std stds stuttering suicide swearing teen dating the other woman tips meeting parents tips to get your ex back toxic people trust twitter unavailable men valentines day verbal abuse ways to get your ex back what women like about men widow women women cheating

Gadget

This content is not yet available over encrypted connections.

Gadget

This content is not yet available over encrypted connections.

Google Search

Love Dating Advice Blog Archive