6 Tips on How to Stop Sleeping with Friends

For some people it is hard to maintain friendships, because so many want to be lovers first and friends later!  If you have done this many times, you may have some personal issues that you have yet to deal with that might repeatedly move you to sleep with your so-called friends.  So what do you do to stop sleeping with your friends?

1.  Establish boundaries that let these people know, "Just friends, nothing more, nothing less!"  If you don't make up in your mind that you aren't going to sleep with every person who says they like you, then how are they supposed to respect the boundaries that you set?  For some lovers, you will have to let them go because they will do nothing more than keep tempting you especially when they can't seem to stop thinking about past episodes with you doing XYZ.

2.  Make love not war outside of the bedroom.  Simply put, you will need to deal with your disputes with friends apart from the place you lay your head.  The after affects of war has a way of making one take his or her clothes off even when you really don't want to.  So keep arguments away from your private quarters.

3.  Permit those you have been trying to impress or lure back to bed to see you when you aren't attractive or in the best moods.  Sometimes people just need a reality check.  You may have been guilty of drawing people to you because you purposely dress a certain way, perfume yourself, spend money on them, and do other things that make them think, "Romance" instead of "friends only."  Make yourself unattractive to certain people you know who are superficial and they will distance themselves, but for some they might grow fonder of you.  Whatever the reaction, you have to be the one to take control of your emotions and don't allow them to get the best of you.

4.  Be responsible with your body.  Unfortunately, far too many people act in ways with their bodies that advertise sex, rather than 'nice person to get to know.'  Start paying attention to how you hold your head, the way you walk, and the tone of your voice when conversing.  Are you expressing yourself in ways that say, "I'm good for only one thing..?"  Notice how people react to you.  Take control of your actions and tone down the sex appeal if you sincerely want to stop attracting lovers.

5. Interview those who you haven't had sex with and ask them what they think of you and how you behave with your so-called friends.  Their comments might hurt, but you need to know what more you can do to stop creating lovers out of your friends.  Find out if they notice any positive or negative patterns when you select friends.  Take what you have learned and start making some changes where needed.

6.  Learn more about relationships and what you really want for yourself.  Sometimes people act reckless with friendships because they really don't know how to be a friend.  Find more information about your personality type, what you hope to achieve in your professional life, and what interests you personally. Doing these things will put you on a path that is less focused on sex with friends and more about what truly matters in life and that is building quality relationships void of selfish intentions.

Remember, quality friendships are built not on what you can get from others, but what you can do for others.

Nicholl McGuire is the author of Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate and When Mothers Cry.


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