1. Be predictable. When do seeds of suspicion emerge? When one begins to think, What's up? Why is he doing that? He's never done that before. That is so unlike him. He loses 30 pounds, buys a new wardrobe and comes home late from work. He changes his patterns. His behavior becomes unpredictable. You get the picture? Any movement away from predictable behavior can become suspect and trust can deteriorate. Focus on acting predictably if you need to build trust. Be consistent in what you do. This doesn't mean you must be boring. If there is a twinkle in your eye and a dose of spontaneity every so often, for goodness sakes be spontaneous and fun loving. But, be spontaneous consistently! Be true to who you have always been and be that consistently, whoever you tend to be!
2. Inform your significant other when you become "unpredictable." No one goes through life the same person. We all make shifts and changes. Frankly sometimes we may be fairly clueless about what is happening and where we are going. Those times may be very intense and we do some silly things or make some downright dumb decisions. Life can get very squirrelly and unpredictable. (I have a favorite phrase: Gold is refined through intense heat.) Growth in an individual, marriage or family often is accompanied by a little chaos. Welcome these shifts, for there is a part of you searching for something better/different/richer/deeper, but for heaven's sake, inform your partner of what you are experiencing. Say, "I really don't know what is going on in me right now, but I'm moving in a different direction. Be a little patient with me while I figure this out. I might do some silly things, but my intent is not to harm you or scare you. Accept some of my wondering and wandering and please be there for me? I may need to run some of this by you every so often!"
3. Make sure your words match the message. Mean what you say and say what you mean. When your partner hears one thing in your words but your tone of voice, body language and facial expressions are really saying something else, you open the relationship to some crazy making days. Which message is she to believe? This can waste a tremendous amount of energy and she learns not to trust part of what you are saying. Here's a very simple but common example. You are getting ready to go to a formal dinner. Your wife comes to you and says, "How do I look?" (And she's wearing a dress you don't particularly like and her hair is pulled back in a way that turns you off.) Not to spoil the evening you enthusiastically say, "You look great." You don't really mean it and a part of her knows you really don't mean it. But, you leave it at that. This might not seem like a big deal - we all have done something similar - but if trust is shaky to begin with, it is even shakier now. Here's how to match the words with the nonverbal: "I think you are a beautiful person. I want you to know that. I love you dearly and it will be wonderful to have you by my side tonight. Others will see your beauty. (As you say this, you look into her eyes as you put your hands around her waist.) She's not concerned so much with how she looks but is expressing a need for affirmation. She's not talking about her dress or hair, but about wanting to know the evening is going to go just fine. You respond to the real message. You can take this one step further, if you like. At some point you might bring up her need for affirmation and talk about that. Ask her is there is anything you can say or do so that need is met. Trust is awareness of the intent beneath the obvious message and responding to that!
4. Believe the other person is competent. I hear this phrase very often: "But, I don't want to hurt him." A couple things are at play here. First, she may not have the skill of confronting the other with the truth in a way that brings reconciliation and understanding. She believes truth telling is destructive or entails some sort of drama. Neither is true. The truth is never destructive and can be conveyed in loving ways. (With that said, what we believe to be the truth may indeed be a distorted perception that fits our personal needs.) Or, she may see the other person as a wimp; someone she believes cannot handle rigorous personal confrontation. She doesn't trust that the other person has the internal strength or stamina or skills to be in a relationship of mutual respect and equality. The other person picks up on this mistrust and does what he does (feigns inadequacy and incompetence) to avoid the personal confrontation as well. A dance is acted out. Believe and know in your heart that the other person, somewhere and somehow, beneath the games, has the internal strength and capacity to handle anything. Such trust builds trust in the other person and begins to pervade the relationship. "Hey, she thinks I can handle this! Hmmmm, this is mighty good! I CAN engage her and be truly intimate!"
5. Be very very careful of keeping secrets. If he knows there is an elephant in the room and doesn't talk about it, the elephant takes up tremendous space in the relationship. It takes energy for him to walk around it. She may not see the elephant but knows he is bending his neck to look around something. She will be curious, mildly disturbed, have feelings but no words to wrap around them, might wonder if something is wrong with her or struggle with trusting her intuition (her intuition KNOWS an elephant is there.) And, when we can't trust the messages that come from within us, we find it very difficult to trust the messages of the other person. Secrets demand tremendous energy and erode trust. The relationship is doomed never to experience wall-banging intimacy. This is why extramarital affairs are so damaging. She is not so much concerned about him having sex with someone else as she is about the betrayal, lack of trust, the secrets and deception that are crazy making and energy draining. Now, please. I'm not saying that you sit your partner down and divulge the 23 secrets of your illicit past behaviors. If you have resolved those, i.e. forgiven yourself, understand those behaviors, learned from them and were able to use them to make the internal shifts necessary for your personal development, they do not qualify as an elephant. Hopefully, in the course of growing intimacy in your relationship you may want to share some of those events as you disclose to your partner where you were and where you are now. You do so without emotional charge. However, if a secret takes up room, i.e. still has an emotional charge and holds you back from disclosing more and more of yourself in the growing stages of intimacy, you have a problem that needs to be addressed with your partner.
