Future Relationship Challenges Revealed During the Courtship
Most dates will not tell of their weaknesses, you have to figure those out for yourself. However, there is a lot said in a joke, a quick retort, a roll of the eyes, or a deep sigh when you bring up sensitive subject matter.
The problem with many individuals who date is that they fear bringing up controversial issues because they think the person will no longer want to go out with them. Being "the trouble-maker" so to speak is actually a good thing, because you can cut your losses early if the date doesn't pass your tests. Remember, you are considering a future with someone who might be possibly impact the rest of your life!
Think of the many couples that started off happy, but are now miserable around you. Consider the many individuals who rush to get married only to fantasize about getting a divorce with every dispute that arises between the two.
Study your date like you do a textbook. What are some signs that simply say, "The future just won't be too bright with this one!"
1. "I am a big fan of...I love watching sporting events, reality shows...just about everything there is to watch on TV!" You know that if you aren't a big fan of the television, you most likely will run into issues in the future with him about it. For instance, the house needs to be cleaned, babies need to be fed, and errands need to be ran, and the TV lover prefers to sit on his behind all day!
2. "I love my family! We are so close. I wouldn't even think about moving to another state!" This is a definite deal breaker for the one who loves traveling, doesn't mind relocating and isn't that close to his family. Also, keep in mind, people who have close knit family ties will get parental input on just about every matter in their lives. Independent, free thinking, "I couldn't care less about family" types might want to keep away.
3. "I have many female friends and we all get along. I help them out." When a guy says this most likely someone or a group have seen him naked and feelings still exist between the two, three, or four more. If you have a problem with a man having female friends, he isn't going to get rid of them because of you; rather he will keep his female connections a secret or won't mention them until you see a name or two pop up on his cell phone or see photographs on his computer.
4. "I have a lot of guy friends, we hang out...we are the best of buddies." When a woman says this she may not have had sex with any of them, but if you screw up, one just might be in her future. If you are a man who can't stomach the fact that your girl has a lot of guy friends, you will have arguments about them in the future especially if she parties with them!
5. "I was in jail..." Use discretion as advised depending on the offense and how long he or she had been in will determine whether service in jail will impact your courtship/relationship. Unfortunately, there are those individuals who may have went in the jail straight, but came out a different way along with a disease or two.
6. "I had been sick in the past, missed work, my partner broke up with me..." Some people don't come out and say that illness is sometimes associated with recurrent sexually transmitted diseases and relationship break up. A incurable disease will affect your future especially when you can't have sex because the person has a long outbreak.
7. "I don't have friends." Now why might that be? What are the chances that this person might do or say something that will end your friendship too. Be cautious of people who have no contacts outside of yourself.
When you hear statements like these, think twice about being the Good Samaritan who wants to save the troubled guy or gal. You don't know what all is connected to this person that caused them to have so much hardship in life, have a strong connection to family and church, have a history of breakups including divorces, or why they can't keep a job for long. Think about all of these things before you commit to them physically, mentally and spiritually.
Nicholl McGuire author of Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate