Make Your Partner Feel Secure in the Relationship
She rolls her eyes, takes a deep sigh, acts irritated every time her partner speaks to anyone female including his own mother, what’s wrong with her? A boyfriend seated near his girlfriend overhears her talking and laughing on the phone with the father of her children, he breathes heavily and murmurs something about, “getting off the phone.” Two examples of insecure partners in relationships, but why?
Lack of communication and understanding.
You can talk until your blue in the face about your love for a mate, why you only want to be with him or her and so on, but are your actions sincerely demonstrating what you say? Maybe you haven’t communicated as well as you think to your insecure, and at times, jealous partner. Does he or she really know how much you love him or her or does the subject only come up when he or she notices that your attention is on someone else other than him or her? What about affection, sex, being helpful, and other factors in the relationship? Are issues being addressed and changes made? A mate needs to understand what part he or she plays in one’s life. Roles must be clearly established. You want your partner to feel as if he or she is really in your world and not of it.
No established boundaries that make a mate feel comfortable.
When it comes to the opposite sex, do you have boundaries that will not be crossed or does anything go? From a hug to a gentle kiss on the lips, is that okay with you and your mate? Most likely, it isn’t even if he or she says that “It’s cool.” Be sure that relatives and friends know how far to go with you. There are many people who do strange things with others in and outside of the relationship, family or not. If your partner is showing signs that he or she is no longer on board with the way you do things, respect his or her wishes if you want peace; otherwise, end the relationship.
An attraction for an ex.
New partners aren’t all blind to love. Some can see a mile away when his or her “Baby, Sweetie, Honey” is liking another man or woman, has an intimate history, or the person is very interested in having a future relationship. Don’t try to convince your mate that what he or she is seeing is “okay, alright, nothing to worry about” when you know deep inside there is more to meets the eye. Make every effort to create distance from those who would love to have more with you than friendship.
If you take up some time with your mate, show you really care, and are doing the best you can to ensure a quality relationship, some of the insecurity and jealousy just might die down. However, if you continue to do questionable things such as: hide mail, click off a computer screen when your partner comes into a room, stop talking when your mate sees you with the opposite sex, react negatively every time your partner embraces you publicly, and other similar things then expect issues and lots of them depending on whether you have previously violated trust. Some ways that you can make your mate feel more secure are: share positive messages, return phone calls as soon as possible, avoid the exes unless you have children, if so, limit your phone conversation and try not to do too much laughing and smiling when he or she is around, don’t lie when you can speak truth, and above everything else, if you have a faith, use it! Pray for your partner.
Nicholl McGuire also contributes and maintains another relationship blog: http://tipsdatingoldermen.blogspot.com