6. Let YOUR needs be known - loudly. Be a little - no, be a lot - self-centered. (Be self-centered, but not selfish!) Here's a problem I run into almost every day. He is backing away (perhaps attached to work, another person, etc.). She feels the trust and intimacy eroding, is scared and wants to "win him back." So she begins an all out effort to "work on the marriage." She invites him to do so as well. He may reluctantly agree. She blasts full throttle ahead trying to "be nice" and meet every need he ever said he had. She's going to "fill his tank with goodies." Doesn't work. Her eyes are riveted on him. He feels "smothered" or maybe even resentful: "Why is she doing this NOW!" She's hopeful, but eventually that turns to resentment. Her underlying motive - if I meet his needs, he will feel good and meet mine - just doesn't work. It's perceived as manipulation, which it is. Of course, he doesn't say anything. After all, how do you get angry with someone who is so "nice and caring?" Trust disintegrates under a blanket of quiet niceties. Start with your eyes focused on YOU. What do YOU need? Explore your personal need system. Dig beneath the surface. And then say to him: "I need...x, y and z. I would like to talk to you about them. I would like us to work out a way so my needs are met. Are you open to that?" He is empowered to say yes or no. Or, he may say, "What about my needs?" You respond, "I am very interested in hearing what is important to you, certainly." Have you ever been around someone who stated clearly what they needed/wanted? Didn't you respect that person? Because you knew where he stood, and therefore where you stood, didn't that interaction move toward a trusting relationship?
7. State who YOU are - loudly. It is very sad to see those in relationships of emotional investment hold back from letting the other person know who they really are. You build trust in a relationship by entrusting your SELF to the other person. This sounds easy but I find it difficult for most to pull off. Most of us have a difficult time declaring our SELF. For one thing, if you're like most of us, you haven't given much thought to what it is that makes YOU truly YOU. Don't you feel like you glide through life on autopilot, focusing on tasks, goals, accomplishments, problems and the external realities? Don't you tend to focus on those things out there or that person out there? You're concerned about what he is thinking, how he is responding to you, whether he likes you, whether he will be an obstacle and where he will fit in your life? Your conversations may be pleasant but fairly superficial and bluntly, boringly inane. You converse about things/relationships/events out there. You are reluctant to share your thoughts, values, and impressions or take a stand. This doesn't destroy trust. But it doesn't create it either. And, if you do take a stand it may serve the purpose of protecting you or entrenching you as you react against someone. This more often than not creates trust barriers. Take some time to reflect on your standards. What are your standards for a relationship? What standards do you hold for yourself? What do you order your life around? What are the 4 top values in your life? What are some themes that you live by? What are you known for? And then...begin letting significant people in your life know. They will respect you. They will know you more deeply. They will thank you for the opportunity to know you. They will see you as a person of character. They will trust you. They can count on you. They know exactly what is behind and within you.
8. Learn to say NO! Sometimes you need to say NO! Often it is crucial to say NO! Saying NO sets boundaries around you that protects you from being hurt or venturing into territory that will be destructive to your heart and soul. You draw a line. You stop tolerating that which drains energy and makes you less than YOU. You refuse to allow the destructive behaviors of others to destroy you. You build a moat around the core of your life. You do this by informing the other person of what they are doing. You request they stop. If they don't stop, you demand they stop. If they don't stop you walk away without a snide remark, eye-roll or comment. To some this seems harsh, but saying NO is RESPECTED. Fear is the basis of mistrust. If you fear that someone will hurt you and believe you have no recourse but to endure that hurt, fear will prevail. How can you trust when you are in fear? Saying NO, protecting yourself, sends a message to the other person that you will not live in fear. This usually triggers a response of respect from the other person. After all, if you can protect yourself and refuse subjugation to that which is destructive, will not the other person come to trust you and see you as a person who just might protect him/her from harm as well?
9. Charge Neutral. When your significant other expresses something powerfully, charge neutral. Most of us are afraid of strong feelings or points of contention in a relationship. I commonly hear people respond by defending themselves (to a perceived attack), explaining themselves, counter-attacking, shutting down, or walking away. Of course, the relationship remains stuck in this quagmire of mistrust and fear. Rather than reacting and having your feelings flowing all over the place or shutting down, practice charging neutral. Communicate calmness, not only in your tone of voice but also in how you carry your body. Don't speak with a charge to your voice. Control your voice! Say what you must say, state the truth and do it directly and calmly. You can do this, once you master your fears. It will dramatically change the flow of the relationship. You will be able to point out something big, without making a big deal out of it. You will be in control of you. This not only feels great, but your partner trusts that you won't fly or fall apart. You will experience your personal power. This makes you very attractive. Don't people really trust someone who knows their personal power and how to use it for the welfare of themselves and others? Your partner will love the fact that she can trust you consistently to operate from your "quiet center," remain engaged, not back down and speak the truth with conviction and calmness.
10. Dig into the dirt. Relationships of emotional investment, by their nature, bring trials, tribulations, fears, chaos, turmoil, change, stretching and growth. They become the grist from which your life is shaped and formed. Be fearless when faced with turmoil, upset, crisis, questions, and fears. When the time is right, seek them out. Move toward the frightening unknown. Dig into the dirt of your relationship and uncover the treasures. Do you really TRUST that this can happen? The purpose of your relationship is not to make you happy. Do you realize this? Happiness may be an outcome, but your other is given to you to move you to where you really want to be. Obstacles, trials and moments of pain are given as lessons on which you intentionally write the script of your life individually and together. Embrace the difficult. Trust that in this embracing you will find more of your true self. Trust that you are given the resources and capacity to face what you and your significant other are to face. Once you are able to believe and trust these ultimate purposes, trusting your significant other will be that much more easy.
Dr. Robert Huizenga, The Infidelity Coach, has helped hundreds of couples over the past two decades heal from the agony of extramarital affairs and survive infidelity. Visit his website at: http://www.break-free-from-the-affair.com
Online Dating - 10 Rules Everyone Should Know
Online dating is an exciting frontier, filled with possibilities around every corner - but before you begin returning those enticing emails, there are 10 rules you should abide by.
Your love life may be stalled for a number of reasons. A recently ended relationship might leave you stranded with a condensed social circle and feelings of loneliness. You might have experienced a recent change, like a divorce, graduating from college, or moving to a new city. No matter what the circumstance, it is hard to meet new people. Enter the world of online dating - full of variety, spice, and excitement. If you're new to the online dating scene, there are several things that everyone should know.
1. Plan ahead
Are you looking to just spend some time entertaining yourself in chat rooms? Looking for someone to hang out with on the weekends? Seeking a one night stand? Trying to find Mr. or Ms. Right? Determine your goals for online dating and stick to them - otherwise you might hurt the feelings of others or find yourself scraping up the pieces of another failed relationship.
2. Ask your friends
Online dating and chat rooms are standard tools for people of all walks of life looking for love or a little fun. Ask your friends what sites have worked for them in the past. Trust the opinions of those you already know rather than choosing a service at random.
3. Start slow
You may need to spend some time in chat rooms, email correspondence, or even via the telephone before you feel comfortable enough to meet someone. Take your time - there is no rush! Enjoy the process and embrace the excitement.
4. Tell the truth!
If you really want to experience success with online dating, you must be honest. While you cannot control the actions of others, maintaining accountability to yourself will thwart the temptation to attach someone else's picture to your profile or lie about your past.
5. Organize and prioritize
Online dating can be overwhelming. It's a lot easier to browse profiles of individuals that you know are looking for a relationship than to strike up a conversation with someone at the bar. Choose a few of the most interesting profiles, take notes, and limit yourself to corresponding with them at first. You can always look again if they don't work out, and this will avoid too much activity and confusing emotions.
6. Don't believe everything you see or read
If he or she sounds too good to be true, it's very possible that you're looking at a bad egg. Take your time getting to know someone. Check their story. If you have arrived to the point where personal information has been revealed, there are ways you can verify details. If a person claims they work at the local community college, you can check the phone directory for their name. Public record is a valuable resource!
7. Chat room etiquette
That old adage "if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all" still applies to online dating. Chat rooms often give people a sense of invincibility. When the fingers start flying, things tend to move fast and have the potential to get steamy. Stop. Think. If you wouldn't say it to a complete stranger face-to-face, don't say it at all.
8. Paying for an online dating service might not be so bad
Websites that charge for entering chat rooms or making an online dating profile may turn you off at first glance. You might feel embarrassed or afraid to shell out hard earned money to a dating website; however, you can rest assured that if someone is willing to make the investment it costs to participate in online dating circles, it's possible that they are very serious and willing to go the extra mile for you!
9. Be available
Don't have access to the internet everyday? This might cause problems in the online dating world. Those who try this method of socialization like to think they'll receive quick responses. Be available, consider setting aside a specific time to spend in the chat room, and respond to emails in a timely fashion. Otherwise, you might find your potentials losing interest.
10. Safety first, second, and third
When you've gathered your confidence and found somebody you want to meet face-to-face, remember that you don't know what to expect. Meet in a public place. Drive your own car so that you can maintain control of your environment, and leave if you feel uncomfortable. Even if the first date leads to a second, or third, keep in mind that you've only just met, and there is no need to rush.
Aelicia Anderson has been involved in online dating sites for over ten years and is widely considered an expert in the industry. When not writing her popular dating advice column Aelicia can often be found hanging in her favourite chat rooms.
Your love life may be stalled for a number of reasons. A recently ended relationship might leave you stranded with a condensed social circle and feelings of loneliness. You might have experienced a recent change, like a divorce, graduating from college, or moving to a new city. No matter what the circumstance, it is hard to meet new people. Enter the world of online dating - full of variety, spice, and excitement. If you're new to the online dating scene, there are several things that everyone should know.
1. Plan ahead
Are you looking to just spend some time entertaining yourself in chat rooms? Looking for someone to hang out with on the weekends? Seeking a one night stand? Trying to find Mr. or Ms. Right? Determine your goals for online dating and stick to them - otherwise you might hurt the feelings of others or find yourself scraping up the pieces of another failed relationship.
2. Ask your friends
Online dating and chat rooms are standard tools for people of all walks of life looking for love or a little fun. Ask your friends what sites have worked for them in the past. Trust the opinions of those you already know rather than choosing a service at random.
3. Start slow
You may need to spend some time in chat rooms, email correspondence, or even via the telephone before you feel comfortable enough to meet someone. Take your time - there is no rush! Enjoy the process and embrace the excitement.
4. Tell the truth!
If you really want to experience success with online dating, you must be honest. While you cannot control the actions of others, maintaining accountability to yourself will thwart the temptation to attach someone else's picture to your profile or lie about your past.
5. Organize and prioritize
Online dating can be overwhelming. It's a lot easier to browse profiles of individuals that you know are looking for a relationship than to strike up a conversation with someone at the bar. Choose a few of the most interesting profiles, take notes, and limit yourself to corresponding with them at first. You can always look again if they don't work out, and this will avoid too much activity and confusing emotions.
6. Don't believe everything you see or read
If he or she sounds too good to be true, it's very possible that you're looking at a bad egg. Take your time getting to know someone. Check their story. If you have arrived to the point where personal information has been revealed, there are ways you can verify details. If a person claims they work at the local community college, you can check the phone directory for their name. Public record is a valuable resource!
7. Chat room etiquette
That old adage "if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all" still applies to online dating. Chat rooms often give people a sense of invincibility. When the fingers start flying, things tend to move fast and have the potential to get steamy. Stop. Think. If you wouldn't say it to a complete stranger face-to-face, don't say it at all.
8. Paying for an online dating service might not be so bad
Websites that charge for entering chat rooms or making an online dating profile may turn you off at first glance. You might feel embarrassed or afraid to shell out hard earned money to a dating website; however, you can rest assured that if someone is willing to make the investment it costs to participate in online dating circles, it's possible that they are very serious and willing to go the extra mile for you!
9. Be available
Don't have access to the internet everyday? This might cause problems in the online dating world. Those who try this method of socialization like to think they'll receive quick responses. Be available, consider setting aside a specific time to spend in the chat room, and respond to emails in a timely fashion. Otherwise, you might find your potentials losing interest.
10. Safety first, second, and third
When you've gathered your confidence and found somebody you want to meet face-to-face, remember that you don't know what to expect. Meet in a public place. Drive your own car so that you can maintain control of your environment, and leave if you feel uncomfortable. Even if the first date leads to a second, or third, keep in mind that you've only just met, and there is no need to rush.
Aelicia Anderson has been involved in online dating sites for over ten years and is widely considered an expert in the industry. When not writing her popular dating advice column Aelicia can often be found hanging in her favourite chat rooms.
How to Get Your Man to Do Something for You
You may have noticed their your relationship is in a drought these days. It seems that the more you do the less he does. Could it be because you haven't asked him to do anything for you? Could it be the way you asked him to do things for you? Could it be that you are sending your man signs that say you aren't as interested in him like you once were? Whatever the reason, you now realize you want something from your man, so how do you get it?
First, when a man tells you that they want to be appreciated, they mean it. So in order to get something from him, you need to show him some appreciation.
Next, men often complain about being nagged into doing things. If it works in your relationship then no one should tell you any different. Unfortunately, some men are programmed to only do if repeatedly asked. However, there are many more men that don't have to be told over and over again to do something,; rather they do it because they just want to make their wife or girlfriend happy. So go ahead verbally ask him and leave a note to remind him of what it is that you want from him. Add something sweet to the note like a "love you, thinking of you..."
Third, after you have made the time to ask him, most likely it hasn't been done yet. Consider whether or not you gave him a specific date, time and/or reminder. Don't be fearful of nagging him because you have to ask him again. We all forget things sometimes so don't think negatively, "You see he never listens. I shouldn't have to ask him over and over again."
Some men have heard what you said, its just the timing for them may not be right. When this happens all we can do is wait. If you force an issue, give him ultimatums, have a fit, it will only make him go into his mental cave and not come out until you have calmed down.
Lastly, if it is something that you can get someone else to do, talk to your man about it first. don't be like some women who put their hands on their hips and say, "I don't need you! I have my own money I will get it done myself!" Taking on this attitude will only make a man angry and resentful. He will keep that in mind when you want him to do something else then he will say, "You got your own money remember? Do it yourself, Ms. Independent!" Unfortunately, exercising your independence during tensed moments in the relationship will only leave you miserable and alone.
There are still men in this world who want to care for their women even if they have a funny way of showing it!
Nicholl McGuire is a Writer for various websites including: Associated Content, Ehow, Bukisa, and Helium. She is currently in a relationship and a mother.
http://www.twitter.com/nichollmcguire
First, when a man tells you that they want to be appreciated, they mean it. So in order to get something from him, you need to show him some appreciation.
Next, men often complain about being nagged into doing things. If it works in your relationship then no one should tell you any different. Unfortunately, some men are programmed to only do if repeatedly asked. However, there are many more men that don't have to be told over and over again to do something,; rather they do it because they just want to make their wife or girlfriend happy. So go ahead verbally ask him and leave a note to remind him of what it is that you want from him. Add something sweet to the note like a "love you, thinking of you..."
Third, after you have made the time to ask him, most likely it hasn't been done yet. Consider whether or not you gave him a specific date, time and/or reminder. Don't be fearful of nagging him because you have to ask him again. We all forget things sometimes so don't think negatively, "You see he never listens. I shouldn't have to ask him over and over again."
Some men have heard what you said, its just the timing for them may not be right. When this happens all we can do is wait. If you force an issue, give him ultimatums, have a fit, it will only make him go into his mental cave and not come out until you have calmed down.
Lastly, if it is something that you can get someone else to do, talk to your man about it first. don't be like some women who put their hands on their hips and say, "I don't need you! I have my own money I will get it done myself!" Taking on this attitude will only make a man angry and resentful. He will keep that in mind when you want him to do something else then he will say, "You got your own money remember? Do it yourself, Ms. Independent!" Unfortunately, exercising your independence during tensed moments in the relationship will only leave you miserable and alone.
There are still men in this world who want to care for their women even if they have a funny way of showing it!
Nicholl McGuire is a Writer for various websites including: Associated Content, Ehow, Bukisa, and Helium. She is currently in a relationship and a mother.
http://www.twitter.com/nichollmcguire
How to Stop a Breakup Right Now With Confidence
We all love when our relationships are filled with fun, joy, and love. However when the relationship starts to head south we want to stick our heads in the sand and hide. Well if the relationship means anything to us we simply can't hide, we have to stand up straight and fight for our love. Might sound kind of corny but it is a time tested strategy that will work. Other than just out right fighting for her here are a few tips that will aid in finding out how to stop a break up.
1. Build Up Your Confidence: Do whatever it will take to bring on a strong healthy demeanor. No one is even going to think of taking you back if you are depressed and full of sadness. Before you even think about trying to stop a break up, go out and exercise for about a week. Get your adrenaline pumping on the inside and you will get a renewed self confidence on the inside. Take this self confidence and go talk to your girlfriend
2. Learn Your Lines: Were you ever in a school play? Well if you were I'll bet you read over and over your script to memorize your lines. You did this so you would not get up on stage, draw a blank and look like a total fool. Well it is going to be the exact same way when you talk to your girlfriend. Obviously you will not have a script but seriously try to think of what you are going to say. Have it memorized so you will not get side tracked by your emotions. If you are serious about winning back the woman of your dreams, make sure you get your words down correctly.
3. Be Secure In Your Emotions. Know is the time to let your emotions out, but try not to become a crying mess. In other words, let her know exactly how you feel about her. Do not hold anything back because you think you will feel week. remember you have already built up your self confidence and have your words picked out. Now is the time to put it all together and let her know that you want her back and she wants you. You are willing to do whatever it is going to take to win this relationship back.
In conclusion stick to your guns and do not take no for an answer, unless of course she threatens to prosecute. Hopefully we are no where near that stage in the relation, because more than likely it is a hopeless cause. However, in all seriousness, make a battle plan, and stop that break up before it becomes permanent!
By Dorothy J. Hudson
1. Build Up Your Confidence: Do whatever it will take to bring on a strong healthy demeanor. No one is even going to think of taking you back if you are depressed and full of sadness. Before you even think about trying to stop a break up, go out and exercise for about a week. Get your adrenaline pumping on the inside and you will get a renewed self confidence on the inside. Take this self confidence and go talk to your girlfriend
2. Learn Your Lines: Were you ever in a school play? Well if you were I'll bet you read over and over your script to memorize your lines. You did this so you would not get up on stage, draw a blank and look like a total fool. Well it is going to be the exact same way when you talk to your girlfriend. Obviously you will not have a script but seriously try to think of what you are going to say. Have it memorized so you will not get side tracked by your emotions. If you are serious about winning back the woman of your dreams, make sure you get your words down correctly.
3. Be Secure In Your Emotions. Know is the time to let your emotions out, but try not to become a crying mess. In other words, let her know exactly how you feel about her. Do not hold anything back because you think you will feel week. remember you have already built up your self confidence and have your words picked out. Now is the time to put it all together and let her know that you want her back and she wants you. You are willing to do whatever it is going to take to win this relationship back.
In conclusion stick to your guns and do not take no for an answer, unless of course she threatens to prosecute. Hopefully we are no where near that stage in the relation, because more than likely it is a hopeless cause. However, in all seriousness, make a battle plan, and stop that break up before it becomes permanent!
By Dorothy J. Hudson
Dating Tips For Women - Understanding Men
Are You Looking for the "Secret Psychology" to Getting A Man Hooked for Good?
Here are three dating tips for women for better understanding men. If you pay attention to these three things (words and actions) early on in the relationship, you will have a better idea both of how well your relationship is going and how the man thinks it's going. Much of the dating tips for women don't mention that men sometimes don't use words at all when they are communicating with you.
Man Code Dating Tip #1: A Man Tells You He Needs His Space
This means you should take little notice of him and not call him. Men love the chase. The man will begin calling you wanting to know what happened. By not making yourself too available early on, you keep him on his feet, which is a good thing in the first stage of the relationship.
Man Code Dating Tip #2: He Calls You Every Night Just To Say Goodnight
Other than the obvious reason, a man tends to do this in the early stages of the relationship as a way of seeing if he still likes you. Calling you this soon into a relationship means that he is interested in you. If he continues to do this as the days pass, it is a good sign he is interested having a relationship with you.
Man Code Dating Tip #3: The Car Rescue
You are all set to meet up with him for a date and you plan on meeting him somewhere close to his house. All of a sudden you run into car problems. You contact him to say you ran into car problems and you can't make it. If he offers to pick you up, or better yet insists on it, he is telling you that he is interested in you more than just being a friend. Guys only go out of they're way for women they are interested in.
By Kyle Rieves
Learn The Secrets Most Women Will Never Know About Attracting And Keeping A Great Man...
Find out where to get 50 free dating advice videos from a legendary dating coach who gives great dating tips for women.
Click Here For Free Dating Videos
Here are three dating tips for women for better understanding men. If you pay attention to these three things (words and actions) early on in the relationship, you will have a better idea both of how well your relationship is going and how the man thinks it's going. Much of the dating tips for women don't mention that men sometimes don't use words at all when they are communicating with you.
Man Code Dating Tip #1: A Man Tells You He Needs His Space
This means you should take little notice of him and not call him. Men love the chase. The man will begin calling you wanting to know what happened. By not making yourself too available early on, you keep him on his feet, which is a good thing in the first stage of the relationship.
Man Code Dating Tip #2: He Calls You Every Night Just To Say Goodnight
Other than the obvious reason, a man tends to do this in the early stages of the relationship as a way of seeing if he still likes you. Calling you this soon into a relationship means that he is interested in you. If he continues to do this as the days pass, it is a good sign he is interested having a relationship with you.
Man Code Dating Tip #3: The Car Rescue
You are all set to meet up with him for a date and you plan on meeting him somewhere close to his house. All of a sudden you run into car problems. You contact him to say you ran into car problems and you can't make it. If he offers to pick you up, or better yet insists on it, he is telling you that he is interested in you more than just being a friend. Guys only go out of they're way for women they are interested in.
By Kyle Rieves
Learn The Secrets Most Women Will Never Know About Attracting And Keeping A Great Man...
Find out where to get 50 free dating advice videos from a legendary dating coach who gives great dating tips for women.
Click Here For Free Dating Videos
Ten Dating Tips For Men
1. Smell Good
Being clean is a huge plus when you show up for a first date. Take some time to take a shower, shave, brush your teeth and make sure you smell good. A woman will judge you on how clean you are the same as you will judge her on how she looks.
2. Be on Time
Being late to a date is one of the most disrespectful things you can do, especially on a first date. Don't keep her waiting. It's a bad first impression and she may not even wait for you.
3. Bring a Gift
Take what you know about your date already and get her a gift that she will like. Flowers are good, but she will appreciate something more creative. If you know what her hobbies or interests are, parlay that into a gift. She'll be impressed at your cleverness and the fact that you remembered what she likes.
4. Practice Chivalry
Make a great first impression by opening the doors for her and paying for the entire evening. Hang up her coat if she has one and pull her chair out for her. Chivalry is a forgotten are and she will enjoy being treated like a lady.
5. Bring the Compliments
Before asking her how she is, tell her how beautiful she looks. Pepper some more comments throughout the night, but no more than three or four more. More than that and you will seem insincere and needy.
6. Keep the Conversation Going
Lulls in conversation can be awkward on a first date. If you know some things she is interested in, do some research about those topics so you can ask her questions about them.
7. Listen
Be genuinely interested in what she has to say and show it. Make eye contact when she is talking and ask questions about what she said. This will show that you are listening and you are interested in what she says.
8. Use Your Gut Instinct
Everybody dreads the "goodnight kiss" part of a first date. You never know if you will offend her by trying to get a kiss or if you will offend her by not trying. Pay attention to her body language and your gut feeling and go with that when making your decision.
9. Call Her
If you are interested in a second date, let her know and tell her you will call her or set up another date right there. However, do not say you will call her if you do not intend to. That is rude and unacceptable.
10. Avoid Dirty Talk
Men have a tendency to talk about bedroom stuff before it's time. Do not ask her any personal questions during the first date or else she may think you are only after one thing.
By Jeff Lundquist
If you are looking to start dating, http://www.Readytodate.com is a free online dating website that has helped singles find dates since 2002
Being clean is a huge plus when you show up for a first date. Take some time to take a shower, shave, brush your teeth and make sure you smell good. A woman will judge you on how clean you are the same as you will judge her on how she looks.
2. Be on Time
Being late to a date is one of the most disrespectful things you can do, especially on a first date. Don't keep her waiting. It's a bad first impression and she may not even wait for you.
3. Bring a Gift
Take what you know about your date already and get her a gift that she will like. Flowers are good, but she will appreciate something more creative. If you know what her hobbies or interests are, parlay that into a gift. She'll be impressed at your cleverness and the fact that you remembered what she likes.
4. Practice Chivalry
Make a great first impression by opening the doors for her and paying for the entire evening. Hang up her coat if she has one and pull her chair out for her. Chivalry is a forgotten are and she will enjoy being treated like a lady.
5. Bring the Compliments
Before asking her how she is, tell her how beautiful she looks. Pepper some more comments throughout the night, but no more than three or four more. More than that and you will seem insincere and needy.
6. Keep the Conversation Going
Lulls in conversation can be awkward on a first date. If you know some things she is interested in, do some research about those topics so you can ask her questions about them.
7. Listen
Be genuinely interested in what she has to say and show it. Make eye contact when she is talking and ask questions about what she said. This will show that you are listening and you are interested in what she says.
8. Use Your Gut Instinct
Everybody dreads the "goodnight kiss" part of a first date. You never know if you will offend her by trying to get a kiss or if you will offend her by not trying. Pay attention to her body language and your gut feeling and go with that when making your decision.
9. Call Her
If you are interested in a second date, let her know and tell her you will call her or set up another date right there. However, do not say you will call her if you do not intend to. That is rude and unacceptable.
10. Avoid Dirty Talk
Men have a tendency to talk about bedroom stuff before it's time. Do not ask her any personal questions during the first date or else she may think you are only after one thing.
By Jeff Lundquist
If you are looking to start dating, http://www.Readytodate.com is a free online dating website that has helped singles find dates since 2002
Dating Filipino Women - Avoiding Problems
Dating Filipino women online and avoiding the scammers
One of the most difficult things to avoid when dating most any foreign women is the scammers. This is also true with the Philippines. Maybe even one of the worst. Considering the jobless rate and the fact that they can make a rather good income from scamming foreign men. Also there is the fact that the Philippines attracts the majority of foreign men for a variety of reasons. Meaning its a large market.
The way the most prevalent scam works today is these people have at least 10 and possibly 20 different profiles on the more popular dating sites. Therefore increasing the odds that you will contact many of these before you find an honest true woman that's looking for the same thing you are. True love.
When you encounter these women (or men) they will do their best to make you make the biggest mistake of online dating (in my opinion) by falling in love online. They use pictures of Filipino actresses or models to get you interested first. Some will use old pictures of when they were young and beautiful for this also. Once they are sure you are interested it actually seems easy as they use the natural Filipino charm that lures an unsuspecting foreign man to thinking they are in love. There are some that will use a jealousy tactic and tell you that they really don't think you are interested in them leaving you with a belief that you need to do more to show true interest. I met many of those when I was going through my experience. After some time passes. Maybe a month, sometimes less there will be something that happens to her that gets her in a predicament that she needs money to get her out of. For me, coming from a country where "shit happens" its very easy to understand this and you will feel for this girl and want to help her out. DON'T DO IT. There are certain circumstances where helping someone you care about is acceptable and I will go over this at a later date.
The one that comes to my mind was one of the first filpino girls I chatted with. She was very beautiful and actually said she was a model at one time. We chatted for almost a month when she had taken a trip to visit a sick relative and did not have the money to get back home. Sure I wanted to help but the fact of the matter was there was absolutely no proof she was even a girl! I never talked to her over the phone, never saw her in a web cam. These seem to be basic things you want to do before one might commit to any kind of a relationship that involves trust or money. Of course I did not help her and the more persistent she got just made me more weary of her. After that I think I may have chatted with her one more time. This was obviously a scam and she just moved on to the next potential victim.
I'm sure some of you are thinking. "Well that was obvious". The reality of it is its not and this had worked for her(or him) before and it does not matter to them because there will be another opportunity right around the corner.
Others will spend the necessary time assuring that you care for them and then bleed you for all they can get before you finally come to your senses and deny them and then they move on. These are even harder to avoid if you make the major mistake of falling in love online.
There are many other ways the scams have worked in the past but those are not so prevalent anymore mainly because a lot of those women were caught and sent to prison cleaning out the bank accounts of an unsuspecting foreign man. Now the main scammers work as described above. The logic being why go for the big score and risk jail when they can bleed who ever they can and never get caught. at most they get kicked off a site and just use one of the many other profiles the have to keep the business going. Yes it is their business and they are good at it.
Chad Tell Runs Philippines Woman. Visit his site for more information on Meeting Filipino Woman. http://www.myfilipinobride.com/
One of the most difficult things to avoid when dating most any foreign women is the scammers. This is also true with the Philippines. Maybe even one of the worst. Considering the jobless rate and the fact that they can make a rather good income from scamming foreign men. Also there is the fact that the Philippines attracts the majority of foreign men for a variety of reasons. Meaning its a large market.
The way the most prevalent scam works today is these people have at least 10 and possibly 20 different profiles on the more popular dating sites. Therefore increasing the odds that you will contact many of these before you find an honest true woman that's looking for the same thing you are. True love.
When you encounter these women (or men) they will do their best to make you make the biggest mistake of online dating (in my opinion) by falling in love online. They use pictures of Filipino actresses or models to get you interested first. Some will use old pictures of when they were young and beautiful for this also. Once they are sure you are interested it actually seems easy as they use the natural Filipino charm that lures an unsuspecting foreign man to thinking they are in love. There are some that will use a jealousy tactic and tell you that they really don't think you are interested in them leaving you with a belief that you need to do more to show true interest. I met many of those when I was going through my experience. After some time passes. Maybe a month, sometimes less there will be something that happens to her that gets her in a predicament that she needs money to get her out of. For me, coming from a country where "shit happens" its very easy to understand this and you will feel for this girl and want to help her out. DON'T DO IT. There are certain circumstances where helping someone you care about is acceptable and I will go over this at a later date.
The one that comes to my mind was one of the first filpino girls I chatted with. She was very beautiful and actually said she was a model at one time. We chatted for almost a month when she had taken a trip to visit a sick relative and did not have the money to get back home. Sure I wanted to help but the fact of the matter was there was absolutely no proof she was even a girl! I never talked to her over the phone, never saw her in a web cam. These seem to be basic things you want to do before one might commit to any kind of a relationship that involves trust or money. Of course I did not help her and the more persistent she got just made me more weary of her. After that I think I may have chatted with her one more time. This was obviously a scam and she just moved on to the next potential victim.
I'm sure some of you are thinking. "Well that was obvious". The reality of it is its not and this had worked for her(or him) before and it does not matter to them because there will be another opportunity right around the corner.
Others will spend the necessary time assuring that you care for them and then bleed you for all they can get before you finally come to your senses and deny them and then they move on. These are even harder to avoid if you make the major mistake of falling in love online.
There are many other ways the scams have worked in the past but those are not so prevalent anymore mainly because a lot of those women were caught and sent to prison cleaning out the bank accounts of an unsuspecting foreign man. Now the main scammers work as described above. The logic being why go for the big score and risk jail when they can bleed who ever they can and never get caught. at most they get kicked off a site and just use one of the many other profiles the have to keep the business going. Yes it is their business and they are good at it.
Chad Tell Runs Philippines Woman. Visit his site for more information on Meeting Filipino Woman. http://www.myfilipinobride.com/
15 Stupid Things Men Do in Relationships
Has repeated foolish mistakes set the men in your life back in their personal relationships? Could it be that they need a wake up call? Article provides insight.
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Has repeated foolish mistakes set the men in your life back in their personal relationships? Could it be that they need a wake up call? Article provides insight.
Read More
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